Dark Lullaby
by ZombieWithANoose
Summary: Fred returns to Lizzie on Halloween night, but he has a secret, two if you count who, or rather what he really is... FredxLizzie. (Doing something that's never been done before in the DDF fandom.) A hold onto your knickers inferno! - Written by zombierose3 and unleashthewords for DirtyAim.
1. Chapter 1: Trick or Treat

**Authors' Notes :**

 **zombierose3 :** Dedicated to and written for DirtyAim (aka, Queen Smut Smut), and if this story should kill her in the throes of joy, then let us also dedicate this to her memory and bow our heads.

 **unleashthewords :** For Miss DirtyAim, I hope you enjoy my efforts to make this the best smutty novel I could write with zombierose3. You're welcome. ;)

 **** Disclaimers:** We don't own Drop Dead Fred, the Twilight Zone, A Christmas Carol, Full House, or Uncle Jesse, and have no connection or relation to Michael Biehn, but we love his work. Also, we're not making a single profit from this work. (Unless laughter counts, or DirtyAim's soul, then we are rich.)

* * *

 **Chapter One**

 _Trick or Treat_

(Six months after the movie...)

* * *

"Maybe I really am crazy." Lizzie sighed as she stepped through the door to her apartment. She didn't understand how she had let her mother ruin Halloween again. Really, she had only gone over there to get a few more of her things for her new place, but perhaps that had been her first mistake. Going there on Halloween was the equivalent of walking into a venomous snake pit and expecting to walk out with a gift basket and a smile. Lizzie hadn't even made it upstairs before her mother had hooked her into her annual row with the neighbors. Ironically, Lizzie only had herself to blame for that tradition.

 _Or Drop Dead Fred._

She'd been six-years-old that Halloween. Together she and Fred had sprinted around the block, spreading rumors that her mother was a witch. An evil witch who couldn't find the right broom to sweep away her cobwebs. Looking back, Lizzie couldn't believe he'd made her tell the whole street and she blushed now that she understood his innuendo.

For a long time they had most of the neighborhood children believing Lizzie was the sole survivor of eight siblings because her mother had eaten the rest. The joke had returned every year, creating the Halloween tradition of pranking the wicked witch of Hill Street before she ate anyone else.

"Thank god she never found out it was me," she said, flicking on the kitchen light. Lizzie smiled. Some part of her wanted to scold herself for enjoying the legacy left by her and Fred, but she couldn't deny her satisfaction either. She loved any reminders of him, unfortunately most things he left in his wake came back to bite her.

All night she'd ran interference to keep Polly from calling the police on three boys. ' _Yes, Mother, they're awful. I'm sorry this keeps happening,'_ she'd repeated, doing all she could to placate her, but more and more Lizzie had rooted for the children. It's what had gotten her through.

She'd wiped rotten egg off the front porch and windows and taken the brunt of her mother's ravings about the slew of toilet paper hanging from her 'very handsome tree' in the front yard. Polly believed it to be the staple of the street. There had been no telling her that the tree was just a tree and in no way the historic landmark of Hill Street that Polly thought it was. Polly had scoffed and told Lizzie she was no different than her father, and explained how that tree uplifted a drab neighborhood from the shambles that was the street behind them. She might have gone on about Mrs. Fowler thanking her once for the upkeep on the tree, but Lizzie had tuned out after a time. She was almost glad when the third prank happened and the lawn gnomes emerged.

All of them had encircled the sacred tree, facing outward with poorly hand drawn renditions of Polly's likeness sporting a devil's goatee. Her mother had snapped and shrieked like a lunatic for the children to show themselves. Unfortunately, Lizzie had snorted within earshot and as Polly had whipped around she'd slipped on a pile of wet dog poo. Laughter had filled the air and Polly had marched off in horror, set to call the boys' parents as she barked at Lizzie to clean up everything before the sight devalued her home.

Lizzie didn't tell her mother, but she had quietly placed one of the gnomes in her car as a memento and fled the scene. She had never been so glad to be home in her life.

Setting her keys on the kitchen counter, Lizzie headed into the bedroom and stopped before the full-length mirror. "So much for this costume," she said, plucking at the black and purple witch costume she'd picked out for Janie's party. "Maybe next year-"

An urgent rap on the front door made her jump.

"Who could that be?" she asked, checking her watch. It was past ten o'clock, too late for any trick or treaters. _Maybe they'll just go away_ , she thought. All she wanted to do at this point was get out of her costume and into a bath, but the knock sounded again. "Of course. It's my Halloween karma... Alright, I'm coming," she grumbled, hurrying to the door and opening it.

Finding no one, Lizzie's eyebrows went up with curious frustration.

"Okaaaay," she said, peering out into the hall.

Empty.

"Guess, I must be hearing things..." she muttered, stepping back inside. Her mind wanted to supply spookier explanations, but as she had just moved into the first place she had ever lived alone, she did not want to indulge them.

Closing the door, Lizzie barely turned around when another abrupt knock sounded on the other side. Her heart leapt, those explanations rearing up with renewed force, filling her mind with images of some berserk madman here to murder her. Another, even louder knock made her jump.

"Look, whoever this is, you've got the wrong place!" she shouted, laying a hand over her heart. The knocking only grew louder and, losing her patience, Lizzie peeked through the keyhole to find that no one was there, even as she felt the door shake from another knock.

Recoiling, she yelped and hugged herself. "Look, this isn't funny anymore!" she shouted, but the pounding continued, taking on the tune of "Shave and a Haircut." Lizzie locked the door and felt the color leave her face. This didn't make any sense. She had just heard the knock. Whoever it was would have had no time to run out of sight...

"This is really starting to freak me out..." she whispered. Swallowing the lump in her throat, she leaned closer to the door. "I'm calling the cops, so you better just leave and get your kicks somewhere else!"

Inside, a man's voice cried out from behind her with a very familiar accent.

"Leave? Don't you know how this works? I'm here for treats, not kicks, and I'm losing my bloody patience. Try again!" Another knock beat the door in front of her.

Lizzie shrieked and clapped her hands over her ears. Spinning around, she found no one behind her and the raps persisted on the door. "You- What? I, I hate your guts!" _Oh my god_ , she thought. _He's back! He's back and he's everywhere!_

"Flattery's not a treat! How long does it take to get some service 'round here?" He kicked the door. "Come on! Trick or treat!"

"I'll give you a treat! A punch to your face!" Lizzie yelled at the door. Her heart still pounded, wildly.

"Geez, what're you supposed to be tonight? A mega, megawitch?"

Lizzie glared at the door. "If I am a mega, megawitch it's your fault! Who the hell bangs on people's doors and then pops up behind them and scares them half to death?! Go haunt someone else!"

"Nuh uh!" he said, the nasal tone making him sound all the more obnoxious. "Come and make me, or else I don't go until you've given me my treats. I've come all this way for it and if you don't do it soon I'm gonna have to pull a trick, and believe me, I've got plenty of those!" He kicked the door three times. "So, knock, knock. Trick or treat!"

Lizzie growled. She was tired and Fred's sudden, unexplained appearance and obnoxious attitude was not improving her mood. Lizzie stared at the door, debating on whether to open it or not. She knew he excelled at waiting people out until they couldn't take it anymore and she wasn't in the mood for any more of his tricks. Finally, reason won out. She unlocked the door, turned the knob, and let it swing open. "Happy?" she asked, wearily.

Standing there, covered in a white sheet with poorly cut and crooked eye holes, Fred nodded. "That's more like it." He cleared his throat before letting out a long, "WoooOOOoooo!" His hands waved from beneath the sheet in uncoordinated circles. "Now... give up the goods. Trick or ruddy treat," he said, holding out a green pillowcase.

Lizzie was unmoved. She reached for the bowl of candy she kept by the door, grabbed a handful, and half-heartedly threw it at Fred. "Happy Halloween." Lizzie slammed the door. "Now go home!"

"Hey!" Fred shouted. "You're really taking the whole spirit outta this trick or treatin' game, ya know, Snotface."

Lizzie had walked away from the door, but paused to respond. "Oh? No one calls me Snotface except my _former_ imaginary best friend and HE LEFT ME FOREVER!" Her fists clenched and her whole body shook.

Outside, Fred's jaw dropped. _Oh, so it's gonna be like this, is it?_ he thought.

In flash of green, Fred magicked into the apartment behind Lizzie and snatched the witch's hat off her head. "Left you forever, did he? Well, looks like he's come back to haunt you!" Fred whapped her on the head with the hat, making her flinch. "Boo!" He laughed.

Lizzie brushed the hair out of her eyes and turned to face him. _Of course he's dressed like a ghost. My own Ghost of Christmas Past, or Halloween Present._ "Why are you back?" she asked.

Fred stuck out his tongue, but got a mouthful of fabric and started spitting to get rid of the taste. Lizzie sighed and he dissolved the sheet using his magic.

"Ugh, there, that's better," he said, tossing the witch's hat across the room and smiling at Lizzie. His heart skipped. Without the sheet in his eyes, he finally saw how stunning she looked.

Her hair had grown out to her shoulders and her eyes were as dark and beautiful as ever. No one had eyes like hers; he swore they were magic because he couldn't forget them- he couldn't forget her. Her dress hung to her mid-thighs and its dark colors seemed to make her pale skin glow. As an adult, Fred had never seen her in anything that revealed her legs so much and he couldn't help memorizing them and everything else about her in this moment. Leaving her had been the biggest mistake of his life.

 _I missed you so much, Snotface. I never should've left you_ , he thought, the ache in his chest that had persisted for months worsened by their closeness. _God, I hope I'm not making a mistake in this..._ His hands felt clammy and trembled after the thought.

"Um, why am I back?" he repeated, stalling for time. Everything he'd planned to tell Lizzie had unraveled from one look at her. _Great start, this is._ Fred slouched, shoving his hands into the pockets of his green and yellow suit. "Because," he said, offering a sheepish smile.

Lizzie stared. "Because? You stormed back into my life, turned it upside down... helped me get rid of Charles, and just left. Now you're back... because?!" Lizzie's voice rose an octave at the last word and Fred frowned.

"Do you really wanna know?" he whispered, stepping closer.

Her brow furrowed. She hadn't expected this kind of response, just another obnoxious retort. It worried her. "Are you going to give me an honest answer?" Lizzie twisted her fingers together, fidgeting because she didn't think she was ready for his answer. "Why now?"

He studied her, tilting his head. _Why the hell isn't she happier to see me? This isn't at all like I pictured._ Fred's heart sank. Since she'd grown up, he had a lot of trouble understanding her in times like this. _Didn't nearly piss her off so much when she was short. Knew she didn't wanna see me as I did her..._ His eyebrows went up and he shrugged. "Well, I can't very well trick or treat any other time of the year, Snotface."

"Of course! How stupid of me! You must have gotten a day pass to trick or treat and haunt your old friend." Anger and hurt warred within her- and anger was easier to express. "I'm so glad you could show up _again unannounced!"_ Lizzie paced before she started throwing things. "So what now? You going to leave again and maybe show up when it's convenient for you? And play your stupid games?" Her hurt threatened to spill over as tears, but she bit her lip, willing herself not to cry.

"Hey, that's really not fair! And my games aren't stupid! You use to love my games," said Fred, fighting the sting of her words. "And I've come back, haven't I? So why can't you just BE HAPPY about it?" he asked, trying to follow her steps. Like old times, the sight of seeing his Snotface upset made him crazy to console her, unfortunately he didn't always know how to do that. The worry in his gut sent his heart racing. Where the hell had he gone wrong in all this? Why wasn't she happy to see him?

"Fair? Happy? Let's talk about fair! You came back into my life! You sunk Janie's boat, you caused your usual havoc, and yes, you helped me boot Charles out of my life, and I thought everything was finally going to be okay, and then you left. You ki-" Lizzie checked herself and took a deep breath.

"You said goodbye and then you left. I've learned to live without you again, and then you show up. And how do you show up? Scaring the crap outta me, and I'm supposed to be happy? You have a different definition then, because I don't understand why you'd choose to announce that you're back in this way. Were you just wanting a laugh at my expense? Is this an elaborate and stupid joke? Could you have come back at any time?" Lizzie looked at him, sad and dismayed. She didn't want to hear that he could have come back whenever he wanted, but chose not to.

"Lizzie-" Fred's voice cracked, betraying him with emotion and he stared at his feet. "I was only trying to make you laugh by dressing up..." He fidgeted with his hands. He really hadn't known he'd hurt her this much and it tore him up. Sure, he'd known she'd wanted him to stay, but so had every charge he'd said goodbye to, of course they had all been children. If only he'd realized this time had been different because showing up out of nowhere had just made everything worse. Apparently he wasn't just lousy at goodbyes, but hellos, too. Did he even stand a chance to fix this? To explain? Would she even want to hear the real reason he'd come back? Fred's hope twisted into anguish. It seemed he never expressed things right anymore whenever he tried making her happy.

"I... I really did have to leave, Snotface," he said at last, "and honest, I didn't think I _could_ come back."

Lizzie's anger ebbed, leaving her tired again. "But you're here. If you couldn't come back how are you here now?" Desperation wavered her voice.

"Because..." Fred took a deep breath and finally looked her in the eyes. "I only got one more chance and I could only use it on Halloween." _Well, that's a big lie_ , he thought, feeling like such a coward, but if she knew why he'd had to leave, then he really stood no chance.

Lizzie shook her head. Another typical, strange conversation with Fred that didn't make any sense. She sat down on the couch. "What do you mean one more chance? For what?"

Fred sat beside her, struck by the memory of the last time they'd sat like this together. That had been in a very different apartment, though, with not a drop of Lizzie found in any of the rooms. She'd confessed how much she'd loved Charles to him that day and he'd never felt so sick. Looking around at her place now, Fred found it hard to believe it had only been six months since she'd left the bastard. Everything here screamed Lizzie down to the pattern on the sofa. Artwork, purple drapes, shelves full of books, and... Fred stared. His jack-in-the-box sat on the mantle beside an empty vase.

 _Maybe she missed me more than I thought?_

Hope fluttered inside him and he folded his hands together. _Here goes, I guess..._ he thought. "There's a lot about me you don't know, Snotface."

"Well, you were never into sharing things about yourself," Lizzie said. "I suppose it didn't matter when I was little and then after... when you came back it never came up." Lizzie turned and studied her manic friend, realizing he was a mystery to her. "What don't I know? Are you married with seven imaginary kids?"

Fred laughed. "The universe can rest safe for another night knowing I've never spawned," he said, relaxing at the welcomed show of Lizzie's humor. "But... you know I'm not just imaginary, don't you? Cuz if not, the rest of this is _really_ gonna be hard to take."

"I never thought about it. I guessed imaginary meant imaginary, but I never thought what that actually meant... Are you saying that you're real? I don't understand. I think I'm getting a headache." Lizzie rubbed her temples.

"That's exactly what I'm saying." Fred swallowed, his pulse quickening. "I am very real. Just not so much in _this_ world," he said. His nerves bit at him. How the hell was he gonna explain the rest without terrifying her?

"This world," she echoed. "What do you mean this world? Is there more than one world?" Lizzie flopped back on the couch, covering her eyes with one hand. "I don't suppose you want to pop over to the bathroom and get me an Aspirin?"

Fred winced. _Great. Only just told her I'm real and already I've split her head_ , he thought, blinking away for the medicine cabinet. He returned, Aspirin and glass of water in hand. "Might wanna swallow this before I answer any further. Trust me, it gets weirder," he said, smiling at her for reassurance.

"Thanks," she mumbled as she took the Aspirin, tossed it in her mouth, and took a big sip from the glass. "I hope this kicks in soon. Okay. Hit me with this other world stuff." She took another drink and Fred grimaced.

She would either accept this, or beat him. _Or possibly I'll finally push her into an institution..._

"There's lots of worlds, Snotface. You just don't see them. They all run mixed up with yours. Sorta like alternate dimensions. Mostly they're all separated, despite the closeness, but... some of us get access to doorways into the others. That's how you see me now. How you saw me before." Fred wrung his hands together.

Lizzie wrinkled her nose as she tried to process this. "So, not other planets... They're other worlds somewhere else? All around us? This sounds like the Twilight Zone. So, you come from one of these other worlds?" Lizzie stared at Fred, beginning to see him as a person, but wondering if he was something else entirely.

"Yeah, I, I come from one of them, but I like your world a lot," he said, smiling at her. He hoped that hearing this wasn't too weird for her. He knew Lizzie could take a lot, but now he wasn't so sure. Everything depended on how well he handled this conversation. "You alright?"

"I- So, you're real, but you're not... human?" She felt more confused than worried. Not being human seemed the least strange thing about Fred, after all it could explain a lot.

"Erm, yeah I'm real, and no. I'm not human, Snotface. I wish I was..." he said, looking away from her. Fred repositioned himself on the couch, not because he wanted to, but because the topic suddenly had him feeling fidgety.

 _Fred isn't human?_ Lizzie sat up straight. What did that make him? _This conversation's getting stranger by the second._ "What world are you from?" she asked.

"I'm from... a much darker world than yours. Um, we call it Lullabi."

"What does that mean? What are you exactly? Why is your world darker?" Strange thoughts flooded her brain. She pictured dark shadows and snarling creatures. "Lullabi. Is that like dreams?"

An overly high-pitched and nervous laugh erupted from Fred and he leapt from the sofa. Lizzie blinked. _I didn't think it was possible, but he's even weirder than normal._ His characteristic energy took hold and he paced the floor, but Lizzie noticed he seemed agitated, not his usual manic self.

"It's... I don't know, I didn't make it!" he said. "It's just darker in the things they do there... I guess, um..." _I'm so stupid to bring any of this up. She's gonna hate me if I tell her. I'll be a monster in her eyes. She's already scared enough of me as it is while not knowing what I am!_

Tapping his fingertips together, Fred quickly added, "Yes, it's got some things to do with dreams. Certain kinds, that is..." Fred didn't realize how hard he breathed and he stopped in front of Lizzie. _God, she's so beautiful._ He wanted to remember the sight of her brown eyes looking at him this way before she found out the truth. _And this is probably my last chance..._

"Who is they?" She sighed, deeply. "Fred, this is going on for too long. Just tell me. Who are you?"

 _Here it comes_ , he thought. _She'll never want me near her again._ However, he knew he had to tell her, no matter how futile his attempt. He couldn't keep everything to himself any longer, not after what he'd realized. Not when he didn't have the strength to run from it anymore. His heart couldn't take another day without her.

Reclaiming his seat beside Lizzie, Fred took her hand, but she almost didn't register the action. It was an unusual gesture from him, but his demeanor is what caught her focus. He seemed so worried...

"I come from somewhere where it's always night," he said. "There's a word you humans have for us, but I don't like it because it's always so synonymous with evil and, Snotface, I don't want you to think that's what I am, because I'm not evil. I promise." He stared into her eyes, so focused on not cocking up his words that the worry inside him reflected into his gaze. "Lullabi's a mix of names. Combination of lullaby and... succubi and incubi... because of what it deals in... I'm... I'm an incubus, Snotface. A really bad one who got demoted to being an imaginary friend, but still an incubus."

Lizzie didn't know how to take Fred's secret. She registered evil, succubi, and incubi, but they seemed like foreign words, so she did the only thing she could.

She laughed.

"That's ridiculous! That's fairy tale, folklore stuff. How could you be some weird..." She waved her hand as if she could grab the word she wanted from the air. "What are they supposed to be? Demons? Demons that suck souls, or something? How could you be that and then be an imaginary friend? You're not evil, you're just weird."

Fred didn't laugh. He fought against disappearing into the night with hopes of saving some shred of his dignity and the memories he had of Lizzie. "I told you I didn't like that word, Snotface," he said, a hurtful pout on his face. "But alright fine, yes, we're demons, but it's not like the definition you know. I told you I'm not some monster, and I certainly never sucked anyone's soul!" Fred drew back his hand and ran it over his face in frustration. "Let's start again. Do you even know what an incubus is?"

"I don't know! They don't teach that in school or church! Explain it. I'd probably be wrong anyway." Lizzie struggled not to laugh at this new side of Fred. Indignant Fred was new.

A full on blush went over his face as he realized what topic he'd just steered them toward. _Oh fucking hell._ "Uh..." His cheeks puffed out as he exhaled and Lizzie's eyes widened.

His blush shocked her. Fred never got embarrassed; he always embarrassed her. Lizzie leaned closer, curious to hear more.

"I'm... Incubi are spirits, or using your word, _demons_." Fred made a face as he said it just to emphasize the bad taste it left in his mouth. "They feed off, well, not souls. Really it's- They feed off-"

 _This is like pulling teeth,_ Lizzie thought. She wanted to shake Fred and make him spill whatever he wanted to tell her.

Gripping the couch cushion, Fred closed his eyes so that he could say this with a straight face. "They feed off sexual desires. Incubi are men, like me, and, uh... are supposed to feed off women, and, and succubi are the opposite." Fred opened his eyes, squinting at her. At least she hadn't ran off screaming yet...

Lizzie started. "What did you say? Incubi feed off sexual desires? How does that even work? How can you be that and an imaginary friend?" She had so many questions. "Are you joking about this?"

Fred took another deep breath and grabbed both sides of Lizzie's face to keep her eyes steady on him. He needed her to believe him, but even more he needed to see that she wasn't afraid. "Snotface, you've seen how I get about sex, why would I pretend to suddenly be something that is meant to survive off the essence of it?" His heart pounded and his mouth went dry. _Please don't run._

Lizzie just stared into his blue eyes as they focused on her so desperately. She had never noticed they were so bright. "Okay... I..." She pushed his hands from her face and sat back, taking a better look at him. "I don't understand any of it, but okay, you're a de- ...incubus. So, is this really you? Or are you some kind of spirit?" Lizzie looked at him, doubtful. "Can you change into something else?"

Fred frowned. "Why? Do you want me to be something else?" he asked before catching himself.

"Oh. Well, if you can change, could you be Uncle Jesse from Full House?" she asked, failing to suppress a grin.

"What?!" he cried, hopping up. "What do you think I am? Some kind of on demand avatar?!" Fred's fists clenched, but inside his heart felt like it had been run through.

Lizzie laughed. "I was kidding! Don't get bent out of shape." She shook her head. Fred was full of surprises.

An unintelligible squeak erupted from Fred and he threw his hands over his face. "Ugh, Snotface!" _I swear to god I wanna die right now..._ She'd gotten him good.

"Can you, though?" She stifled the rest of her giggles. "I mean, can you just change your appearance completely?"

Fred dropped his hands and looked at her. "Of course I can change, and this is my real form, although I do have others... but they're more incorporeal for dreams, whatever the dreamer desires is what I'd become... I'm a spirit, but this is my face." He smiled.

His answer made Lizzie queasy as something else occurred to her. If Fred was some kind of demon who fed off sex, did he do certain things?

"So, do you have sex with women as an incubus?" Lizzie asked before thinking better of it.

Fred cringed, but the mention of sex with women from Lizzie's mouth left him with several conflicting emotions. He couldn't help but feel that part of his nature stir up with lust for her and he whined, trying to force it back. "Why you asking all these questions, Snotface?"

Lizzie smiled, enjoying a familiar reaction. Fred wasn't a fan of feelings or things of a human nature unless it involved farts or burps. She felt a little better, feeling like it was regular, old Fred and not a weird demon-version of him.

"I- See, having sex is the part I wasn't good at-" Fred choked at his poor word choice, eyes widening. "But only because I've never done it!" He flushed, the heat unbearable. _Oh god, this just keeps getting worse, doesn't it?_ "I'm a virgin, actually, because I didn't want the incubi lifestyle. That's why I got demoted. I just couldn't go through with it. Not that I didn't find scraps in roundabout ways to survive. Um..." Lizzie's mouth fell open and Fred's lips practically burned to kiss her. He missed those lips.

 _Ah, fuck. I should've known talking about this would do this to me_ , he thought, struggling to keep on task and explain himself. Six months away hadn't improved his tricks to suppress his nature at all.

"Virgin?" Lizzie's eyebrows rose.

"Yeah. So, if you've ever wondered why I'm a bit off, it's because I've not been properly fed!" He laughed, hoping a joke would make this less unbearable.

"Fred, how can you be the only sex demon with an aversion to sex?" she asked. It seemed surreal, and yet very Fred. "I can't believe there's a man alive who wouldn't go through with sex."

"Yeah, my kind tells me the same thing, Snotface. Apparently I'm the embarrassing anomaly." Fred rolled his eyes. "I just wanna be more than an incubus."

"It just seems biologically impossible." She shook her head. "But what do you mean by scraps and feeding? You need to explain that. You don't drink blood, do you?" Lizzie felt queasy again.

"No, I don't drink blood! I'm not a leech!" he cried, sinking back on the sofa and crossing his arms.

"Sorry," Lizzie said, sheepishly. She hadn't meant to offend him. "Everything's just so... new to me."

"I- Alright, you wanna know the truth?" he asked, looking in her eyes. "I don't like to talk about it because I don't like want happens to me when I indulge in it. I've always been afraid of taking too much energy and hurting someone... I... I couldn't live with myself if I did that. So, that's why I've never actually done it, and by scraps I just sorta feed off sexual desires from grown ups while not engaging in it with them. I like being around children because it sorta suppresses all the urges. Makes me feel closer to human."

Fred's confession had Lizzie both worried and morbidly curious. She wanted to ask more, but she didn't want to offend him further. "Well, you look human and you act human. Mostly." She gave him a small smile. "So, then you kinda live like a human, but... you feed off sexual desires and only if you have to? You can't not feed?"

Fred couldn't help but smile for the fact his Snotface saw him as mostly human. He took it as a compliment and it warmed his heart, however, he worried newer information would affect that perception as he continued.

"No, I have to take in something, Snotface. It's necessary for me to function, I could die otherwise, or go completely mad, but, um... so now you know what I really am." He smiled, but it lacked its usual bravado.

"Oh. I guess if you're something other than human then the rules are different? So, then feeding off sexual desires is a necessity. I guess if you have to do it... there isn't any choice." Fred nodded slowly and she took a moment to think this over. To do this because he had to to survive put a different spin on it.

"Yeah... Still wanna be my friend knowing what an inner perv I really am?" he asked, smirking.

Lizzie looked at him. Watching him act so casual, pretending what he did was no big deal, made her think of him as regular, imaginary Drop Dead Fred. "I think I've seen your inner perv. I recall you sliding on the floor, looking up a certain woman's dress and yelling that she had no panties." Lizzie rolled her eyes at this memory. She remembered the woman, but didn't want to talk about her further or mention her by name. Thinking back, she recalled Fred had ogled other women as well. At the time it had made her think perhaps he was a red-blooded male after all, despite his childish antics. Apparently she'd been right.

She smiled. "So, if that's the worst of your perv then I think I can live with it." Lizzie laughed and Fred couldn't help but join her.

"Trust me, a couple of those were a mistake!" Relief washed over him. Lizzie was a lot more open than he had expected. Their bond continued to surprise him.

While he had helped her fix her life, he didn't know how much that help outweighed the times he'd been an outright bastard and made things exponentially worse. He could blame nothing but his nature for that, as fear and violence were another temptation for an incubi, but that didn't mean he was proud of it deep down. Honestly he felt lucky Lizzie still liked him at all, and while she accepted him perv and all, he felt a bit embarrassed for the fact he had peeked beneath all those dresses right in front of her. He really did try not to do things like that, especially when someone else could see him, but sometimes his urges got the best of him. With Lizzie being an adult it had oddly mixed with a desire to make her laugh, and he couldn't deny he'd pretended those skirts had been hers.

"Fred?" Lizzie asked, growing quiet. "You mentioned being afraid... Do you... do you hurt people when you feed off them?"

Her question threw him and he frowned. "Um... not in the little amounts I do, no, but sometimes I've heard stories of actual contact, in either form, erm... Yes, but normally it just leaves mortals a bit worn out afterwards," he said. He didn't want to tell her any more than that. Then she might really be afraid of his nature. She hadn't ran yet, he worried the limit was close. "But otherwise it's supposed to be extremely pleasurable for both parties... Addicting, even."

"Oh." That wasn't really what she wanted to hear. "I hope it doesn't really hurt. I mean, hurt other people when you... feed. Is it like when people have sex? Because people are sore afterwards... sometimes. I heard." She blushed. _This is so awkward._ "I, um, how is it addicting?"

"Uh." Fred turned his gaze straight ahead at the wall. _God, Snotface..._ "No, you- Humans would end up tired from the feeding, but, um... I suppose soreness would be... possible," Fred mumbled, clearing his throat.

"Soreness?" She realized the implications and blushed. "I, I see."

"And it's, uh, addicting because of how good it feels... Not that I would know, mind you, but from what I've been taught, it's different from normal human, ugh, you know, stamping and pecking." He made a face, but kept his eyes straight ahead, worried what he might feel or do if he explained this while looking at Lizzie's face.

"It's more than just physical with us... It's that, and spiritual. Magic goes into every speck of your being and turns everything into an erogenous zone. Everything gets connected. Bodies. Souls. It builds, and feeds off the energies. It's consuming, really." Fred squeezed his fingers, his jaw clenching ever-so-slightly. "That's why it's hard to stop."

"Oh," she stammered, dumbstruck. She had never experienced sex like that before; she hadn't even known it existed. Usually it had involved Charles moaning and praising himself until he finished. It never mattered whether she'd been satisfied, too. Lizzie had given up on the idea that sex could ever be a good experience for her, but Fred made it sound like it could be very different. She wondered what it would be like to experience it with every ounce of her body and soul, and to ache from so much sex.

Her mind flashed to those trashy novels she had read once on a whim during a trip. Those characters had experienced so much pleasure, and in great detail. Thoughts of 'hardness' and 'thrusting' and 'sweaty bodies' started to stir things in her and Lizzie flushed. She had to think of something else.

"So, addicting... People enjoy it so much they just want more? Like over and over? What does that do to a person?" she asked.

Fred felt the change in the air around Lizzie. The energy thickened with a sweeter scent that sent a pulse through his being. The sensation buzzed in his mind and body and his heart hammered to keep up. Lizzie's energy tempted and tortured him like an oasis appearing before a parched man in the desert and made him gasp. _Where the bloody hell did that come from? Did I bring that out?_

Hopping from the couch, Fred paced, trying to expel the building temptation to let his essence reach out for a taste of her. He ran his hands through his hair, rubbed his hands together, and kept a steady gaze on the floor. Why did it feel like she called to him?

"Well, um, too much can... can drain a life force or make a mortal insane, but that's worst cases. The stories your world has of us are true, but they're old. We're really very different now. Really, we're meant to be sorta like sex fairies, or muses. By the way, never call me a fairy," he said, shooting her a look. "We inspire, or bring fantasies to life, help the lonely, etcetera... but some of us just can't control our urges and it can end up in a bad place. So, really in most cases it just feels really good..." Fred looked down in shame. _This is it. She's gonna tell me to get out now._ The thought at least killed his desires threatening to spill out and ruin his remaining friendship with Lizzie.

"Death by sex?" She gaped.

"You'd actually be surprised how many people want to go that way..." Fred laughed, but it died away into awkward silence.

"I-" Lizzie tried processing his answer. "I suppose there are worse ways to go..." she said. Fred looked so awkward she felt embarrassed for him. "I'm sorry. I don't know what to say. This is just so strange. I can see how fantasies could help in a way. Sometimes people are missing some romance and that release of sexual tension." Sadly, Lizzie knew from personal experience, and thoughts of those romance novels returned, but she pushed them aside. _Now's definitely not the time to fantasize, Lizzie._

"Yeah. Helpful," he murmured. Unfortunately, her bringing up the words 'release' and 'sexual tension' brought Fred's awkwardness to new heights. His mind flashed with bestowing those very things on her, and shoving the urges down felt like digesting barbed wire.

"You have always wanted to help people," Lizzie added. "I can't be mad at you for that. I look at you and see Drop Dead Fred, my friend, and I can't believe that you're supposed to be some kind of monster."

Fred's eyes lit up with his smile, tensions and pacing instantly forgotten. She didn't hate him, or want him to leave? His heart skipped several beats. "Thanks, Snotface... It means a lot, really. So... does that mean you're not afraid of me? Now that you know what I really am?"

"I honestly can't pretend to understand this incubus thing, but you've been my friend for a long time and you've always been there for me. I don't know how I could be afraid of you." Lizzie smiled back. "It's just strange to think of you as being a de- A person who feeds off sex. Just don't try feeding off me. Not that me feeling anything for anyone would ever be an issue." She scowled, as did Fred.

He wished she'd lose her compulsion to call him a demon. He hated that word, and it took all he had to bite his tongue and force a smile. "I've never tried feeding off ya, Snotface. You're off limits far as I'm concerned. I'd never do that without permissi- Oh, you know what I mean."

Lizzie blinked. She had been joking, but hearing him say that seemed so strange. She hoped he had never been there for sex with Charles, and her cheeks flamed at the thought. _Oh my God. That'd be so embarrassing! I don't think I could look him in the face. He probably thinks I'm bad in bed._ She almost groaned out loud and fought the urge to run and hide under her bed.

"I eat elsewhere. Promise." Fred picked his nose and dabbed her cheek. _There. Now maybe I can stop thinking about all those times I wanted to kiss her, or make her entirely mine since she had to go and grow up._ The expression on her face from the snot made him laugh. She looked stunned.

Lizzie wiped her cheek. It was weird to think of Fred as an adult who had a problem with sex and had to feed off sexual desires. For God's sake, he still wiped boogers on her! While he had done it when she was little, doing it now seemed at odds with this new Fred. She thought about telling him, but figured snot was the least of their issues right now. His 'eating elsewhere' comment haunted her.

"So," she said, pausing and looking at him. "Do you get to stay now? Can you come back anytime you want?"

"Yeah I, I can stay now... if I want to," he said, quietly.

Lizzie sat up, but froze. His reaction wasn't at all like she expected. Why didn't he sound excited about this?

Beside her, Fred's heart thundered, threatening to break his chest. He knew where this topic would lead them. Scooting back in his seat, Fred struggled to hold himself together. "Um, but I do have one small problem with it that needs discussed if I do stay, Snotface."

"What do you mean there's a problem?"

"I mean, there's this one thing on my mind that worries me about coming back." He knew this was his opening, his chance to find out where he stood with her, but he didn't know if he could take it if this didn't work out like he hoped. Another part of him worried it would turn out exactly like he hoped... "You remember at all the way we said goodbye?"

Her brow furrowed. "When we said goodbye? We were in a different place. It was like a dream. You... hugged me and said goodbye." Lizzie fidgeted in her seat. _Why's he asking about this now?_

Squirming, Fred found it hard to bite down his hurt and agitation. Had she really forgotten? Or was she avoiding this altogether? "We kissed, Lizzie. Or don't you remember?"

Lizzie felt her cheeks warm from embarrassment. She hadn't forgotten. She had replayed it over and over in her mind until she thought she might go insane. As time passed and Fred didn't come back, she had tried to forget it. Every time she thought she had, it returned, unbidden and always as she lay in bed at night. She had picked that moment apart so many times. Was it just a goodbye kiss from one friend to another, or something more? It seemed her chance to find out had come.

"I- You, you kissed me goodbye!" she cried. "What was I supposed to take away from that?" Lizzie's anger rekindled and she used it as shield from her embarrassment.

"I don't know! Should I have left you with instructions?!" he cried, throwing his arms out. _What's she getting all uppity for now?_ "Technically, I asked you to kiss me and you did, so there. You're just as guilty as me, thank you!"

"Guilty of what? Saying goodbye to someone I care about? Of being left behind?"

 _Cared about?_ Fred grinned.

"Why don't we try something different, then? Then you can have a real reason to yell at me!" Lizzie turned and left the living room, marching off for her bedroom.

 _God, who does he think he is? 'Remember when I kissed you and just left you with that memory to stew over?' Yes, thank you so much. Now you want to chat about it and act like I jumped on you and planted one on you?_

"Oi! What's gotten into you?" shouted Fred, utterly beside himself. _Who does she think she is leaving me here in the midst of a very important conversation like a fool after saying she cares about me? Who the bloody hell does that?!_

Boiling, Fred stomped after her, but Lizzie shoved open her bedroom door, hurried inside, and slammed it right in his face.

"OW!" he cried, grabbing his nose.

"Now he wants to ruin Halloween for me, too. I hope he comes back at Christmas and ruins that, too. He can set my tree on fire." She fumed, not knowing what to do with herself. Kicking off her shoes, she started straightening her pillows to distract herself.

Outside, Fred rubbed his aching nose. _I've gotta stop letting that happen! She's done that to me at least five times now!_ He kicked the door in frustration. "So we're back to the way this night started, I see?" he shouted, but dropped his voice low, muttering to himself, "Brilliant idea this was. One moment she likes me, the next she tries to beat my face off." He sighed and magicked himself into the room, appearing in a flash of green at the foot of the bed. "What'd ya leave me for? I was trying to talk to you."

"Ugh!" she yelled. "Why do you have to do that? This is my room and my apartment! You can't just pop in when you feel like it!" She threw a rolled up pair of socks at him. "Get out!"

Ducking her missile, Fred snatched up the stuffed bunny from her dresser and threw it at her head. The stuffed animal bounced off her noggin and rolled beneath the bed.

"I can go wherever I want to!" he cried. "So, no! I'm not goin' anywhere and you can't make me." Fred blew her a loud raspberry, spit flying everywhere. "You wanted me to stay a moment ago, now you want me to leave? Are you out of your ruddy skull? Were you bit by a tick? Why did you leave me out there?"

"Because you're an ass! What do you want from me? Do you just like popping in and out of my life when it's convenient for you? You can come and go without any reason, and I'm supposed to be happy about it? Do you enjoy waltzing off to wherever it is you go? Do you go off and laugh?" Lizzie stood at her dresser, refusing to look at Fred. He could be so fun to talk to and then he could drive her to homicidal thoughts.

"What?!" Fred was so confused, he felt slapped. "No, of course not!" He struggled to sort through his frustration and anger, both at her and himself. _An ass? For protecting her?_ "Look, I left for a fucking good reason!" he cried, exasperated. "Ugh!" Fred kicked the bed and collapsed onto it, face in hands. "And no, I didn't enjoy it! I hated not seeing you, Snotface, but you've no idea what I've been going through, and obviously don't wanna see me long enough to hear about it! So fine! I'll just waltz away, laughing my arse off just like you described! You really want me to go? Because if that's what you really, really want, I'll do it. And I won't come back this time. You'll get everything you want then. No _Fred_ to muck it all up for you and your perfect life."

Lizzie blew out a frustrated breath. Part of her wanted to yell back and tell him to go, and part of her wanted to stop him and tell him to talk to her. She wondered if he meant it, if he'd really go for good this time. What would her life be like if she never saw him again?

Slowly, she slowly turned around, looking at his splayed out form on her bed. He hadn't left. Maybe it was time to get the truth out of him.

"What do you want to tell me?" She sighed. "Can you just tell me without being cryptic, or talking in circles, or being dramatic?"

He laid there a moment in silence, letting his hands fall to his sides. Could he? Nervous tension gripped him at the thought of finally telling her his biggest secret, the real reason he'd left her. "If I do..." he said, turning his head on the bed so he could look at her, "will you at least still be my friend?"

Lizzie stared back at him. Was this a trap? She had no idea where this was going. "I'm still your friend, even though you manage to piss me off. Why would I not be your friend after this?"

Fred smiled. He felt very tired, despite the anxiety, like he rested on the ledge of a skyscraper with a ferocious wind threatening to push him to his doom. Despite it all, the assurance Lizzie still thought of him as her friend comforted him. He had to tell her now. She deserved it at least, especially now that he realized the pain he had caused her.

Sitting up, Fred scooted to the edge of the bed. "I'm sorry I left you when I did. It wasn't because you didn't need me. It-" He gulped, savoring the sweet scent of her perfume, the same perfume that had lingered on him for days after their goodbye, tormenting him. "It was actually because of what I started to feel... um, about you." Fred winced and couldn't keep looking at Lizzie. He felt too out of his comfort zone and sure all these feelings would make him explode into millions of green and yellow pieces. Truth was, he needed her too much and it terrified him.

"I have feelings for you, Lizzie..."

 _I love you, actually_ , he thought, feeling the depth of it grip and shake him. His heart only wanted her, and it was probably going to get him into trouble if he wasn't careful.

"But because, because of what I am... it woke up my nature. I didn't trust it and I thought if I left for a while it'd all go away, but it didn't and it was the stupidest mistake I ever made..." He shook his head. "I care about you _so_ much, but I want to make one thing clear. I don't feel this because of what I am, I feel it because of this," he said, patting his chest. "The rest is just a bleedin' hazard of being what I am." Finally he let his gaze wander back up to her. "I left because I got scared I'd hurt you on accident, Lizzie."

"I don't understand. You're my friend. You've been my friend for a long time and never said anything. So, now you're telling me that you have feelings for me, but you never told me and just left?" Lizzie didn't know whether she wanted to scream or cry. _When did this happen? How? Feelings? Fred has feelings for me?_ It didn't sound like him at all, but apparently she hadn't really known who or what Fred was.

Shaking, Lizzie placed her hand on the dresser for support. "You didn't talk to me about it. You never even tried." She looked at him, trying to see what she hadn't before. "So, you kiss me and bail? That's your answer? I don't know what to say to you right now." Lizzie really didn't know; this was completely foreign to her.

"Kiss you and bail? Only because I was trying to protect you from me," he said, standing up and taking her by the hands. "You hadn't even left Charles, and then me, your best, and _imaginary_ , friend is suddenly supposed to stop and share that he's an incubus and spew his feelings all over you? I'd be an idiot to think you shared then what I feel. I just wanted everything to go back to normal. I, I didn't know I could even feel like this period."

Squeezing her hands, Fred looked in her eyes with the most apologetic stare he could muster. He wished he could let her feel how terrible he did inside, but unfortunately that wasn't one of his talents. "I was afraid of what I'd do, what I nearly did a couple times, actually... so, so I left, Snotface. For you. Because I care about you." How could she believe he hadn't tried? Anything he'd ever done around her had been for her.

Lizzie yanked her hands back. "So that makes it okay? You decide you'll just spare me by not saying anything? Oh yes! Let's not tell Lizzie anything! She's too fragile! She's not capable! Once again someone decides _for me_ what I should or shouldn't know! If you cared about me you would treat me like someone you trusted!" She couldn't believe what she had heard. He was as bad as her mother, and she almost said so, but stopped herself. It would piss him off and she wasn't mad enough to hurt him intentionally, but the rest of his words caught up with her.

"Wait. What you _nearly_ did? You were going to do your succu- Incu- Whatever on me? So, I can't know about your so-called feelings, but you can use me?" Lizzie fumed.

"Ugh!" he cried, stepping away and running his hands over his face. What had his stupid mouth done now? He'd said way more than he should have, but he just wanted to be honest with her.

 _And what good has that done? Now I've kissed her and bailed, and apparently decided for her like everyone else! God, she might as well have called me Charles._

Fred felt sick, like his insides dropped into a black pit of knives. What else could he say at this point? Trying to explain everything had just hurt her more. He wanted to grab something and shake it; he wanted to scream; he wanted to reach into her head and plant everything he wanted to say in there because obviously his mouth was as helpful as a thorn in someone's arse.

"Are you kidding? Use you? Lizzie, I've never touched you! Not once! Never even peeked! You're my best friend and regardless of how I feel, I swear I'd never fucking do that! How the hell have I ever used you?! And there's nothing 'so-called' about the way I feel." Fred growled and paced. His thoughts collided with each other and he didn't know what to say, but he couldn't leave it like this.

Spinning around at her, he said, "Look, I didn't keep it from you to hurt you, or because I see you like some poor, pitiful broken doll. And it's certainly got nothing to do with whether I trust you or not! Maybe I just didn't want you to know what I am."

Lizzie stepped back. Part of her felt relieved that he had never done anything, but another part questioned if it were true. An even tinier part wondered what it would feel like if he had. "I just feel like you want me to believe you had great intentions and accept everything you're telling me, but the fact is, you hid something huge from me."

"Lizzie..." Fred's heart wrenched with grief. What did he have to say to make her believe him? "Lizzie, I'm scared of what I am, okay? It's never been an issue before you. I've always been able to handle it. To do little things to keep the urges satisfied enough to go on living the life I like, without touching _anyone_ , but..." He sighed, feeling his eyes burn with tears. "But once I started feeling what I did for you... that changed whenever I got near you. Didn't you notice the periods I stayed away from you each day were longer compared to when you were a kid? My tricks just stopped working as great, and I've been searching everywhere for a replacement, but nothing exists! I care about you. Please. Can you try to understand?"

She shook her head. "That's not an excuse! You left! I can't understand your reasons because you're talking about something that I know nothing about. You never tried to help me understand! I wouldn't know if you were staying away then because of me or not! How can I even begin to grasp this?" She flung her arms out. "I don't know if I'll ever understand it. I just... I need time."

 _Time?_ The word twisted inside him like a barb nestling into his heart. She wanted him gone? All for protecting her? For caring about her? For never fucking touching her when he felt like he might die without her? He wanted to throw the very bed through the wall. How could she ask him for time and not see how much he'd done for her? He was trying to tell her that he loved her and she threw it all back in his face without even listening! He didn't understand her at all and it hurt so much he wanted to scream, but a strange calm washed over him as he looked at her. She'd just broken his heart.

"That's... That's fair, I suppose," he said, taking a sharp breath. "I'll go, if you want... um, but... the best explanation I can give you is... Well, you've seen me all manic? Imagine that, but instead of playfulness, it's lust. Complete, uncontrollable lust. Maybe that'll make you understand why I needed to leave. I wish I was human, Lizzie. I really do. Maybe then I could handle things better, say the right things, and we certainly wouldn't be having this problem, would we? I... I really am sorry, Snotface. You do mean a lot to me. I never wanted to hurt you... or to leave." Fred walked for the door, wiping his eyes once he'd past her so she wouldn't see his tears.

Lizzie watched him, finding it strange to see him so... defeated was the closest she could put it. She had never seen him give up on anything. He looked almost broken and she felt awful, but what could she do? This was all so crazy. How was she supposed to accept her imaginary friend actually being a spirit that fed off lust? One with feelings for her, who'd nearly fed off her? It just sounded like a crazy dream, or a nightmare. While she recognized and understood the nonsense of knowing Drop Dead Fred, knowing this person, who looked like her friend but wasn't, would take time.

"I'm sorry, Fred. I just need some time. You gave me a lot to think about. I need to sleep, and maybe tomorrow night we can talk?" She tried to smile, but it felt insincere. Fred stopped in the doorway.

"Alright, Snotface," he said, turning back and doing his best to smile at her. "I'll come back then." Digging a bogey from his nose, he reached for her face, but she stepped back, turning her head away. Fred's last hopes deflated.

"Goodnight, Fred," she said. She couldn't look at him.

"G'night... and Happy Halloween," he whispered.

"Happy Halloween, Fred," she murmured back, just wanting to be alone. Seconds later, she heard the familiar jingle of his magic. Lizzie caught the last flash of green before he vanished. She sighed. "Happy Halloween, Lizzie."

Sitting on the edge of the bed, she flopped backward and stared at the ceiling, trying to think of anything but what Fred had told her. "Incubus? Really?" she muttered. "And he can't even talk about sex without squirming. He's supposed to feed off lust." She shook her head. "You won't find any here. Who am I gonna lust after? Michael Biehn?" She sat back up.

"Just go to bed, Lizzie. Clearly you need sleep." She removed her witch's costume and frowned at it. "If only I had magic powers," she said, tossing the dress in the corner and heading to her dresser. Grabbing an over-sized T-shirt, she pulled it on and removed her bra, flinging it to the floor. "If I had powers I would find a way to not have to wear a bra." Lizzie went through her usual nighttime routine, checked her locks, and got into bed.

Lying in the dark, she stared at nothing, Fred's confession returning to her. "That has to be the worst way to let someone know you like them. Leave it to Fred to make it completely out there." Several minutes passed before her fatigue won out and she fell asleep.


	2. Chapter 2: Go Big or Go Home

**Authors' Notes :**

 **unleashthewords :** I apologize to Fred for putting him through the emotional and uh, sexual, wringer. It's for his own good though. Thanks to zombierose3 for being the best co-author with an awesome sense of humor who gets me and tolerates my typos and can laugh with me about them. May you never run out of coco. Mwahahaha! To the readers: I look forward to your thoughts and comments. Enjoy. **[On another note: If anyone is questioning Fred's stamina, please remember in this story he is an incubus and he doesn't tire.]**

 **zombierose3 :** When you try to type "cock," but put "coco" instead you never live it down, do you? Lol. Just give me some marshmallows, I guess. *ahem* Yeah, I look forward to everyone's thoughts and comments, too. Thank you for those of you who followed, favorited, and left comments on chapter one! Enjoy your treat, dirtyaim! Or your coco? I don't know anymore, but we tried to put sprinkles on top!

 **** Disclaimers:** We don't own Drop Dead Fred, or Slip 'N Slide, and we're not making a single profit from this work.

* * *

 **Chapter Two**

 _Go Big or Go Home_

"You have to go now," said Fred.

Lizzie looked around, finding herself in a dark and twisted version of her old room. Drop Dead Fred watched her from across the room, his green suit just visible in the darkness. An uneasy feeling settled in Lizzie's stomach, the familiarity of the scene rushing to her mind. Fred was about to tell her goodbye.

 _Why am I going over this again? Why's it always this moment?_ She frowned.

"Why?" she asked. "Can't I stay?"

"No. You have to go alone."

Reliving those words didn't hurt any less and it surprised her. "But I want you to come back with me," she said, pushing aside her anxiety at his suggestion.

"Well, that's just tough. You have to go alone." Fred shook his head. "I can't get back now." He pursed his lips. "...Look, you've got you now. You don't need me. Not anymore."

 _Who's he trying to convince?_ She studied him, trying to see what he didn't say, but she found nothing. _You can't get back now?_ She stared at his calm face and felt her anger rise, her dream mixing with the memories of last night. She knew his words were a lie because he'd come back to her and confessed that he'd been full of shit.

 _Why couldn't you have just told me the truth right here? Why was it so hard?_ Her stomach knotted over the encroaching goodbye. _What would've happened if you'd just stayed?_ Lizzie fumed. _I can't do this again._

"So… goodbye," said Fred with a shrug and an unconvincing smile.

Slowly, he walked toward her, his gaze locked with hers as the room faded into darkness. Lizzie's heart pounded. They stood face to face, a ring of light surrounding them like they were all that existed.

"Just kiss me and say Drop Dead Fred."

Lizzie stared up at him and clenched her fists.

"Now," he added.

"I will do no such thing!"

Fred blinked. "What?"

"I'm not telling you goodbye!"

Fred gaped at her as though struck, confusion furrowing his brow. "Yes, you are! You have to say it. I'm trying to do what's best for you."

"No, I don't!" She leaned closer, anger flashing in her eyes. "It's not what's best for me! It's the worst thing you could do!"

"It is _not_! Look, I said I can't get back. You've gotta go. Quit arguing with me. How 'bout a wave, then? Can you manage that?" he asked.

Lizzie growled in frustration. "You're full of it! You're just running away! Admit it!"

"Running… away?" He stared at her, hesitation in his eyes, but it transformed into hurt. "Am not! I don't run from anything. I'm Drop Dead Fred! At least I can say three little words." He rolled his eyes.

"I can, too. You're a liar!"

Fred's jaw dropped. "A what?" He leaned back, shoving his hands in his pockets as silence fell between them. "Alright. You're right," he said, looking in her eyes. "But it's better than the truth, so you better just get outta here, Snotface. Please. Just… just say it."

Lizzie rocked back onto her heels. His admission stunned her. "Tell me the truth, Fred. I need to know."

"Why? What difference does it make?" he asked, his expression pained.

Calmed, Lizzie looked into his eyes, searching for the answers she needed. "Please, it's important to me. I need to hear this from you now."

"Snotface…" He took a slow, deep breath, which shook as he exhaled. "It's... The truth is it's because I need you… and I'm scared." Fred shifted, unable to look her in the eyes. "I care for you, and I shouldn't, so I have to go away. I'm sorry," he whispered. "Please just say it."

Shocked, Lizzie stared at Fred, speechless. Letting out the breath she had been holding, she reached out and turned his face toward hers. When he finally looked into her eyes, she smiled at him. "Was that so hard?"

Fred gave her a sly smile. "Yes. I could've died, ya know! I could've turned into a girl and puked out all my eyeballs! It would've been terrible!" he cried, but his features softened. "You're stubborn. You know that? And you've given me cooties." Fred slouched and pouted. "Why won't you just let me go?"

Fighting back a laugh, she shook her head at Fred's antics. "Yes, I'm sure that would have been just terrible." Growing serious, she looked at Fred's slouching form. "I let you go once. I don't think I can do it again."

Frowning, Fred reached out and stroked her face. "You're twenty-seven. Bit old for an imaginary friend. It's time for you to be a big girl and forget about me." He stepped closer. "Just, kiss me first… Just once and I'll go. You'll have your normal life back."

Fred had a point. Lizzie couldn't deny it. Grown women didn't need imaginary friends, but he wasn't just her imaginary friend. Surprised by the thought, Lizzie leaned in and their lips came together. It was a surreal, bittersweet feeling, but it didn't feel wrong.

Fred's arms wrapped around her tight and her hands pressed against his torso. She felt the warmth of his lips, how soft they were, and savored it. This could be the last time they were together and the thought hurt.

Reluctantly, she pulled back just enough so their lips no longer touched. How was she supposed to live without Fred again? She had to change things, to see what it might be like if he didn't go; he couldn't leave her again. "I'm not saying goodbye."

Fred stared at her and his somber expression dissolved into a grin. "For once, I love the sound of you not listening to me."

"Maybe this is the new assertive me." She smiled. "You're staying and that's that."

"Why, Snotface…" He smirked. "Are you saying I'm all yours, or else?"

Lizzie realized they still embraced with their faces very close, but she didn't want to move. She liked the feeling of being in Fred's arms. It felt safe, comfortable, right. She tried to keep her focus on what he said. "All mine? Well, who's would you be?" She suddenly felt shy as Fred's nose brushed with hers.

"No one's. Hard to really go anywhere and refuse a request like yours when you've stolen all of me. You've got my heart, 'Lizabeth." Closing his eyes, Fred laid a soft kiss against her lips and Lizzie sighed against them.

She couldn't believe Fred had said that. It was so sweet, so unlike him. She gently kissed him back. This was happening between them, and part of her wondered why, and the other part of her told that part to shut up.

Lizzie pulled back just enough to whisper, "Don't leave."

* * *

Drop Dead Fred sat in the rocking chair near Jessica's bed. His new charge slept, alternating between nose whistles and snores because of her cold. Fred found it strangely melodic, watching her in contemplation. He'd been assigned to her for a week and it still felt odd being in a new place with a new kid. Empty, really. A feeling that had grown over the last six months, which both bothered and confused him.

"I don't think I'll ever get use to change…" he whispered, watching his drooling friend. "Don't tell anyone. Just looks easy because I'm Fred." His fingers drummed against the armrest. As often as he switched from kid to kid, moving on never became any less difficult. Guilt stayed with him for a time, and he worried if he'd left charges too soon. He never got to find out if he had, except for Lizzie.

"Wish I could just explain to all of you that I don't have a choice," he said, watching Jessica sleep. "You're my second friend in six months, actually." She rolled onto her back and snorted, making Fred laugh. "You're lots of fun, though, for a Snot-Whistle." He used his magic to pull the blankets she'd kicked off back around her, but his joy faded. "And in a few more months, I'll be gone from you, too because I'm just a crazy, wide-eyed loner… still on a doomed space mission to Venus."

Contempt flared at the truth in his story, his small way of revealing he was an incubus, expected to return to his nature. "It's stupid," he lamented, but being an incubus Fred couldn't stay near the same human for long. The imaginary friend council had come up with that law as a precaution, fearing what the long-term effects of his presence might be around a mortal female.

It didn't matter that his nature wouldn't get used on a child. His very presence eventually wore on whoever he connected to because of how his magic worked. Since his powers couldn't connect with a male, it forced him to have only female charges.

Begrudgingly, the council had allowed him to help girls under stricter laws and he hated their reasons. A shortened time frame, all because they had declared him a ticking time bomb and unnatural. Fred scowled.

"I'm not unnatural," he muttered. "I'm fabulous…"

Jessica's nose whistled, catching his attention.

"You know," he said to his snoring friend, "if you weren't sick we could be having all sorts of fun right now. I was gonna put the Slip 'N Slide on the stairs. We coulda taken turns launching the dead fish your mum has in the fridge down it!" Hopeful, Fred leaned closer and eyed her, but she didn't even stir. "Hmm. Guess all that sick made ya deaf."

Huffing, he sat back, tapping his foot on the floor. He needed a distraction from his solitude. Quiet led to more thinking, which eventually led to how much he missed Lizzie, which definitely led to rash decisions, and pissing her off even more. Honestly, he still couldn't figure out what had made her so mad in the first place.

"Do me a favor when you grow up, Snot-Whistle. When some bloke comes 'round and confesses how he feels about you, don't go off your trolley like a swarm of flying monkeys just flew up and nested in your dress!" His fingers drummed faster against the armrest. "This was never supposed to happen, you know. I almost wasn't an imaginary friend. Maybe Snotface would've been happier that way..." He gripped the armrests and sniffled, the gnawing, empty ache in his chest growing worse.

 _Why can't I ever get her out of my head? Bet she's fast asleep and forgotten all about me, too, that Snotface._

"It's not like I could've told her what I really am on day one. What's she expect? Should I have just shouted it? Said, 'Hey, Snotface, guess what! I'm a sex demon! You're short. Nice to meet you! I-'"

A familiar presence stopped him cold, crawling through him. He shivered, straightening in his seat as the energy tugged at his magic.

"Wait. I know this..." he muttered, looking down at Jessica. "...but it's not you." The bond between him and his current charge allowed him to sense when they needed him, even in dreams. A handy tool for destroying nightmares. "It's human, though… but that doesn't make any sense." The magical pull's urgency grew and Fred's familiarity along with it, but he couldn't pinpoint the source. "But no one else should be able to summon me. It's-"

His eyes widened.

"Snotface?" He gasped. "Oh my god, it's Lizzie!"

He felt her, calling to him from her dream world. She hadn't done that since she was a child having nightmares and in his surprise he couldn't hold back his manic smile. "Bloody hell… I'd forgotten about the link…" He hadn't been able to close it after he'd left, but had never figured out why. "Maybe she's not so pissed after all..."

Renewed hope surged within him and Fred shot to his feet. He couldn't stand still. He had to go to her. She still needed him. This proved it.

 _Maybe I'll just pop in. After all, what can a peek hurt?_

Bouncing on his heels, Fred blinked away and entered Lizzie's dream world. Heart pounding, he found himself inside a dark room. Anticipation flooded him at his chance to learn what Lizzie thought and felt for him, but it did not go as he expected.

A dream version of himself embraced Lizzie in the moment of their goodbye, kissing her like he wanted to swallow her.

Fred's jaw dropped and he stumbled backward, tripping over his own feet. "Oh my g-" His hands clasped over his mouth, muffling his shriek before she heard him scream like a girl.

The vision smiled at Lizzie and traced a gentle finger along her cheek. "I made a mistake, Snotface. I can't leave you. I need you too much, and you still need me," he whispered, bestowing a soft kiss to her lips. "Promise me you'll never stop."

"Is that all it takes to get you to stay? I really need you for something right now." She pressed her lips to his. "This could take awhile," she murmured against his mouth.

"Well, I have forever, which is how long I'm gonna keep you," he said, crushing her against him and claiming her mouth in an earnest kiss.

From the dark, Fred's blue eyes popped out of his skull.

 _Oh my god… Is that how she wants me to talk? She's dreamed me into a bloody girl! And- Wait. We're kissing? Snotface wants to kiss me?_ His body broke into a vortex of emotions. Elation, confusion, embarrassment, jealousy, and the pulse of his awakening desire all fought for dominance, but he was too stunned to move, let alone believe what he saw. Did Lizzie return his feelings? Could he be so fortunate to have her love?

Lizzie's heart pounded. He was going to stay with her forever? His kiss seemed to promise that and more. She let herself become lost in it, kissing him back, trying to show how much she needed him. Her arms pulled him to her tighter, and desperate, she deepened the kiss. Caressing his tongue with hers, she couldn't hold back any longer. She had to know. "Fred, do you need me like I need you?"

Fred bit his hand to stifle the guttural sound that threatened to erupt from him, her words awakening his starved incubi nature. He could nearly feel what it would be like to have her tongue sweeping over his and he thought for a moment that if he dared to breathe that it would come out as a moan and give himself away. He tried to fight it, that incurable ache that wanted all control of him, but the fact that it was Lizzie saying she needed him to a dream version of his own self made him weak. _Oh fuck, I need her_ , he thought. _I really do. So much._

"Yes, Lizzie. I need you. I really do. So much," the vision answered, stroking the curve of her lip with his thumb. His other hand cradled the back of her head, bringing her mouth closer to his.

The real Fred's eyes widened. _Oh hell_ , he thought, realizing what was happening. His powers were acting without him. _I'm influencing the dream_ …

The vision gazed into Lizzie's eyes with so much need that he appeared as though he would drink her in, if only to keep her there forever as a part of him. His mouth waited only a breath apart from hers and he whispered, thick with desire, "Do you need to know how much?"

"Yes," she whispered, hoarsely, staring into his blue eyes with an intense need of her own. Her lips were so close to his it was as though they breathed in each other's breaths.

"I don't know what burns more for you, Lizzie. My heart, my soul…" The vision's mouth curled up as he blushed. "Or my body, Darling."

Fred jerked. _Darling?! Pfft! I would never say that! How can she think I'd ever- Wait._ _If I'm spewing poetry, then I'm not completely controlling this dream yet. This is her doing..._

Relaxing, Fred hoped this gave him enough time to get himself back under control. He didn't want to leave just yet. He knew he should, but he needed to see what Lizzie wanted from him. The sight of them together was too entrancing and tempting to look away. _Maybe just a bit longer…_ he thought, watching Lizzie's fantasy of him kiss and caress her.

The vision continued, speaking between every taste of her mouth, "I wanna spend every waking second with you. To love you every night until you can't keep awake any longer, then wake you every morning with my body until you can't get out of bed. To be the first and the last thing you feel, see, and taste before you dream and after you wake. I want you to be mine, Lizzie. I don't want anyone else. You're everything. I promise I'm gonna stay with you for good this time. I'm done being an imaginary friend. I wanna be more for you; I wanna be human. Just say the magic words and I'll give this all up for you and be mortal."

Drop Dead Fred's growing lust took a sharp dive and his heart wrenched with betrayal. _Mortal? Human?!_ She wanted him human? Was that the only way she could accept him? _No… Not my Snotface. She wouldn't... Right?_ Shaking, he wrapped his arms around himself, holding his breath. He needed her answer.

Closing her eyes, Lizzie reveled in the sensation of his mouth tasting hers. His words only added to the ecstasy she felt. It was pure bliss and she didn't want it to end. "Fred," she whispered, her voice tinged with desire. "I want you. Love me. Stay with me. Be mine always." She opened her eyes, staring into his. "Make me yours."

Fred crashed to his knees in the shadows behind Lizzie. _Oh god no_ , he thought, his eyes shutting and his breath going shallow. Whether his dream self did anything before him now, he didn't hear, all he heard was the rush of his pulse and the blood in his ears. _Why did she have to say that?_ Her need beckoned and teased him. She had given him permission, dream self or not. The ravenous desire inside him wanted to comply- it wanted to comply right now.

 _No, no, no. You can't do this. Don't touch her, ya bastard. You promised. Stop it!_

Wincing, Fred fought against the pull, fingers curling over the ground, but his very skin prickled with want. A deep ache started in his soul and spread to his groin, throbbing, and sending him into a state where he just wanted more of the feeling. He wanted Lizzie so much, he could sense her in the air around him, needing him. She called to his soul and it overwhelmed and frayed his resolve.

 _Leave. Oh god, leave now!_

"I need you so much, Fred. Make love to me," said Lizzie.

Before he could stop it, his essence reached out and washed over hers in an ethereal caress that made them both shudder together, and he gasped as his spirit touched hers for the first time. The connection was instantly addicting and his energy coated hers, pulling at the lust radiating off Lizzie and drinking it in- her lust for _him._ It was like taking a breath of air after holding it his entire life and he needed more. _Fuck, she's the most delicious thing I've ever tasted…_

Lizzie gasped against the vision's mouth as pleasure washed over her. Her body flooded with desire, desperate for release. Grinding her hips against his, she kissed him again, thrusting her tongue into his mouth, tasting him, trying to swallow his desire. She wanted his body against hers, skin against skin, his hardness filling her until they both cried out in ecstasy.

Breathless, she leaned back, looking into the vision's eyes. Their chests rose and fell in unison as they struggled to catch their breath. "You're pretty good at this. Are you sure you're a virgin?" She smiled as she snaked a hand down his waist and brushed the bulge in his pants.

"Not for much longer," said the vision, smirking.

"Oh... fucking... hell!" Fred gasped from the shadows, watching Lizzie tease over the vision's very noticeable erection. _I want her. It's just not fair!_ His breath turned ragged and his body shook. He throbbed for her inside his trousers and brushed his hand over the ache. Fred gasped at finding himself fully erect and a shiver of pleasure pulsated through his cock at the contact.

 _Oh, shit... That feels way too good…_ His eyes rolled back and he sat up on his knees, craving more. Rubbing himself, Fred moaned from the titillating tremor coursing through his groin. His trousers felt so tight and unbearable. He'd never wanted to not be a virgin anymore so much in all his life.

Lizzie and the vision's mouths crashed together, their lust rising and their breath one. They kissed, consumed by endless passion, hands exploring each other's bodies. Lizzie bit the vision's lip as he squeezed her ass. She moaned into his mouth and pressed herself against his hardness. "Let's take care of this virgin situation," she breathed.

 _Yes, yes. Oh fuck, please_ , thought Fred, consumed by his incubi nature, the vision repeating every word and grinding against Lizzie. Fred's eyes widened and he groaned. He'd never been so hard and he burned to please her, to make her feel everything she ever wanted. He didn't think he could live if he didn't have her and he squeezed his cock, imagining that her hand held him instead. A tantalizing ache tightened his balls and made him shudder. _Oh, I'd give anything to whisper in her ear what she's doing to me…_

"Do you know what you do me?"

Fred's attention snapped to the vision, watching as he dragged his lips along Lizzie's cheek all the way to her earlobe.

"It's not fair to be so close to you, so connected and not inside you. I'd love to know what it's like..." Gently, he sucked her earlobe, bringing a soft moan from her that made the real Fred's cock twitch.

He could feel her; every ache, every desire, her very desperation to be with him coursing through him like it was his own. "Oh fuck, lemme feel what it's like!" Fred gasped and weaved his desire through her essence to bring her to the same height of arousal as himself. They moaned as one and Fred fumbled to undo his pants. He needed release and he needed one with Lizzie.

Reaching in, his cock throbbed intensely as his fingers met with bare skin. His breath hitched and his magic shared the sensation of what he felt with Lizzie. Gripping his shaft, Fred's eyes rolled back and he moaned from the pleasurous jolt that already had him on edge.

Head thrown back, eyes closed, Lizzie moaned again as the vision tasted her skin, his warm breath caressing her body. Her need was like a caged animal and it wanted out. She shuddered as a wave of pleasure washed over her, so intense, that her body responded, growing wet in readiness. Opening her eyes, she looked into the vision's blue ones and her breath caught.

His eyes had changed, darkened and showing a thin ring of blue around his pupils that mirrored her own desire.

"Your eyes," she murmured. "They're so intense." Another wave of pleasure overtook her, nearly bringing her to her knees. "I need you. Now." She grabbed the top of his pants, pulling him closer and unbuttoning them, desperate to feel his desire in her grasp. She slipped her hands in and closed them around his hardness. Lizzie gasped in relief, squeezing and stroking him.

From the shadows, Fred moaned. He felt her, her hands around him like a tantalizing phantom, and his eyes opened, darkened just as in her dream. His last shred of sanity snapped from somehow feeling everything he watched Lizzie doing to his dream self. Each stroke made him shudder and he squeezed himself harder. "How's this happening?" he cried, moaning after another blissful caress. "Bloody hell don't stop…"

Lizzie grinned, savoring how the vision groaned at her touch and she stroked him again. "Touch me. I want you to feel me as I'm feeling you."

"I thought you'd never ask!" Fred and the vision said together.

Smirking, Fred connected his magic with Lizzie's center, swirling it around her entrance and teasing into her core. His eyes fluttered and he released a long moan, instantly needing more. "I'm always here to help, Snotface." He growled as the vision copied everything he now said, spurring Fred's animalistic nature even further. Closing his eyes, Fred willed the vision to lift Lizzie's skirt and slip his fingers beneath her pantyline for him.

The vision did as asked, and Lizzie was rewarded with a sweet, agonizing sensation that made her ache. Her gasp turned into a moan as the vision growled and lifted her skirt, slowly teasing her with his fingertips. She thrusted her hips forward, desperate for more of his touch. Lizzie stroked his cock again and rubbed her aching center against his fingers. "I'm so close, Fred. Are you close?"

"Yes!" Fred winced, agonized that he couldn't feel Lizzie on his fingers for real, but he was too overcome to move. He wanted all of her, he wanted to make her feel what no one had. His body trembled, his breath turned to gasps, and he madly pumped himself into his hand. The vision mimicked him, thrusting into Lizzie's grasp and making Fred's cock throb with jealous need. "Please," he cried to her, the tension in his groin begging for release. "I need you… with me… Together… Will you cum with me?"

Lizzie shivered, breathing harder, the tension building within her as they teased and tortured each other. "I thought you'd never ask," she said, giving him a teasing smile. "I'll race you." She stroked him faster.

Fred's playful smirk flashed at her remark, the vision following him in sync.

"Catch me if you can," they answered.

Fred's magic caressed Lizzie's body, filling her with the insatiable lust that he held for her. He needed to see the look of pleasure on her face when she came for him, to feel what he'd made her feel. The anticipation left him manic with desire as he listened to Lizzie's unbridled cries.

"Yes! Just like that! Don't stop!" She panted, the tension in her core feeling like it would snap at any moment. Each sensation overwhelmed her, but she reveled in all of them. It was pure pleasure and she didn't want it to stop. He slipped two fingers inside her folds and she felt herself tighten around him. "Fred!" She moaned, shuddering as he teased her sensitive flesh. "Please…"

Greedily he pulled at her lust, wanting to take every bit into himself until she was a part of him. His cock pulsed in his grasp, his breath desperate and loud. "I'm so-" He shuddered, moaning as he neared the edge. "Liz- Oh, Lizzie- You're gonna make me cum!"

Fred crashed forward, bracing himself with one hand as his orgasm surged through him. Body arched, he shuddered, thrusting into his hand with voracious need and spilling onto the floor. He moaned, but it strangled in his throat, dying out in a labored breath.

As the vision moaned and came in her hands, Lizzie thrusted her hips and came, crying out as the orgasm made her body shudder, leaving her awash in euphoria. Her desire, still present and unsated, swelled and she pumped his hard cock while he worked her center with his fingers. She gasped, wishing he was inside her, hard and ready to take her. Panting, they teased each other into a fervor, erupting into another climax together.

Their shared orgasm sent tremors through Fred's body and he gasped, feeling her craving to have him inside her. "Oh fuck," he said through clenched teeth. Imagining what Lizzie might feel like made him shudder in anticipation, a shiver pulsing through his cock. His body shook with need. "Oh yes…" he murmured. His right arm gave out and he rolled onto his back, arching as he thrusted into his hand. Pumping his cock, he closed his eyes, seeing Lizzie's face in his mind. He imagined again what it would be like to be inside her and came, digging his heels against the ground. His warm seed dripping down his shaft fueled the fantasy and he growled.

The vision growled in Lizzie's ear, making her moan. He teased her sensitive flesh and she cried out, her juices flowing onto his hand. She moved her hips in quick rhythm to take his fingers deeper, her breath coming out in ragged gasps. "Don't stop, Fred," she managed to say between breaths.

Lizzie's desires consumed Fred, bringing him to an ecstasy he had never known existed. His clothes rippled with a green glow of energy that bled to black, consuming the color between every wave of lust. Bucking his hips, Fred let out several short, loud cries of pleasure.

"Oh god!" Lizzie gave one last thrust of her hips and ground herself against the vision as her orgasm kept pulsing through her center. "You have magic fingers." Letting out a shaky breath, she moaned again as the last of her climax shuddered through her. "That was amazing," she said, breathless. Her body now lax with pleasure, she smiled at him.

"Oh, Fred, you're- That was-" She sighed. "I've never had that many- Ya know." She blushed. "I think I need to feel that again."

"I… Fuck, Snotface, me too!" said Fred from the shadows. Panting, he watched Lizzie, astounded by what they'd shared and memorized every sound, every detail about this moment. He never dreamed it could be like this between them, that she could need him this much. Chills ran over his skin. He still felt her essence inside him, their connection stronger than ever, and he loved every drop. "Although, I think I'd like to feel you a bit more up close next time…" he added, his dream self parroting everything he said, and mimicking his playful grin. "Still got this virgin thing, you know."

"If being up close is half as good as that was, I say why wait?" She smiled up into his eyes, gently stroking him again. "You're still ready to go. That's pretty impressive."

Sensing Lizzie's stroke along his shaft, Fred jerked, looking down at his still hard cock. However, his smile vanished and he fell from his high at what he noticed.

Half of his jacket had changed to black.

"Oh shit…"

The vision moaned into Lizzie's open mouth, his hands sweeping along her back and pressing her to him. She gently biting his lip, caressing his tongue, tasting and devouring him as much as he devoured her. Her hands slid out of his pants, moving around him and grabbing his ass. She groaned aloud, breathless as he continued to kiss her.

"Oh god, Fred," she breathed into his mouth. She tilted her head back, allowing him access to her neck. The vision complied, kissing her jaw, her neck, and working his way down. She held onto his waist, using him to support her weight. "Don't stop."

Fred's attention snapped back to Lizzie and his breath seized. "Oh no, what've I done?" he whispered, yanking his hand away from his cock like he'd been bitten. Fred again noticed his blackened jacket and his heart pounded. "Fuck, what've I done?!" he cried, guilt sinking into his gut. _I broke my promise and now something's wrong with my suit._ Dread consumed him and a terrible thought entered his mind.

Lifting his hand, Fred ignited his magic in his palm. His eyes widened. "Fucksake..." Black smoke tinged the normal, green glow of his powers just as he'd feared.

"Touch me," Lizzie moaned, eyes closed.

Fred's fears and regret faded as his need for her reignited under her command. She was the most tempting, most beautiful woman he'd ever encountered and it tortured him that he wasn't making love to her, tasting all of her. He hated himself for it, especially after what he'd done. "Oh god, I'm so sorry, Snotface." His voice broke.

Before him, his dream self nibbled at Lizzie's neck, sucking and licking her skin and the real Fred couldn't stop his powers from taking another hit off her desires. From the corner of his eye he watched the color drain from his right pant leg, turning it black. His jaw dropped, panic rising inside him. He had to stop this before it was too late, but another moan from Lizzie forced his sights back on the dream.

"I want you. I need you inside me," said Lizzie, her body slack as his figment slid his hands up her shirt, caressing her breasts.

Several of the stripes on Fred's trousers went black and he writhed, clutching his head. His breathing turned erratic and it took everything he had not to fully invade the dream, not to take over and have his hands on Lizzie's body instead. He wanted to fully make her his, just like she asked, he craved her to the point of madness, and he bit his lip to push down the groan that tried to claw its way out of him.

Opening her eyes, Lizzie straightened in the vision's arms and moved her hands to his jacket. Looking in his eyes, she undid the buttons, smiling as she ran her hands up his chest. "When did you get a new suit?"

Jumping, Fred looked down, watching Lizzie peel open the front of his jacket. "When did I get here?" he asked, gasping as he realized his hand now squeezed her breast in place of his dream self. He'd taken over the dream.

"Oh no. I've gotta go. Now." He pushed her back, panic flooding him. "I shouldn't have- I'm sorry! I love you! I-" He couldn't finish his sentence, feeling himself break and give into his nature.

Gathering his last shred of willpower, Fred magicked himself from the dream, putting enough distance between him and Lizzie to sever the connection before he did something they would later regret.

Gasping, Lizzie woke, eyes looking around her darkened room. "I- What the hell?" She sat up, patting herself down. "What the fuck was that?"


	3. Chapter 3: The Incubus' New Clothes

**Authors' Notes :**

 **zombierose3 :** I have no regrets and you're welcome. ;)

 **unleashthewords :** This is my version of therapy. Mwahaha! Fred needs some tough love.

 **** Disclaimers:** We don't own Drop Dead Fred, and we're not making a single profit from this work. Shea and Gabriel belong to unleashthewords (She's still amused by that).

* * *

 **"Lilin" is a term for both succubi and incubi spirits (AKA, night spirits). We're using the word to describe their people as a whole.**

* * *

 **Chapter Three**

 _The Incubus' New Clothes_

* * *

Hours later, Fred returned to his world, to Lullabi, completely wrecked. He kept his head down, hurrying past anyone he saw. As always, he heard the whispers about him, felt the stares, but tonight they barely registered next to what he'd just done. He felt like the worst person in existence, a demon, and it terrified him. How could he let himself lose control with the person he loved the most? The more he thought about it, the sicker he felt and everywhere he turned he felt like everyone knew. Worst of all, now Lizzie knew, and their heightened connection had him half-mad.

He swore he sensed her through every part of himself. She was in his head, his body, his soul, even his magic. If he turned around, he half-expected to find her behind him. His steps quickened as if he could outrun the feeling. Why wouldn't it go away? He'd never experienced anything like this before. Was it permanent? His heart pounded at the possibility, scared what it meant for Lizzie.

 _What if I hurt her next time? Shit, what if I already did?_

Racing through the darkened streets, everything blurred around him and he didn't stop until arriving at a familiar neighborhood. Shea lived at the end of a long row of buildings. The tall, dark structures dominated the street and looked severe. All lines and sharp edges, made them look more like dungeons than dwellings. The many windows did nothing to change the unwelcoming atmosphere and the few that weren't curtained only let a small amount of light shine onto the black street. Glancing into one of the windows he could see into, Fred regretted it when he saw two individuals in the act of sex. The scream died in his throat as he hurried over to the last door, keeping his gaze firmly fixed to the safety of Shea's home.

"This is why I don't come home," he said, taking the steps two at a time. Fred ran his hands over the sleeves of his jacket, which had thankfully returned to its vibrant display of colors. "I can't believe I'm doing this," he muttered, scowling at the bronzed door knocker of a woman in the throes of ecstasy. A memory of Lizzie in that state, head thrown back and moaning flashed in his mind and Fred gasped. "Ah, come on!" he cried, stumbling back and pulling his hair. A residual wave of Lizzie's desires rolled through him like a siren's song, making him shudder. "Snotface... bloody hell already, piss off!"

Gritting his teeth, Fred struggled to steady his breathing and remember why he came here. The libidinous energy inside him slowly waned and his focus returned. He lifted his hand, hesitating to knock. "Never believed it'd come to this..." he whispered. Grimacing, he rapped on the door, staring up at the eternally night sky. "Oh, she's just gonna love this one..."

"Come," a soft, feminine voice replied.

Opening the door, Fred peeked inside at his one hope. "Guess who."

"Well, look what the imaginary cat dragged in," the woman said from her place on a purple couch. She lounged on her stomach, her bare feet playing with a pillow. She was small, but possessed generous curves. Her dark hair covered most of her back, but what could be seen of her body showed bare, tan skin.

"Hi, Sis." He smiled, sheepishly, and entered, the door swinging shut behind him. Fred slouched, shoving his hands in his pockets. "Thought I'd drop by. It's only been, what? About twenty-five years?"

Sitting up, her hair fell in waves around her, revealing large breasts. She smiled with green, feline-like eyes, lined in black, looking genuinely amused. "What a lovely surprise. You look like hell." She sat back and crossed her arms under her breasts, drumming her fingers on her arms. Feeling the lust still boiling inside him, both surprised and worried her. He had never shown up in her home feeling like a hormonal teenager. He would be mortified if he realized she could tell he was exuding lust like an over-perfumed prostitute.

"I feel like hell, and- Ugh! God, Shea!" He recoiled and shielded his eyes. "Do you ever wear clothes? I'm your brother, ya know! I shouldn't know the look of your dangly lumps as well as your face!" he cried, gagging. He really hated coming home. Lullabi was a nudist realm, making him stick out like a sore and green thumb.

The drumming increased as Shea sighed. This was the usual ritual they went through when he bothered to come for a visit. She supposed she could wear clothes, but it was more fun to see him so at odds with his nature. Lilin embraced their sexuality and nudity, and were open about all things related to sex and desire. Her brother was a very rare breed, and while the rest of the family teased and bemoaned such a family member, Shea looked after her baby brother, mostly.

Shea stood, smiling sweetly. "I believe the word you want is 'breasts,' Baby Brother. You're like an obnoxious, innocent, little, green cherub. Your love of clothes is so refreshing for a male, and an incubus," she mused as she closed the distance between them. Gently, she patted his cheek. "I do so adore your visits, when you make them that is." She looked at him closely, squeezing his face in her hand. "You seem... unsatisfied and more agitated than usual. What have you been doing?" She paused and crossed her arms. "Spill, Lorcan."

Fred turned his face from her and scowled. "You know I hate to be called that anymore," he said, watching the floor. The blush on his cheeks felt unbearable. After centuries of advancement, couldn't his people adopt clothes? Fred nervously tapped his fingers against his thighs. "Agitated is right," he said, "but would you _please_ put something on?"

Shea rolled her eyes. "It's your damn name, and clearly I can see you're agitated! A blind man could. Why are you stalling?" She sighed when he chose to stare at the ceiling and ignore her. "If I put something on will you speak to me instead of whining?"

"Wha-" Fred looked down, accidentally getting an eyeful of his sister's breasts. "Shea!" His eyes popped out of his head like a cartoon and snapped back into place. The force knocked him into the door. "Ah, great! Now I'm gonna be blind!" he cried, covering his eyes. Fred groaned. "This is the worst day of my life! My eyeballs are jumpin' outta my skull, your girlie bits are everywhere, and you won't even call me by my good name. You know this is why I don't come home!"

"I forgot how much of a drama queen you are," she said, unmoved by his display. "Your good name is the one our parents gave you, and you don't come home because you don't want to run into our brothers, or Father." She waved her arm across her body and a long, black column of smoke appeared and wrapped around her body transforming into a slinky dress. "Now that your virgin eyes will be spared... Why are you back and acting like such a bratty, little prude?"

Sensing the magical shift in the air, Fred peeked through his fingers and breathed a sigh of relief that Shea had dressed. It didn't stop him, however, from sticking out his tongue like a giant child. "Yeah, well they don't wanna see me either, so it works out alright," he said. His demeanor shifted in a blink and he slouched, shoving his hands into his pants pockets. "Maybe I missed you, though," he mumbled, shrugging.

Shea rubbed her temples. Same thing as always. Her brother pretended no one wanted to see him, but he kept himself away. He hadn't spoken to their father in a century and a half. Their last chat had turned into a screaming match and Fred had sworn to never speak to their father again. "You know, I would be moved if I didn't think that was total bullshit. Father isn't speaking to you, but Mother would love for you to come home more."

Fred winced and tapped his foot, guilty at the mention of their mother. After his father had disowned him, he'd never been able to face her. Her favorite had no doubt become the disappointment and just imagining the look on her face had been too much for him. The last time he'd seen her, he'd been fifteen; two hundred and ninety years ago. He wondered what she'd think of him now if she knew what he'd done. _Probably disown me, too._

"You could even come see me, but you don't," added Shea, pacing. She wasn't in the mood for games, especially after the news she had received only minutes earlier. "I love you, but this martyr act is wearing thin. When will you stop hiding from your family? Why are you here, Lorcan?"

He straightened, knowing he couldn't put anything past her. Like all others of their kind, they could read each other and right now he hated it more than usual. "You always were good at seeing right through me. Kinda makes things difficult... for me, you know," he added with a weak smile. "But you're wrong... I did miss you." The admittance left him uncomfortable and he decided it best to just dive right into the real mess before he felt even more like a sop. _But no harm in one last bit of fun before the shit hits the fan, I suppose._ He raised his finger and smiled.

"And before I answer that other question-" Picking his nose, Fred wiped a piece of snot on her cheek and sniggered. Shea gasped in horror. "There. _Much_ better!"

"You know I hate that!" she shouted. "Do it again and the clothes come off, yours included!" Grabbing his arm, she used his sleeve to wipe her face. "So gross. I wish you'd grow up. You're three hundred years old for fuck's sake!" She made a face at him.

"Three hundred and five," he corrected, sticking out his tongue.

"Like those five years give you maturity." She rolled her eyes. "You're lucky I like you, or you'd be on the floor right now." She took a seat on the couch. "Now, care to explain yourself, or will you be eating something off the floor next?"

Laughing, Fred plopped down beside her. "Like I'd eat anything off this floor. I've a pretty good idea what's been trampled, pecked, and stamped on it," he said, eyeing the rug. His mood soured. "Alright." He sighed and looked Shea in the eyes. "I need your help... I've got a bit of a problem."

"I know. You'd weep if you knew what happens in this room, on this couch, on the bed..." She grinned at him. "Basically a lot of sex happens." Shea laughed at her brother's horrified face. "You're priceless." She shook her head and waved a hand at him. "And clearly, you have a problem, besides that horrid suit, or you wouldn't be here. So, what's going on? Did you forget where you parked your imaginary car?"

"Ha, ha." He sneered. "You know that only happened once and I was new and lost my imaginary keys. Look, I'm trying to be serious for once, Scheherazade. I've-"

Fred groaned and slumped back on the sofa, holding his face. "I didn't come to you for imaginary problems. I'm here about... adult-like ones," he muttered behind his hands. He didn't know if he could stand seeing her at the same time she heard his news. "You're the only one I could bear to talk to about it, and if I tell you, you've gotta swear you'll never, ever, ever tell anyone else!"

"Well, color me intrigued. It seems you have grown up. Slightly." She stared at him even though he couldn't see her and sighed when he wouldn't budge. "Move your hands," she said, pushing at his arms. "I'm not going to pinky promise. You should trust me because I'm your sister."

Relenting, Fred lowered his hands and looked at her, a pout on his face. "Of course I trust you. It's why I came to you over anyone else..." He looked down at his lap, taking in the colors on his suit and remembering what had happened. "There's this... human. Lizzie. A real snotface. I use to be her imaginary friend. She grew up, though, but her life fell apart, and I got pulled back by some fluke. I wasn't supposed to stay, but I did, and I helped her again anyways. It's sorta created a bit of a mess."

Shea kept her face blank. "Alright, that's not unusual for you. You love mess. Where exactly is the problem?"

Fred wrang his hands together and met Shea's eyes. "It's a problem because I... I fell in love with her and it's causing my nature to go... _insane_." He cringed.

The smile on her face instantly turned into a grimace. "Oh shit, Lorcan." She groaned. "What would possess you to go around a mortal when your feelings are all over the place? This story doesn't end well, does it?" She clenched her fists so she wouldn't drum her fingers, or strangle him.

Fred laughed, anxiously. "See, you always did see right through me." He gulped, his smile dying. "Um, no. It bloody doesn't. I'd tried to leave her six months back when the job was done, but I just couldn't go on without her anymore. Every day it just... hurt, so I... went and told her tonight."

Shea growled and covered her face with her hands. "Lorcan, please say that's the worst part," she muttered, looking at him again. "I don't think I can take much more of this. What happened? Please just say it."

"Okay. Short version. She needed time to think. I left, then somehow, I don't fucking know how this happened, she called me to her dream. I got curious and thought maybe it'd give me a peek at what she feels for me, so I went in." Fred fidgeted, squirming in his seat, his face red. He took a deep breath. "I... I lost control, Shea... and my magic touched and fed off her- We, we didn't have sex, though! I left before that! Barely." He whispered the last word and cringed. "We, um, did have several orgasms first, though..." He turned his gaze from Shea, wishing to he could bury himself.

Mouth open in shock, Shea could only stare at her brother. This was completely unlike him. If she hadn't heard it from him and seen his face, she would have thought it all an elaborate joke. Panic set it.

"Shit! Shit! Shit!" She leapt to her feet and paced wildly. "Damn it, Lorcan! Of all the idiotic- You have fucked things royally this time, and that includes stealing a suit from the fucking leprechauns!" She whirled at him, running her hands through her hair. "Damn it, Gabe said it was bad, but I was hoping it was stupid gossip. This is going to be all anyone will talk about." She resumed pacing. "Don't panic, Shea, you can fix this. Use your fabulous brain and think of something."

"Gabe? Wha-? He knows? How does he kn- Hold it! You heard something? You knew this whole time and you just let me go on and embarrass myself like, like- Oh fucking hell!" he cried, grabbing his face. Growling, he hopped to his feet and followed next to Shea. "Does everyone know? Everyone doesn't already know, do they? How much is out? I mean- Oh fuck, I have to leave! Dad's gonna find out, and he'll find a way to kill me! And then he'll bring me back and do it all over again! I- I can't stay here! Everyone's probably out there gossiping about how Lorcan, the Virgin Shame nearly popped his cherry and, and- Fucking piss!" Fred started hyperventilating and snatched hold of Shea's arm. "What am I gonna do?"

Shea was having a hard enough time keeping herself from going into full panic mode. The last thing she needed was her brother flipping out. He didn't even seem to realize the true seriousness of the situation. Grabbing him by the shoulders, Shea gave him a hard shake. "Lorcan! Shut up! I can't think with you hollering in my ear! Your embarrassment is the least of your worries! We have bigger problems!" She looked him up and down, taking in his clothing. "That is just one of them." She stared him in the eyes. "Strip!"

"The hell?" Fred batted her hands away and jumped back like he'd been shocked. "Piss off! You'll get this suit over my dead body! It and I have been through enough tonight. This is the one thing keeping me together! I nearly lost it alre-" He clamped his mouth shut before saying anymore, but his eyes widened at the mistake. _Uh oh._

A strangled scream escaped from her. "Stop being such a fucking prude and listen to me! This suit isn't helping you! If they find you wearing it you're gonna be in even more trouble! It's not keeping you together, it's stopping you from being who you are." She looked it over and then watched his face. He wouldn't look her in the eyes. "You almost broke it, didn't you?" she asked. "Your damn libido got out of control and almost broke this nasty, green Band-Aid of yours." She grinned at him, but it wasn't friendly. It was feral. "I think you better say goodbye to your suit."

Terror pulsed through him, but he lifted his chin. If he didn't blink she had to believe him and back off. "I didn't nearly break it! My suit's working great, actually! Strong as ever." He knocked on his chest for emphasis. "Unbreakable, even!" He backed up, stumbling, and bumping into the side table. "And you're confused because it does let me be who I really am! I wanna be more than some demon sex fiend. This suit helps me. It makes me closer to being human. Besides," he said, pointing at her, "you know you can't take my suit. You've all tried before and it doesn't come off unless I take it off. So, ha!" That smile did not leave her face and Fred's heart raged like thunder. _Why does she look creepier than those dolls Jessica plays with?_

Shea eyed him from head to toe, ignoring his rambling. The suit had to go and thanks to his big mouth she knew how to do it at last. She flashed that same predatory smile as she walked toward him like a jungle cat. "If you aren't going to listen to me, then I'm happy to do things the hard way." She snapped her fingers and her magic flowed out, grabbing him in an invisible fist.

"Ah! Shea, really!" Fred grunted, trying to wriggle out of her magical death grip. "We can talk about this. Just... just calm down!"

"First," she said, "we're not demons, so stop being an asshole about it. Second, you're not a human and you never will be. Third, this nasty thing goes, and last, I get to see exactly what you've been doing."

"That, that's not necessary!" He laughed. "Alright, yes I screwed up a lot tonight, but I handled it. I've spent the last hour-and-a-half in a red light district taking scraps off ten couples and some pervert in a disgusting, seedy motel, wanking myself blind until I got my head back! So, I'm all better now, satisfied, and lesson learned. Just- How 'bout you set me down and we have a nice cuppa and a laugh?" He smiled, but his fear broke through. He'd never seen that look in anyone's eyes, not even from Lizzie's mom. "Sis? Sis, come on."

"I'm not Mother. You're not going to sweet talk me out of anything." She paused and looked over her shoulder. "Shit. We don't have much time," she said, turning back to him. "I would say I'm sorry, but it would be insincere." Pursing her lips, she let her magic flow toward Fred and caress him, connecting with his mind. "Well, she had you in quite a state, didn't she?" Shea shivered and closed her eyes, tapping into his lust and memories, searching for what he had done with Lizzie. "Looking into a girl's fantasies, Lorcan? Shameful."

"Get out of my head!" He gasped, writhing and fighting to expel her magic. He knew what she was doing, but he couldn't stop her, he didn't have enough control of his powers and Shea had several hundred years on him. "Isn't what you're doing even more shameful? Let me go!" She couldn't take his suit. He had to escape.

"Your idiotic head is what got you here in the first place!" Eyes still closed, she delved further into his encounter with Lizzie. "Well, well, you do have it bad for this Lizzie of yours." Shea opened her eyes and grinned at him. "I'm a succubus. I don't have any shame. She's quite a lovely woman. I'm surprised you have such good taste."

"Shut up! I've got eyes!" Fred growled and kicked. Shea's magic felt like bugs skittering around inside his brain and it took everything he had not to scream. He knew she could see inside his mind without the added effect, which pissed him off even more. "Obviously you don't know much about me. God, that hurts! What the hell do you need to see any of this for? Don't you have enough perverts to peek at?"

"I know more about you than you seem to! Who's the one who scurried to my door with his tail between his legs? You're the one who's messed things up. I actually have a life! I have a lover, and friends, and our parents speak to me without blowing a gasket!" She took a deep breath and pushed her magic harder, tapping into his memories of his confession to Lizzie. She blanched. "You- You showed up at her door dressed in a sheet?"

Closing her eyes, Shea shook her head. "I shouldn't be surprised and yet I am." She looked back at him and glared into his angry eyes. "What else did do you?" Images filled Shea's mind, running at fast forward so she saw and heard everything within seconds. It ended in a flash, leaving her stunned.

She opened her mouth to speak, but no sound came out. Taking a deep breath she tried again. "Lorcan, what possessed you to scare the shit out of Lizzie and then confess your feelings? Did you lose a bet? Were you under the influence of drugs? Were you just wanting to make things more difficult for yourself?" She paced the room. "This is what you give me to work with? No wonder she's upset! I'm upset and I'm just your sister!"

"Yes, well you're always upset," he said, unable to help himself, but some relief washed over him. At least she still admitted she was his sister. "All I did was finally tell her the truth. How am I the bad guy here? I thought it'd get a laugh if I dressed up. Break the ice after so long. It's bloody Halloween for fuck's sake! I can't participate in a holiday? But I came here for help, not for a mind probe! This is why I don't come home!"

"If I'm upset it's because you tell me about the stupid stuff you do! When Father gets ahold of you- Well, it's going to be carnage!" She stopped pacing and took a deep breath. "I need to be calm. I need to set aside that you are useless in this area and figure out what to do." Turning back to Fred, Shea concentrated on the dream he had entered and blinked at him in surprise. "Well, that did escalate quickly. Maybe you aren't a complete lost cause after all."

Watching the rest of the dream unfold, Shea fed off the lust and used it to fuel her magic. She touched that part of him that lusted after Lizzie and prodded it with her powers. His desire rippled and grew, making Shea smile. "Let's turn up the heat, shall we?" The room buzzed as though electricity flowed through the air and with a flick of her wrist, Shea's power slammed into his body.

His starved nature drank every drop and he shuddered hard. Lizzie's stolen desires swirled inside him, rising into a shockwave of euphoria. Fred shook, aching and craving Lizzie more than his own existence. Her essence possessed him, filling his every sense and he struggled to hold onto himself.

"Are you... actually admitting I can do something right?" he asked. The sensation lulled, but waited, vibrating inside him, and Fred realized Shea only toyed with him. If she wanted, she could make him snap and give into his lust for Lizzie. He had to stop her before she broke his suit.

 _This is exactly why I don't wanna be what I am. Why couldn't I just be human?_ he thought, but noticed how her powers fed his own. Pushing back with all his strength, Fred launched his magic at Shea. A swirl of black smoke crashed into her, weakening her magical hold on him and freeing his hands.

She paused, surprised that he had lashed out and was able to free his hands. His magic was like a breeze blowing against her, but his thoughts were like a punch to her gut. She would have preferred him hitting her with the full force of his magic than to hear those thoughts that told her what he really felt. "You're not human! You're an incubus! You're-" Her voice broke. "You're my brother. You'll always be my brother, and whether you realize it or not, I'm trying to help you." She promised herself she would get through to him, even if it meant he would hate her for it. He fought his lust and the hunger, but she knew how to fight harder...

"But you're not helping me!" he cried. "You're trying to take the only thing I have! I can't be with her without this suit!"

"Typical, ungrateful brat. You don't need that ugly, useless, green horror!" She growled at him, her anger rising. "It's stopping you from being who you are, what you are! You hate being lilin, but deep down you enjoy it, and you hate that, too. Did your damn suit stop you from lusting after her? No! It's not fixing anything! It's making it worse!"

"It is not! It's not the problem! My nature's the reason I'm in this mess and I need this suit to bury it!"

"Do you hear yourself? You're trying to stop being who you are and you think magic can fix that." She shook her head. "I just thought you weren't ready for sex, and I was okay with that, but you just don't want to be who were made to be. How can I make you understand what you are is good?"

"Because it can't be good! Everything we do is-" Fred tore his gaze from Shea. How could he explain it? His fists tightened, but he managed to look Shea in the eyes. "I don't want Lizzie thinking of me as just an incubus," he said, his voice suddenly calm. "I want her to see me as more than that. How else is she gonna know I really love her? I don't want her scared of what I might do, or think I just want a snack! I wanna be myself and be able to love her, not lust her! Isn't that what happens when it all gets going? I still feel-" His voice broke, his expression quivering with emotion. "I feel all of it still and it's just... She's everywhere and it won't let go!"

"Lorcan, you're in love with her and this only makes your desire even more potent. You're an emotional mess, and you're amped up on lust. Add that you're a stubborn ass and we have a recipe for disaster." She sighed. "You never listened in school and you never listened to our parents, or me! We tried to explain it all to you, but you were too busy averting your virgin eyes to listen. This is your damn mess. Yours! This is what happens when you play with fire!" She sent more power through their connection, magnifying his lust and feeding off it at the same time.

"I'm not emotional!" Fred tore his gaze from her, fighting against surrendering, but he could not ignore the beat of pleasure that her magic had set upon him. The faint whisper of Lizzie's utterance from her dream entered his mind, ' _I need you. Now. Touch me.'_ His fingers dug against his thighs and pulled at the fabric of his trousers. _Oh, fuck me. Not now,_ he pleaded. The material suddenly felt stifling and irritated his skin, but he refused to move or show her any sign how affected he'd become. He would not like it, and she couldn't make him.

"Have you been away so long that you've forgotten what an eight-hundred-year-old succubus can do?" She hit him with another dose of her magic, making him writhe. "You love humans, but they are full of lust, too. If they could do what we do, they would do it in a heartbeat, and they would _not_ follow rules." Her voice lost that throaty growl and she was just angry now, turning that pleasure she sent out into pain.

Fred cried out, doubling over. "I hate you!" He hissed through clenched teeth. Her magic heated inside his body, sending a million pinpricks all throughout his being.

"Good, because it's turning into a mutual feeling right now," she said through gritted teeth. "Since I have your attention, you can writhe in agony and listen. Our people are an important part of the universe. We are here because that is the way things work in order for your precious humans to function. We feed off their desires, their lusts, and they go on their merry ways, a little more satisfied and none the wiser. We try our best to temper them, to keep their carnal desires from turning into another Troy. That was a fucking disaster. A whole fucking war because one damn succubus couldn't control the raging libido of one man and he had to go seduce someone else's wife and steal her away! It turned into a bloodbath!" She paced in front of him.

"It took all of Lullabi to calm that situation down, but it was too little, too late. You think continuing to ignore your lust is going to solve the problem? No, it's not. It's turned into a huge fucking problem and someone has to pay! Do you want that to happen to your precious, mortal girlfriend?" Shea shouted at him, but she didn't care.

Growling, Fred struggled not to collapse. It felt like his insides were on fire. "Of... of course not!" he ground out. "Will ya llllet go of me? Fuck!"

"I'm not finished! You've run from who you are for too long! You want to deny your true self because you're ashamed of it? Ashamed of your own family? You want to play house with a mortal and pretend you can be something you're not?" She glared at him, a hint of the hurt in her eyes. Her voice grew louder and she prowled like a caged animal, angrier than she had ever been. "Wake up! If you don't listen to me, you'll never see her again!"

"What?" Fred's eyes widened. "Why would you say that? Why would you take her away from me?" His heart pounded, aching worse than his body from Shea's magical onslaught. "Shea- Ahh!" He grabbed his sides as the magic snapped at him, his face red from pain.

"You're not listening! This is a fucking disaster! You thought that stupid suit would solve all your problems, but it's made them worse! I saw into your head! This isn't a fairytale. You talk about love, but clearly that's a foreign word to you! If you loved her, you would have done things the right way. Well, if you know so much, then go! Go ahead, _Fred."_ She growled.

Fred's stomach dropped like he'd fallen into an abyss. He had waited years for Shea to use the name he'd chosen, but now that she had, he didn't feel the joy he had always expected. It felt like a cold slap, like he'd been cast out and severed from the last of his family. From the one sibling he felt safe and accepted by. She had been like a second mother to him, trying harder to understand him more than anyone. Would she really turn him away like all the rest? His only sister out of dozens of brothers? Was he truly alone?

"Go back to her without control and when you return to me after she's gone insane, or is dead, I will look you in the eyes and tell you, 'I told you so.'"

"That's not gonna happen!" he cried. "I won't let it!" Fred shook, sick at the possibility of his greatest fear coming true. Was he really at that point where he couldn't run from it anymore? Would he cause some sort of epic crisis like all the lilin from their history? Would he hurt Lizzie?

 _God, what if she's right?_ he thought. He felt at the end of a frayed and burning rope, but he didn't want to accept it. He just wanted to be with Lizzie in a normal and human way, not as a bloody incubus. He'd lose everything if he gave into his carnal nature, become everything he never wanted. Right now he barely felt as himself and it terrified him. He couldn't let it happen, and suddenly he just felt irate. Shea couldn't force this life on him under threat of abandonment or I told you sos!

"What do you think you can do? You're the incubus who ran away! You ran away from your nature and now you think you can be with a mortal?" She let out a bitter laugh. "Being an imaginary friend must have done something to your brain." Shea felt Fred's despair and felt guilty, but he needed to see the truth. When his anger rose again, she turned the pain into pleasure. She would open his eyes or knock him unconscious trying.

Fred's tight expression laxed and his eyes rolled back into his head, his body giving a shudder. Though it felt immensely good, anger flooded through him. He'd had enough. He wasn't her puppet to just fling around when he came to her in crisis. "Will you just... piss off!" he shouted, shooting his magic out and knocking her back with a shock of the pain she had given him before. Her powers released him and he dropped to the ground, trembling and gasping in relief.

"Ow! Why are you fighting me, you stubborn jackass?" She blew a stray strand of hair out of her face. "You're the one who asked for help and when you didn't like what I had to say you got pissed off. Well, newsflash you're an incubus. You just used your powers on me just like you used powers on Lizzie!" She gritted her teeth and lashed out at him with a dose of pleasure double the last. "This seems to be the only way to get through to you!"

Fred stumbled, catching himself on the armchair before he collapsed. "I don't... ugh, wanna be LIKE YOU!" he cried. "STOP TOUCHING ME!" Fred pushed back with all he had, shoving her magic away from him.

She had been ready for him lashing out with his magic, but not for his words. The magic blasted her like strong winds, whipping her hair and making her take a step back. She stared at her brother who gasped for air, full of anger, most of it because of her. Shea was numb as she played his words again in her mind. It was the worst thing he had ever said to her. She stared at a stranger now. She dropped her hands to her side, her magic swirling around her like a protective shell.

Shaking her head, her eyes shone with sadness and loathing. She didn't care if he could feel it and part of her wanted him to. "I don't want to touch you. I don't want to know you. Maybe I never really knew you." She turned away before he saw the tears in her eyes. "I thought I could help you, but I think I was wrong." She cried silently, feeling like she had just lost her brother.

Fred stood, willing his pulse to settle, but his sister's hurt invaded him, stopping his anger cold. He frowned, watching her. _I am a demon_ , he thought.

"Maybe... I was wrong in coming here," he said, quietly. "Who are we kidding? I don't belong here. Never did. I've been 'round humans so long I'm more one of 'em. I don't wanna be Lorcan. I'm Fred, have been for a long time. So... maybe it's good you recognize it. I'll figure this out on my own. I've always been a loner, anyway. I can navigate this just fine and you'll never have to tell me anything, or see me ever again."

She laughed in disbelief, wiping her eyes. "One of them? You? It must be wonderful being an imaginary friend, living in denial. You couldn't navigate your way out of a condom." She turned around and glared at him. "No matter what you wish, you're an incubus, and if you don't accept that, you're going to lose everyone you ever loved."

"Already have, apparently," he muttered. Her words stung. He knew he could never be human, but he strived toward it anyway. "And it's a good thing then I'll never have use for a shag balloon, isn't it?" he said, throwing an obnoxious sneer to try and cover his hurt. If she wanted to leave him now too, then fine. Big surprise someone else had, had enough of him. Someone else who couldn't accept him for who he was. Still, it broke him apart inside because he never believed Shea could get to that point.

Shea's hurt became spite. _Try telling me you don't need help when this happens._ She sent a huge dose of lust at him, reminding him how he felt about Lizzie. "Are you going to say goodbye to Lizzie forever, too?"

"I..." Fred panted, the lust rolling over him and making it hard for him to speak. His torrid mind reminded him just how amazing Lizzie had tasted, and how much he had wanted to know every part of her. The image of her eyes, staring into his own and her wet and swollen lips parting for another kiss flashed in his mind. Fred gasped and backed up, heading for the door. He had to get out of there or his sister would never let go. _I can figure this out. There has to be a way without losing Lizzie._

Shea felt his desire roar to life like a red, hot flame and felt the war inside him. He still fought her, but she could be stubborn, too. Doubling her efforts, she fueled his lust and Fred fell against the door with a thud. "Stop lying to yourself. You want her and the only way that's going to happen is if you accept who you are."

"Ugh! Stop trying to get me to admit to things that AREN'T REAL!" he shouted, but his desperation all but gave him away. His legs shook and he couldn't stand up straight anymore. "Obviously I never belonged here to begin with! Maybe it's all just one, big, flying cosmic joke I'm an incubus! The black sheep of everything! Not human, not _man_ enough to be an incubus. Ha, ha! Well, fine! I don't need your help. I'll just not show up tomorrow for Lizzie, get my head back, and sort this shit all out myself. There's gotta be something. The suit worked well enough for a while, so I know it can't be the only thing to keep my nature in check. I'll just find my cure elsewhere, and-"

Shea screamed at the top of her lungs. Her power rippled out from her, sending her hair flying around her as if a strong wind blew through the room. Paintings, pillows, vases, and lamps flew as she vented her rage at her stupidly stubborn brother.

"Shut up! I can't take this! You are pissing me off! Stop living in denial!" She glared at him. His blind refusal to accept himself made her want to throttle him. It was time for some tough love.

"You're going to see exactly what we are." Her magic enveloped him like a python squeezing its prey and she felt the magic of his suit weaken. She grinned. She hated that suit and it was time for it to go.

"You want this Lizzie more than anyone. You love her, crave her. I can still feel what you felt tonight. You're going to feel it again." His desire for Lizzie traveled along their entwined magic, reaching out and caressing her. Feeding off the lust, she pushed it back at him. "I know everything you feel. Now you're going to feel it again with a little boost."

The magical onslaught made his body thrum with desire and he dropped to his knees. Doubling over with a loud gasp, Fred clutched his sides, cringing and panting in desperation. He felt Lizzie as though she moved inside his soul, stoking every desire he had for her. "No! Stop! Don't do this!" Shea had complete control of his nature and he felt his suit's magic growing unstable. "I need this! You can't!"

"I will! It's time to get rid of your ugly crutch! Don't fight it!" She didn't let up. "Just stop fighting and accept it!"

"Oh god, Shea. You're such a bitch!" he ground out. His desires for Lizzie and hers for him rippled through him and he strained against it. The magic was so strong, it terrified him. Without his suit he'd be helpless against what he was again.

"I've been called worse. Now shut up and for once in your damn life listen to me!" She stood over him, amplifying the desires, not letting him stamp them out. "Stop fighting, you stubborn bastard, and let the lust fill you." She felt the offending suit's magic weaken further.

"Nooo, get a-" Fred's breath hitched and shuddered. "Ah, ffffuck," he whispered, eyes shutting as his voracious needs for Lizzie started to win out. His eyelids drooped. The heavy desire felt so good that he suddenly couldn't remember why he had been pushing it away. Breathing harder, his mouth opened, and he swore he could see Lizzie again, like he was back in the dream.

Shea smiled. "Yes, let it in. This is what you have been denying yourself. You could be like this with Lizzie and it wouldn't be a dream." She raised her brows. "She's a very quick study. I think I like this Lizzie." She nudged his desire, forcing him to experience the dream again. As she watched him struggle to resist, she noticed the edges of the green suit start to blacken. Shea grinned. _Finally._

Fred heard Shea's voice amidst the vision playing out in his mind. The dream felt different this time, more tangible, invasive. "Sss... Ssstopp," he pleaded, but his voice couldn't reach above a whisper, a weakened, needy whisper that strained with desire. He felt Lizzie's essence again in his, beating through him like blood. It filled him with an achingly satisfying urge for more that shot into his groin, coaxing a very hard erection to rise beneath his trousers.

"Uhh..." Fred tried to hide it by curling into a ball. He wanted it to go away, but found more and more he liked the way it felt. He just wanted Lizzie to touch and consume him, and for her to let him consume her. Forever. His whole being ached and thrummed with lust that wouldn't be ignored and he felt Lizzie kissing him, her tongue searching for his, her body pressed against his... "Oh god, Lizzie..." he breathed. "I... I-" A loud, drawn out whine rolled in his throat. His resolve frayed like a thread. " _Lizzie_!"

Shea shuddered from the residual lust radiating off him. "Holy shit! I don't know if it's your feelings for her, or the fact you've been suppressing it for so long, but just this small taste is like a major high I would get from prom night." Shaking her head, she looked back at her brother. She needed to focus.

Using her magic, she boosted his lust again. The stripes of his suit started to darken, becoming an inky black. His hair darkened, too, the bright, red turning auburn. "That's right, Baby Brother, embrace your desire. Judging from that hard on you want her _very_ badly. I've seen the dream, she wants you."

He gasped. Lizzie did want him, he felt it, and it felt too good to argue. He felt suffocated not having her. His breath grew shallower and he rolled onto his back, mirroring the position he had fallen into during the dream. He was so lost with longing, he couldn't open his eyes to break away from the visions. His erection felt like a second heartbeat against his restrictive trousers, the vibration making his ache deepen. He forgot about hiding it and his hips writhed in need. In the dream, Lizzie teased his mouth with hers and he heard her whisper his undoing. _'I want you. I need you inside me."_ Something snapped inside him.

Fred's head rolled back and he moaned, writhing as his clothes shifted from their vibrant color. A final flash of green magic surrounded him before changing to obsidian smoke. His jacket and shirt vanished, along with his shoes, revealing his tanned skin. In another flash, his trousers went to black. "Uhh! I, I want her!" he shouted like a desperate animal, not caring anymore who heard. Hips bucking, his toes curled and his fingers dug against the ground. "I want Lizzie!" His trousers dissolved in a final swirl of smoke, leaving him bare.

Shea gasped as her brother embraced his power and changed into his true form. His lust for Lizzie hit her and she embraced it, drawing it in. Her eyes grew dark, leaving a hint of the green as she fed off the desire that rolled off him in waves. "Forget smutty novels and watching mortals have sex. This is extremely satisfying." She panted. "I think I need to find Gabriel and expel some of this excess energy." She rolled her shoulders. "You see, Brother Dearest, embracing who you are is better than fighting it."

Opening his eyes, Fred revealed his now dark orbs surrounded by a thin, glowing ring of blue. He shuddered, too intoxicated to realize he lay there naked with an erection. "You play dirty, Sis," he grumbled with a sneer, panting. "It's really not fair." His voice had slightly deepened with the release of his true self.

Shea rolled her eyes. "You're welcome. Love the voice, by the way. Incubi are just naturally sexy speakers." She winked. "You really should come home more." She paused again, cocking her head to the side. She nodded and then looked at Fred, wincing a bit. "Now, don't freak out, but we're about to have company."

"Hmm, what? Who's it now?" Fred mumbled at Shea. He lie there grinning, still caught in his lust-filled high. It felt oddly satisfying, his every sense awake and craving Lizzie. His magic and groin ached for more, to invade her as she had him. Stretching out, Fred shut his eyes and took a deep breath. He had forgotten how infectious his nature felt without restraint.

Rolling her eyes, Shea waved a hand across her body, her dress disappearing in a swirl of black smoke. "Of course, you're a satisfied mess, and I have to deal with you. Clean yourself up, Darling Brother, we have guests." She crossed her arms under her bare breasts and shook her head at him. A loud knock shook the door.

"Just a moment, dears, I have to straighten up," she called, keeping her gaze fixed on her brother. "Straighten the fuck up!" She hissed. With a careless wave, she used her magic to tidy the room of the objects that had been tossed around in her fit. She leaned over her brother, who remained in his post-coital stupor, and clapped her hands in his face. "I'm going to open that door in one minute, and if you don't get up, Lila's going to pounce on you."

Fred started, his darkened eyes flying open. "What?! Lila? Why in the hell would ya talk about her?" he cried, propping himself up. The cool flooring suddenly reached his senses and he froze. "Oh, please no... Tell me I didn't..." Slowly, he glanced down and found himself completely nude on Shea's floor with a hard on. "Ah fuck, go away!" he screamed, his hands flying to cover it. He wanted to die.

Fred glared at Shea. "You broke my suit! You broke my bloody suit! How could you do this, you, you lust witch!" Another knock sounded on the door and he jumped. "Shit, shit, shit!" Fred tried magicking another set of clothes, but his powers had paralyzed in his horror. "Oh god! This is your fault!" he cried, scrambling for the sofa. He dove behind it with a crash. Popping up, he snatched two pillows and dropped again from view. "Make them go away!" He hissed.

Shea rubbed her temples. "You're such an embarrassment," she muttered and glared at the sofa. "You have no idea what is about to rain down upon you. Lila is going to seem like a wet dream compared to this. Enter." She turned her attention to the door as it swung open. Four lilin stepped through the door, all nude.

The tallest, and the most serious of the group, gave her a curt nod. "Scheherazade," said the incubus, "you know why we are here." It was not a question.

Shea nodded. "I do. I- I'm sorry to say that my brother isn't exactly at his best at the moment." She cleared her throat. "Lorcan, kindly stand up and greet our guests. Please." The last word was strained, both a command and a plea in one.

The top of Fred's head popped up from behind the sofa, his once again blue eyes peering at the guests. Three succubi accompanied the leader and Fred gripped the pillow against his lap even tighter when he recognized one of them.

Lila.

The blonde succubus who had carried a torch for him since they were children. He had not seen her since they were teenagers, but she hadn't changed much, still busty, curvy, and eyeing him like a piece of meat. Lila winked, blowing a kiss and smiling at him.

Gasping, Fred ducked down, thankful the shock had killed his arousal. "Nope."

"Still shy after all these years, Lorky?" asked Lila.

"And still not interested," added Fred in a singsong. "And I've told you, stop calling me that gross name!"

"Lila's not here for a date," Shea said, through clenched teeth, glaring at Lila who only smiled innocently. "Get over here and stop being such an embarrassment to me and the whole family." She resisted the urge to stomp her foot. This was humiliating and she was ready to throttle him regardless of witnesses present.

"Oh, you're embarrassed? Ha, ha. That's ruddy great, Sis! I'm wearing a sodding pillow! I'm staying put. Wanna tell me what exactly the naked posse's here for before I catch cold?"

"Fucking drama queen. You should've been a girl," Shea muttered. Waving her hand, the sofa disappeared, revealing a crouching Fred, who held two pillows to his front and back. Falling on his ass, he gasped and clung to his pillows. "What a lovely, dignified picture you make. Get up and perhaps they'll explain to you the reason for their visit."

"Shea!" Fred noticed everyone's attention fell on him and he swore he didn't know how he didn't burn a hole through the ground from embarrassment. His skin crawled from the way Lila ogled him, making him wish he had a third pillow or a rock to throw at her leering eyes. It'd been bad enough growing up with that staring at him every day in school.

"Stand up," said the incubus.

Fred grimaced. They had him cornered. He had no choice.

Standing, he held onto his pillows and slouched, hoping his face wasn't as red as it felt. Staring at the floor, he tried to pretend none of them saw him. "Happy? And I should _not_ have been a girl," he mumbled.

"I agree," whispered Lila, making Fred gasp, loudly.

"You should have!" Shea cried. "This whole bloody mess might have been avoided." Shea looked at the incubus. "What are the... charges?"

Fixing his serious gaze on Fred, the incubus cleared his throat. "I will not go into the long and varied list at present, but Lorcan is to appear before the council at once so the charges can be presented. You will have representation and they will answer any questions you may have. Are you prepared to go with us now?"

"Represen- What? What is this? Am I being put on trial?" Fred's grip loosened on his pillows, nearly dropping them. "Shea? What is- Wait a sec... They know? Shea, they really do all know?"

Shea winced. "I think everybody knows by now." She gave him a pained look. "Ta da?"

Covering his face with his hands, Fred screamed. Mortals really were lucky. They could die! Now all of Lullabi knew how 'Lorcan, the Virgin Shame' finally wanted to pop his cherry and he didn't want to hear any of it! He knew what a big deal they would all make of it forever. They'd torment him for finally caving to be like the rest of them. That alone sounded like an endless nightmare. Lila would never leave him alone now.

"Oh no! No 'ta da'! You do that when you pull things outta a hat, not when the whole, bloody lot of Lullabi knows that-" His gaze shot to the incubus and he laughed. "That I've done absolutely nothing!"

"Well, something's out of the hat now!" Lila chirped, trying to peek at Fred.

Mortified, he slapped his pillows back into place and glared at her as he backed away. "Just don't," he warned.

Shea closed her eyes, rubbing the crease between her brows. "For the love of-" She growled and glared at her brother. "You, stop talking, and you-" She pointed at Lila. "Stop flirting!" She looked at the other incubus.

"Nothing he says now will be held against him, yeah?" The incubus gave her the briefest of nods. "Thank you. Lorcan..." She turned back to her brother, catching him making sneers and eye rolls at Lila. "Lorcan! Pay attention!" She growled and waited until he looked at her. "When you did nothing," she emphasized the word, adding air quotes for good measure, "you may, or _may not have_ , broken some rules." She glared at the foursome in front of her. "You need to go with them, and for the love of carnal pleasures, do not say anything else! Nothing! Not one fucking word!"

Glancing between his sister and the foursome, Fred finally realized why there were so many succubi in the group. He had to get out of Lullabi now. There were places he was sure he could hide for a while, at least long enough to give them the slip. "Pfft! I'm not going with them! I'm innocent! Actually innocent! How can a virgin break any doing it laws?" He laughed, backing up.

Lila's smile turned into pity. "I'm sorry, Lorky, but rules are rules." Her magic snapped across the room, surrounding him. The other succubi followed, the crackle of magic filling the small space.

Shea felt tears start to come to her eyes. She had wanted her brother to come home and finally be himself, but she didn't want to see him hauled off before the council. Feeling helpless, she reached out a hand toward her brother. "Don't fight them. Just go. Please, just go."

Writhing, Fred realized he couldn't take another step and his powers had been locked. "Shea, how could you do this! I thought I could trust you!" he cried, betrayal in his eyes. He watched her for any signs that she was still the sister he remembered, the one who always protected him. He was actually scared, something he hadn't felt in a very long time. He didn't know what the council would do to him and he feared most of all that one person in particular waited for him there. "Shea?" he croaked.

Tears fell from her eyes and she wrung her hands. "Lorcan, they know. They knew before you even came home." She sniffled. "Father knows, and-" She wiped at her eyes. "It's going to be alright. It will. I promise." It was a lie; she couldn't promise him that, but she did it anyway.

Fred didn't say anything else, he couldn't. Something about the look in Shea's eyes frightened him and she had just confirmed one of his fears. He suddenly felt like a little boy again who wanted to run and hide in his sister's arms.

"We must take him now. You may meet us at the council, Scheherazade." The incubus' tone never changed.

"Very well," Shea said, her voice back to normal. "Take care of him."

"I won't hurt him," Lila said, a pout on her face. She looked over at Fred. "Better leave these here." Her magic pulled the pillows away in a swirl of black smoke, flinging them onto the floor. "All grown up, I see."

"For fuck's sake!" Shea and Fred muttered together.

"Enough. Temper yourself, Lila, or you will be removed," said the incubus. Lila responded with a long sigh. "Now move him."

"Will ya let me move my hands so I can at least cover _some_ of my shame?" asked Fred, his face red with anger and embarrassment.

"It isn't necessary," the incubus said, turning and walking out the door.

"Sorry," Lila said, shrugging her shoulders, almost looking like she meant it. The three succubi pulled Fred along with their magic.

Reaching out with what little power he had left, Fred tapped into the fading link that remained between him and Shea. _Please don't leave me. I need you, Sis. Help me fix-_

Their connection severed under the strain of the succubi magic as they took him out the door.

Following them, Shea stopped in the doorway. "I won't leave. I'll see you soon. Just- Be strong." She watched them take her brother away. "I'll fix this."


	4. Chapter 4: Indecent Exposure

**Authors' Notes** **:**

 **zombierose3** **:** Happy Halloween! Sorry this took so long. This is my last month of school, so I should have more time to get chapters out when it's through **(both for Dark Lullaby and for Second Chances)**. Thanks for reading, reviewing, and waiting! And thank you to my two beta readers, Jessie and Shelby. 3

 **unleashthewords** **:** I apologize for nothing! Perhaps I should apologize to Lorcan, "This is why I don't come home," aka Fred, but really it's for his own good. I hope you enjoy this chapter. Please let us know your thoughts. We love to hear from you!

 ****** **Disclaimers** **:** We don't own Drop Dead Fred and are writing this purely for fun and for our readers.

* * *

 **Chapter Four**

 _Indecent Exposure_

At the city's center in Lullabi, a tall, obsidian building dominated the skyline. A column of black smoke appeared over the dark, grey sidewalk, evaporating to reveal Shea. She shuddered, scowling up at the cold, unforgiving structure in front of her. Her father and many of her brothers worked here, but it wasn't exactly a happy place. There was nothing inherently wrong with the council and its ministrations of the law, but Lorcan was inside and it didn't bode well. Hurrying forward, she saw a familiar figure waiting outside the doors.

At least a head taller and leaner than most incubi, he was power and grace in one body. He had dark hair, almost as dark as Shea's, cut short on the sides and longer on the top, showing off the curl in his hair. Stepping forward as soon as he saw her, he opened his arms.

Shea ran to him and embraced him, pressing her cheek to his chest. "Gabriel, you're here," she said, eyes closed. "I thought you had to work."

"Of course I'm here. I'd do anything for you. Leo is covering for me," he answered her, pressing a kiss to the top of her head. "How's Lorcan?"

"Oh god, Gabe, it's bad." She sniffled, tears spilling from her eyes.

"It'll be alright, Shea," he said, hugging her tighter. "Let's go. Your mother's waiting for you."

"Oh shit. She must be a wreck," Shea said, stepping out of the circle of her lover's arms.

"She's doing alright. I do pity anyone else who crosses her path." He grinned down at her as he took her hand.

"Well, she loves you," Shea said, smiling back up at him. "I think everyone does."

They walked into the dark lobby that matched the interior. There was no need for lights in Lullabi. Lilin could see in the dark and preferred to exist in low light, if not complete darkness. Yet, a single, dim orb hovered over the entryway, illuminating a directory.

Everything else was black, sleek, and hard lines from the walls and floors to the stairs. The only exception being the huge, white, marble statue of an incubus and succubus in a torrid embrace that dominated the entryway. It was said to be the first lilin couple.

Barely giving the statue a glance, Shea looked around with disdain. "I know I say I love black, but would it kill them to have some fucking color? Red roses? A tulip?" Shea muttered as they approached the stairs.

Gabriel shook his head. "It's not that bad."

"Because you're too utilitarian to care," she murmured, wrinkling her nose at the monochromatic art on the walls. There were abstract paintings, watercolors, and portraits, but the recurring theme always sex.

"I'm taking that as a compliment." He gently tugged on her hair and Shea swatted at his hand.

Sticking out her tongue, she said, "You should. I didn't mean it as an insult. You're just practical. Lorcan would-" She swallowed, her throat suddenly dry. "Lorcan, would hate it."

"He'll be fine," Gabriel said, hugging her to his side. "To be honest, though, I don't know if they'll ever let him leave Lullabi again."

Shea looked at him, mouth open. "What? They'd lock him up at Mother and Father's forever?"

"I don't know. Rumors are swirling all over the place, but the consensus is it's pretty serious and the Imaginary Friends Council isn't happy." Gabriel turned with her at the top of the stairs and they continued down the shadowy halls. "I don't think he's getting his job back."

Shea waved her hand. "Who cares about his stupid job? He shouldn't be an imaginary friend to babies!" She scowled at Gabriel when he motioned for her to lower her voice. "I don't want to shush! I want my brother to not be in this mess! Yes, it's a mess of his own making, but I need to fix it!"

Taking her by the shoulders, Gabriel leaned down and looked in her eyes. "Shea, sometimes even you can't fix everything."

"But- but I have to!" A sob escaped her lips and she covered her mouth. Gasping, she blinked away tears, moving her hands to say, "I'm his big sister!" Another sob burst free and she wept hard. Gabriel pulled her close and held her in silence. Shea let go of everything, her anger, frustration, and especially her fear. He stroked her back and kissed the top of her head. Her body shuddered and her breath shook as one last tear rolled down her cheek, joining what she felt was a lake's worth of tears. She had nothing left.

Sniffling, she wiped her eyes and took a deep breath. The warmth of Gabriel's body soothed her, and while she would have preferred doing other activities, just being in his arms was enough. "Thanks. I know I don't say it enough, but thank you for being strong when I can't be." She looked up at him.

He smiled at her and wiped a missed tear from her cheek. "You don't need to say it, but thank you all the same," he said, his voice soft. "I'll be whatever you need me to." He kissed her cheek where the tear had been.

"That's why I love you," she said, caressing his cheek. "You are… unbelievably amazing. We better go in before Mother comes out to look for me."

They walked to the double set of doors and entered a large room with a massive table facing them. Before it were several benches, parted by a central aisle. To the right, closest to the table, paced a short, curvy woman. Her long, dark hair whipped around each time she turned.

"At least Mother's not strangling anyone," Shea murmured. Gabriel pinched her behind and Shea yelped. "Stop it!"

Shea's mother stopped in her tracks, saw her, and hurried over. She could have been Shea's twin, but for her blue eyes and the cosmetic choice to streak white through her hair.

"Thanks, Jerk," Shea muttered, but Gabriel merely smiled and waved at the approaching anxious woman.

"Scheherazade! Where have you been?" She took her daughter's face in both hands and checked her over. "I know you love Gabriel, but couldn't sex wait until after this travesty?" She smiled and nodded his way. "Hello, Gabriel. I'm glad you're here. You can keep my wayward daughter from running off again."

Gabriel grinned. "Hello, Calliope. I'll do my best."

Shea huffed and gently removed her mother's hands from her face. "Mother, calm down. Gabe and I did not indulge in sweaty fantasies, thank you. And I'm not wayward. I came straight here. He met me outside." She looked at him for a moment and smiled. Turning back to her mother, she sighed. "I had to wait for them to get... Lorcan."

"Oh, my baby! What is happening to him? Did they hurt him? How did he look?" She pressed her hands to her chest and looked around the room. "Where is your father? He said he would be here and I have not had a word from him since he flitted off!"

"One thing at a time, Mother. They're bringing him here. He looked… fine." Shea smiled, widely. Thinking of the ruined suit and how her brother finally looked like an incubus gave her some comfort. "He looked fine and naked when he left." When her mother's brows rose, Shea waved off her impending question. "I'm sure Father's looking into things. He's probably bellowing at someone and making them cry. You know he isn't one to sit idle. Especially when it comes to Lorcan. I can only imagine how mad he must be…" Shea looked over at Gabriel, who kept a politely blank expression on his face.

"Oh, he's all bluster!" Calliope paced the aisle again. "He just wants this smoothed over as quickly as possible!"

"All bluster?" Shea frowned at her. "He nearly knocked the house over when he heard about Lorcan and the s-" She checked the room. Only a few other lilin sat on the far side. Shea stepped closer to her mother. "Father almost took out the neighborhood after Lorcan took that awful suit!"

"He did not! He was…" Calliope cringed at her daughter's incredulous look. "Yes, he was upset, but it's understandable."

"Mother, we couldn't say Lorcan's name for months for fear that Father would lose it!" She raised a brow.

"Your father doesn't _lose it_ , Scheherazade!" Calliope placed her hands on her hips and scowled at her daughter, who mirrored her expression. "When-" Calliope gasped, her gaze roaming the room as she suddenly tilted her head. "Where are you?" she said through clenched teeth.

"Mother-" Shea was almost slapped by Calliope's wildly waving hand. She sighed.

"Andras! You need to get over here!" Calliope's loud voice drew the attention of the other lilin in the room.

"Stop talking out loud!" Shea hissed. Her mother rolled her eyes, but did as her daughter asked. Gabriel swooped in and pinched Shea's ass again, making her yelp. She turned and glared, but he only leaned down and kissed her nose.

"You're lucky I'm insanely in love with you or you'd be on that floor," she said, holding her glare.

"Sex in the council room would be a new one," Gabriel said, raising his brows.

Shea tried maintaining her scowl, but the suggestive thoughts Gabriel sent her made her laugh. "You're impossible."

"But you love it." He took her hand and kissed her palm. Shea rolled her eyes, but smiled.

"Scheherazade!" her mother whispered, loudly.

Shea flashed a pleading look at Gabriel, took a deep breath, and faced her mother with a smile. "Yes, Mother Dearest?"

"Your father's talking to some people and he's going to have a word with Lorcan's lawyer and then he'll join us. Come sit down." She walked toward the front row.

Gabriel rubbed Shea's shoulders, helping her slowly relax. "Thank you, Darling. This debacle is going to leave me in knots."

Kissing her temple, Gabriel laughed. "I'll be happy to help you work those out."

She turned and looked up at him, smiling as she ran a hand along his jaw. "I know you will. I'm looking forward to it."

"Scheherazade!" Calliope hissed. "Come sit down!"

Shea rolled her eyes at Gabriel. "Coming, Mother." They both walked over and joined Calliope in wait for Shea's father and the trial to begin.

* * *

Fred waited inside the dimly lit room where the succubi guards had left him. Lila had lingered a while, offering her companionship and the promise to make an incubus out of him so the council might be lenient with him. Like a man possessed, he'd backed against the far corner and shielded his bits with the nearest chair. He didn't remember shouting, but apparently he had been so loud the succubi guards rushed back into the room. An embarrassed Lila had rescinded her offer and apologized, but not without asking him to think it over. He must have blacked out after that because again he didn't remember a word he said, only that Lila promised they'd speak once he'd calmed down.

When they'd gone, Fred kept to the corner, protectively holding onto his chair. No one would make him move from this spot and if another succubus came through that door he would do something so foul they'd be put off sex for a week. _That oughta keep me safe_ , he thought, but as he waited time seemed to crawl.

 _What's taking them so long to give me any answers?_ Fred reached out for Shea's mind, but some sort of interference kept his ability confined to the room. "Ugh! This is ridiculous! Why're they treating me like I'm some kind of monster-"

Fred paled and a terrible thought entered his mind. "Oh god… Did I hurt my Snotface?"

The door opened and a tall, dark-skinned succubus entered. Her black hair, cut close to her scalp, showed off her finely sculpted features. Like everyone else Fred had encountered, she wore a serious expression and no clothes. In her hands were several sheets of paper. She nodded at him in silence, her brown eyes squinting as she appraised him. A moment passed before a small smile emerged on her lips.

"Hello, Lorcan. I'm Felicia and I'll be your representative during this trial. Do you have any questions before we begin?"

"Yeah. Can we both get dressed?" he asked, trying to keep his eyes on the wall beside him. "And it's Fred, thanks. I don't go by Lorcan anymore."

Her smile faded and she stared at him. "Humor isn't going to help you right now. And your name is officially Lorcan. Do you have any real questions, or should I start with the charges against you?" Her voice had the hint of warning in it and the look she gave him matched. Fred rolled his eyes.

"I was being bloody serious for once, and my name's still Fred." He should have known better, though, because everyone in Lullabi had no concept of how to cover their bits and pieces. His chosen name also left a bad taste in their mouths because they considered it common and human. "Hey, wait. About those charges, Lizzie's not hurt, is she?"

"What exactly would clothes do for you? Give you a sense of modesty? Would they help these charges vanish? And yes, there are many, and some I have never heard of." She raised a brow at him and then glanced down at the papers. "You stole a magic… suit from the leprechauns? You're really going to make this difficult, aren't you?" She sat down in the chair on her side of the table. "Will you please sit? You're making me feel anxious."

"Okay. I don't see how we can play well together if you can't get why I need some clothes. Also, I don't know what you're talking about! I've got no suit, as you can clearly see. Although, those leprechauns are snarling lil' bastards. One of 'em bit me…" Fred flexed his hand, staring at the place he'd been nipped all those years ago. "Anyways, no, I'm not sitting down. Not without some clothes. Do you have any idea who's sat there? Everyone's starkers! I'm not touching anything. Who knows what that chair's seen! Now, I want some trousers, and I want my question answered about Lizzie." He crossed his arms over his chest. "You said I can ask anything I want."

Felicia slowly inhaled, waited, and let out a long breath. "Do you think this is a game? I'm not an imaginary friend and I'm not here to play. I am here to help you during this trial." She turned her hard stare back to the papers. "I have several documents alluding to a magic, green suit, and I very much doubt that you never had it. You seem to know a lot about leprechauns and their bites. Are you still going to deny it?"

Fred tucked his hand under his arm. "I asked a very serious question, not seeing how that's a game. I'm lots more fun than that," he muttered. "So, come on. Can't ya crack open those magic files and tell me? Is she alright? I'm not answering anything until I know." Fred held a steady gaze with Felicia, fighting his urge to snatch her files and look for himself.

Watching him, she tapped one finger on the table. "I would urge you to be more cooperative with the person who is trying to help you. You're the one who engaged in unauthorized sexual acts with a mortal. Are you honestly telling me you have no idea what effect that had on the aforementioned mortal?"

"Of course I know!" He cringed at the way Felicia described his encounter with Lizzie. "But I'm asking about the after effects…" He wrung his hands. "Please. She's not just a mortal; she's my best friend. Is she safe and unharmed from… from what I took? Not insane or anything? I, I need to know first." Fred's desperation for an answer shone through as he watched Felicia. Nothing else mattered until he heard. He'd never taken that amount of desire off a mortal before and didn't know the limit. "Please."

Felicia studied him in silence, taking in his face and body language. The reports on him were enlightening. If it hadn't come from O.L.A., she would have said someone had a strange sense of humor, but all of it was true. Sitting in front of the subject of her report, she could now see everything for herself. He seemed a complete prude for a lilin, but he was remarkably sensitive, and his worry surprising. The reports had mentioned the mortal, who had been his former charge, but there seemed to be more to it than that.

Feeling sympathy, she answered his question. "There are no charges involving the maiming, or otherwise harming of a lilin, or mortal."

"Oh, thank god!" Fred sank back against the wall and exhaled, loudly. It felt like all the air had returned to the room. He wouldn't have been able to live with himself if he'd hurt her. He would have starved himself until death. Shutting his eyes, Fred's tensions turned into a manic chuckle he couldn't stop. He wiped his eyes, his body trembling. Lizzie was safe. She'd probably never speak to him again, but she was safe. "Thank you," he whispered, looking back at Felicia, suddenly calmed.

Her brows rose at his laughter. His relief had made him giddy. She would have to confer with the examiner later and make sure he was of sound mind, just in case. She folded her hands on the table. "You're welcome. I hope that earns me a little good will. Would you like to sit so we can discuss your case?"

Fred eyed the chair waiting across the table from Felicia, acutely aware of his nakedness once more, but he had made a deal.

Holding his head high, he gripped the back of the chair in front of him and carried it as he walked over. Dropping it at the table, he covered himself with his hands and slipped into the seat. "Alright," he said, scooting forward until the table touched his abdomen, "I'm listening. Let's talk. Why am I here if it's not for that, and how long 'til I can get outta here?" He couldn't imagine anything worse than what he'd thought he'd been arrested for, so this couldn't be that serious.

She smiled, relieved they were making some progress, but it faltered when she saw he wasn't fully grasping his situation. "Lorcan, this isn't a little slap on the hand. This is serious. As in you are going before the council and everything you have ever done is going to be brought up and gone over with a microscope."

He stared at her, the words repeating in his mind because none of it made any sense. "What? Why?" His hands smacked on the table and he leaned forward, fear making his thoughts run. "What's the council so interested in me for? Isn't this what those perverts have wanted of me for almost three hundred years?"

She sighed. "There are rules. We have rules for a reason." Leaning forward, her voice grew louder. "You just freaked out because you thought you hurt someone! You violated I don't know how many rules in just that one area alone!" She sat back, sighing again. "You've broken so many rules they aren't going to let this slide."

Fred drew back in his seat, fighting the urge to say something just to piss her off. It was his go to reaction whenever something upset him. It took the pressure and the focus off himself, but despite everything, Felicia was his one hope of getting out of here.

Fred still remembered the council and their leering, disapproving eyes when he'd refused to go through his rite of passage into working as an incubus, and again when he'd taken the suit. The third time had been when the suit's magic had faded enough that he'd needed to start feeding. He recalled their hopeful smiles and warnings that the day would come when he couldn't run anymore from himself. He'd laughed in their faces and avoided them until this day because he knew they waited to cast their one, unanimous decision that would take away the life he wanted. Was that to be today?

"But what I did was an accident!" he cried, his voice quaking. Fred grimaced. He hadn't meant to shout. Shea was right, he was all over the place and feeding from Lizzie had made him so much worse.

Taking a deep breath, he straightened in his chair and tried to feign some confidence, but his fingers drummed on the table. "What rules exactly are they gettin' all bothered about?" He spoke quieter than he intended. "I- I don't have the suit anymore."

"You know that you are supposed to feed at regular intervals and with supervision. The council made this perfectly clear. You have limited contact with mortal females for a reason. You violated the terms of the agreement…" She frowned, not wanting to look at his face when she told him the rest.

"But I have met up! I have every time! I even just fed last night. Ask my brother, Remy. He's always my supervisor."

"I understand, and it's noted that you have been following procedure… until now."

"Ugh! Because tonight wasn't a feeding! It was- Tonight was just... unexpected. I wasn't even hungry when I went to see her."

She took a deep breath. "You still fed from a mortal and it was unsanctioned and unsupervised. Not to mention that you ran off, went to a motel, and fed off more mortals. It doesn't matter what your state. They're going to throw the book at you, so to speak."

"But… but I don't want the book," he mumbled, sinking down in his chair. Reality suddenly reached his addled mind and he struggled keeping his breath steady. He'd forgotten about the motel. "It, well it- Fuck!" He gasped. "Look, I swear I only fed off that many so my powers took less from each of 'em. I, I didn't wanna hurt anyone! That's why I spread it out. I-" He couldn't get out of this one, could he? They finally had him right where they wanted him. "Isn't there anything you can do? It's never happened before, and I'm sure it won't again. A fluke, really."

She shook her head. "I'm sorry. I can't. There are no exceptions with the council. All I can do is try to lessen the consequences. I'm afraid at the very least you won't be an imaginary friend anymore." She winced and her words struck Fred so hard he went numb.

He wouldn't be an imaginary friend anymore? This couldn't be real. That life was practically all he knew. He'd been an imaginary friend longer than he'd lived in Lullabi. He lived and breathed it. The council wouldn't take the one thing he'd ever loved doing. Would they?

 _Of course they will._

Fred shook his head, his gaze erratic as he tried holding himself together. He suddenly felt like throwing the table across the room and smashing it to bits. What if they barred him from the mortal realm, too? Forced him to work as an incubus, or to never see Lizzie again? Would that sever their link?

"Why? I…" He breathed harder, the idea of an eternity without Lizzie and never sensing her again too much to bear. It was so strong, he couldn't even mention it aloud yet. "But I'm an imaginary friend! It's what I do. I'm no good as an incubus. Please, I have to stay in the mortal realm. I can't leave her!" His eyes widened as he realized what he'd said and he desperately added, "I mean, I can't leave _there_ yet."

Felicia felt his pain and panic and sympathized. She had been in his metaphorical shoes, having her job on the line, and it had not been a wonderful experience. As Fred's ramblings wound down, she noticed his slip of the tongue and her brows rose in surprise.

"I'm sorry, but there's no way the council will let you continue being an imaginary friend. You broke so many laws the I.F.C. are screaming for your head, but the lilin council is keeping them calm. For now." She scanned her papers. "So, you'll have to have sex with a succubus, or be put to work in some mundane job, like making sure the streets are clean, so they can keep you far from mortals." Fred made a face, but his panic remained etched on his face. She tilted her head and pursed her lips. After Fred's slip, she wanted to see what he really thought of the mortal.

"You know, if you can't be a proper incubus someone else will get the job and visit Lizzie. She fits our clientele. It'll be another incubus having sex with her. I mean, I enjoy my job, but having sex with a beautiful woman is a damn, good job to have. I get the best of both worlds." She smiled at him. "Representing lilin in matters of the law and making love to a gorgeous creature like my wife… Yes, I have it good. So will whoever gets assigned Lizzie." She made a show of looking shocked. "What if it's one of your brothers?"

"What?" Fred stood up so fast his chair shot back and hit the wall. All nakedness forgotten, he slammed his hands on the table and growled. Felicia jerked, surprised by his outburst. "Why would anyone be assigned to her? She's m- Who is it? Which brother? It's not Remy, is it?"

Mouth hanging open, Felicia stared at Fred's wild eyes. "Um, no, no it's not Remy." Collecting herself, she smiled. "Would it bother you if Remy was assigned to Lizzie?"

Fred gaped at her incredulously, trying not to think about what she said, but the thought of Lizzie with Remy... "Fuck that! Like I'm gonna let him, or anyone get anywhere near my Lizzie! I'll rip his head off! I'll stamp and spit on it and then I'll smash it!" His emotions pulled in every direction, reigniting the overwhelming essence of Lizzie that possessed him. Lust rolled through him and he whined, kicking the chair as he paced. "I know what she needs and it's not some dream romp with just anyone! She's worth more than that! I'm the one that lo- Ugh!" Pulling at his hair, he paced faster. This was a nightmare and he couldn't stop shaking.

Biting back a smile, Felicia laughed, softly. "So you would be bothered. I was so sure you had just finally lost your self control and succumbed to your nature, everyone was, but you love her and you can't fight those feelings." She shook her head. "Well, fuck me, things are finally looking up."

Fred spun around. "Wait, what?" He couldn't close his mouth. His ears burned. "Where are you getting that? I never said anything about… about _love_." He sneered and lifted his chin. "Pfft!"

Seeing his awkward display at being caught, Felicia tried her best to hide her amusement. His half-hearted sneer almost did her in and she took a moment to make sure she could reply without laughing. "Lorcan, I know. It's written all over your face. Don't ever play poker, by the way. I don't know why you're so embarrassed. It's a good thing. It's great, actually. If you're in love, then this can help you."

"I'm not embarrassed!" he cried, but he felt his face betray him again with a blush. He groaned, wishing more than ever he had his jacket back if only to shrink into it and hide. Smashing something also ranked high on his list.

Blushing harder, he grabbed the chair and shuffled back to the table. He wasn't embarrassed or ashamed to love Lizzie, but anyone in Lullabi knowing about it made him want to kick them all and run away.

Sighing, he dropped into the chair and looked at Felicia. "And I'm great at poker," he said. _Of course it's always been against children under ten…_ "Hey, wait a minute…" His eyes widened. "Did you just trick me into revealing my- That I have feelings?"

"Trick sounds so underhanded. I prefer 'helped you voice your feelings.'" She smiled. "It's not the end of the world." When he looked less than convinced, she rolled her eyes. "You need to come to terms with your feelings, because it's going to be part of your defense."

"I have come to terms. If I hadn't, I wouldn't have gone back to her." He fidgeted and leaned closer to Felicia, lowering his voice. "Alright, yes. I love and adore her, and obviously am a gigantic mess for it. But I just don't want all of Lullabi laughing and saying 'I told you so.' Or, 'Look at Lorcan, the big girl! Bet he wants to do it now!'" He made a face, picturing his brothers Castor and Adrian as the first in line. "Haven't you met my family? They never let go of anything! I'll be hearing about this for eternity!" he hissed in desperation. "They're why I don't come home, you know. How are my feelings gonna help with this?"

Smiling at Fred's admission of love, she had to keep herself from cheering. From everything she had read, she knew he wasn't the most forthcoming kind, at least when it came to his own feelings. Reading about the things he had said to the council had made her raise her brows. He was not shy about telling people where they could stick things and she winced when he mentioned being mocked. She knew from the report that he was no stranger to it.

"Look, I don't believe anyone should be mocked for their feelings, but yours will be scrutinized. I just wanted to warn you. Especially because you love a mortal and because you're… you." She waved a hand as she offered an apologetic smile.

Fred studied her, surprised and touched by her understanding. "Thanks," he said, "but are you sure just pleading insanity won't be faster? I can be very convincing." He smiled.

"No. I don't win my cases by using half-baked excuses." She crossed her arms. "No matter how convincing my client is."

"Well, I've been a professional at crazy for almost three centuries now," he added with a shrug, but worry knotted inside him. He knew exactly where this led. Felicia would announce his feelings to the council in front of everyone and they'd want every detail. He practically heard his brothers' taunts already, especially Castor. He had always been the worst of his brothers, particularly when it came to his love of the human world. He'd certainly pounce if he knew he'd gone and fallen in love with one of them.

"Seriously though, I'm still not getting how this helps. I know I've been gone a while, but isn't it still a huge no-no for a lilin and mortal to fall head over heels mad for one another?"

Felicia wrinkled her nose. "I think you're getting a little ahead of things, Romeo." She sighed. "It helps because it shows you didn't just lose control and you're not a half-cocked incubus waiting to go off. Your love for your mortal kicked your powers into overdrive." She gave him a small smile. "Also, we don't know how she feels, do we? An admission from her would be helpful." She studied Fred. "Does she actually know that you're in love with her? Did you tell her?" She was dying of curiosity, because clearly this was not in the files.

"Hang on a snotting tick! Overdrive?" His jaw dropped and he felt somewhere between laughing and screaming. He'd realized immediately that despite his suit his feelings for her had awakened his nature, but he'd never considered why it was so strong. He'd thought it was normal. For six months he'd been absolutely out of his head, and terrified he was turning into his worst nightmare: a sex-crazed demon, enslaved by his nature. His feedings had increased since he'd fallen for her and he hadn't spent a night not wanking himself blind in shame. _But it's all because of… love?_

"That… that Snotface! I knew it was something to do with her! Fuck, it makes perfect sense. I've been in control at every feeding. Remy's had naked women revved up right in front of me, but none of 'em affected me like her. This is her fault. Her and her big, brown eyes and that, that face!" _And her perfect everything else._ "Ugh!" Fred dramatically threw his head back, then dropped it face first on the table, hiding in the circle of his arms with a thud.

Felicia reached out and patted his arm. "Love is like a smack to the face with a sledgehammer." She sighed, shaking her head at his despair. "Why didn't you come home, or tell your supervisor, I mean your brother? You might have saved yourself a lot of… trouble." She bit back a laugh, not wanting to mock him when he was down.

Fred lifted his head just enough to peek at her with one eye open. _Sledgehammer? A firetruck packs less of a punch._ He sat up and slumped forward with his elbows on the table. Felicia looked so genuinely sympathetic it surprised him, making his guard lower even more. The gravity of his situation had squelched his ability to fight any longer. He knew he needed help, besides, Felicia maybe wasn't so bad.

"Because… I think he already knew and there was no way I was gonna admit it!" he grumbled. "I thought it'd go away if I waited it out, not cause, well, _this_." He waved his hands at himself.

Her jaw dropped. She couldn't help it; he had stunned her. "It would... go away if you... waited it out?" The question hung in the air between them like smoke. She stared at him. She couldn't think, no other thought would come to her.

"Well, yeah. I…" He sighed. "Look, I'm new to this! I didn't know how love worked, not this type! All I've done is work with kids, not written sonnets and plotted how to give someone the moon." He flushed, embarrassed by his lack of understanding in this area.

Felicia blinked, her brain slowly churning back to life. "I- Uh- I'm sorry." She held up a finger as she tried organizing her thoughts. "Bacchus' balls, you are an anomaly." Rubbing her eyes, she tried to fathom it all. "You weren't supposed to go near her, but then when you realized you were in love with her… you went to see her? To tell her?" Her voice rose an octave at the last word.

"Because she haunted me day and night!" he cried. "My charge's best friend's named Elizabeth! I can't even make mud pies because it reminds me of her eyes! Jessica's mother wears a perfume that makes me think of her. I see her when I close my eyes. I even think I hear her in my sleep. It's bloody hard to leave someone when they stalk you! The final kick was when Jessica was out with her parents at some rotten and horribly dull restaurant last night and I fucking saw Lizzie with her ex-husband signing off on their divorce papers. I couldn't do it anymore! I had to tell her. I figured it was some sort of sign that maybe…" Fred couldn't say the rest. He'd never been one to believe in romance and fate, or all that happily-ever-after muck, but after leaving Lizzie behind he'd almost grown obsessed with the idea that she and him could belong together.

Felicia looked at his wide eyes. He seemed like a man on the edge and she placed her hands on the table and folded them. "It sounds like you have it very bad. Love can push you past your limits sometimes." She smiled. "Your love won out. You decided, well, maybe the Fates decided, that you couldn't be without her any longer." She sighed. "I just wish you would have done it differently. I suppose it's moot now. Time to deal with the mess and the council. You're sure that Remy didn't know about your feelings for Lizzie? It's important. Especially for him."

Fred cocked his head. The Fates. Would they really have driven him insane just so he'd make a move? Maybe he wasn't as crazy as he thought hoping he and Lizzie were meant to be... "Remy never outright said. Just asked me loads of questions. Nagged me 'bout comin' home. Asked me lots about Lizzie, too, but I never admitted a thing. So, if he knows it's not because it came outta my mouth." He frowned. "Why? Is what I did gonna hurt him somehow?"

"Well, at least that can't be used against him," she muttered, thankful for small mercies. "Listen, I know you did your adolescent run away from home bit, but did you never pay attention to anything in Lullabi?" Her look showed her skepticism. "I don't know where to start. As for your brother… hopefully, they just decide to give him a warning." She bit her lip as she thought things over, but Fred rolled his eyes.

"I paid attention to enough to learn I didn't want to learn anymore about anything here," he said, but his thoughts turned to his brother. "He didn't know. I'll vouch for him," he added, quietly. "He's done everything right by their standards. He warned me all the time to stay away from her."

She ran her hands over her face. "You sure like to make things difficult for yourself. So, he warned you… as your supervisor and your brother and you still didn't listen? Do you think you're above the rules or something?"

"No. I just believe in smashing things until they work right." He shrugged. "Plus, I'm a stubborn bastard." His smile briefly sparked with mischief until he added, "Obviously it backfires sometimes."

"This isn't a radio or a toaster, Lorcan," she said, fighting to keep her voice calm. "There's rules for a reason- Bacchus, help me, I'm repeating myself." She groaned. "You throw everything into chaos is what I read. I'm experiencing it firsthand. I need to go over these charges and think about what we're going to say to the council." Her eyes widened. "You will be on your best behavior in there, right? You're not gonna smash something in there, or moon the council?" Her face paled at the thought, sure he would swear to flip tables and tell the council how they could go fuck themselves.

Fred laughed. He couldn't help it. Felicia's terrified look reminded him exactly of Lizzie's when he'd come crashing back into her life. The connection made his face fall blank. _Can I go one minute without thinking of her?_ "Sounds like you read about my last meeting with those blowhards. I'll be good. Promise. I don't really feel like myself right now anyway," he mumbled. The connection to Lizzie had finally calmed, but something felt different inside him and he couldn't pinpoint why. He only knew he didn't like it.

Still cringing from his laughter, Felicia almost fell out of her chair when he promised to be good. She frowned. "Are you screwing with me, because I cannot take it right now."

Her response hit a nerve as Fred realized he'd just promised to behave himself. Him, Drop Dead Fred, had promised to be on his best behavior to the most obnoxious cluster of perverts in the universe. _What's the matter with me?_ His jaw clenched. He'd prove that he was still Drop Dead Fred with or without that suit. "No. Not yet." He smirked. "Unless… would ya prefer I wave my bits about and perform a puppet show with 'em? I can do great voices. Sounds a lot less boring."

Felicia's jaw dropped and she nearly begged him to reconsider when she remembered that he had been hiding in the corner with a chair in front of him when they'd first met. She glared at him through slitted eyes. Was this more of his imaginary friend nonsense? Could she call his bluff?

Leaning back in her chair, she grinned. "Well, I believe that no sexual acts have ever occurred in the council room. We could have your ceremony in there first thing. Sex with Lila."

Fred screamed, falling over backwards in his chair. "Ah! No! Are you crazy?" he cried, kicking his legs as he rolled and crawled back to his corner. "I'm not touching her! You, you keep her away from me! I'm not having any-" He tucked his knees to his chest and frantically waved his hands. "I'm not having it off in _there_! Not with, with _her_!"

Slapping her hands over her mouth, she fought to keep her laughter in, but it was useless. Doubling over, her giggle escalated into uproarious laughter and an unladylike snort. Tears built in her eyes and she waved her hand at Fred, barely able to speak. "I- I'm-" She laughed harder.

"Stop laughing! She wants to have sex with me!" he shouted, pale and pressing into his corner.

Felicia could only cackle. She fanned her face, trying to dry the tears. Falling back in her seat, she took a deep breath. "Oh, Aphrodite's tits! I have not laughed that hard in ages." She wiped her eyes. "Get over here."

Fred's eyes widened and he shook his head like it was having a seizure. "No! I don't wanna hear, or think about anyone's tits!" He covered his ears.

Rolling her eyes, she shook her head, waiting for him to stop cowering in the corner. "I'm sorry I, uh, traumatized you. I didn't realize you had a Lila phobia. Will you come back, please? We got a little off topic."

Fred watched her, unsure if he should trust her not to throw him under Lila. Just the thought made him squirm. Maybe he should be on his best behavior if he didn't want that to happen to him. "Yeah. Sure," he said, getting up and covering himself as he walked over to his chair. He uprighted it, and sat back down. "Truce?" Out of habit, he held out his pinky and grinned.

Felicia smiled back, glad he was willing to return and talk, but when he offered a truce and his pinky, she blinked. She had never done anything like this before. It seemed so very human, and so like Fred, that it made her smile. Hooking his pinky with hers, she laughed. "Truce."

Fred chuckled, his relief pouring into every tensed muscle and relaxing him. "Great. So… what's next? Round of Twenty-One Questions?" he asked, lifting an eyebrow.

"I don't think Twenty-One Questions would cover it," she said, looking through her papers. "So… the first few charges actually go back almost three centuries. They are being brought up…" She paused, reading the page in her hand. "...because they show a precedent with you. You stole property, violated treaty agreements, and assaulted foreign parties. They demand the return of their property and restitution." She looked back up. "Do you have anything you wish to add?"

"Hang on. Restitution? You're talking 'bout those tiny buggers, aren't you? Are they here?" Fred knocked his chair back and rushed for the door, peering out its small window. "Where are they?" His head darted side to side and up and down, trying to get a better angle.

"Lorcan, I have thirty-eight charges to go over with you and not a lot of time to do it in." She pointed at the chair. "Can you please sit?"

"Wait. Thirty… _eight_?" His eyes widened and he stepped closer. "Is this… is this a joke?"

Felicia cleared her throat. "While I do feel like I have a great sense of humor, my wife says I'm not very funny. This isn't a joke." She drummed her fingers on the table.

Holding his head, Fred slowly reached out for his chair and fell onto it. "Thirty-eight… Three centur- Resti- What? Will you please stop using all this fancy mumbo jumbo and just spit it out? What is all this?"

She sighed. "A long, long time ago you entered Ireland like a bad boy, stole a suit, and hit some tiny men. Sound familiar?"

Fred straightened in his seat, glancing down at his naked form. "No. Must've left it in my other pocket," he answered, glancing at Felicia, but the way she stared at him made it hard for him to hold his composure. What would the council do to him if he confessed he'd taken the suit and now didn't have it anymore? If they locked him up forever he'd never see Lizzie again and he'd never be able to tell her why. She'd just think he'd left her forever, again, and the thought of never seeing her face again terrified him. He groaned. "Alright, yes, it's familiar, but I don't have their laundry anymore. Okay? My sister broke it!"

"So, you did have it, but it's… gone?" Felicia had never heard of magical suits breaking. She had never actually seen a magic suit or anything like it. It was all outside her area; her expertise was the law.

"Ugh! Yes! Shea found its weakness. She amped me up on Lizzie lust and smashed it to bits. Grinning, I might add! Absolutely no shame. Completely unrepentant! My poor, poor suit who never did anything to anyone ever! Gone! Like that!" He snapped his fingers. "It turned all black and next thing I knew I was exposed, cold, and destitute on the rug! I'm the one that should demand restitution."

Clearing her throat, Felicia looked down and busied herself with her papers until she was sure she could hide her smile. When she lifted her head, she tried to appear sympathetic. "Uh, that's too bad. So very sad." Coughing to conceal her laughter, she hid another smile behind her hand.

"Um, as I said earlier," she continued, "it might have helped smooth things over if you could have just handed it back. I'll have to figure something out. I don't know what kind of restitution they'll want... There's no gold in Lullabi, or beer. Is that stereotyping?" She muttered the last part as she drummed her fingers on the table. "We'll at least inform them that you were planning on turning it over, but an unfortunate excess of power rendered it inert." She grimaced. "That sounds a little iffy even to me. I may need to work on that."

"Iffy? Pfft! Well, part of that's true." He sulked, staring at his fingers. He recalled how his green magic had returned to its natural, black smoke and how much more he'd craved Lizzie. "I'm cold without that suit and-" He took a deep breath, feeling his nature waking up at the memories. She'd wanted him so much, more than he'd ever expected, and the sound of her voice telling him so remained as vivid as the feel of her touching him. "Well, it just feels weird." If he didn't talk about it, it had to die back down and stop ruining everything for him.

One corner of Felicia's mouth went up at his pouting. "I know you had your alleged ill-gotten gains for a long time," she said, adding a wink, "but I think it's good you don't have it anymore." She paused, feeling the hints of lust stirring within him. "It has to be better without it. Don't you want to be with Lizzie for real? You can't have that by pretending to be an imaginary friend and babysitter." Tilting her head, she studied him. "We're not evil, you know. There's nothing to be ashamed of. If she loves you, she'll love you for who you are."

Fred didn't move, but his face reddened and his jaw clenched because he knew that Felicia could feel him. _This is exactly why I don't come home_ , he thought. Of course he wanted that with Lizzie, but he feared saying it aloud right now would make him explode. Thanks to Shea his nature felt even stronger without his suit. It seemed he could barely think about Lizzie now without fighting off his desires. His fingers slowly curled over the table and he was thankful he at least had it to hide beneath should his desires continue to rise.

"Um, I don't think I wanna get into it," he said, keeping a tight gaze on the table and counting the lines in the wood.

"I know this is difficult," she said, her voice low. "You've had the suit for so long and this is new for you. You don't have the suit's powers anymore. It has to feel strange, but hopefully it'll feel better soon. You'll get used to being a regular incubus in time and it won't be so awkward." She smiled, even though he kept looking down and dug his nails harder against the table.

 _Awkward's definitely not what I'm feeling_ , he thought, taking a deep breath. _And I'll never get used to this. An eternity walking around on high alert, dreading the times my prick pops up like a snake in the grass for all to see!_

"I wish I could say something profound that would help you, but I suppose all I have are platitudes. Listen, if you ever need to talk, my door is always open. In case talking to your family is driving you crazy, ya know."

"Thanks. I'd like that," he said, glancing up at her.

"I have to confess that I heard about you from your father." She waited, wondering how he might react.

"Wait. You know my father?" He stared at her with surprise and a small smile graced her lips.

"Yes… he told me things between you two have been difficult…"

His eyebrow quirked at her remark. "You could say that," he said, guessing he knew exactly what his father had said about him. In almost three centuries he hadn't forgotten any of their last several exchanges, or the throbbing vein in his father's neck when he'd seen him in that suit. Or his mother's face over the things they had said to one another...

Biting her lip, Felicia's brows furrowed. "I, uh, want you to know that he's the reason I'm here. He asked for me to help you and I will." She said the latter with firmness. "No matter what my reasons are for being here, I am here to do my job, and that is to do my best for you."

"Well, it's nice to have help," he replied, leaning forward and studying Felicia. "Um, so…" He pointed at her, still processing what she'd told him about his father. "My father… hired… you?" he asked. "For me?" Out of everything that had happened to him tonight, this sounded like the most ridiculous and unbelievable part of all. "Are you sure it's not so he can get me off the hook and kill me himself when this is all through?" He laughed nervously, but he was half-serious.

Felicia nodded. "Yes, he came to see me once he knew you were back. He's very connected, and with your brothers' jobs, he knows everything that goes on. Your, um, apprehension and trial were inevitable, so he asked me to help. He warned me it would be a daunting task." She laughed. "I normally never turn away a challenge, and this is going to be my most challenging trial yet."

Fred's confusion worsened. His father, the man who had disowned him, had hired a lawyer to help him fix the biggest mess of his life? Why? An annoying hope nagged at him to believe his father didn't despise him after all, but he shook it off. He might be crazy, but he wasn't delusional.

"This is beyond anything I have done, but the aftermath could be huge," said Felicia. "New laws could be written." She grinned. "Sorry, I'm a bit of a law nerd, you could say. Long story short, I'm here and I need you to work with me."

"This isn't exactly how I wanted to make history." His imagination leapt to a future with him in the lead of a cautionary tale about staying a virgin and dabbling with leprechauns. His brother, Dante, would probably teach a class at school to young lilin about it, too. ' _Don't be a prude. It makes you steal tiny trousers and before you know it you're in a motel that's crawling with V.D. and you're causing an orgy. And not even a good orgy. Sad, really. Lorcan, the Virgin Shame cocked that up, too and he's still a virgin!'_ Fred's face heated as he imagined the laughter of all the children with his brother leading the chorus.

"Now, let's start at the beginning," said Felicia, her words cutting through his waking nightmare and making him jump. "Ireland," she added. "Explain as thoroughly as you can."

Straightening, Fred ran his hands through his hair and exhaled. He'd never been more grateful for an interruption. _That was just fucking weird_.

"There's not much to tell," he admitted. "I was nearing my rite of passage and I heard they wanted to pair me with Lila, who I really, sorely didn't wanna do. Ugh! I didn't wanna do any of..." He waved his hand and grimaced, looking about the room. Erotic art hung on the walls just like it did throughout all corners of Lullabi. "...Didn't wanna do any of what we're supposed to do. I wanted more, and I wasn't gonna be forced into it. Or _her_." His expression soured again. "The suit, I _heard_ , was a way out so I could live on my terms, and it worked great."

"Okay, you didn't want to do your ceremony and you just hightailed it out of Lullabi?" She raised a brow, surprised by this even though it was in the report. "Did you talk about this with anyone? Why did you think a suit would solve your problems?"

"No, course I didn't tell anyone! And I didn't think it would help, I knew it would. One of the whatsits, um, the Fates said so." He snapped his fingers trying to remember. "The chatty sister. The one with all the hair that does this whenever she talks." Fred waved his hand, mimicking flicking hair over his shoulder.

"Wait. So, the Fates said go to Ireland and take a suit?" Doubt colored her voice. "Did you go there planning to just take a suit?"

"No! Everything was legitimate, thank you! Anyway, the Fates said it would solve my problems. It was the best advice they could give for my situation." He shrugged.

"Legitimate? Why do I doubt that?" She rubbed her temples as she thought over this news. "The Fates wanted you to go to Ireland and get a suit. This is absurd. Even if the Fates approved the idea the council didn't, and now we have irate Irishmen ready to beat you to a pulp. I don't understand this at all."

"I dunno, but who am I to question Fate?" Fred grinned.

"You're here because all you've done is question Fate!" Her voice came out as an outraged squeak. "The Fates made you an incubus, and what do you do? Deny it!"

Fred huffed. "Well, Fate didn't seem to mind me questioning! And, ugh! How many more times am I gonna hear that one? Why does everyone keep sayin' I'm an incubus? Of course I _know_ what I am! I can see!" He rolled his eyes, his gaze landing on his naked lap. "Ugh!"

"Fates! Fatessssss!" She leaned forward. "There are three of them and they are probably wondering why you are questioning their decision! The decision that made you an incubus that you have consistently shown to be in denial about! So, why wouldn't everyone remind you when they see you? It's like a dog insisting it's a cat! It's a dog!"

"Pfft! I'm not a dog, or a cat!" Fred scratched his head. "Maybe the Fates," he said, emphasizing the last letter, "got it wrong at first and tried to remedy their mistake by offering their support." He smiled, smugly.

Felicia slapped her forehead. "They don't get things wrong! They're the Fates! They decide your life from beginning to end, well, we don't really have ends, but you get my point. You were always destined to be lilin, to be an incubus. Why are you pretending to be something else?"

"I'm an imaginary friend. Are you surprised?" He tilted his head, sporting an innocent grin.

"Oh, of course. Your _clothes_ just scream imaginary friend." She rolled her eyes. "Imaginary friend is a job title. You shouldn't- You won't be one anymore. Then what will you call yourself?"

Fred's expression dimmed and he stared at Felicia. The last thing he wanted was to remain lilin, to accept that the Fates had created him this way with the intention that's what he would always remain. He belonged in the mortal realm, and somehow he would prove it. "Fred," he answered. "I'll call myself Fred."

Her shoulders sagged. Representing him before the council would be the easy part. Showing him that he was an incubus and not human might kill her. The latter wasn't part of her job, but she felt like she had to help him. She just didn't know how.

"Look, we have a huge task before us. We just need to take things one thing at a time." She sighed, hoping that they had developed enough trust that he would listen to her next words. "I'm gonna ask a big favor. A huge one… Can you make an apology to the offended parties? A sincere apology?"

"Apologize?!" Fred's eyes widened. "Those blighters bit me! I'd have scars if it were actually possible for me to! Maybe they should apologize to me? I paid them for that suit. In full and then some! I was a guest and those crusty snots know it!"

Felicia let her head fall back and groaned. She should have known. "Can't you just fake it?" She sat upright, a hopeful look on her face.

"Nope! No way. I'm Drop Dead Fred! I don't fake anything. I wouldn't give 'em the satisfaction!" He lifted his chin and sulked.

Felicia resisted the urge to stomp her feet and whine. Fred was rubbing off on her. "You're so stubborn. Listen, I only know what is written here. They claim you assaulted them, physically and verbally. Now, given what I've read, and now know about you, I would say that isn't far off the mark. The theft and destruction of property is a bigger problem. Did you steal the suit?"

"Pfft! Course not! I gave them four barrels of beer and my conversation. Fair trade, if you ask me. Can I help it if some of 'em just couldn't hold their liquor? They're the rabble who got all bitey and started the brawl! So, I snatched my suit and left." He shrugged. "That's that."

"You're telling me they traded you a magic suit for beer and a chat?" Felicia frowned. "I don't know if that is a stereotype or bullshit."

"Both really, except it's bollocks they keep harassing me 'bout it. They've banned me from their country forever, and the mortal realm when it's St. Patty's Day. I also can't go within fifty feet of any rainbows. Isn't that enough? Honestly, who bans someone and then stalks them around, nattering about their dirty laundry for centuries?"

"So it's their word against yours. Fantastic." She rubbed her temples. "If I lose, my wife is going to never let me hear the end of it. 'You thought you would be a big shot, Licia. You said this will help our family.' Dammit, we can't lose! Lorcan, I need to know what happened during this transaction!"

Fred winced. "Family? Do you got kids?" He suddenly felt bad for her having to untangle all of his mess, so he tried his best to remember. Certain topics gave him a soft spot, as much as he didn't like to admit it.

"We're expecting, actually. My wife is beside herself and is decorating. She loves decorating. We have so many pillows on our bed. Uh, sorry, that was probably more than you needed to know." She quietly cleared her throat and Fred smiled.

"Trust me, I've heard worse. No, you're… very lucky." _Suppose I'll never get any of that with Lizzie._ The thought took him by surprise and he quickly cleared his throat, too.

Scratching his head, Fred added, "Uh, well, I remember showing up and asking if they had the suit. Those bastards laughed and prodded me a lot with ridiculous questions. Made fun of me for bein' an incubus who needed clothes. One of 'em flashed me! Said I needed to see how it's done! And when they found out why I needed the suit, they laughed even harder." He rolled his eyes. "So, I finally reasoned with 'em and offered a trade. Soon as they saw the barrels they made a break for 'em and started drinking. Even trade."

She winced. Her reports told her that their whole society looked at Fred as some kind of strange anomaly, someone to be laughed at. Now it seems a whole other group had laughed at him too. Guilt filled her and with it the desire to help him resurfaced.

"I'm sorry things have been hard and that everyone is always pointing out what's _wrong_ with you." She did air quotes and rolled her eyes. "With the exception of the, uh, Irishmen we just want to help you."

Something about Felicia's offer of help sounded different than other times he'd heard it. Usually it came attached with the idea that he had to change, to be exactly like all the other lilin, or like he was weird and broken. He never believed for one moment that they had intended to really help him, but the gentle way Felicia offered it reminded him of his mother and he knew it was true.

He frowned, suddenly realizing how much he missed her and wished she was here with him, too. With his guard dropping, Fred felt out of place even more than before and he tapped the table out of habit.

"As for the problem with the leprechauns," said Felicia, "there has to be a reason they are not letting this go. Treaty agreements are on the line." She pleaded with him, trying to make him understand. "If they can prove it wasn't an even trade, you can forget Lizzie. You'll be in Lullabi and she'll be just a memory."

Fred flinched. "Alright." He exhaled. "I'll do anything for Lizzie… How do we prove it? The suit's gone now. Can they really have evidence after this long?"

"I'm assuming there is no impartial witness who can magically turn up," she mumbled. She studied Fred. "Well, there is one way to show what happened, but I don't know how you're going to feel about it."

"If I'm still nude, then I promise to hate it, but go on."

She laughed. "I would expect nothing less." Fussing with her papers, she thought over what she wanted to say. "So, the, uh, way to show what happened in Ireland is to… look into your memories."

Fred winced. He hated when anyone looked into his head. "Of course. I come home, they take my clothes, and now wanna probe my brain. Sure. Why not complete the set? Sounds like a fun time." He rolled his eyes.

"At least it's painless." She gave him a toothy smile. "I mean, physically painless."

Fred snorted. "You've never been probed by my sister."

She blinked. "I'm married. And it's not a big deal. Just the whole council will see what happened. And the Irish. And whatever witnesses are present. I'm not selling this to you, am I?"

"No, but if it gets me back to Snotface I'll do it."

"Good, because if those leprechauns are just going to swear by their word, we'll need your memories. Moving on..." Felicia glanced over her papers again and spoke without looking up. "Your duties as imaginary friend... You seemed to have done a decent job. You were a little manic, but all in all you helped your charges. Until Miss Elizabeth Cronin, a.k.a. Snotface. So strange. Your assignment with her went awry, it seems." She looked up into Fred's eyes. "You keep going back to her. Why is that?"

"You're asking me something that's not really that simple to sum up, but I'll try." He sighed. "I've had a lot of charges, some who were just lonely, some who got abused, some who'd lost a parent, so Lizzie wasn't the worst case. Her mum scared the piss outta her and resented her. Her dad had tried leaving multiple times. She was one of those babies to save a marriage. God, I hated her bitch of a mother..." Anger flashed over his face and it took all his resolve not to rant.

"I can tell," Felicia said, with a wry smile, her brows raised. Fred smiled back.

"Don't get me started on that megabitch. Anyway, something was different about Lizzie. Didn't know what it was at first, since every kid bonded with me, but there was something…" He wrinkled his nose as he tried to find the word. "...temporary about the others. Yeah. Every one of 'em, even when they still needed me and believed, still wanted 'real' friends over me. They'd forget me soon as one came around. But not Lizzie." Fred smiled sadly at the memories. They seemed so fresh in his mind, making him miss those simpler moments.

This softer more serious side of Fred tugged at Felicia's heart. She could see he was a caring individual and he really cared about Lizzie. It made Felicia even more curious about the woman who had finally made the runaway incubus stop running.

"She always wanted me to play, too," Fred went on, "even when the other kids couldn't see me. It never mattered to her that I was invisible. I was just her best friend. Forever, she said, and she had these crazy plans to run away together when she grew up." His smile faded. "But I got ripped away from her because of my behavior…" The word soured on his tongue.

"Apparently, I'd gotten carried away too much trying to make her laugh. Lizzie _loved_ it when I smashed things, but did the IF council see it that way? Of course not! They got all up in arms thinking my nature was on the brink of snapping, so I got torn away! From a little girl who'd never understand why! No goodbyes, no anything! They made me leave her." Fred's voice strained and he couldn't speak for a moment.

In silence, Felicia studied his face. She experienced his emotions almost as if they were her own. Even if she couldn't have, she could tell from his voice and face alone what he felt inside, especially where Lizzie was concerned. It still surprised her that the 'Screw Up of Lullabi' was in love.

Clearing his throat, Fred spoke softer than before. "Worst of all, those blighters wouldn't let me go back even after it got cleared up because her father had left. And why did that matter? Because I'm an incubus and they feared my nature would wanna console Lizzie's mum! I'd never heard anything so disgusting!" he shouted. "I'd never, ever, ever once thought about it and never, ever would! Ugh! Just the suggestion still makes me wanna puke!"

"I know it seems unfair, but you're a rogue." She shrugged her shoulder. "They had to put the mortals' safety above everything else." She winced at herself. "Sorry, I tend to sound preachy when it comes to rules. I'm sorry you got taken away from her like that."

"Thanks," he said, surprised again by her sentiment. He'd never had anyone understand what he had gone through. Every pain over losing Lizzie had stayed buried inside him. "You know, when you stop preaching you actually sound like a person." He smiled.

Felicia let out a loud burst of laughter. "I know, I know. All work and no play makes Felicia a dull girl." She laughed again. "I do know how to have fun. I like music and I like to dance." Tilting her head, she looked at Fred through a narrowed gaze. "You're pretty easy to talk to… when you're not being an insane, imaginary friend, slash sex-deprived incubus. I see why Lizzie likes you."

Fred blushed and tapped his fingers on the table. "Yeah, well, thanks. Let's just hope she still feels that way when tonight's through and doesn't just see a sex-deprived incubus…" He went quiet again. What if she didn't want anything to do with him now that she knew what he was firsthand?

When Fred fell quiet, Felicia studied him again. It was easy to just think of him as Lullabi's misfit, but he was just an incubus trying to navigate things his own way. He loved someone and it was complicated. Really complicated.

"You've known her a long time," she said. "Even though there's a new side of you that she doesn't know, you're still the friend she's known since she was little. She'll at least hear your story even if I have to go tell her myself," she said with a laugh.

"Thanks. Might have to hire you for that," he said, trying to ignore the ache in his chest. "She can be very stubborn when she's upset, especially with me." He paused and looked at Felicia, softly. "You know, you kinda remind me of her. She tries to take everything seriously, too. Says I play around too much, too, actually."

"You? Play around too much? Perish the thought." She laughed. "I suppose when it comes to you someone needs to be serious."

He laughed. "And someone like you needs someone like me to remind ya to smash things every once in a while," he said, winking at her.

Shaking her head, she chuckled. "No. I don't need to smash things. That's why I dance. It helps me unwind. Maybe you should consider that instead of your way. I bet it'd get you in less trouble. You could dance with Lizzie." She grinned. "Speaking of… you went back to her, but you shouldn't have, or shouldn't have been able to. Explain. Please."

Fred couldn't help smiling at the idea of dancing with Lizzie, mostly because he loved the thought of having an excuse to hold her close. "Um… right that. No, I wasn't supposed to go back. I'm sure it's in that file of yours, but because I'm an incubus-" Fred gave her a teasing stare. "See, I do remember. They made a special rule that I couldn't go back like all the other IFs, should any of my former charges need me. The grown up ones, I mean."

"So, what you're saying is you broke the rules. Knowingly." She crossed her arms over her chest and stared at him.

Fred leaned back and eyed her. "You're not about to scold me, are you?"

"I feel like I should on principle." She sighed. "Let's move past that for a moment. How was that even possible? Why weren't you reassigned?"

He shrugged. "I dunno. Guess lines got crossed. I got pulled back in a blink, not out of choice. Trust me…" His eyes widened. "I was _really_ surprised when I saw her all grown up. For a couple of reasons," he muttered. Fred remembered how his heart had stopped when he first saw her, sitting in her nightgown on her bed. She'd been indescribable. "Scared the piss outta me."

Felicia snickered. "I'll bet, but why didn't they notice?"

"Who knows. I didn't ask. Why stir the pot?"

She waved a hand between them. "This is why. It's all coming back to bite your naked ass."

"Oi! Leave my naked ass outta this!" He pointed at her and cringed.

Felicia hid her smirk. He really was forgetting he was naked. It was a good sign. "Regardless of their incompetence, you still had a duty to report it. It's one of the charges against you." She tapped her papers and Fred sneered at them.

"Look." He sighed. "I was gonna go, honest, and you know the last thing I'd ever do is to jeopardize my job. I may be a screw up, but I love what I do. It's just… I felt her pain. How much she still needed me. I'd never felt her so scared and alone… and all I could think was that it was my fault. I'd left her so quick before, and… I, I just couldn't go because-" He winced, remembering her wide eyes and her hope when she'd first seen him that night. "Because she was still my Snotface. There was this tiny piece inside her still glad to see me, that wanted me to fix it all. She needed me. So, I promised myself I'd just make it quick, help her, and go. For good. Thought it'd be simple to fix her life with her being grown up. Boy, was I wrong."

"While I commend you for wanting to help her, I'm having trouble figuring out how you were going to help a grown woman with her problems. I don't picture you as a life coach." She scrunched her nose as she tried picturing it, but all she imagined was him smashing things to bits.

"I'm really surprised they let you go back to an adult woman. If they didn't catch it right away, why didn't they do something after? Perhaps that was someone's oversight. I should look into this…" She looked up, a blush in her cheeks. "Sorry, work is never done. Please go on."

"Had to be an oversight." He shrugged. "But I try not to think about it too much. That's someone else's department."

Pausing, she thought over what he just said. "You- I- Well, that explains a lot."

"Look, if it makes you feel better, I promise I tried to do the right thing. Even set her up with her old childhood chum so she could move on and I could get back to being an IF... You've no idea how sick that made me! Playing by the sodding rules. Rather perverse, honestly, but I did it for her. Even when-" The weight of Fred's feelings silenced him and he frowned, tracing the wood's pattern on the tabletop. The color reminded him of Lizzie's eyes.

Felicia smiled at the way he spoke about Lizzie. It transformed him and it still shocked her that the incubus who had been hiding his nudity in the corner and ran away from sex was head over heels in love.

"You know, she and I really aren't all that different... We're both outcasts. We don't wanna be like everyone else tells us, and she won't admit it, but she still loves breaking things." His nose crinkled with his smirk, but he quickly turned serious again. "She's the most caring, brave, bright, and stubborn woman there is, and she doesn't even realize it. Well, maybe the stubborn bit…"

He focused on Felicia. "And surprisingly, I'm not so clueless I missed the warning bells about myself. I almost left a few times, actually… but the more I saw how much love she had in her, and felt what she needed, and what no one else wanted to see in her, the more I realized I wanted it... I even needed it. I just… I need her," he breathed, closing his eyes. His confession made his heart ache. He craved Lizzie's love more than he craved her body and every day it grew worse.

Nodding, Felicia frowned, her eyes shining with tears. She could feel everything as he spoke and it touched her that he had found something so special with a mortal woman.

"But I finished the job, and I said goodbye. Forever," he said, their kiss playing in his mind, melding with Lizzie's dream and warming his body. It had been sheer bliss. She'd needed him so much that looking back he couldn't tell his own desire from hers. Her touch, her essence, her desperate kisses still lingered on his skin and her plea to stay echoed in his mind. Both in dream and reality she'd wanted him to go back with her. What if it had been for more reasons than he'd realized?

An ache spread through his soul to be near her again and he wrapped his arms around himself. Again the sensation felt like it came from her. Gasping, Fred dug his fingernails against his shoulders, fighting the call to go back to her. His body trembled the harder he resisted and he laid his head on the table, eyes squeezed shut. This pull felt different than lust, almost like he needed to go to her so he could breathe again. He'd felt the same way before he'd sought help from his sister and now it almost seemed worse. "Bloody hell, not again! What is that?" he whispered, hoarsely.

Shaken, Felicia felt his emotions and his need so strongly they seemed as her own. Summoning her magic, she sent his desires away from her. Her powers floated through the air as black smoke and swirled around Fred, pushing at his need until it became nothing more than a small pulse inside him. Relieved, she watched and waited as his breathing returned to normal. She suspected this all had to do with Lizzie, but for him to still feel this way while in Lullabi concerned her.

Not wanting to worry Fred, she decided to keep it to herself until his examination presented answers. "I can tell how much she means to you, and not just because I can feel it. I'm sorry you've had to go through so much. To leave the person you love…" She shook her head. "I can't imagine. That time away from her must have been unbearable."

Lifting his head, Fred sat back in confusion from Felicia's gesture to soothe his desires. He hadn't expected her assistance, and ordinarily he hated any lilin magic touching him, but even he had to admit he'd needed help. Any longer and he might have climbed the walls. "Thanks," he said, nodding. "And yeah, it was the worst."

Glancing down at her papers, which she knew backwards and forwards, Felicia knew what had come next. "You couldn't stay away forever, so you went back and told her everything." She let out a low whistle. "That's a lot to drop on someone's doorstep, especially after six months." She shook her head. "So, in your words, how'd she take your news?"

"Well, she…" Fred hesitated and pursed his lips. "She took it better than she'd take a swarm of hornets up her knickers, I suppose…" He smiled, sheepishly and cleared his throat.

"Somehow I doubt that." She frowned. "What did you do to her?" She knew the answer, but she wanted to know what he thought about what had happened.

"Nothing!"

"Now I know that's a lie." She held up a finger and shook it at him. "Any time the answer to, 'What did you do?' is, 'Nothing,' you know that person did something wrong. As your lawyer I need the truth." She watched him roll his eyes and whine like a child. Felicia crossed her arms. Of course he'd whine on principle.

"You just won't stop with the nagging, will you?" he cried. "Don't you got enough material on me in that book?" Fred slouched. "Ugh, fine! All I _did_ was dress as a ghost, banged on her door, asked for treats, mentioned I was an incubus, and told her I liked her." He shrugged. "Is that a crime?"

"All you did was… dress as ghost? For fornication's sake, why? Why would you- You know what, never mind. You just unloaded all your incubus baggage at her feet? Seriously? I know I've said this before, but did you not learn anything in school? You're not supposed to tell mortals about lilin, or our world, or anything. I'm surprised she didn't lose her damn mind right then. I would say all of what you did is a crime, even if it wasn't actually a crime." She set her arms on the table and buried her face in them. "Why?"

Fred's mouth fell open and he tilted his head. _Oh god, I broke her._ "Well, it didn't sound so bad at the time," he remarked, but his statement sounded more like a question. Felicia looked so upset that Fred wasn't sure he should say any more. He hated when girls got that strained tremble in their voice that sounded way too close to crying. "Um…" He reached out, hesitated, but patted her hand.

At his touch, Felicia slowly sat up. He was actually trying to console her. The idea seemed strange, but still welcome. "Thank you," she murmured, still processing the contact that he had initiated. "I'm sorry I was upset. I suppose the romantic in me was appalled by what you did, and the lawyer in me is even more horrified. I'm sure you did mean well, but now we have a slew of charges to deal with due to that and the, uh, following incidents."

Pulling his hand away, Fred nodded. "If it helps your romantic, I didn't go there as a romantic-thing. Not to start, anyway. I meant to show up as her friend so I didn't dump everything at once. Planned to ease into that bit after seeing how she took my being back at all, and the… lilin thing. It just… didn't go like I'd hoped." He frowned, the 'incident' and Felicia's words sticking in his mind. "I can show you what happened. If you like," he said, raising a brow. Felicia had been honest with him, and while Shea had seen his confession to Lizzie, Felicia might offer an insight very different from his sister.

"I think my inner romantic is sad, but she'll get over it. I understand that you wanted to ease into things, but telling a mortal about lilins and Lullabi is a huge deal." She sighed. He was not making things easy for himself or her. "You want to show me? Well, it'll probably speed things along, and save us from more awkward conversations." She nodded and leaned forward. "Go ahead."

"I'm all for that." Reaching out, Fred placed his hand against Felicia's temple and let her see his visit to Lizzie's apartment. Every detail played out in a blink and when it ended, he withdrew his hand.

Gasping, Felicia shook her head. "That was sensory overload," she whispered, her gaze out of focus. "I don't know if you in a sheet is better or worse than I imagined." She winced. "Definitely glad we don't get headaches. I have mixed feelings about that scenario. I know your feelings, and your intent, and how much Lizzie means to you. I get that sneak peek, so it softens the blow. Lizzie didn't get that." Felicia sighed. "You're between a rock and a hard place. A really hard place. You were at the point where you had to tell her and I think you went for the rip the Band-Aid off method. Unfortunately, it didn't work so well and I'm sorry that it didn't. I hope you do get your chance to go back to her and tell her how you feel."

"Thanks… Me, too," said Fred. He hadn't thought about how much Lizzie wouldn't have been able to know when he confessed his feelings for her and he suddenly felt like the biggest idiot. _Maybe I'll have to do something about that._

Gathering her stack of papers, Felicia tapped them on the table and placed them in an even pile. "I keep asking you all these questions because I need to know what happened if I'm going to help. And in the spirit of honesty, I am also morbidly curious." She held up a hand, keeping him from saying anything. "Mainly, my purpose is to see how you answer because if you can't answer the council honestly, how will they take you seriously? I promise I am on your side. And I know you're upset and you aren't aware of all the laws and the impact of what you did, but thank you for letting me see what happened. That was personal and I'm honored you shared it with me."

Fred tried hard not to smile, but Felicia's support and kind words made it impossible. "Thanks," he said, nervously tapping the table and staring at her stack of papers. "For your help. With everything, I mean. I'll try to make it worth it," he whispered and cleared his throat. Speaking in his normal tone, he added, "But I hope you're not expecting a hug." He sneered, but it appeared too playful to display disgust.

Grinning, Felicia leaned forward. "Oh, I'd hug you, but you'd turn an even darker shade of red and you might faint." She laughed. "I think not having that suit is helping. You're much easier to talk to. Now we just need to make the council see eye to eye with us."

"Ha, ha! I'd certainly never faint over your girl cooties!" he said, but leaned away just in case she made an attempt at hugging him. He found her remark about not having the suit making things easier to talk to him strange. Was he acting any different? He glanced down at himself, but quickly looked back up and groaned. _I'll never get use to that sight._

Felicia rolled her eyes. "You've been doing so well. Being naked isn't something to even worry about." She sighed and turned her gaze to the ceiling. "I don't know how they'll not notice if you blush and fuss every time you see naked lilin." She looked at Fred, a frown on her face. "You don't notice it when you're talking. You seem to forget about it. Will you be able to in there with the council?"

"I do not blush!" He pulled a face. "It just feels unnatural to me not having clothes. How can I forget all I've got left is a smile?" he cried, her accusation rattling him. What if she had a point? _Am I really forgetting?_ he wondered. _Fuck, I can't start forgetting! I'll start acting like them!_ His heart pounded in his ears. How long had they talked without him noticing? "Maybe I just didn't bring it up 'cuz I was hoping you'd forget?"

Drumming her fingers on the table, Felicia thought about how she might help him. He needed to see himself becoming more comfortable in his own skin and that it wasn't bad. She just had to make sure she didn't push him too hard and send him back to being a prude.

"I want to help you, you know that. Do you think I'm some kind of monster? Do you think being a lilin and having our abilities is terrible? It helps people, namely mortals. We're not evil and there's nothing wrong with being comfortable without clothes. There's even mortals who are like that." She bit her lip, hoping she'd chosen the right direction. "I know you stop noticing it, because you stop fidgeting and trying to cover yourself, and you look at me without trying to avoid looking at my breasts. Remember our talk about not fighting the Fates? Stop fighting and start living."

Fred crossed his arms and stared at the table. Why did this topic always come up whenever he came home? Did the council pass around a script so every lilin knew what to say to him about his life? _They could save time with a pamphlet._ His jaw clenched.

"And there's also nothing wrong with wanting to help mortals in other ways," he said. "I know you're trying to help, and might not think what I've done with my life is anything good, that it's just pretend, but I've loved every second of it. It's important to me, all those kids were, whether I'm supposed to be something else or not. I've had a real life, and helped people, and it's been great. I don't wanna do the whole incubus thing. The Fates can spin some trousers into my future."

Felicia clenched her fists. He was so stubborn it nearly drove her insane. "No, there's nothing wrong with helping mortals. You did that very well, but that's over for you now. You're not going back to helping children. The only way you'll get to help people is by being an incubus, and if you want Lizzie… it's not going to be as an imaginary friend, or a human, because you aren't either. You need to accept that. I know you're fond of humanity and that's admirable. You march to the beat of your own drummer and that's not inherently wrong. But the refusal to complete your ceremony and the rule breaking is something else entirely. The traditionalists don't like it. The Office of Lilin Affairs, less so."

"Pfft! Like I care what those tra-prick-tionalists think! I'm Drop Dead Fred. Have been for nearly three centuries. Helped lotsa kids this way, and I'll have you know I'm very proud of dodging the shag bullet!" Fred's mind flashed back to Lila and her suggestion to lay his head on her 'bosom of love' and he shuddered. _That's gonna haunt me._ "I'm not doing the ceremony. Lizzie's not gonna see this side of me again. No one is. I'll find a way."

Resisting the urge to bang her head on the table or reach over and strangle him, Felicia took a deep breath. He was stubborn to a fault. "I think you mean you're proud you've dodged the shag bullet with Lila. I saw in your head. You can't apply that to Lizzie." She sighed. "Are you going to be Lullabi's first lilin monk? Are you going to take vows of chastity? That is ridiculous. The only way you're going to find is a way to piss off the council." Running her hands over her face, she thought over her options. Tranquilizing him was not an option, but tempting. How could she convince the lifelong virgin to have sex before the council demanded it? All she knew was, Lizzie was the key.

"Chastity? Why would I vow anything to her? I don't even know her." Fred rolled his eyes. "And, oh yes, let's not piss off the council." He waved his hands in the air. "Those wankers spend their time thinking about me way too much, if you ask me. Are you sure after so long they're not just pissed in general 'bout every little thing?"

"Are you afraid Chastity would take your virginity?" She rolled her eyes. He was just being a brat now. "They're concerned about you because you're the only sex demon who isn't having sex!" Her voice neared a shout and it was unlike her, but she was having trouble maintaining her volume control. "They're pissed off because you keep making trouble! Why don't you just have sex and we can all get on with our lives?"

"Yeah, well, maybe they're just pissed off because they're demons!" Fred's fists clenched. He hated that word. Every time he lusted, or had to feed that word wouldn't leave his mind. Demon. "I'm not having sex and they can't make me! With Lila, or Chastity, or anyone else!"

"The only one who is pissed off about being a demon, is you," she spoke at her normal volume. She was close to making him see sex wasn't bad, she was sure of it. "So, does sex with Lizzie not interest you anymore? You're just going to forget about her?"

Confusion replaced his anger. "That's- What?" He choked. "No! I mean, I'm not gonna forget about her." _Why's she asking this?_ He blushed and fidgeted, unable to get another word out of his mouth.

Smiling, Felicia made a note to herself to bring up Lizzie in sexual situations more often. "I didn't think so. It would be terrible to forget about the woman you love. If you ever want to be with her again you need to reconsider having sex."

"Ugh!" Fred pulled a face. "Gross! I'm not fucking any succubi!" He caught the odd expression on Felicia's face, and realized her unspoken question. "No incubi, either! My dad already asked that once." Rolling his eyes, Fred still couldn't believe he'd had that conversation. He sighed, leaning back as he tried to think of how to explain everything in a way that a lilin might finally understand. He was rather tired of getting the same, old speech about just doing it because it 'was no big deal.' "Look, I have my reasons why I've avoided doing it, it's just hard to explain 'em."

She rolled her eyes and sighed. "Really? That part is accurate? You have some hang up about sticking your penis in a vagina? Why is sex so repugnant to you? From my notes here you've basically done everything, but that. Why can't you just find a nice succubus and fuck each other blind? It's so simple. Honestly. Usually men want to lose their virginity, not keep it." She sighed again. "I may need to call in a favor or two."

"Uh, uh! Hold it," he said, waving a finger. "I'd love to help you win this and get outta here, but I'm not doing it with anyone!"

She let her head fall back and she groaned. "You were just whining about the council being all over your naked ass." She sat up and met his gaze. "The fact that you're not an authorized incubus is a thorn in their side. One they want to remedy as quickly as possible. I'm sure they'll want to whisk you away and get you laid posthaste. That's why I'm bringing this up. I think if we can spin this into a positive story we'll have this sorted out in no time flat. An incubus redeemed, something like that."

"Wait- Can they do that?!" He gaped. "They wouldn't really... They can't make me! I'm not ready! I call for a timeout immediately!"

Slapping her forehead, she sighed. _It's like he's five-years-old._ "You were the one treating this like some game. 'I don't have to do what anyone says! Sex is gross! Cooties!' I feel like a babysitter, not a lawyer. Please, work with me before the council takes away all your options."

"I don't sound like that," he mumbled, looking down. He knew he'd been difficult on purpose for centuries. It was as strong an impulse as his incubus nature, but her last words left him worried. "Surprisingly, I know not everything's a game, but it's how I get through it."

Sitting up straighter, he met Felicia's eyes with complete seriousness. "Alright. Here's the truth…" He took a deep breath. "It's not that sex grosses me out and makes me puke. I'd..." He fidgeted, trying to force out the words. "I'd very much like to do it, actually." It sounded strange to say that aloud. "So, that's not the issue."

Felicia resisted the urge to throw her hands in the air and scream in triumph. _Finally, we're getting somewhere._ "I appreciate your candor. It's nice to know there is a somewhat reasonable incubus under all the…" She waved a hand up and down. "...eccentricity. That being said, you do have to address the issue of being a virgin. I'm so glad to hear that sex interests you. What will it take to make this happen? Is there anything I can do to help? I mean, advice not…" She made a face. "Sorry, that came out weird. I meant, can I offer any advice, or is there someone you'd like to talk to?"

Fred laughed at her poor choice of words. It was nice to see someone so put together make a mistake after tonight. He didn't feel so alone and a compliment wasn't bad either, but his smile faded when she brought up his virginity again. He knew the council would press on it to avoid any further incidents. They had threatened it for years, he'd just liked living in denial. "Um..." He wrung his hands together. "There's one way you can help. I'll only go through with it if it's with Lizzie."

Her jaw dropped. "You don't ask much, do you? This is… I don't know if a signed permission slip from the Fates would make that happen."

"Can we get one?" he asked, hopeful, but Felicia gave him a look.

"Do I look like a fairy godmother?"

"I dunno. I never paid attention to those parts of the stories."

"Of course not," she muttered. "That would require you to listen and not smash things."

"Well, I'm listening now and I promise not to smash Lizzie." He smiled.

"I'm sure she'll be thrilled." She rolled her eyes. "I don't want to burst your sex bubble, but the council is not about to grant you, of all lilin, a favor this huge."

"Then I'm not doing what they want." He crossed his arms. "I love her. I couldn't do it with someone else. I wanna real shot with her, not just sex. Those are my terms. If that's not good enough for the council, then they should think about it this way: she's human. The rules they love so much are different from her perspective. Plus, she knows I'm a virgin. If I did it with anyone else it'd shatter her trust! Her bastard husband cheated on her. I won't turn around and do it too whether or not we're together. I'd lose her for good. So, nope. I'm saving myself for her, thank you." His expression softened with worry.

His words left Felicia speechless. For someone who had refused to have sex he had put a lot of thought into it. It was noble what he wanted, but she didn't see how to make it happen.

"But I also wanna make it clear, I'll only do it if she'll have me," he added, quietly, "and only if she loves me back first. I don't want my powers confusing her. I need her to be sure how she feels. Her happiness is important to me. She deserves that." He looked at Felicia in sadness. "Please. I know they don't like first times to be with mortals, but isn't there something you can do?"

Seeing the broken expression on his face, had Felicia feeling like she was the one who had denied him Lizzie. "I can't promise you anything. I have no say, no pull with the council. On one hand, the council will get what they want. On the other hand, first time sex with a mortal is prohibited. But on the other hand, if she loves you and you love her it could be an ideal situation." She stared at him in silence. "It's just that you're not an approved incubus. Before we even worry about the council. What about Lizzie? Do you know how she feels? Do you have any indication that she might reciprocate your feelings?"

Taking a deep breath, Fred tried ignoring his growing fear that the council would deny his request, or that Lizzie might reject him. "Um, no, I'm not certain how she feels 'bout me. We're supposed to talk tomorrow night. It's… complicated?" Fred cringed. Complicated sounded like an understatement at this point. "'Cept, I didn't start that dream she had of me," he said, thinking aloud. "And she called out to me first from her sleep. That's why I went in- I'm right that mortals can't actually summon us, right?" He shook his head. "Anyway, I'd like that last part in the record." He pointed at her papers and tapped the table. "I didn't know I was in for dinner and a show."

Felicia stared at him. Fred had this uncanny ability to make things insanely complicated. It seemed so outrageous that someone might accuse her of making it up, or using poetic license. _Truth is stranger than fiction,_ she thought, but only Fred seemed to possess this gift - or curse. Currently, Felicia leaned more toward curse.

"I would love to ignore your actions on this, but the council is aware. They are aware of everything you have ever done. I don't understand mortals summoning imaginary friends, but they can't summon lilin. It's Greek to me. From what I can tell in my reports, it shouldn't have happened. You were already reassigned. I'm sure the IF people will give us their explanation…" She thought this over. "Unless they want to pretend they didn't screw up and try to blame it all on you."

"I'm sure they'll try it." Fred rolled his eyes and tapped a steady tune on the table. Everything Felicia said was as he expected, but he still didn't understand why he remained connected to Lizzie, or why no one else could tell him how. It strengthened his suspicion that it meant something important, and whatever the reason the connection held, he didn't want to ever lose it.

"I'll have to listen closely to what they say. As for your dinner and a show… was it a good show?" She was dying to know what had happened and see his reaction after the fact. It had to have been worth it from the tint of his blushes, and if how much trouble he had gotten into was any indicator.

Fred's fingertips took a noticeable slip over the table. Mouth open, he stared at Felicia, hoping his red hair hid his burning ears from her gaze. _A good show? I'd ruddy well see it again and join in_ , he thought, his traitorous body heating up again. _Ugh. I need an off switch!_

"Um... Well, I'm here because of it, aren't I?" He gulped. "It- She... Lizzie, she's got a good imagination and..." He thought back to her mouth needing his and her soft breast molded into his palm at the end of her dream. His real hand at last, instead of Lizzie's dream of him. "And everything."

When his desire for Lizzie rose again, Felicia looked closely at his face. His reaction confirmed her suspicions and she hid a smirk behind her hand. "I know the reasons for you being here, even if I don't have the exact details. Again, it's my burning curiosity, but I also need to know the facts so I can help you." She smiled. "Whether Lizzie is aware of it or not, there is something between you both. I would just like to know if it's lust or love. If they will let us look into her feelings, then maybe you'll have a shot. I will do my best to get that for you, but I don't want you to get your hopes up." She looked into his eyes. He had to know it was a trillion to one and she didn't want him filled with false hope. "I don't think the council is inclined to do you any favors right now."

Fred looked back into Felicia's eyes, worry mounting inside him that surpassed his lust for Lizzie. He didn't expect Lizzie to be in love with him after just announcing he was a real person, but until now he hadn't considered she might already lust after him. When they'd sat together on the sofa tonight he had felt a hint of desire emerge from her, but he'd brushed it off. Combining that with her dream, now he wondered if it were true. _Announcing I'm a sex demon probably didn't help_ , he thought, but he feared the dream had made it worse. What if her lust prevented her from falling in love with him? It didn't matter what the council said if that happened...

"Back to your connection..." said Felicia. "It is mentioned as a charge against you. You failed to close the link between you both. Walk me through that."

Taking a deep breath, Fred shrugged. "It's like I said. I couldn't close it. Once the job was done and I said goodbye, I did like always. Tried it three times. Even went back while Lizzie was asleep and tried again. The link wouldn't break. They can't charge me for stubborn magic."

"Did you let your superiors know there was an issue?" The imaginary friend connection and all it entailed remained foreign to her. "I don't know why it would refuse to close."

"That makes two of us," he said. "And no! I'm not so crazy to tell that lot! They'd have quarantined me again and stuck Lizzie in a chastity belt, surrounded by nuns and a moat of holy water for even speaking to her in the first place!" He rolled his eyes. _And I bet there'd be crocodiles, too. Or maybe just the Megabitch._

Drumming her fingers on the table with one hand, she chewed on the nails of her other hand. "Can anyone confirm that you tried to close the link, then? As far as they are concerned you never bothered, so that's a bit of a problem."

"Just one."

Waving a hand at Fred, she waited a beat. "Well? Who?"

"I don't wanna say."

Her drumming resumed. "Spit it out!"

"Alright, alright! I went to Namby Pamby for help, but you can't tell her about this. None of my friends know what I am!"

"I'm sorry… you told who now?" She tilted her head, directing her left ear at Fred as if it might help her hear better. "Is that really her name?"

"Gross, huh?" He laughed. "That's her name. She's an IF. Wears a tutu, likes to squash me every chance she gets." He made a face. "Anyway, Drop Dead Fred's way better sounding."

Shaking her head, she frowned at this information. "Well, I don't know if that is a help, or a hindrance. Um, I don't know how to tell you this, but your former, uh, colleagues will be in attendance. Character witnesses. It takes on a whole, new meaning after hearing the name Namby Pamby." She wrinkled her nose.

"But I'm nude!" he cried. "They can't be here! They'll see _everything_!" He glanced down at his lap, his expression twisting in mortification. "No. Nope. That's it! I'm staying in here! Tell them I'm sick. Just make them go away."

She dropped her head back and sighed. "Stop being a prude. That's not in my purview. They could help you. They know what's it like to help children and they know what you've done for your charges. And if this Namby Pamby…" She paused and made a face. "...can help in regards to the link you can't close, then I need to ask her about it."

A knock interrupted her.

"One moment."

Felicia stood and went to the door, opening it a fraction and peering out. She spoke something to whoever was outside, but Fred couldn't make it out. His apprehensions grew as she closed the door and turned back to him looking worried.

"They want to start soon. I need to go speak to someone. I'll be back. Don't worry, Lorcan. We'll get you back to Lizzie."

He didn't say anything, but nodded. What else could he say? He was moments away from a courtroom ready to stop him from ever seeing Lizzie again.

Felicia hurriedly gathered her papers. "I'll be back as quick as I can. Hang in there." She walked around the table, gave his shoulder a squeeze, and left the room.

"Hang in there?" he mumbled to himself. "I'll be hanging _out_ in the council room in a moment." He sighed loud, tussling his hair. "This is why I don't come home."

* * *

In the hall, a tall incubus paced. He looked up when the nearby door opened and closed, his eyes beholding Felicia with such intensity she winced.

"Easy with the death glare," she said, waving him off as he stepped forward. He peered down at her, which still seemed impressive to Felicia, given her above average height. He crossed his thick arms over his broad chest, and raised his brows.

"It's complicated." She sighed. "I do have hope, though." Felicia looked around the hall, but saw no one else. "Let's go into this other room. Just in case. You never know who might be listening." She gave a quick knock on the door to their left and opened it when no one responded. Stepping in, the silent incubus followed her and once the door closed, she spun and faced him.

"He's in love, Andras. I did not see that coming. This could help him. He loves that mortal woman he has known for such a long time. She-"

She was cut off by his upheld hand.

"Lorcan is in love?" He scoffed at the notion, his deep voice reminding her of a bear. "Did he tell you this? Did he also tell you he ran away from home, pissed off the entire council, made his mother upset, and refuses to speak to me at all?"

"Well, once we broke the ice and I could get a straight answer out of him, yes." She crossed her arms over her chest and glared at him. "Are you thinking that he's making this up? He is not purposely doing things to piss you off."

"Isn't he?" He glared right back at her.

"Stop glaring! I swear if we weren't friends I would knock you on your ass just to get through to you." She pursed her lips and continued glaring. "Like father, like son," she mumbled. A hint of a smile appeared on his bearded face.

"That's why we're friends. You don't put up with my attitude. And thank you for taking this case. I know it's asking a lot. Probably too much of you."

She sighed and dropped her arms to her sides. "I owe you a lot. I would have gotten kicked out of practicing law and I'd be disgraced. You helped me when no one would."

He waved a hand at her. "Stop thanking me for that every time we speak. I'm not a saint, Felicia. Ask my son." He grumbled the last part.

"I swear the two of you need to sit down and talk all of this out. Both of you think the other is out to get them." She waved her arms. "Just talk! You just want to help him and I think he wants to be respected in your eyes. Even if he would never admit to it. He's been on his own for a long time. That's not easy." She looked at Andras. "He thinks you hate him and view him as a giant screw up that is the black sheep of the family."

"He's not entirely wrong." When Felicia stared open-mouthed at him he rolled his eyes. "I don't hate him!" He held his hands out toward her when she looked less than convinced. "Felicia, he is my son. Do I loathe his life choices? Yes. Am I ashamed that he is a virgin and can't talk about sex without cringing? Don't tell Calliope, but I am. He just kept making terrible decision after terrible decision and no one could talk him out of it. Not even Calliope or Scheherazade." He exhaled a long breathe.

"I've tried to do what I could. I pulled those strings to get him to be an IF. It was better than them putting him in a damn box. I tried to smooth over that bullshit with the suit, but those fucking leprechauns aren't letting this one go. Little bastards."

"I'll do my best to deal with that," said Felicia. "Apparently there was a fair trade, but with Lorcan I don't know if his stories are completely true." At the sardonic look she got from Andras she laughed. "I know, I know. He can embellish and be dramatic, but he loves Lizzie. I could feel it. Now, whether she loves him back remains to be seen." She rubbed her chin. "Maybe your daughter can do some sleuthing for me."

"If she can help her brother she'll do whatever you want." Andras said, a half-smile emerging despite his ire at his son. "She protects him fiercely and tells me off for letting him think I don't want him home." He sighed. "It just became easier after so long. How can you tell your children that you failed as a parent?"

Felicia gasped. "You did not fail!" She stepped forward and placed a hand on his arm. "You love all your children. I've seen it. You may not have handled Lorcan in the best way, but at least you tried. Now's your chance." She indicated with her eyes where Lorcan waited for her in the next room.

Andras shook his head. "What am I going to say to him? He'll probably mouth off and say I ruined his life." He scratched his chin, pulling on his beard as he thought of his son. "Of all my children, he pushes my buttons the most and it's continuous."

"I've met him. I believe it." She grinned. "And yet I can't help wonder where he gets it from."

"I don't push buttons." He growled.

"Tomayto, tomahto," she replied, still grinning.

"Now who's pushing buttons?"

She laughed. "It's something about being around Lorcan and you. I just can't seem to help myself. He's really not bad, once you get past the petulant, whiny, jerk part of him."

"Ha!" Andras' bark of laughter, made her jump.

"He even said he would have sex. Of course, he added a stipulation because that seems typical of him, but he seemed very interested… What?" Andras' mouth had fallen open and he stared in stunned silence. "What? Are you that shocked that he would want to have sex? He's an incubus for crying out loud!"

"An incubus who has been running from sex for the better part of three centuries!" The volume at which he shouted was almost deafening.

Clamping her hands over her ears, Felicia hurried backwards. "Ow! Could you speak at a normal level like a civilized person? You don't have to roar at me!"

"Sorry," he mumbled, rubbing the back of his neck. "Can you see why he and I don't get on? He makes me irate."

"Maybe you need to take up meditating. Do some yoga? You really need to learn to relax. Everyone and their eardrums would thank you." She still had not removed her hands from her ears.

"Very amusing. Put your hands down," he grumbled, but made sure to lower his voice.

"Thank you." She lowered her hands. "Now, please don't lose it over this next part. He only wants to have sex if he can have it with the mortal. And… only if she wants to have sex with him." She readied her hands in case she needed to cover her ears again.

Andras' face turned red. He opened his mouth to tell her what he thought of that, but immediately closed it when Felicia winced. Sighing, he rolled his eyes and took a deep breath. He waited several beats and then slowly let it out.

"Felicia, that is the stupidest thing I have ever heard." His voice grew louder. "What is he thinking? I can't believe that for once he is thinking with his dick and not his brain! Does he even know-" He sighed at Felicia motioning him to lower his voice and he resumed at a normal volume. "Does he even know what that would entail? The council is not going to let some, some out of control, misfit incubus fuck a mortal woman when he's never had sex before. I- I swear to Bacchus that boy just wants me to have a heart attack and drop dead! If I was a mortal I probably would have already!"

"Okay! Okay! Stop yelling!" Felicia shouted back, fed up with his roaring. "I told him it was a long shot, so you can stop yelling at me!"

"Alright, alright. I'm sorry." Andras scratched his chin as he paced around the room. "Can he be convinced to have sex with a succubus? Lila has been dying to take his virginity for years. I know she saw him."

Grimacing, Felicia shook her head. "No. I don't think that's an option. And Lila? Lila who works for the council Lila? She really still has a thing for Lorcan?" She made a face. "I guess she's pretty enough, but I always found her…"

"Repugnant?" Andras suggested.

"No! That's a bit strong. She's just too needy. Lorcan would never go for someone like her. Maybe if we could find a succubus like Lizzie he could be convinced it's in his best interest?" She looked unconvinced by her own suggestion.

"He wouldn't listen to his own family, so I doubt he'd listen to you."

"Hey! We happen to have a rapport," she said, crossing her arms over her chest and glaring. "Maybe he doesn't listen to you, because you shout at him all the time."

He made a strangled noise in his throat. "I shout because he doesn't listen. It's a vicious circle. See if you can find a succubus who might fit the bill anyway. Better to have a contingency in place."

"This sounds like a terrible idea." She rubbed her forehead.

"What other option is there, Felicia? He gets locked away and they give him enough lust to keep him alive? That's no life. That's practically a death sentence. You've seen him, talked to him…" He sighed. "It would kill him and locking him away would kill Calliope."

"They won't lock him away. I'm going to do everything I can to see this works out without Lorcan getting locked in a tiny cell for all eternity." Felicia looked so fierce it made him laugh.

"I believe you. And again, thank you. This means a lot to me and my family."

"Just thank me after this is over. I better go check on him." She nodded her head toward the next room. "See you in there."

"Good luck." His face was a mask, but in his eyes she saw worry.

"Piece of cake." She grinned and left the room.


	5. Chapter 5: It Takes a Village

**Authors' Notes :**

 ** _**We have time flowing differently in the human world than in Lullabi, so that's why Lizzie hasn't been awake that long here.**_**

 **zombierose3:** Happy New Year! Thanks for the reviews and reads on the last chapter. It's helped us get through this next one. We really do love hearing from you. Also, I graduated from college and I was told I had to share that or else.

 **unleashthewords :** I just want to say thanks to the entire fandom! Your enthusiasm is fantastic! As always, we appreciate every comment, kudos, 3 and support! We love hearing from you so please don't stop!

 **** Disclaimers:** We don't own Drop Dead Fred and we aren't making any profit from the story (but we'll take reviews).

* * *

 **Chapter Five**

 _It Takes a Village_

Lizzie lie in the darkness of her room, still processing her very vivid dream. Resting her hands on her chest, she felt her still-pounding heart and the rise and fall of her each breath. Her eyes searched the dark, as if answers might lay hidden there. Tangled in her sheets, she ran a hand over her face, grinning as she recalled the ecstasy of her dream. She still grinned when details came back to her.

Giving and getting a hand job from a familiar redhead.

"Oh my god!" Her hands flew to cover her cheeks, her face hot. It was what she had cried out in her dream as well, and this only mortified her more. "I dreamed… Fred and I… Holy shit…" She rubbed her hands over her face. "What the hell was that?" She turned on the light, looking around her room, half-expecting to see the object of her apparent lust, but no one else was present.

Unconvinced, she leaned over and looked under the bed. She breathed a sigh of relief when she didn't find him.

Untangling herself from the sheets, she walked over and checked her closet. Empty, but she still expected him to pop out at any moment.

Taking her time, she crept into the bathroom and checked the shower just to make sure. No Fred. Maybe he really wasn't here.

Catching her reflection in the mirror, she paused. Her hair was messy and she had traces of eyeliner smudged around her eyes, but she looked pleased. Very pleased.

"This is so wrong! I shouldn't be happy about this!" She turned on the tap and began washing her face. "It was amazing, but it was with… and that is just- No!" She dried her face and ran her fingers through her hair. "Maybe it was just all the talk about lust and sex, and reading too many smutty books." She shook her head. "Fred said he could do things. Oh dear God! I hope he didn't!" She felt horrified and angry at the thought that he might have.

"Was it him and his incubus stuff… Would he do this to get back at me?" She hurried to her closet. "God, I'm so sexually frustrated. This is terrible!" She pulled off her T-shirt and threw it in the corner. "Fred! If you- Ugh!" She stomped her foot.

Embarrassingly, her panties had evidence of her wild dream romp and she took them off, tossing them on the clothes pile.

Stomping into the bathroom, she turned on the shower. Stepping inside, she bowed her head, letting the hot water pour over her body. She closed her eyes and the dream came back in flashes. Fred's lips on her hers, his hands running over her skin. Her center throbbed and she clenched her thighs together.

"After three orgasms? I'm still horny?" She rubbed her face, the water flying against the walls of the shower. "What's happening?" She began washing her hair, her movements quick and jerky as she tried not to think about Fred and his naughty hands.

"It was so real and so… amazing. Why did it have to be with Fred? It's so embarrassing! But it's the most turned on I've ever been in my life. The way he talked and his eyes… they were so black..."

Rinsing her hair, she felt her body begin to react as she replayed the dream. "He was so different and kind of sexy." Her eyes widened. "I would've never imagined that word with him, but it was sexy. He was incredibly sexy." Running her hands down her body, she brought them to her still-throbbing center. Tentatively, she stroked herself, moaning as it helped ease some of her sexual tension.

Feeling braver, she stroked her sensitive flesh again. Her fingers rubbed and teased her clit and she widened her stance as she pleasured herself. She moaned louder and imagined Fred's voice like a whisper in her mind.

 _"Naughty, Lizzie."_

She bit her lip, her fingers moving inside her. "You have no idea," she murmured. "I can still feel you on my skin. Why?" Closing her eyes, she moved her fingers faster, gasping as her orgasm slowly built. She used her other hand to tease her breast, imagining it was Fred, moaning as the orgasm made her shudder with pleasure.

"You made me cum in a dream. That's a first," she said as her legs shook. Remembering the way he had tasted and how his tongue moved against her own, added to her frenzy.

Moving her fingers in a quick, steady pace, her orgasm shook her body again and she cried out as it rocketed through her. Lizzie panted, her body slowly coming down from the high. "If my dream had gone any further, would I still have woken up horny and horrified and fucking myself in a shower and trying not to think of you naked, Fred? Or be talking to myself? You need to get a life, Lizzie."

Letting her hands fall to her sides, she thought back to that dream. "Who are you really, Fred?"

* * *

Andras stood in the room, thinking over his conversation with Felicia. For three hundred years his son had been running from himself, and Andras had let him. He had never tried to understand. It had seemed beyond understanding at the time. Just youthful rebellion or a weird phase, but his youngest son had kept up his strange sex phobia. Now he was back, on the other side of the wall no less, and he wasn't afraid of sex anymore. The problem was he wanted to be with a mortal.

Andras sighed. He doubted a sane woman would want to be with his son. Who was this woman that had finally stirred primal urges in Lorcan? There was one way to find out. Andras would go himself, but he needed to be here. He could ask his son, Remy, to go, but Remy was fond of deviating from the plotted course. Better to put his daughter on it. Scheherazade was more like Andras than his sons. She was focused, and would fight to the death for her family, especially Lorcan.

Exiting the room, Andras paused and stared at the door that led to his son. They would talk after this trial, and Bacchus willing, it wouldn't be in a cell. He strode down the hall, stopping outside the council's waiting area. He needed to send his daughter on her errand without anyone knowing. Not even Calliope.

 _'Scheherazade…'_ he spoke into her mind.

 _'Father? Where are you?'_.

 _'Outside the waiting area. Come see me now, and don't tell your mother.'_

 _'What in Lullabi am I supposed to tell her?'_

 _'Just tell her something and get over here now!'_

Shea had remained completely still while speaking to her father in a fast, internal conversation. Gabriel had immediately sensed her anxiety and taken her hand, rubbing her knuckles.

 _'Is everything alright?'_ Gabriel's question entered her mind, his voice like a caress to her body and soul.

 _'No? I'm not sure. Father wants to speak with me… outside. I can't tell Mother, though.'_

 _'Just go. I'll keep her company.'_

 _'What? Just make a run for it?'_

 _'Yes. I'll handle the fallout.'_

 _'You're a brave incubus. It's very sexy.'_

 _'Go, or I'll pinch you again.'_

 _'I love you, too,'_ she answered and Gabriel gave her hand a squeeze. He always knew just what she needed.

Clearing her throat, Shea turned toward her mother. "I need to go take care of something. I'll be right back." She jumped up, winked at Gabriel, and hurried away before Calliope could grab her hand.

"Scheherazade! Where are you going?" she called after her.

"Calliope, there's something I've been meaning to discuss with you..." Shea heard Gabriel say as she made a beeline for the doors. She vowed to make it up to him and upon leaving the waiting room, she found her father pacing the hall.

"What's the problem?" she asked, rushing to him. "Did you see Lorcan? Do you have news?"

Andras turned. "No." He sighed, looking more worried than Shea had ever seen him. "What do you know of… of the mortal woman?"

"I-" Shea blinked, taken by complete surprise. "I know he… They have a history. He's known her since she was a child. He was her imaginary friend. Twice, actually." She was hesitant to explain further.

Andras crossed his arms. "I know he's in love with her."

Shea stared, her mouth agape. "What? Then why are you asking about her if you know? Wait, how do you know?" She looked at him sideways.

"That's not important. Do you know how she feels about Lorcan?"

Shea took a deep breath. "It's complicated."

"Uncomplicate it and find out."

"What? Just pop down there and ask?" Shea crossed her arms.

"That's one way," he muttered. "Why is everyone so indignant today?"

"I just want to know what I'm supposed to do to find out what you want to know."

"You can see into dreams. See what she's thinking."

Shea closed her eyes and sighed. "Wouldn't that be… a violation, or something?"

"Don't get caught."

"Great. I hope they put my cell next to Lorcan's." She rolled her eyes and Andras placed his hands on her shoulders.

"I know I'm asking a lot of you. You're the only one I trust to do this. If she loves him, it could help him."

Her eyes widened. He trusted her over everyone? His admission shocked her and she nodded without question. "I'll go." Andras returned a small smile and headed into the waiting area.

"Now I've heard everything," a male voice said from behind Shea.

Turning, she saw her brother, Remy, leaning against the wall. His auburn hair and bright, blue eyes contrasted with the dark corridor. "It's rude to listen to people's conversations," she said and stuck her tongue out at him.

"You weren't being that quiet. Besides, I have a right to know. It's a family matter, after all." He looked weary behind his cheeky grin.

"How did your talk with the council go?" Shea worried for Remy. Who knew what they might do to him.

He shrugged, still leaning against the wall. "Probation."

"Probation?" Her brows rose. "That's it?" She didn't know if she was surprised or relieved.

"They couldn't find fault with my actions, but they couldn't just let me saunter away unscathed." He rolled his eyes, making Shea think of Fred. They could have been twins, but for a few differences. Remy carried himself with confidence, always seeming comfortable in his own skin, and constantly had sex, while Fred remained ever-the-opposite.

"At least it's just probation. Do you get a babysitter?" She tried to joke, hoping it might lighten his mood, but he scoffed at the idea.

"I get two. Some paper-pushing rule lover and a really uptight succubus with no sense of humor. She has really great tits, though."

Shea rolled her eyes. "I'm so glad you can see the silver lining. So, you get babysitters…" She swallowed the lump in her throat. "What's Lorcan gonna get?"

Remy sighed. "I'd love to give him a punch to his nuts. Screwing around with his mortal pet and feeding off her." He scoffed again. "Of all the stupid ideas he's ever had…" Anger filled his eyes. "He finally goes and thinks with his penis instead of his brain and it causes the fuck up of the century."

Shea raised her brows. Remy getting angry was rare. He was by far the most laid back of their entire family. Clearly, Remy had his limits. "Well, you'll probably have to get in line. Once he's safe, I think the whole family will be lining up to maim him, or give him a piece of their minds." She thought of her many, many brothers and cringed.

"Except you, right?" His tone had an edge to it.

"What does that mean?" She glared at him, irked by his attitude.

"You always fix his messes. Never get upset at the baby. Lorcan has to be protected." He gagged.

"Shut up. I'm plenty mad at him. He's made a mess of everything and it's affecting everyone! I already gave him a piece of my mind and wrecked that stupid s-"

"Shut up about the 's' word!" Remy stalked forward and clamped his hand over her mouth. "Are you trying to get put into a tiny box with our idiot brother?"

Growling, she shoved his hand away. "No! And stop shushing me! I'm tired of being shushed today!"

"God, you're just like Dad." Remy groaned. "Yelling at the top of your damn lungs."

"At least he's trying to help. Now, are you going to be useful, or just offer asinine comments?" She was nervous about her task and her brother was starting to irritate her.

"Of course I'll help. We can have a whole wing dedicated to our family's incarceration. I'm sure we'll be allowed conjugal visits. It'll be great." He gave her a mocking smile.

"Asshole," she muttered. "I need to go…" She looked around. "I better tell you privately."

With her eyes locked on his, Shea whispered into his head, _'Father wants me to visit the mortal, uh, Lizzie, and see if she has any feelings for Lorcan. He said it could help.'_

 _'Is this Idiotic Idea Day? You can't go near her. I bet they're watching her right now,'_ his sarcastic tone whispered back in her mind.

 _'I asked if you're going to be useful. This is not being useful!'_ She crossed her arms over her chest.

 _'I'm trying to be the practical one for a change. I thought it would be refreshing.'_

 _'Then give me some practical advice instead of your stupid comments. How can I visit her if they're watching her?'_

 _'Make them look elsewhere.'_

 _'Elsewhere?'_ Her brow furrowed. _'Where?'_

 _'I could go visit some nuns.'_ He waggled his eyebrows.

 _'Remy!'_ Another day she might have laughed, but today was not a good day for Remy's humor.

 _'Fine. How about a little amorous intervention at a PTA meeting?'_

Shea covered her face with her hands. _'Are you trying to get your own cell?'_

 _'I said they need to look elsewhere. It needs to be something that will really make them look.'_

 _'By causing an orgy among teachers and soccer moms?'_ She glared, planting her hands on her hips. Remy shrugged, unfazed.

 _'It worked for the Romans.'_

Shea held up her hands as if to strangle him. _'I hate you so much right now.'_

 _'Fine!'_ He tossed up his arms. _'Fine. I'll get Sasha to go visit one of her regulars. He likes to run. Naked. He can have the urge to work on his marathon and they'll be busy trying to contain that and you can go do your spy work, Double-O-Bossy.'_

 _'Fine.'_ She sighed. _'Just don't let it turn into a riot- And I am not bossy!'_

 _'Okay, Dad.'_ He made a face and she rolled her eyes.

 _'Whatever. Just go get your girlfriend to do her thing. And let me know when it's safe for me to go.'_

 _'Okay, and she's not my girlfriend.'_ He winced. _'I will not be tied down to one pair of breasts.'_

 _'Famous last words.'_ She smiled.

' _Take that back!_ ' Remy flipped her off and disappeared in a column of black smoke.

"You wish," she said aloud to the air and grinned.

* * *

As soon as Remy had whispered "Go" in her mind, Shea had slipped off to Earth to visit the mortal who had her brother in knots.

Appearing in a small apartment, she looked around, taking in all the details. It was tidy with a few feminine touches like lavender throw pillows, framed photos of flowers, and a small vase of purple flowers. A romance novel rested on an end table with some vanilla scented candles and Shea found the apartment looked cozy and inviting.

Sensing Lizzie in her bedroom, Shea faded into her incorporeal form and floated through the door. She caught Lizzie changing into sweatpants. Lizzie yanked on a pair of socks and kicked her damp towel over to the laundry pile. Even without using her powers Shea felt the lust and confusion radiating off her.

"Oh, Darling, you have it bad, don't you," Shea murmured, feeling both amused and sympathetic. "If only my little brother had done a better job of explaining things. Now you're both a mess."

She studied this woman who had moved Lorcan to do the unthinkable: Have sex. Shaking her head, Shea's gaze roamed over Lizzie's body. "You're very pretty in a girl next door kind of way. Not that I'm putting it down. It just seems very fitting for baby brother."

"Fred and his stupid costume and his stupid sex dream," Lizzie muttered, as she pulled on more clothes, covering her entire body with fabric.

"You're funny, too. No wonder he's smitten." Grinning, Shea took in Lizzie's gray sweats and feet clad in fuzzy, pink socks. "Trying to ward off, Lorcan? Clothes won't help, Dear."

Reaching out with her powers, Shea peeked into Lizzie's mind. She glimpsed flashes of the dream, felt Lizzie's desire and pleasure, and her confusion again, but Shea frowned. She sensed something else and sent her magic deeper until it became apparent.

"A fucking soul-bond?" She stared at the mortal woman who had no idea what had actually happened to her. "Lorcan, what in the name of Bacchus have you done now? And with a mortal? It shouldn't be possible. Father is going to lose his damn mind. Baby brother finally wants to fuck someone and it's a mortal that he starts to soul-bond with?" Rolling her eyes, Shea heard Lizzie mumbling to herself again.

"How am I supposed to talk to him after that? He'll probably deny it and say I have cooties," Lizzie grumbled, folding her arms over her chest. "Ugh."

"I'm beginning to wonder that myself, Doll." Shea sighed. "My brother isn't known for serious conversation. Or for serious anything. I just may have to help him. Again."

"Why is the best sexual experience I've had in years only in my dreams? And with someone who isn't supposed to be real?" Lizzie groaned, flopping face first on her bed and Shea smirked.

"At least he can do some things right. Better get back before I'm noticed. We'll talk soon, Lizzie." Shea vanished from the room with a wave.

* * *

Felicia hurried for Fred's room when the door swung open, barely missing her. A dark-haired incubus with hair that curled at the ends clambered into the hall, several folders pressed against his chest. Fred's shouts followed him, filled with colorful obscenities and suggestions before the door shut behind him. The incubus muttered to himself, his agitation a force of nature, but he jumped upon seeing Felicia.

"Sweet coitus!" he cried, nearly dropping his files. "I didn't see you. I- Oh. Oh, you're her!" He laughed with relief and stepped away from the door. "Ah, mercy! I'm so sorry. I'm usually very well organized and punctual. It's just-" He glowered back at the door, haunted. "It's been an evening of trials."

Clearing his throat, he tucked his chin-length hair behind his ear. "My name's Emil, the replacement doctor assigned to evaluate Lorcan, the Virgin Shame. I apologize for not getting this report to you sooner," he said, holding out a folder for Felicia. She quickly took it, but Emil continued before she could speak.

"I was requested last moment, you see, when the client denied an examination to be carried out by a succubus doctor." Emil straightened his remaining files. "Joke's on him, though. I'm gay. Very, very gay," he added, smirking, but quickly resumed his composure. "I'm sorry. That's not relevant, just helps me get through the day. You didn't need to know that. Bacchus' buns! I babble when I haven't had my evening tumble and meditation." Emil frowned.

Masking her expression, Felicia wondered if Fred knew that the incubus who had checked him over was into males. She imagined Fred yelling about people leaving his bits alone and bit back a laugh. "Uh, thanks. I would have preferred to be present, but I suppose you needed to speak to him alone." The doctor was a chatterer and she was glad she missed it.

"Yes, much easier to observe without distractions altering the patient's behavior. Although, in his case it might have made room for improvement. He's the testiest incubus I've ever met. I'm not convinced it's just the virginity, either." He smoothed his hair and huffed. Felicia smirked.

"Anyway," he continued, "I've completed my evaluation of Lorcan, and in my professional and personal opinion, he's not insane, just obnoxious and an utter prude. Though, I did find some unusual and intriguing things about him, which explain his actions tonight... And from a medical perspective I'd love to learn more... If he'd shut up I would have studied him longer, but even science isn't worth that." He cleared his throat and Felicia stared at the doctor who was unlike any she had met before him.

It was true Lorcan could be a trial, but this incubus wasn't exactly easy on the nerves either. "By 'unusual and intriguing things,' do you mean the suit? Did it have any adverse reactions? Will it affect him still?" Her mind buzzed with wild thoughts.

"Yes, yes, and yes. Unfortunately for those of us around him," he muttered. "There appears to be residual effects from the leprechaun magic his suit had. It's repressing his nature, confusing it into an adolescent state. Must be how he went so long without needing to feed in the first place. And over time the magic faded enough that he had to start, at least some."

Felicia's mouth opened in shock. Adolescent state? It made so much sense it scared her. The suit he insisted he needed had made him regress. It almost hurt her head thinking it through. Would he start acting more like an incubus than he had been? It would definitely work in their favor...

"Now," said Emil, "I can't imagine the leprechaun magic can contain him much longer. It's fading fast. The lust he took off the mortal is making quick work of it. I give it a day at the most before the suit's magic is entirely out of his system and he's natural once again." He smiled. "Interesting enough, there's traces of the other mortals he fed from tonight inside him, yet none of them are what's depleting the suit's magic from him. It's just this…" He paused and looked down at his notes. "This Elizabeth Cronin."

The doctor's last bit of information floored her. _Lizzie is why the suit's magic is fading?_ She would have kissed Emil if he wasn't so annoying. He could confirm Fred's feelings for Lizzie. This stroke of luck gave her a boost of confidence and she allowed herself a small smile. "Thank you. I appreciate your… candor."

"I assumed you would." He grinned back. "It's all so fascinating. Also, I have a theory as to what destroyed the suit's control over his nature. From my notes, as Lorcan fed in increments over the years, he never received such a potent response. I'd like to believe it was just time, but my findings compared with the previous physician's notes, from checking over the mortal this evening, say otherwise." His brows went up. "Would you like to hear the juicy tidbits?"

There was more? Her brows rose. If it helped their case, he was giving her a gift. "Please, I'd love to hear it."

Emil's eyes nearly danced as he stepped closer to Felicia so no one overheard. "A soul-bonding has begun between them. Interrupted, I think, only because of that magic suit interfering with his powers."

Felicia stared at Emil. She heard his words in loop in her mind, but her brain couldn't process them. She frowned at him. "I'm sorry. You said soul-bonding." She slapped a hand to her forehead. "Between Lorcan and, and Lizzie?" Her voice came out as a squeak on the last word.

"Mmhmm. I did. It's not complete, and still temporary. Barely present, really, but it's there enough to cause some effects on them both." Emil straightened his papers. "Crazy, isn't it?"

Crazy did not even begin to cover it. "I, um, I- How is this possible? And with him of all lilin? Are you sure?"

"I promise you, I never state things I'm unsure of. It's bad for my reputation, and I hate taking things back. Can you imagine the time that would take? Exhausting!" He shook his head. "Anyway, they've each got a small piece of each other's soul inside theirs. Lorcan doesn't even know it's happened. And I certainly am not gonna tell him. They don't pay me enough."

Felicia heard everything he said, but it still took her a moment to think it all over. "I've only heard stories of this being possible, and then this crazy, misfit incubus who has sex issues soul-bonds with a mortal woman? I think the Fates are having a laugh right now." She cast a dubious glance at the ceiling as if they were hiding above her somewhere. "How could he start something he has no knowledge of? You're sure he doesn't know?" Felicia imagined him freaking out and she paled. Emil gave a half-hearted laugh.

"Oh, that's actually simple. I don't know him and enough of their story, but soul-bonds happen out of love and desire. You know that much. If they long to be together forever, then that's all it takes. He couldn't have taken a piece of her if she didn't let him, and visa versa. So, looks like the stories are real."

"Soul-bonding is common among our people, but for a lilin and a mortal to experience that is almost unheard of." She shook her head. No wonder Lorcan had been so on edge. Looking back at Emil, she lowered her voice. "No one knows this information? Just you and me?"

"Only you, me, and Dr. Raven, who examined the mortal. Until I present our findings to the council, that is. I don't think we need this getting out. It could cause too many problems, especially with the traditionalists."

"Okay. That's fine. I have your testimony and hers. If they are partly soul-bonded it has to mean they're supposed to be together, right?" She started pacing. "I know some of the council frown on lilin and mortal relationships, but if this is Fate ordained they'd have to relent. He's just trying to be with the person he loves." A worry snaked into her mind. "Would they try to bury this? They wouldn't, would they?"

Emil's mouth hung open in fascination as Felicia spouted off her every thought. He had to admit, he enjoyed watching the process of how other lilin thought, but her questions unnerved him. "They better not! I need this! If they are meant to be, this is the greatest discovery of my career. A leprechaun magic infected lilin that soul-bonds with a mortal! I'll be set for eternity. They're not squashing my findings." He shook his fist. "I don't know if it's Fate, but the evidence points to it. I mean, the mortal's not insane yet."

Felicia blinked, surprised by his zeal for his work, but at least he was with her on this, even if their motivations weren't the same. "Excellent point. We can't let this be swept under the rug. I'd like you to keep this to yourself until the trial so you can announce it in front of everyone present."

"Done. My Dear, you know just how I love to work." He grinned and stood taller, clutching his folders closer to himself.

"I, uh, don't actually know, but I'll take your word for it." She grinned.

"Just keep Lorcan quiet for my moment."

Felicia sighed. "You've met him. I can't guarantee silence from him, but I'll do my best to let you have your moment."

"Thank you, and bless that poor mortal's soul if they ever complete that bond." He looked upward for strength. "Which reminds me, there's another thing I must address," he said, meeting Felicia's gaze. "I would recommend keeping Lorcan's powers restricted for now. With the soul-bonding started, he's got an impulsive need to return and complete it, even without knowing it's there. Interrupting soul-bonds for anyone is a jarring thing. He exhibits all the signs. Anxiety, increased libido, agitation, and sensing her around him."

"Keep Lorcan restricted? By sedating him?" she mumbled. "I suppose I'll have to have another succubus on hand just in case. Speaking of, I should go check on him. Thank you so much for your report, Doctor. It's been… enlightening."

"You're welcome, and thank you. However, I do have one further recommendation." Emil glared at the door again. "With the suit's magic depleting, Lorcan will soon function like an adult incubus. He's not going to last much longer as a virgin. He'll need to have sex for his sanity and health. These nightly feedings won't remain enough without that. Maybe a few weeks more at most."

"Don't let Lila or Lorcan hear that," she muttered. "This is a nightmare. I hope we can get this resolved quickly. Thank you for the advice."

Emil nodded. "Lila? Oh. Yes, I've heard of _her_." He cleared his throat, eyeing the door again. "Anyway, back to Lorcan… If the council wants any chance of that incubus losing his virginity they ought to render him mute! With that mouth of his I don't see how any woman, succubus, or male would fuck him. I stake my reputation and my degree on it!" He tucked his hair back behind his ear. "I'm sorry. I'm also not usually this heated. He just… has a way of getting under your skin."

"Oh, I know he does. If being irritating was an actual incubus talent he would be the best there is." She smiled at Emil's constant glares at the door. "I do appreciate your time. Perhaps we could discuss this case after the trial is over?"

"Always willing to share my thoughts and notes with another professional. Just name the time." He looked again at his notes. "I just know I'm on the verge of some new discoveries if I can only manage some more time with him. If only they allowed us to gag a patient I might have lasted longer." He laughed, but it fizzled fast. "Don't tell anyone I said that. Some don't have the sense of humor, or- I should go and prepare my testimony for the trial. Good luck and-" Emil glanced at the door. "Hercules' dewy abs, give us strength with this one! A human-lilin soul-bonding!"

"I'll let you know when things calm down." She laughed. "Having spent some time with Lorcan I understand the urge to gag him. Your secret is safe with me." She winked. "In his defense, he's actually quite agreeable once you get his snark out of the way. Thank you. I'll take all the luck I can get."

"Of course. It's been a pleasure." Emil nodded, but raised a finger. "Wait. One last thing. Sorry, I keep saying that. I actually have a request of you. If you could tell Lorcan to please get that sample for me by tomorrow evening, that'd be great. It's very important for my research."

"Sample? He agreed to that?" Felicia couldn't imagine Fred agreeing to anything.

"No, but he likes you. I assume you could persuade him. For science."

Her brows rose at this suggestion. "We get along, but asking him for a sample is a little personal, isn't it?"

Emil stared at her, perplexed. "I'm a doctor."

She stared back. "I'm not."

"Fine. Fair enough. Tell him I'll see him soon." With a grin, Emil turned and headed down the hall with Felicia shaking her head.

 _That incubus is a strange one_ , she thought, entering the room and finding Lorcan wedged in the corner like a feral cat. He wielded a chair and tried to hide behind it at the same time.

"Oh thank _god_ it's just you!" he cried.

"Uh, are you alright? Why are you in the corner?" she asked, shutting the door.

"Do you know what I've been through?! That witch doctor wanted me to wank into a cup! For science! So he could run tests on it!" Fred flung his arms upward. "He wanted my- my... _samples_ f-for research!"

Felicia pursed her lips to keep from laughing. Clearly he was experiencing his latent adolescence. "He is not a witch doctor. He's just very enthusiastic about his work."

"Enthu- He wants to study about the long-term effects of leprechaun magic on lilin using my, my… _special sauce_ ," Fred whispered, his face contorting like he were having an attack. "He's a licensed perv! As my lawyer you've gotta protect me! That bastard! That utter, utter guttersnipe!" Fred tensed and pulled the chair closer against himself.

Placing a hand to her chest, Felicia widened her eyes. "You didn't want to jerk off and hand over a sample for his breakthrough in lilin research? I'm so disappointed. You could be famous in Lullabi instead of infamous." She grinned and Fred's jaw dropped.

"No!" he shouted. "I will not wank for fame, thank you!" _Just make it stop,_ he begged the universe. To add insult to injury, he did want another release and it pissed him off. "And, hey, I thought you were on my side? I swear if one more person asks me to do anything nasty, science or not, I'm gonna lose it!" He tugged his chair even closer and pressed into the wall. He considered grabbing the table and barricading himself into his corner, too. Perhaps he could wait them all out.

Shaking her head, Felicia took a seat in the other chair. "There are worse ways to make a living." She rested her chin on her palm, leaning on the table as she grinned at him. "It's not like you need to become a fountain in the foyer of the Office of Lilin Affairs. Besides, I thought you were getting used to everyone seeing your pasty, naked ass." She laughed. "What's a few more people? Besides, it's for science." She said the last word with reverence.

Fred's mouth twitched at her casual, yet amused attitude about the subject. "Yes, well, I've already been a fountain tonight…"

She leaned forward and grinned wider. "I know. I read the report."

"What?! Report? They have _that_ in the report?" He choked, eyes widening as he wondered if a lilin could have a heart attack under extreme circumstances, but an even worse thought bombarded him. "Oh no. You, you didn't see it, did you?!" he squeaked, shrinking back.

Felicia let him sweat it out, figuring it would make them even. "Well, you know… the Office of Lilin Affairs is very thorough." She enunciated the last two words and beamed at him.

"I, I can't feel my face." Fred patted his cheeks, staring ahead. "Am I still standing?"

Shaking with silent laughter, Felicia released a giggle. "You're priceless. No, I did not witness you making your special sauce." She tapped a finger against her chin. "To be fair to you, one of the Lilin Affairs employees might have seen something. Standard procedure. No big deal."

Fred gaped. He thought a sound came out, but he wasn't sure. The world felt so far away and he just blinked, his mind replaying his moments of ecstasy with Lizzie in a new light. "No big deal? They… You mean? Oh, fuck." He grabbed his head. "Right. It's official. I have to move to another dimension. Again. Immediately."

"Oh, stop. Prude Lorcan is boring. I mean some of your reactions are entertaining, but you blushing and stuttering every time you remember that you're naked, or when I say words like 'penis' makes my job go slower." She tilted her head and studied his face. "Besides, this is Lullabi. They probably were cheering you on. Sex is sex. I am sure you did nothing they haven't seen before. Repeatedly."

"That's not the point!" he cried, clenching his fists. "And I am not boring! I just want some clothes and for perverts to stop lookin' at- Oh god!" He gasped, clutching his chest. "I can't breathe. This is it! I'm dying!"

Felicia didn't know whether she wanted to laugh or cry. His resistance was a problem of astronomical proportions and she sighed. "Having a fit of the vapors, Dear? I swear, if you were a little, old lady you'd be clutching your pearls and screaming for your smelling salts. And you're not dying."

Dropping his hands, Fred stomped. "I am not an old woman! And I can die if I want to! I wish I was! You'd all have to honor my last wishes and I'd get some trousers in the end and some bloody sympathy."

She snorted. "Could have fooled me. I bet you would have been a little, old, Victorian woman in another life. And if we had such things as funerals, I'd make sure you were laid out for your wake buck ass naked."

Pursing his lips, Fred pointed at her ready to speak, but he was so upset he couldn't talk for several seconds. "I'm not a girl! And stop talking about me getting laid.'" He stuck out his tongue.

"I'm sorry. Too much for your maiden ears to hear? I really should remember I'm in the presence of a very dignified seventy-year-old woman." She smiled.

"Dignified? You call this dignified? I'm practically wearin' this chair to hide my knob! It's cold!" His blush returned full force, but he finally caught the amused expression on Felicia's face. "Have you had your fill yet on teasing me?"

Her shoulders shook with laughter. _It's too easy to tease him._ "I'm sorry," she gasped. "It's just something about you. You're like a strange mix of innocence and jadedness. I can't help myself." She wiped at the tears in her eyes. "You're making me cry for all the wrong reasons. Or is it good? I guess it's better than making me cry for the usual reasons a male might make a female cry."

"Oh, ha, ha!" He rolled his eyes, but cracked a smile. "That's what I'm good at. Making females laugh and cry, but don't go all girl on me now. I've got nothing to dry the tears with because obviously I left my handkerchief back in my last life."

Felicia smiled and leaned back in her seat. "I'm sure it was a lovely embroidered one." She winked. "You know, you really are one of the girls, or you're getting comfortable being back home, because you have no problem talking to me while I sit here like this." She waved a hand in front of her bare breasts. "Maybe that suit magic is finally wearing off. Thank Bacchus."

"Ugh! Don't point those at me like that! And I'm _not_ comfortable! I've just gone blind, is all!" he grumbled, crossing his arms over his chest. "I've seen so many tits since I've gotten here I've blacked out to survive. And nothing's wearing off." _What did that doctor tell her?_ he wondered, worry invading his mind.

"I think you are comfortable, and you're freaking out over it. You were able to talk with me for quite awhile and you didn't notice. There's nothing wrong with being comfortable with who you are." She smiled at him, even though he refused to look at her. "Lorcan, just look at me. In the eyes, but look at me."

"Ha! I don't freak out over anything. I'm Drop Dead Fred," he said, but his voice was quiet, lacking his usual bravado. He couldn't be comfortable like this, he couldn't go full incubus like he'd always feared. No, he would ignore it and eventually it would stop and he'd come back to his senses. He wouldn't let this be him. "And I know a trap when I see one," he said, tapping his fingers against his arms. "Carry on, but my eyes are stayin' where they are."

"How can you see anything when all you can see is the floor?" She shifted in her chair, crossing her legs. "Aren't you tired of running? I'd be exhausted if I ran away from my home, my family, and who I am for three hundred years. Why are you holding onto this fantasy?"

"Because it's not a fantasy. It's my life, thank you," he said, glancing at Felicia. "There's other things that I want, and this isn't it." Turning his attention back to the floor, Fred stilled. He suddenly felt her again. Lizzie's presence had picked a fine time to return and he struggled not to show it. _If I didn't know any better, I'd swear she's trying to tip me over the edge._ Wearily, he looked up at Felicia.

"Um... you, you mentioned before that I could ask you anything if I needed. Um… could I- Can I ask you something right now?"

Felicia's brows rose, but she smiled. "Of course. Ask away."

The crimson on Fred's face deepened. "Is it, uh, normal for after… what I did with Lizzie…" He shut his eyes and tried focusing on his question instead of everything swirling inside him. "Is it normal to still _feel_ it? Her desire, what I took, it keeps coming back at random in these waves. I can actually feel it wanting me." _And it's getting bloody annoying when I can't satisfy it_ , he thought. Gritting his teeth, he put his hands over his face. "It's like, I swear it's not just me I feel; it's _her_ , somehow, and I don't understand why she's still with me like this." His voice held a plea and he dropped his hands, staring up at Felicia. "Please, tell me it's gonna go away before I give a salute to the whole council?"

Staring at him, Felicia remained still. He had been bound to ask and she had partly dreaded it, unsure of what to tell him without telling him everything. He wasn't ready for the full explanation.

Realizing she still stared, Felicia blinked and composed herself. "Sorry, I didn't expect that." _So soon_ , she thought. Clearing her throat, she tried to think of the right words. "It is normal. Especially in your case."

"My case?"

She took a deep breath and let it out slowly. "I'll do my best to explain. Let's see…" Felicia stretched out the vowel as she thought it over. "Okay, we're sexual beings. It is who we are and what we do. Physical reactions, feelings, anything related to sex, we are going to experience that a thousand times stronger than any other beings. We can connect with each other and mortals, and feel what they feel, and we can change it, too. That doesn't always have to be sexual, but nine times out of ten it is."

"I didn't think our connection could be anything beyond sexual that way with a mortal. Just between lilin, like my mum and dad have?" he asked.

"We're sexual beings, but we have feelings, too. Our job is about feelings. We need to know what brings pleasure and pain, hope and fear, or we can't do our job. Lilin experience things so much more because we're connected to everyone. Relationships just make more sense between lilin."

Fred frowned, not liking her last remark. "But there can be something between a human and… someone like me?" he asked, looking at Felicia with hope.

"It's not unheard of, but it's not exactly common," she said, frowning with him. She wanted him to hope, but not be misled. "When you also have a connection to someone on a deeper level then it makes the feelings even stronger than normal. If you love someone it's like sharing a body. One breath, one heartbeat, one soul. It is terrifying and thrilling and everything you could ever want. So, yes, you have this deep connection with Lizzie, and it's like being tethered to her, and you can feel her no matter how far apart you are. Whether it can be more, I don't know. I'm hoping it'll work out." She gave him a half-grin. "I hope that explains the connection. As to the side effects... you just need to learn to control it. You can temper your desire, you just need to concentrate."

Fred's eyes widened as he took everything in that Felicia said. He was tethered to Lizzie like they were one soul and body? The idea made him ache to have just that, to love her and feel it returned from her very core. It was everything he wanted, and yet the most frightening idea he'd ever heard because if he lost her, if she didn't want him when she had become a part of him, it would kill him.

"So, you're saying what I did and feel's just made my entire original problem _worse?_ " He groaned and held his head, feeling his connection to Lizzie tug at his soul. "I thought I just took too much from her, or something… I didn't realize- Why didn't anyone tell me this happens with just love? Soul-bondings must be so much more annoying. I can't imagine."

At the mention of soul-bonding Felicia tensed. If only he knew, he would lose his damn mind. Again. "Indeed," she said.

"I had no clue and-" Fred gasped. "Oh fuck! Are you saying what I'm feeling really is _her_? Is this what she feels right now? For me? How the hell am I supposed to concentrate now that I know that?! And what if it's all just because of my magic she feel this?"

As he started to have a meltdown over Lizzie's alleged feelings, Felicia sighed and held out her hands. "Wait, wait. Seriously, you go from calm to drama in one second flat. Before you get crazy, I don't know how your imaginary friend link fits in. You've always had a strong connection. You could feel her and know if she needed you, right?" He stilled and nodded at her, making Felicia sigh.

"I did not study this area," she admitted. "It's a little fuzzy. You're the expert in this room and you should have paid more attention when they talked about lilin and human relations in your classes. I'm pretty sure she can't feel anything. She's a mortal, not a lilin. Look, I'm not saying she's not in love with you, but I'm not saying she is." She frowned. "I think I just hurt my head with that statement. What can you feel?"

"My first headache with the way this night's been going," he muttered. Focusing on the connection, Fred realized Lizzie was awake and in a very heated state. His eyes widened at the sexual frustration coursing through her and straight into him. His body shivered, reacting with its new and endless need to be near her, but a swirl of Lizzie's other emotions spared him before it got out of hand.

"She's… confused and… very pissed. To say the least." He winced. "Annoyed, too, and well, bet you can guess the last bit." He reddened and tapped the table, his brow furrowed. "There's something else about the link, though. It's different, somehow," he said, finding it almost felt like he was in two places at once. "That's really all I got," he said with clear disappointment on his face.

Sucking in a breath between her teeth, Felicia grimaced. "Ooh, that's bad. Never leave a lady unsatisfied. You will never hear the end of it." She shook her head. "You are going to have to do some groveling. Maybe buy her a puppy. If you don't fix it you will never be forgiven. My wife does passive aggressive like no one else. She wouldn't speak to me for a week. Trust me, Lorcan. Grovel. Grovel like your life depends on it."

"What? Just- But, but if I had satisfied her she'd be even madder! I mean, completely satisfied! Because- Ugh!" Fred tossed his hands up. "Women are more confusing than leprechauns. How can this make any sense?" Fred pulled at his hair. "I can't win."

"It doesn't have to make sense. Just listen to me and you will make it out of this alive!" Felicia ran her hands over her face. "I need a vacation after this." She looked back at Fred. "Sorry, I got carried away." She cleared her throat.

"And I think I need protection from more than just that doctor…"

"Not if you take my advice…." Their eyes met and Felicia took it as a good sign. "It makes sense that Lizzie would be all those things you feel. Mad definitely makes sense. You got her all revved up and then didn't finish, so there's that, and then the fact that it's you and she hasn't processed that yet has probably freaked her out a bit. The connection is promising, though. We'll take it as a good sign." She offered him a wide smile.

 _I really am the worst incubus,_ he thought, forcing a smile back at Felicia. He suddenly felt even guiltier than before about what he'd done in her dream. "It's got to mean something, I suppose." Fred paused, feeling another wave of Lizzie's ire and sexual frustration wash through him. "Kinda glad I'm two dimensions away right now… Snotface needs a cold shower," he whispered, his mouth going dry. "Um." He cleared his throat and tapped the table in an effort to ignore the rush of heat through his body. "So, grovel, and give her puppies and orgasms. Right. I'm gonna end up the first incubus to become a eunuch."

"It's probably for the best that you're here where she can't reach you. I'd want to throttle you if I was her." When he winced, she smiled. "She won't be mad forever. If she's really into you she's not going to want to make you a eunuch. Kinda defeats the purpose." She winked, making him blanch. "So, stop beating yourself up over this. You can fix this. I say my wife was mad, but after we talked we made up, and then we _made up_. Haven't you heard that make up sex is the best kind of sex? Well, I don't know if that is unequivocally true, but it's fun to try." She offered him a small smile. "Hey, they may take away your imaginary friend badge, but no one is taking your penis or your balls on my watch."

Fred stared in shock. "Thanks… and I'll, uh, take your word on the sex," he said, clearing his throat. "And glad to have you watching my bits and all." He smiled, but it died as soon as he realized what he'd said. "I mean- Fuck." He shut his eyes.

Laughing in silence, she winked at him. "Always happy to help a client out."

 _Time for a change of subject._ Fred opened his eyes, thankful she hadn't pointed out his poor word choice. "So, um, I heard my father. When you were gone." He frowned. "He sounds pretty pissed. Loud, too."

"Yes, I think they heard him five dimensions away. I'm beginning to think loudness runs in your family." She rolled her eyes. "He wanted an update and I explained the situation to him." She paused. "So, he knows about you and Lizzie, and he's only pissed off because he's worried. For you." _I hope Andras' not going to be pissed at me for saying that._

Blinking, Fred tried applying worry about him with his father. "That's-" His voice wavered. "That's not true. He's made it clear how he feels about me. You're… You must've been mistaken." He tried to stop it, but he felt his face twist with grief long enough to betray him. "He's only worried how hard this is all gonna be to clean up…"

Felicia's heart twisted at the expression on his face. "I know you don't have an easy relationship with him, but he's not without feeling. Has he actually told you in words how he feels, or are you assuming all his yelling means he hates you and wishes you didn't exist? Believe me. I have been on the receiving end of his wrath. It's not pretty, but yelling is different than actually saying what he thinks." She willed him to believe. "He yells because he cares. Strange way of showing it, believe me, but that's his way. He… he feels like he failed you."

"Failed… me?" he asked, the words like trying to process a foreign language. He'd imagined for centuries that his father might come crawling after him, apologize, and tell him he'd been wrong about everything, but hearing this felt unnatural. Wrong and yet nice. He squirmed, stung by the hope he felt inside.

"He failed… me?" he asked, pointing at himself. Fred laughed to fight his pain. He didn't want to hear this because it couldn't be true. "Yelling's how he cares? Well, what's it mean then when he stops yelling? When you never hear from him and he never tries to bother for nearly two centuries?" His gaze cast to the wall where he'd heard his father's voice booming through. Was he still there?

"You are definitely your father's son. You're both the same." She waved her hands, gesturing at him and the wall. "You think the other hates you and doesn't want to talk, but deep down both of you do. I read about you. You took off and barely ever returned to Lullabi. How can anyone try to reach you and talk if you kept yourself away for years?"

"He knows where Earth is." He shrugged. "And how can you say that? I'm not at all like him. Why does everyone always say that?" He tossed his head back and loudly groaned. "The last time I saw him, he told me that if I kept that suit I might as well not come back! Those were his exact words! The bastard disowned me and in almost a hundred and sixty years I've not heard one peep from him! But I'm sure his guilt must be eating him up because what's a century or two!" Flinging his hands up, Fred knocked the chair away. "I've been on my own and I've been fine and I don't need him anymore." He paced, scowling at the wall.

Felicia sighed. "He makes the same exact face." Fred's expression cleared in defiance. "You're more alike than you want to admit," she added.

"Stop saying that!"

"This is more than just your father being mad at you. It's everyone in Lullabi telling you you're a square peg who should be a round one. I'm not a counselor, I'm just a lawyer, but I know when people are running from something. Just because the people who care about you haven't run after you to make you feel better about the choices you've made doesn't mean they don't still care. Would you have even listened if they had tried? I don't think old you was ready for anything they had to say. Besides, they stayed here and dealt with all the mess you left in your wake." She watched him prowl around like a caged animal. He needed to hear everything and it might as well be from her.

"Mess? What mess? I got clothes, I didn't poo all over the streets here!"

"Yes, I see why your attitude made them all come running after you." She rolled her eyes. "Did you know your brothers, your mother and father, even Shea took heat for what you did? They were all investigated. Your brothers almost lost their jobs and some in Lullabi shunned them altogether. So, maybe, just maybe, you need to see that things have been hard for them, too. Maybe one day you'll realize you do have a family that loves you. I just hope it's sooner rather than later."

Fred's shoulders slouched and he stilled. He hadn't known about any of that. None of them had ever told him. "Shea… and all of them… went through all that over me?" His jaw tightened. _Piss… Now I feel like too big of an ass to keep shouting._

"Your father did damage control and they demoted him, but he managed to smooth most of it over. He even called in a few favors so you got your imaginary friend job. That didn't go over so well with a few members of the council. I heard that meeting was intense. So, yes, there was chaos left behind after you made your grand exit." She smiled. "I see it's like your trademark."

"Wait, my father got me my job?" His eyes widened, but a knock at the door cut into their conversation.

"Yes?" Felicia called as the door opened door and a blonde incubus leaned into the room. "Are they ready for us?" He only nodded. "Thank you," she said. "We'll be right out." The incubus nodded again and ducked away, closing the door behind him. Smiling, Felicia looked back at Fred. "Show time."

"What if I've got a sudden case of stage fright at this juncture?" he asked, taking a step away from the door. Felicia crossed her arms over her chest and grinned.

"Drop Dead Fred getting a case of stage fright? Say it ain't so!"

"I know it's awful, isn't it? Must be regressing to my bashful, old Victorian ways." A smile flashed across his face. "Hey. You called me by my name… Thanks."

"Don't faint on me," she said, laughing. "You're welcome. I think you can use a little, and I stress a little, of Drop Dead Fred in there. Ready to go into the hydra's den?"

"You're right. They couldn't handle me at full Fred. Though, it'd be fun to see that…" He smirked.

"I don't know if I could!" She laughed.

"Baby steps. Can't wear you out on the first day." He winked, but his cheery demeanor dimmed as he looked at the door. Fred realized for the first time in his life he felt out of control in a way that scared him. Soon the council might take away everything he had and loved; everything about himself. Once his trial ended, he wouldn't be Drop Dead Fred anymore, and he wouldn't know who he was either. "Hopefully this can't get any worse… That's what you're here for, right?"

Felicia looked at him, feeling his worry roll off him in waves. "Hey, we're in this together. They are in for the trial of their lives." She grinned. "I know I may be asking a lot, but can you answer their questions as quickly and concisely as possible? Just stick to the facts and not your oh-so-colorful way of phrasing things, if you can."

"I'll try, but if those leprechauns start something, no promises." He grinned.

"Bacchus, help me. They better be on their best behavior, or I might raise hell with them." She glared toward the door. "But, thank you, and remember, like them or not, those lilin have your life in their hands and all our butts are on the line with you. Let's go." She gathered her papers and opened the door. "Ladies first." She waved her hand and winked, inciting Fred to stick out his tongue.

"Suit yourself, but with me it's better to stand upwind," he said, walking through the doorway and wishing the universe would open and swallow him before he reached the courtroom.

"Um, good to know." Felicia wrinkled her nose as she hurried to pace him.


	6. Chapter 6: The Little Incubus

**Authors' Notes** **:**

 ****** _Abhartach is a vampire from Irish folklore._ ******

 ****** _Sluagh is a spirit of the restless dead._ ******

 ****** _Gadaí is Irish for thief._ ******

 _ ******_ _"All mouth and no trousers" is British slang for "All talk, no action."_ _ ******_

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 **For sonambypamby,** **magicmacabre, and ThisisTania_a for their reviews, patience, and motivational pokings to get this posted.**

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 **zombierose3** **:** Here's the chapter at last! I'm SO sorry that took so long. I have two jobs and only one day off a week. :( I promise we're gonna keep going on this one and Second Chances, it will just be slow. Please review, the comments let us know what you like so we can make sure we keep it up. :) Thanks for still reading! Hope you enjoy! (We got the next two chapters written and are editing them.) We'd love to hear what you think of Fred's family.

 **unleashthewords** **:** I hope you enjoy this chapter. Fred's family is hilarious to write and I hope it made you laugh. Because I'm a nerd my love for certain fandoms sometimes shows up in my work. There is an homage to a certain character from a certain video game series in here. I'm wondering if any fellow fans will pick up on it. I even included a quote of his. I'll let you know in the next author notes who it is. :D

 ****** **Disclaimers** **:** We don't own Drop Dead Fred and we aren't making any profit from the story. Ade Edmondson (The Young Ones and Bottom references), Fatal Attraction, Little Red Riding Hood, Joan Crawford, Romeo and Juliet, Cathy and Heathcliff, Mark Antony and Cleopatra, Hitler and Eva Braun, Maury Povich, Tiny Tim, The Little Mermaid, and Home Depot don't belong to us either. (If they did that would be weird.) As mentioned above, there is an homage to a certain character from a certain game. A quote of his is used as tribute only.

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 **Chapter Six**

 _ **The Little Incubus**_

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Together, Fred and Felicia approached the two, large doors at the end of the hall. Fred found them unnecessarily ominous in an already grim setting. They were just as black as the walls, the only sign of their presence being their shimmering, silver handles. Two incubi standing on either side of the doors opened the way for them and Fred took a deep breath as he entered into his own personal hell.

The council room was massive. All of Lullabi could fit inside it with room to spare. Dim trails of light led Fred down the aisle toward the room's center, his lilin eyes easily adjusting to the dark. The cold floor against his bare feet felt smooth, its blackened marble shimmering under his steps. He heard whispers swirling around him from the onlookers, their laughter and jeers, and kept his head down. The light above intensified as he moved forward and Fred wished it would take mercy on him and burn him alive.

 _So, this is where it ends. Under a spotlight without any trousers on_ , he thought, staring upward. He noticed the mysterious light crept out of the expanse above as though it came from nothing. The sight made him feel both empty and small, like the darkness might swallow him up for all his offenses. He shivered and prayed it wouldn't happen as he stopped in the middle of the room and took a seat. He'd been here enough to know this place. Ahead, he noticed the council waiting like a line of vultures, perched on their towering seats and eager to decide his fate. Fred's stomach twisted. _I'm in so much trouble this time..._

Behind him, Felicia sat to Fred's right, listening to the crowd's murmurs and snickers. They weren't here for a trial, they were here for a show. She looked at Fred, his posture rigid as the jeers continued, and she wanted to tell the crowd off. He was one of them, whether he or they wanted to admit it. She just needed to show all of them, especially the council. Straightening her spine, she waited for the council to speak, but a blonde guard waved at Fred.

"Don't worry, Lorky. I'm here!"

Every muscle in Fred's body tensed. He knew that sickly sweet and perky voice, and sneered as Lila waved at him again. "That's not a comfort."

"Lila," said a succubus from the council, "you are not permitted to speak. It's against the rules."

Fred recognized her immediately. Dahlia. She'd always been a stickler for lilin laws, and against his opposing lifestyle choices. He vaguely recalled telling her once to go shag her rule books instead of pissing on his business. As great as it had been, he hoped she'd forgotten...

Raising her dark brows, Dahlia's gaze met Lila's. "Refrain from speaking to the accused." Lila nodded.

"Yes, please," uttered Fred to himself as another succubus huffed out her breath. Her tanned skin contrasted with that of her lighter skinned counterpart.

 _Oh great! Not her, too_. Fred rolled his eyes. _She out evils the Megabitch times a billion squillion._

"Lila, the Hopeless," said the second succubus, "I will only warn you once, and then you will be removed if you cannot contain yourself."

"Romantic," Lila corrected, her voice low. "It's Lila, the Hopeless Romantic. I'm not sure why everyone always forgets that last word."

"Because it's not as true." Fred snickered and received a glare from both succubi.

"Lila, remain silent during the proceedings," the second succubus repeated, "or you will find yourself _hopelessly_ removed from your post, and in isolation. Have I made myself clear?"

"Yes, Padma. My apologies." Lila bowed her head.

"And you," Padma continued, her eyes sharp and unforgiving, "Lorcan, the Virgin Shame."

Fred jumped and pointed at himself, his expression that of feigned innocence.

"You have a talent. Lying with your own face. I hear any further snide remarks, and trust me, you won't like how creative I can get when it comes time for your sentencing."

 _Can't stop me from thinking them, though._ Fred forced a smile, fighting against rolling his eyes. "'Kay!" he said. _Still an Ultra Megabitch after all these years. Big, fat arse surprise. Maybe a house'll drop on her, though._

The council started speaking amongst themselves and Fred's urge to run had never been stronger. Everyone here, save Felicia, and regrettably Lila, wanted the council to lock him away, or worse. _I hate coming home,_ he thought, but a comforting and familiar sensation reached him amidst the hostile vibrations. Turning his head, Fred immediately discovered it came from his mother.

Her loving eyes were like two pools pulling him back to his childhood where he felt small and vulnerable. He couldn't believe after all he'd done, she still looked at him with her soft way that held no judgement. It's why he'd never been able to hide anything from her. She only wanted answers and to soothe him. He loved the feeling, but his own guilt made it too much to bear. Why couldn't she just hate him for running away like everyone else?

Turning from her watery smile, he accidentally locked eyes with his father. Andras wore a scowl, perfected after years of dealing with Fred's messes, and as expected, said nothing. There was no anger, but rather agitation. His mother leaned against his father, clutching his arm. Fred sensed the anxiousness emanating from them both and his guilt resurfaced.

An incubus on the council cleared his throat, breaking Fred's thoughts and commanding everyone's attention. He was tall, with shoulders nearly as wide as his high-backed chair. His dark skin made him almost blend in with the obsidian room and his scowl was a perfect imitation of Andras', which he directed at Fred.

 _Serious Sirius. What a wanker_ , thought Fred.

"Before this trial officially begins, I wish to address a unique situation," he said with a deep and booming voice. Sirius' last words were said with mild disdain and his scowl seemed to say it was all Fred's doing.

"We have various witnesses from neighboring realms who are not used to our ways," he explained. "The council will, therefore, make accommodations for them. We ask that you censor your language while they are present. We also request that you please attire yourselves." He held up a hand when the crowd's murmurs started. "While I understand that this goes against our nature, and some may find it uncomfortable, we wish to be gracious hosts and not cause them distress. If any find this to be too uncomfortable, we ask that you leave the council room."

"Yeah!" Fred whooped. "About time I get some ruddy trousers back!"

Sirius glared at Fred. As one, the council used their powers, black smoke swirling around them, wrapping them in dark, silk material. Sirius stood so every lilin observed the small piece of fabric around his waist just long enough to cover his groin. Beside him, the succubi covered their breasts in black swaths and every lilin present followed the council's examples. Sirius nodded to the guards and their magic swiftly draped Fred in his own obsidian loincloth.

"Fuck! You've put me in a mini skirt!" Fred exclaimed, garnering a harsh glare from Sirius. "Come on! I look like Tarzan! This covers as much as a rubber johnny!"

"Lorcan!" Sirius' voice echoed off the wall, ringing in every lilin's ears. "The council has asked everyone to watch their language! While the witnesses are not yet present, I suggest you act like they are!"

"This is injustice! Preposterous!" He spat. "Watch my language _and_ wear a skirt?! You can practically see my wangle dangles! This cock doily isn't clothes! And I'm uncomfortable watching my language under these circumstances! I should get to leave, too." He crossed his arms and huffed, glancing at Felicia. She shrugged at him.

"Would you prefer we muzzle you?" Padma asked, the gleam in her eyes showing how she felt about it.

 _Not surprised she knows what that is_ , thought Fred, curling his upper lip in disgust.

Rolling her eyes, Felicia looked at Padma, who didn't disappoint in her constant remarks and threats against Fred. Felicia observed Fred's scowl. _Of course he would turn into a drama queen about wearing a loincloth and having to censor himself._ She shook her head. He had just cried about being naked and now he wasn't happy wearing something that would keep him from being naked. Fred was a pain in the ass, but he was her pain in the ass to represent and help. She offered him a small was nothing that could be done about it. Part of her felt bad, but she was also dying to see how things proceeded.

"We will also adjust the lighting so that our guests may see," he added, ignoring Fred and sitting back in his chair. Fred found some satisfaction in the fact that he glimpsed Sirius grinding his jaw in annoyance, but then he realized what he'd said.

"No, no no, no!" he cried. "Don't do that! The witnesses don't need to witness any more! In fact, they don't need to see at all! Let's blindfold 'em and stick 'em in a bag and shove 'em off a cliff!" As if defying him, the room slowly brightened and drew Fred's attention to the familiar faces in the crowd.

His parents sat in the front row with Shea and Gabriel, and Remy waved from behind them. To Remy's right, were their twin brothers, Castor and Pollux. A bald incubus Fred didn't recognize sat between Remy and the twins. Castor wore his usual scowl that he inherited from their father and directed it at Fred, while Pollux offered a sympathetic smile. Both expressions left him just as uneasy. Why were so many of his brothers here?

"Please bring in the witnesses," Sirius called. The guards obeyed, opening the doors at the back of the room.

Namby Pamby sashayed into the room in a rush of pink and grace. Her head high and her arms out, she twirled and landed in a plié, but that's when she noticed her scantily clad audience. Fred watched Namby Pamby go stiff as a board and blush deeper than her clothes. She clutched her wand to her chest and gasped, shielding the heart at the wand's end as if protecting its innocence.

 _Fucking hell, what's she gonna do when she gets an eyeful of me?_

Behind her, Graggy, Go to Hell Herman, and an imaginary friend he didn't recognize nudged her forward. Like a trail of green ducklings, five leprechauns followed them. Herman walked just fast enough that his cape billowed in the lead leprechaun's face and he snorted whenever the leprechaun batted it aside. Fred couldn't help grinning.

 _Herman's a good bloke_ , he thought.

Succubi guards stoically led the oddball procession to their chairs. The imaginary friends sat in a row to Fred's left, and the leprechauns to his right. The five leprechauns resembled a row of cabbages and Namby Pamby like a lone, pink flower facing them.

Fred lowered his head, remaining as still as possible. He wanted to hold onto the few precious seconds he had left before his best friends discovered what he was, and he gave atomic wedgies to every leprechaun and their rainbow.

"I didn't know people had this much skin, did you?" blurted Namby Pamby to her friends. "I just can't fathom." Her nervous laughter sent Fred more on edge, but even more aware of the cool air beneath his loincloth.

 _I was wrong. This is how it ends. In a bloody skirt._

Sirius' jaw clenched and Felicia swore she could hear his teeth grinding. His nose wrinkled as though he smelled something foul. Turning his glare to Padma, he motioned at her.

Padma set her jaw, and inhaled through her nose. Exhaling slowly, she turned her gaze to the imaginary friends, then the leprechauns, a polite smile on her face. "Welcome. On behalf of the people of Lullabi and the lilin council we thank you for coming under these bizarre circumstances. We will attempt to conclude these proceedings as quickly as possible." Her smile vanished and she glared at Fred. "We will begin as soon as our last member arrives." She indicated the empty seat on the other side of the incubi.

"I'm sorry, but I have to ask, Your Honor…" said Namby Pamby. "Where do my eyes go? Do I look here? Do I look there? Should I look away? Is there a time limit for looking?" She fanned herself, another giggle bubbling out as she clasped her hand over her mouth. Fred half-expected her to combust into a rain of pink glitter and stars.

Padma huffed out a breath and looked away. Dahlia leaned forward a hint of a smile on her lips. "I understand this is very different for you. Please just try to concentrate on everyone's faces."

"I'll try." She fanned herself again. "My word." Leaning over, she whispered to Go to the Hell Herman, "No one's going to believe us when we get home."

A leprechaun grumbled to himself and crossed his arms over his chest, the bright green of his suit a beacon in the sea of black around him. He scowled at Namby Pamby and the assembly, but the strange, ginger lilin in the center of the room gave him pause. His brows rose, his face scrunching as he tried to place him until realization finally dawned.

"You!" He gasped. "You filthy, naked, suit-stealing deviant!" His shriek ripped through the murmurs of the room and he jumped on his chair, pointing wildly at Fred. "Where's me suit?"

"You're wearing it, ya pixie's snot droppings!" Fred sneered.

Covering her face with one hand, Felicia sighed. This was going as well as she feared. She prayed to any deity listening that it would not turn into a fist fight.

"I got a new suit since you snatched me old one! Now where is it, Abhartach?" The leprechaun made a rude gesture and Fred's eyes crossed.

"Loudmouth, little eyesore," Shea muttered, crossing her arms over her chest as she glared at the leprechaun. "I hate that suit. It's just like that other suit. Think I can destroy this one and get away with it?"

"Don't even think about it," whispered Gabriel, worried. "You don't need a trial of your own."

"It'd be worth it," Shea said under her breath, still eyeing the offending outfit with a sneer.

Behind them, Remy poked Castor in the shoulder. "I'll bet you a week's worth of work that the leprechaun and our brother come to blows before this is over," he whispered.

Castor snickered and ran a hand through his dark hair. "That's a fool's bet, but I'll take it anyway. Besides, Baby Brother's pretty speedy. I bet he runs away before the little bast- buster gets a tiny hand on him."

"Boys!" Calliope hissed, distressed by both the leprechaun and her sons.

"He can't kill him." Remy observed.

"That's not the point!" Calliope yelled.

"Vesta's tits. This has turned into a freak show," moaned Shea, covering her ears. Gabriel squeezed her knee.

"Language, Gorgeous. Your family's always so much more interesting than mine," he said, watching in fascination.

"Stupid rules! And I'm not taking that as a compliment," Shea hissed.

"I will!" Remy and Castor said as one. Next to them, their brother Pollux sighed.

The mounting noise in the room almost had Fred's head spinning. Between the leprechaun, the imaginary friends, and his family, he wondered if anyone would notice if he just took off into the night. He never thought he'd see the day when his family seemed more chaotic than himself.

"Um… What's happening?" he hesitantly asked, looking between his brothers and sister. Any other day he would have enjoyed this if he weren't standing almost nude in a skirt under a spotlight.

"What's happening is you feckin' caused this row, ya ginger demon!" the leprechaun yelled as he leaned over the partition in front of him.

"Oi, that's it!" shouted Fred, whirling around and stomping his foot. He remembered exactly who this leprechaun was now... "You're the one I've been waitin' for all these years! Go on and say that to my face, Sheamus." He glared, jaw clenched, and waiting for any excuse to knock him off his chair.

"Gentlemen, please," said Lila. "I need you both to calm down, and for you," she added to Sheamus, "to climb down from there and take a seat." Her eyes narrowed. "Now."

"Calm down?!" Fred's voice hitched. "I will _not_ calm down! This Lucky Charms reject bit me!"

The leprechaun roared in outrage. "I ain't calmin' down neither! Not until this pervert gives me my suit and an apology!" He shook his fist and Fred blew a loud, spit-fueled raspberry his direction.

Two leprechauns on either side of Sheamus struggled to pull him down, but he resisted and yelled even louder. Fred egged him on, a twisted smile on his face as he groped himself and lewdly shook it in his fist. The leprechaun roared and knocked one of his friends in the jaw.

"Ya ginger demon!" he snarled, shaking with rage. Fred spun around and waggled his ass at the leprechaun.

At the end of the row, another leprechaun, who appeared unaffected by the uproar, turned his sights on Lila and grinned at her. "Aren't you a fine looking lady? Ever had a roll in the hay with a leprechaun?" He waggled his brows at her and both Fred and Lila choked.

"I…" Nervously, Lila grabbed her hair and twirled it, watching this amorous leprechaun in shock. "Well, no. I'm, I mean, I'm partial to gingers, but… I don't really know what to say."

Covering his face, Fred muttered, "I think I have new reasons not to come home…"

"As if he needed one more," muttered Shea, rolling her eyes.

"I mean, I'm flattered," said Lila, looking the leprechaun over in consideration. "I've just never been in this position before. Leprechauns do seem a very passionate folk..." Sheamus was still fighting his kinsmen and Lila winced when he hit one of them in the jaw.

"We can get in all kinds of positions," the flirtatious leprechaun said, grinning.

"Stop makin' eyes at that blonde she devil," yelled Sheamus, shooting Lila a dirty look and then pointing at Fred. "They're all evil, I tell ya! Steal the clothes off your back! I don't know what for! They all like to be nude! Ya don't want my suit now, so ya can give it back, Ginger Sluagh!"

"Oh-" Sneering, Fred placed two fingers atop his head like devil horns and gnashed his teeth.

Meanwhile, Remy's eyes remained wide at the exchange between Lila and her small suitor. "Hey, buddy!" he called to him. "She may look hot, but soon it gets scary! Like Fatal Attraction! Try another succubus. Uh, like Emmy over there!" He pointed to a surprised guard with wavy, brown hair just opposite Lila. When she saw Remy, she grinned and winked.

"Hey!" Lila pouted, her cheeks turning red. "I'm not some kind of psycho!"

Remy and Fred exchanged a hard look.

"I'm not surprised Remy knows Emmy," said Shea. "Have you slept with all the succubi here?" she asked, curiosity and awe in her voice.

"Emmy and I go way back. Thanks for reminding me about my list." Remy grinned at the third guard standing closest to them - a petite succubus with short, lavender hair. "I need to ask Harmony over there for a nice friendly f-"

"Remy!" Calliope shrieked, glancing at the guests in the room. All the lilin appeared on the edge of their seats, eager for more of their family's travesty. "Language! And this is not about you! We're here for your brother!"

"Yeah, Remy!" Fred shouted, shooting him a look. "Don't ruin this! If small britches wants to take Lila, let him have her." He turned back to the leprechaun and smiled. "How 'bout a trade? The girl for a new pair of trousers? You don't even need to bring her back! And you can take him with you, too!" he added, pointing at Sheamus. "What'd'ya say?"

"Lorky!" Lila gasped, clutching her chest. "Are you seriously trying to trade me for a leprechaun's pants?!"

"You're not getting any more clothes from us, gadaí!" Sheamus yelled, spittle flying as his face turned red.

"Duh!" Fred said, ignoring the irate leprechaun and tilting his head at Lila. "And I'm not your Lorky! Yech! Stop calling me that! It's gross! My name's Fred! Drop Dead Fred!"

"Drop Dead Fred?"

He froze, recognizing the voice even before he turned and saw Namby Pamby's shocked and flustered face. He cringed, the crowd making a noise like a shocked sitcom audience around him.

"It's you- I mean, I knew it was you, but- Goodness!" Namby Pamby wrung her hands. "I don't understand... What are you doing here? Why's your hair darker?"

"I…" He stopped and glanced between her and Shea. Curiously, Fred patted his hair, wondering what shade it had turned. So much time had passed since he'd seen his natural color he couldn't remember it. Namby looked so stricken. How different was it? Would Lizzie freak out all over again the next time she saw him? _Great. Maybe I should get a hat?_ "Um… I had an accident," he answered.

Namby Pamby's eyes widened and she clutched her wand like a stress doll. "Your voice… It's changed, too."

A rough and familiar laugh rang out behind Fred and he suddenly realized who the bald incubus was between Remy and Castor. His brother Adrian. He hadn't recognized him at first since the last time he'd seen him he'd had a full head of blonde hair. Adrian had always loved teasing him as much as Castor did and his newly bald head made him even more intimidating to Fred. _It's almost worse than his punk phase_ , he thought.

Pointing at Namby, Adrian's voice boomed like their father's, save for it's rougher edge, "If she asks him next what big eyes and teeth he has, let me tell you, I'm expecting someone to eat somebody, and my bet's on the bitey leprechaun."

"Will you shut up!" Fred cried.

"I will when you stop being such a whiny girlie!"

"I am not a girlie!" Fred stomped.

"Just when I thought our family couldn't shame itself anymore… enter Ade," mumbled Shea, covering her face.

"Are, too a girlie! Just like Little Red Riding Hood. Scared, girlie, naked… _virgin_." Adrian sneered.

"That's not how the story goes, no brain!" Fred scoffed, looking at him as if he were insane. "Red Riding Hood was never naked!"

"She was in the video I watched them film..."

Fred's unintelligible sound hit a note even he didn't know he could make. His cheeks grew hot and the veins in his neck stuck out. "That's- Ugh! This is why I don't come home!"

"I, for one, am glad he did," Remy said to Castor. "This is the most entertaining thing I've seen in Lullabi in a century."

"I know. Soap operas have nothing on our spaz of a brother," Castor said, watching as Fred's face turned redder.

"Virgin." Adrian snickered as Fred flicked the V's at him. "Bet you don't even know what that gesture means either." He laughed harder as Fred reached out, wishing he could grab his brother and shake him.

"Alright, alright. I'll give you credit where it's due," said Adrian. "I saw what you did with that mortal. Not a bad start."

All sensation left Fred's body and he was sure he'd forgotten how to blink. He'd be stuck staring at Adrian's stupid, smug grin forever. "Ahh!" he shouted. "Why, why, _why_ did you see that?!"

"Um, because it's my job. Supervision. Duh!" Adrian rolled his eyes and Fred noticed his other brothers, and even his mother, suddenly looking interested in the story. "You know, when you blush you match the shade of a nipple."

"Ade! Good god! I'm nothing like a nipple! You that back!"

"Not today, Virgin Nipple of Shame."

"Ugh! Well- Well, you're so bald you look like an ugly penis!" Fred shouted.

Adrian smirked. "I know. The ladies love it. Really gets 'em going."

Namby Pamby's titter broke through the tension and Fred turned back to find a tight-laced smile plastered on her face.

"I don't understand a word of this," she said. "Jiminy Crickets! Help me, I can't get this grin off my face." She patted her cheeks and laughed, half-hysterical. "Fred, you're so-" She squeaked, her gaze passing over his body. "It's you… but-" She giggled. "My goodness, there's-" She laughed again. "I've never seen- There's so much of you!" She crimsoned and covered her mouth, stifling another laugh.

"I know. We have the best view of him." Castor snickered.

"Ugh! Who invited you?" Fred glared at his eldest brother. Why couldn't he be as silent as his twin, Pollux? "Mum, why do I have to have so many brothers?" He whined.

"Cuz Mum and Dad have coitus a lot," quipped Adrian.

"Ugh! Stop talking!" Fred threw his arms up. What he wouldn't give to just be an imaginary friend again, clothed, and not hearing about his parents' sexcapades.

"Brothers?" Namby Pamby whispered. "Fred has… brothers? When did this happen?"

"Namby… Don't you get it?" asked Go to Hell Herman. "Fred's this Lorcan fellow they dragged us here for… and he's got a very strange family."

"He's not like us," said Graggy, sending Fred a remorseful gaze.

"Oh my great stars! Fred, you're one of them?" She motioned to the rest of the lilin.

"Well, yeah, technically, but I'm also one of you guys." He smiled in reassurance, but none of his friends appeared convinced. "I've been one of you for years. You know that. I'm Fred."

"But we didn't know you're also one of the…" Namby Pamby paused and whispered, "... _naked people_."

Shea let out a small snort. She jumped when she was elbowed by both Gabriel and her mother. Grumbling, she crossed her arms over her chest. "He's basically naked."

"I'm not naked!" he cried, voice cracking, but he glanced down at his tiny loincloth, which left little to the imagination. Huffing, he crossed his arms over his chest and tried to cover himself.

"He was naked five minutes ago!" Remy called over to the imaginary friends. "You would've gotten an eyeful then."

"Remy!" cried Fred, stomping his foot. "Generous, but not helpful!"

"Oh my!" Namby Pamby flushed, her eyes widening so much Fred thought they might pop right out of her head and roll away. "I don't think I could- I'm happy I missed that." She snorted, attempting to stifle her laugh. "Fred- I mean… Goodness there's hardly anything covering all the… _naked_." She whispered the last word again, making Fred's eye twitch.

"Yeah. One wrong breeze, or fart and it's naked time," said Herman.

"Then let's not fart, then," said Graggy. He watched Fred's loincloth with great concern.

"If anyone does, I'll get a match for the finale," said Adrian.

Laughter ripped through the air and Fred lost it.

"This is all your fault!" he cried, whipping around at Shea. "Now my friends are afraid to fart around me!"

Her mouth fell open. "Really? You want to blame me for your terrible fashion choices and your friends' issues? That's your major concern right now? That your little friends are worried about you and farts?" She made a sound of disgust in her throat. "Seriously, Mother, you should have stopped at ninety-eight children."

Calliope gasped. "I don't regret having our baby. He's my last one!" Fred smiled at his mother.

"I bet Dad's regretting it," Remy muttered.

"I, Sirius, demand order!" the incubus roared, standing and slamming his fist on the table. Silence descended like a thunderclap while he turned his anger at everyone in the room. "This may not be the usual way of things, but I will not have our ways turned into a mockery!" His gaze fixed then on the leprechauns.

"Sheamus, I would ask that you and your people, please maintain some modicum of restraint and keep your tongues civil and in plain English."

"Yes, Your Honor. Sorry, Your Honor," Sheamus mumbled, his head down.

"The same applies to our audience." Sirius made a point of locking eyes with each member of Fred's family. "You represent our people to those who have little or no contact with us. Show them that we are a dignified people, who are respectful of our guests. And remember… no talking is permitted while the trial is in session."

Andras stood. "I apologize to the council on behalf of my family. We will be silent." He turned to his family and scowled, baring his teeth at his children who all looked suitably chastised.

Clearing his throat, Sirius turned toward the imaginary friends. "I would also remind you, that all I have said applies to you as well. Please remember that." Each imaginary friend shrank back without a sound. Satisfied, Sirius retook his seat and nodded at Padma, but the silence was short-lived.

Head down, Fred snickered at Sheamus. "You got in trouble, wee tosser."

Padma turned her glare on Fred. Before she could speak, a black column of smoke appeared. A tall, lanky incubus emerged, radiating a roguish smile as he took in the room's occupants.

"What did I miss?" He smoothed his mustache as his gaze traveled the room.

Scoffing, Padma rolled her eyes. "Late as usual. Take your seat so we may begin. And do not forget your attire."

The incubus grinned and looked down at his tanned, naked body, which was blocked from view by the council's long, black table. "Ah, yes. We're in formal dress today. Delightful." He waved his hand and black smoke appeared around his lower half and dissipated after a moment. "Sexy, isn't it?" He looked over at Fred, winked, and took his seat.

"More like microscopic," Fred muttered, rolling his eyes.

Padma sighed. "Back to business… Lorcan, the Virgin Shame." Padma barked, her dark eyes fixated on Fred. "You will not address the witnesses unless ordered to."

Fred pretended to yawn while dramatically fanning his open mouth.

Pursing her lips, Padma sent a small twinge of magic directed right at Fred's gut.

"Ah, you witch!" he cried, doubling over with a hiss. "I've been hexed!" Fred coughed. Cringing, he waited out the burning sting of Padma's magic that bounced around his insides. _Fuck, I hate her so much._

Suppressing her grin, Padma ignored Fred and looked at the assembled guests. "To our guests, I apologize for the unorthodox ways of this lilin and for the delay." A muscle in her jaw twitched. "I am Padma, of the council, and I thank you for coming here from so far away. You have been called to give your testimonies about Lorcan. I realize some of you do not know him by that name, but it is his name here; his proper name," she emphasized, glaring at Fred. "And since the list of offences by this lilin is astronomical, we will begin with the violations he committed as an imaginary friend." Padma said the last two words as if she tasted something bitter. It was subtle, but there, and Felicia frowned.

She had expected the council to be mad at Fred, but this was something else entirely. It was barely hidden animosity, at least from two of the council.

Raising his hand, Fred chewed the inside of his cheek to keep himself from telling Padma exactly where she could stick it. He hated that she used his lilin name like an underhanded dig in front of everyone. "I'd still like to be called Fred," he said, biting his cheek harder. Staying polite already rivaled maintaining his control with Lizzie. "If it's alright with you," he added.

Beside him, Felicia swore a muscle in Padma's jaw twitched. She seemed to either consider his request, or fight for composure. Felicia bet it was more likely Padma just tried to keep from strangling Fred.

"This council recognizes you as Lorcan, and it will not be discussed further," Padma finally responded. She looked out toward the audience. "There are sixteen charges in regards to your imaginary friend job." Padma said 'job' as if the word were an insult, making both Felicia and Fred grind their teeth. "Given the amount of evidence against you in regards to these charges, you have been deemed guilty. Do you have anything to say?" Her eyes gleamed with excitement for his response, as if she craved to put him in his place.

"I have a lot to say, actually…" he muttered, crossing his arm and raising his chin. Felicia gasped, the act nearly choking her, and Fred heard the rest of the room follow like a chorus. Padma flashed him a fierce grin, as if already gloating over her victory.

"Oh, shit. This is about to get crazy," Remy murmured.

"Don't do it," Pollux said, his quiet voice reaching Fred's ears.

"You-" Fred snuck a peek at his family. All of them looked so worried, and though the council had lessened his powers, he swore he felt them like a wave. Pollux's warning sobered him the most. His brother usually remained silent about the messes he caused and chose to speak when it mattered most. Suddenly all Fred could think about was Lizzie. If his big mouth continued with his sentence Padma would never let him see her again.

 _I hate that old gargoyle so much_ , he thought, clenching his fists, but he forced a smile at her instead. "You should hear from my lawyer about it, though," he said. The entire room gasped, but Namby Pamby's echoed the loudest.

"I feel like I don't even know him anymore!" she exclaimed.

Standing in stunned silence, Felicia didn't know if she wanted to laugh or cry. It was a miracle. She could have kissed Fred. "Thank you, Lorcan. I would like to address a few things…" Felicia squared her shoulders and met Padma's scowl with a smile.

"As far as this charge goes against my client for failing to close the link between himself and his charge, I'd like to say that he was unable to do so, and this was never addressed by his supervisors. If the persons in charge could not see this error and correct it, how can my client be blamed for an oversight on their watch?"

"If I may speak, Padma?" Dahlia said, her voice softer, but still possessing authority. Her black hair gleamed under the light, falling across her slim shoulders as she leaned forward.

"You may," answered Padma, sitting back and drumming her fingers on the dark surface of the table in front of her.

"Thank you. I am Dahlia, of the council. I would like to ask a question of the imaginary friends' council member who is with us today. Sir, were you aware of this oversight before you were asked to come here today?"

A rotund man, donning an orange and yellow-splattered toga straightened in his chair. He saluted Dahlia and bowed his head as if he didn't know which greeting was customary.

"Uh, I… No, Your Honorableness." He glanced at Fred with clear confusion. "The IF council wasn't aware of that at all. In fact, no IF leaves a charge without closing their old link first." His eyes squinted the longer he watched Fred. "This shouldn't have happened. We don't give new friends to anyone still attached and we've always kept a sharp eye on him. We wouldn't have reassigned him if we knew. We only just learned this evening about his return six months back to Elizabeth Cronin, and he's had two new assignments since then."

Namby Pamby gasped. "Fartacus! You mean you _knew_ he was one of…" She hesitated and leaned closer to him, cupping her mouth for discreteness. "The nakeds?" Fred dropped his head back and huffed, making Namby jump. "Sorry, Fred."

"Yes, I knew." Fartacus sighed. "All the council did, but now's not a good time to talk." He nodded toward the lilin council and Namby Pamby pretended to zip her mouth shut and throw away a key.

Dahlia's finely arched brows rose. "While I would never presume to tell another council how to perform their duties I am more than willing to point out a failing in their ability to perform said duties," she said, her voice as soft as her gaze was hard.

Felicia had seen that look directed at many lilin and felt bad for the strange man caught in its sights now.

"You are telling this council," Dahlia continued, "that your own council was completely unaware that one of its agents had failed in a task, and was allowed to go on to a new position with no one the wiser until now?" Dahlia leaned so far forward Felicia thought she'd fall over.

"Am I?" Fartacus squeaked and scratched his head. "I mean, I am. I think. That does sound like what I said, but it sounds pretty terrible when you say it with that face. Goodness gracious." Red-faced, Fartacus smoothed his toga and looked meekly up at Dahlia. "Would you like me to explain?"

One dark brow rose as Dahlia stared at Fartacus. "It was meant as censure. I am not sure it stuck." She tilted her head, her expression giving nothing away. "I would very much like to hear an explanation. I suspect it will be fascinating."

Fartacus blinked. "If you're wanting someone sticky, that's Velcro Head. My expertise is farting with a Roman fury. My melodies bring my mother to tears."

"No!" Graggy gasped before Go to Hell Herman covered his mouth.

"You wanna get us trouble? Don't interrupt!" Herman hissed, but a muffled plea from Graggy leaked through his grasp.

"Please! Fred'll be naked!" Graggy slapped his friend's arms for freedom.

"Boys!" Namby Pamby said, glancing between them and the council. They ignored her and she raised her wand, ready to strike.

A loud, drawn out fart shook the room as Fartacus let loose. His trumpet stopped his imaginary friends' unruly antics and they each covered their ears. They screamed, but their sounds drowned under the mighty thunder. Chairs shook, the hair atop everyone's heads vibrated, and Drop Dead Fred shoved his fingers into his ears before he fell to his knees. Other lilin clamped their hands over their ears, cringing and staring in horror as the sound shook the walls. Only Sirius, through sheer will, remained immobile as he glared at Fartacus. Shea was both horrified and fascinated. Suddenly, her brother's fascination with snot seemed appealing.

A final squeak from Fartacus and the onslaught ceased, all the imaginary friends panting and trying to straighten out their vibrating eyeballs. Slowly, the rest of the room resumed their seats, casting worried glances at an unfazed Fartacus. Felicia saw that Sirius ground his teeth as he glowered at the imaginary friend who had caused the uproar.

Smoothing his toga once again, Fartacus smiled up at Dahlia. "I'm sorry. Sometimes it takes a fart to regain the order. You know how it is."

"Ya didn't have to include me in that, you know!" Fred shouted, rolling his eyes and blinking several times until his vision righted itself.

"That was a bonus. For certain circumstances," he answered, glaring at Fred.

"Pfft!" Fred crossed his arms. "Being here's punishment enough. Look what they're making me wear!"

Frowning, Fartacus appeared sympathetic for a moment - but only a moment.

Standing, Padma pointed a finger at Fartacus. "Do that again, and it will be the last sound you ever make," she ground out through clenched teeth.

"Yes, Ma'am." Fartacus paled, becoming a perfect contrast to the blackened room. "I should, uh, get back to my story. It's, well you see, we, that is the IF council, run on an honor system. If there's a problem, an IF comes straight to us, or there'll be consequences. And Drop Dead Fred agreed to follow our system when he joined us," he said, glancing at Fred, who casually rocked onto his heels. "And we have no records of him ever trying to report that his link with Elizabeth Cronin couldn't close. In fact, I've never heard of such a thing ever being an issue for any IF and I'm over nine hundred and two-and-a-half years old tomorrow."

Fred heard Padma mumble the words "honor system" and "ridiculous," but his rocking halted at something else.

 _Closing the link's never been a problem before?_ Suddenly, he cared about Fartacus' long-winded story.

Narrowing his gaze, the man continued, "As for his new assignments… This is embarrassing... Um, there's been some changes in our security. New IFs have been put to work overlooking the assigned imaginary friends. Trainings might have been rushed. We're still looking into it, but so far we know that Captain Cankle wasn't properly briefed on Drop Dead Fred's... unique restrictions. He found nothing suspicious with Fred's charge being a grown up woman. In fact, Captain Cankle thought Elizabeth was just big for her age…" He frowned in dismay. "And again, we all trusted that Fred would tell us if there was a problem."

"Fartacus," said Dahlia, "I understand that there is fault on Lorcan's side, but for your system to have no checks and balances is very concerning, especially when you have a lilin under your charge. The rules regarding his activities were explained in detail to your council before you took him in, and now you're telling us that he was assigned a new supervisor who was unaware of his supervisory requirements?" Her voice rose an octave on the last word and she leaned forward, her gaze boring into Fartacus.

"Um." Fartacus tapped his forehead, thinking it over. Suddenly seeming satisfied, he nodded. "Yes. I'm certainly telling you that." His smile faded as soon as he noticed the glare from the council. "But I can explain that, actually." He fidgeted. "Uh, I've been told by Wet Willy that everyone forgot to tell Captain Cankle because we've thought of Drop Dead Fred as one of us. He's been with us so long. And he's never caused any problems outside of some manic moments, and every time he's proved safe… I guess it got hard to think of him as… anything else than an IF."

Fred winced at those last words and stared at the floor, balling his fists. It took everything he had to remain still. _Well, that's a lovely gut punch._

"I see," Dahlia said, sitting back in her chair. "So, aside from this glaring oversight you have been satisfied with Lorcan's performance as an imaginary friend?"

"Absolutely! He's made every child he's been assigned to happy." Fartacus nodded, wildly and Fred smiled.

Pausing, Dahlia looked from Fartacus to Fred and back. "And you are certain no one knew about the connection between Lorcan and the mortal woman?"

"Yes-"

Namby Pamby slowly raised her hand. "Um, I knew," she said, quietly. Every pair of eyes in the room focused on the imaginary friend clad in bright pink with cheeks to match. "Fred told me."

"When did Lorcan tell you about this?" Dahlia cleared her throat.

Felicia leaned forward, her gaze focused on Namby Pamby. She willed the giggly imaginary friend to help their case.

Covering her blushing cheeks, Namby Pamby took a deep breath as she noticed all the lilin watching her. "So… much… oh my… skin," she muttered. A giggle escaped her and she bit her lip to stop it, resulting in an unfortunate snort. "Oh, I'm sorry! I'll try to stop that." She giggled. "It's hard to hold it in. Um, Fred… he told me the night he left her. Several months ago." Another giggle. "He, he asked for my help." Namby Pamby clasped both hands over her mouth to keep silent as she watched Dahlia.

The gorgeous, impassive face of Dahlia broke into a half-smile at Namby Pamby's tittering. "And did you help him?"

"Mmhmm." She nodded, her eyes big as she uncovered her mouth just long enough to speak. "We tried all night. It just, it's like the link fought back? I'm sorry, I don't know how else to describe it. We did everything right."

Felicia grinned. The information had to help. She looked from Namby Pamby to Dahlia and hoped Dahlia would at least take it into consideration.

Her stoic demeanor in place again, Dahlia noticed Fred giving Namby Pamby a grateful look. Namby didn't notice, though, her eyes avoided focusing on any of the lilin for too long. "And you didn't tell your superiors?" she asked her.

Shaking her head, Namby Pamby uncovered her mouth again. "No. Fred-" She stopped, rethinking her wording. "Lorcan… Sorry, it's confusing. Anyway, I thought he'd tell them himself. She was his charge, not mine." She recovered her mouth.

"And you never discussed this again?" Dahlia's gaze narrowed as Namby Pamby only shook her head.

Letting out a breath, Dahlia looked up at the ceiling. "Juno, give me fortitude. This is the most unorganized and unorthodox system I have ever encountered, and the consequences of said system are problematic."

"So, slap on the wrist?" asked Fred with a hopeful grin.

"Hush." Dahlia glared. "That being said, I believe the issue of Lorcan's culpability is not as severe as previously determined. That does _not_ , however, warrant a slap on the wrist… I would like to know your reasoning for not informing your supervisor, Lorcan."

Taking a deep breath, Fred shared a quick look with Felicia. "I thought eventually it'd go away..." He waved a hand. "And I was reassigned immediately, so I got busy impressing my new charge and forgot about it." He shrugged.

Dahlia's brows rose, unimpressed. "So you decided to ignore the honor system?"

"No. You're putting words in my mouth. I got busy with work." He crossed his arms and smiled.

"You were allowed this position on the contingency that you follow all lilin and imaginary friend rules." Dahlia's voice was tense. "You were not too busy to tell your colleague. Instead, you chose to go on with your next assignment, which I would imagine would require you to speak with a supervisor, so I believe my statement that you ignored the honor system is in fact correct."

His shoulders slumped. "Alright. Look, I didn't wanna get in trouble again when all I did was help out an old friend. Who I was ripped away from years before because of my behavior, thank you very much. I only tried to do a good thing here and help her like I should've before, and then I left, like I was supposed to. Done. The end."

A small smile appeared on Dahlia's face. "Honesty from Lorcan. How refreshing." She glimpsed Padma out of the corner of her eye scowling at Fred. "Lorcan, this council is trying to determine your fate," she continued. "When you choose to be less than truthful it only works against you. You had a duty to tell your supervisor about the connection with the mortal and you failed in that duty. This is something the council takes very seriously. You are an untrained incubus moving among mortals. It is for their safety we have these rules, whether you agree with them or not."

"I'd never do anything to hurt Lizzie. Or anyone," he said, grief lacing his voice. "Every charge is important to me. I chose to help a friend over the rules. I'm not a monster for it."

"No one said you were a monster." Her gaze softened. "You're a concern for flouting all the rules." Fred went uncharacteristically quiet, seeming contemplative even. Dahlia smiled. "Felicia?" she asked.

"Yes?" She blinked, surprised at Dahlia's unusual display of empathy and being addressed so suddenly.

"Before we continue, do you have any questions for this witness?"

"I believe she has addressed everything. Thank you." She and Namby Pamby shared a smile, but the imaginary friend quickly looked away. "Though I would like to ask for statements on Lorcan's character from his other friends here today," she said, gesturing at Go to Hell Herman and Graggy. She stared at the motley crew of imaginary friends. She hadn't expected such colorful characters. They were such a contrast to the lilin. Both imaginary friends squirmed in their seats, casting anxious glances about the room and pausing on Fred.

"Very well," said Dahlia. "I am sure we are all full of curiosity regarding their thoughts of Lorcan."

"Well, um," Go to Hell Herman began, his voice rough, "I've only got one thing to say about Fred, and that's: he's Fred. He's the best at it."

Felicia tilted her head in confusion. "What exactly does that mean? Can you explain what that means for those of us who don't know Fred?"

"Means he's fun, he's messy, he cares about the kids, and he's a good friend. On top of that, he's got an out of sight imagination all of us can barely keep up with. All of that equals Drop Dead Fred. I don't care who this 'Lorcan' is, but Fred's one of us, through and through," said Herman, the corner of his mouth pulling up ever-so-slightly as he made eye contact with Fred and winked. Fred looked back, a grateful, yet somber smile on her face.

"The Fred we knew, at least," Graggy reminded, holding a weary gaze on Fred. "We'd been friends for years. No one made us all laugh harder, or grossed us out more than Fred. His charges ranked among the happiest, I hear. I've even tried to model some of my work after his. He was a good person. Always there when you needed him." Graggy smiled, sadness in his eyes.

"I'm not dead, ya know!" Fred shouted, flinging out his arms.

Graggy rubbed his eyes and sniffed. "Gonna miss him, Old Fred."

"I'll miss Fred, too," said Namby Pamby, dabbing her eyes.

"Um, hello! Standing right here! Alive. Are you blind and deaf?" Fred stomped, indignantly.

"At least the suit's dead," Shea said, grinning.

"Old Fred?" Remy echoed. "Did they put him out to pasture?"

Tossing his head back, Fred groaned. "Really, you're all impossible and this is complete and utter bollocks." He crossed his arms, mumbling, "I want my suit."

"I think we've all gotten off track," Felicia said, looking with confusion at the imaginary friends. "Uh, Fred was, I mean Lorcan is, uh." She paused and shook her head. "Thank you for your statements about my client."

"Do you have anything else you wish to bring to the council's attention regarding Lorcan and his imaginary friend duties?" asked Dahlia.

"Yes, thank you." She looked at each member of the council, her head high. "Lorcan has not been an ideal incubus. I believe most, if not all, of Lullabi is aware of this. Being different is not a crime. Lorcan has tried to abide by the laws of Lullabi to the best of his abilities. His situation is unique and becoming an imaginary friend is a first in our very long history."

"As we have heard," she went on, "he has been an exemplary imaginary friend. He has not been perfect, but he has made a difference in many mortal children's lives. He tried to help one of those children when she had grown up. Perhaps it was misguided, but it came from a good place. We all know that the best laid plans can go to waste, and Lorcan's plan to help didn't go as intended. He left before his plans could come to complete ruin and before a mortal could be harmed. I ask the council for leniency and that they take into account Lorcan's work and his care for his charges."

Holding his breath, Fred waited for the council to make their judgement. Though they were silent, he knew they deliberated telepathically amongst themselves. _Please, please, please…_ he begged to any gods listening, seconds seeming to stretch on forever. He hated waiting, and quiet. It seemed the very air froze, making it impossible to breathe and like he'd fallen into oblivion. _Please. For Snotface's sake._ He squeezed his eyes shut tight.

"It shall be taken into consideration," said Dahlia as Fred loudly exhaled, "along with all the evidence before us, but I believe there are other issues to discuss."

Fred managed a meek smile at her. He knew how lucky he was to get the council to even consider anything about his actions, and he was grateful, but he couldn't bring himself to say it aloud. Today was bad enough. He nodded in thanks at Felicia.

The incubus who had yet to speak, folded his hands atop the bench and leaned forward. "Yes, quite a few in fact. I'm prepared to discuss Lorcan, the Virgin Shame's activities in Ireland during the mortals' year of 1714. Our guests," he said, addressing the leprechauns, "have many accusations toward Lorcan. For those who don't know me, I am Valerian, of the council. Sheamus, tell us about how and why Lorcan assaulted you and your men."

Sheamus grinned and jumped to his feet. "At last! You'll be hearin' my side, which is the correct one! That ginger demon," he said, pointing for emphasis, "came to our realm and stole my suit! We offered him other charms, but he was dead set on me suit for his filthy ways! Brigid knows what he's done to violate it! He struck me in the face and knocked Connor out cold! Old MacGregor, who couldn't be here, broke a hip! He's nine hundred and ninety! That sex demon would have taken all our clothes, but we chased him away with our canes! I demand my property back!"

It took all of Valerian's strength not to roll his eyes in front of their tiny guests and he forced a practiced smile instead. His gaze did not waver once toward Fred because if it did, his composure would break.

"I understand your frustrations, but if you use the term 'sex demon' once more in this room you will be removed." He sighed and ran a hand over his dark and slicked back hair. "Do you have any evidence of Lorcan's actions after so long? You're saying he just showed up and began the assault? For a suit?" Valerian furrowed his brow and Sheamus looked momentarily contrite.

"Apologies, Your Honor," said the leprechaun before glaring at Fred. "Who knows why the se- The, er, that fella over there wants to steal our clothes. He made up some nonsense about not wanting to fornicate with women! Who heard of such a thing! His lady friends have leprechaun fetishes, I'd wager! The ladies love the Irish!" He posed for a moment, grinning proudly.

Fred unabashedly wretched. "Oh, puke!"

The leprechaun who had propositioned Lila earlier, winked at her. "'Tis true. We're genuine lady killers. It's the accent."

"Charmer." Lila flushed and twirled a strand of her hair.

Valerian pursed his lips and took a moment to himself for strength. "It's this council's great regret that Lorcan's claims about abstaining from sex are true. Strange as it is. Regrettably, however, there's no disputing that Lorcan took your suit."

"Vindication!" Sheamus yelled in triumph. "You'll be paying me back for my suit, ginger d-delinquent!"

Fred sneered and stuck out his tongue at the feisty leprechaun. "It's a suit! I didn't take your pot of gold and piss on it!"

"As if an idiot like you could find it." Sheamus scoffed.

"What's that, moldy ant? I can't hear you?" Fred put his hand to his ear and looked around as though he couldn't see Sheamus.

"Are you going to let him talk to you that way, Lorcan?" Remy said from his seat.

"Don't cheat when we have a bet going!" Castor said, reaching over and punching Remy in the arm.

"For fu- Freud's sake," Shea muttered, covering her face. _My brothers make it so hard not to cuss._

"Are you betting on me behind my back?" Fred cried, Fred spinning around at his brothers.

"We've been looking at your naked back, might as well bet on it." Remy snickered.

Fred's face almost turned purple. "That's just-"

"Hey!" Adrian interjected. "Why wasn't I let in on this bet? My eyes are just as sore as yours." A smack sounded as Fred covered his face and groaned.

"Silence!" Sirius' voice echoed in the room. Felicia winced and some of the lilin jumped in their seats.

"He's louder than Father," Shea mumbled.

"We will have order, or there will be penalties," Sirius continued, his voice only slightly lower. "One more outburst from the back and you will be sentenced yourselves and then ejected!"

Valerian squeezed his folded hands and nodded at Sirius. "Thank you," he said, but didn't look at him. Instead, he turned to Fred and said, "I'm trying to hold my patience, Lorcan... Judgement is still being determined about whether you assaulted the leprechauns."

"If I may suggest," said Felicia, "there is the option of looking into Lorcan's memories for the truth of the matter."

"No!" Fred and Valerian said as one.

Fred chortled, casually waving his hand. "I'm sorry, I don't know why that slipped out. I mean, go on."

Valerian cast him a sly grin. "Going into Lorcan's memories won't be necessary at this time. This council dislikes being so invasive unless absolutely necessary, and we believe this matter may be solved without force," replied Valerian, as he beheld Fred. _And we won't get any proof of the assault this way_ , he thought. "Take this as Lorcan's chance to prove he can be a forthright and honest citizen." Valerian smiled, noting the way Fred's eyes rolled before he closed them as if to regain his patience.

"As for the matter of the suit…" Valerian continued. "Tell me, of all the suits in all the universe, Lorcan, what possessed you to take a leprechaun's?"

Fred shrugged. "Because I needed that suit, and they started the brawl." He pulled a face at Sheamus and crossed his arms. "And it was a fair trade."

"Hold on. Back up a moment… _That_ particular suit? Why?" Valerian tilted his head. "There are…" He paused as he considered the leprechauns. "...less flashy suits in the world. Lots of them, in fact."

"And they're not full of leprechaun magic, are they?" Fred sang back.

"I can't tell if you're patronizing this council, or just answering honestly…" Valerian rubbed his temples. "Why, Lorcan, did you need a suit full of leprechaun's magic?"

Fred smirked. "Because I needed it to suppress my nature. Duh!"

Valerian blanched. "Just why and how would you think this suit would do _that_?" His voice rose in confusion.

"The Fates said it'd work," Fred said, shrugging again.

Eyes widening, Valerian turned to his fellow council members. Padma looked like she had choked, while Sirius appeared as though he had eaten something foul. The others just seemed shocked.

"You have got to be joking," Shea whispered.

"The fu- I mean, the Fates?" Remy cried. "Seriously?! He met them one time and I was there!" he hissed. "I don't remember them telling Lorcan anything. I was admittedly trying to get up Chloe's skirt, but that's beside the point."

"Maybe if you spent less time fu-fornicating with everyone and more time paying attention you would remember," Shea snapped back.

"What are you, my mother?" Remy pulled a face and mocked her.

"I am your mother!" Calliope hissed, managing to not scream for once. "Remy, you were supposed to look after your brother!"

"I did! And what happened? Probation." Remy crossed his arms and slouched in his seat, looking like a mirror image of Fred.

"Probation? It's catching. Spreading like a plague. I've got it, too," added Adrian.

Andras rubbed the bridge of his nose, refusing to look at anyone. "Calliope, we should have stopped at fifty."

Calliope gasped. "How can you say that about our children? They are precious! We love all of them!"

"Some more than others," Castor muttered.

Pollux elbowed him. "Shush, or we'll all get kicked out and thrown in prison."

"Your family is definitely more interesting than mine," Gabriel reemphasized. "Probably more than anyone's."

"Please don't remind me," said Shea. "Can I petition to leave this family?" She looked at her lover, pleading with him.

"Mother?" asked Adrian, leaning toward her. "Are you sure Lorcan's not adopted, or that you didn't, you know, have it off with another incubus one night? Even a mortal? No judgement, but now would be the time to speak up, I think."

Calliope tilted her face, her nose in the air. "I am completely committed to your father- Who is the father of all of you!"

"Too bad we don't have Maury, or paternity tests," Remy mumbled, still slouching.

"Remy! Sit up!" cried Calliope, glaring at her son. "And your father is your father! He is everyone's father! I mean, he is the father of all my children!" she said, looking distressed. "Such troublesome behavior is from his side of the family."

Andras managed a grin and squeezed his wife to his side. "And you wouldn't have it any other way."

To their left, Namby Pamby gaped at Fred's family, having witnessed the entire conversation. "Fred, you come from such very colorful stock." He snorted in response.

The council, in their state of shock, had taken to conversing telepathically amongst themselves, but the ongoing dramatics shook them from their stupors...

"Order, please!" Dahlia called over the din. Her eyes, lit with interest, were trained on Fred. "Lorcan, what did you mean the Fates said a leprechaun suit would help you?"

Fred scrunched his nose, wondering what had been so unclear about his statement. Maybe they'd all gone deaf after so many centuries and the urge to shout that at them ticked inside him like a time bomb. It took all his strength to bite back his remark. _Wasted opportunity,_ he thought, picturing Lizzie's face in his mind to remain on his best behavior. _As much as I love her, this is insufferable._ He sighed.

"The blonde, girlie one said if I wanted to fight my nature, the only thing in the universe was leprechaun's magic. It's, I don't know," he said, waggling his fingers as he tried to remember the right wording. Truthfully, he hadn't paid too much attention to all the details back then. He'd been too eager that there was a solution to his problems at all. "Their magic's incompatible with ours. The opposite, really."

Valerian's jaw dropped. "The suit… You used the suit to- Mother Lilith, I can't speak!" he declared, holding his head. "You mean you avoided feeding for so long because of the- That's abominable! No wonder you lost your senses!" Valerian stood up from his chair and stepped behind it, disappearing from everyone's view. "I must collect myself. Excuse me a moment."

"We will call a short recess," declared Dahlia, hurrying over to Valerian who was in the middle of breathing exercises. One by one, the entire council vanished in clouds of black smoke.

Behind Fred, Adrian shouted, "You tried to _bottle_ it _up_?"

Turning around, Fred saw his brother in complete astonishment. "Yeah, so?"

"So?! All this time I just thought you were funny with unbelievably bad taste!"

"If only it was unbelievably bad taste. He's in fucking denial." Remy glowered at Fred.

The imaginary friends gasped at Remy's language and clapped their hands over their ears, but no one paid them any attention.

"He wants to play human with the humans." Remy sneered, looking just like Fred. He paused then snapped his fingers. "Like the Little Mermaid! 'I wanna be where the people are!'" Remy sang off-key and loudly as he rolled his eyes at Fred.

"I hate my family," Shea muttered.

"Ditto," said Fred, scowling at Remy. _I'm not the Little Mermaid. Just because I wanna be human and- Ah fuck! I hate him._

"They're really growing on me," Gabriel said, wincing as Remy hit a high note.

"Keep them," Shea said, covering her ears.

"He really _is_ the Little Mermaid," Castor said, amazed. "I never would've thought it, but it makes perfect sense."

Adrian snorted. "Can we call him the Little Incubus then?"

"Shut up about that!" Fred cried.

Calliope turned around and slapped Remy upside his head. "Stop that!" Remy's crooning ceased and he slouched in his chair.

Snickering, Adrian said, "You know the thing about bottling is, you shake it up enough it explodes! It's a lot like masturbation. You know about that, right, Baby Brother?"

"I- Piss off! How dare you accuse me of masturbating!" Fred flicked the V's at him.

"Sad, that." Shaking his head, Adrian glanced at Remy. "Explain this to me, 'cuz I'm havin' a bit of trouble picturing it… So, you leave him with the Fates _one_ time, and he thinks he's found the cure all for lust?"

"I'm sorry, I'm on probation!" Remy said, sneering on the last word. "I'm off the clock."

Fred rolled his eyes at Adrian. "It worked, didn't it?"

"I saw what you did live. Didn't look like it was working to me! Was like a volcano erupting! Krakatoa Lorcan!" Adrian made whooshing sounds as he flung his arms up for show, then nodded to Castor and Pollux. "The girl's lucky she didn't lose an eye!"

Castor's brows rose at Fred. "Are you sure that suit did what it was supposed to? Everyone knows you finger fucked a mortal. Was that written on the tag? 'Made in Ireland. May cause compulsion to give hand jobs to women.'"

As soon as Castor stopped talking the imaginary friends, who had lowered their hands, gasped and clapped their hands to their ears again.

Pollux's face turned red and he started coughing.

"That is fucking hilarious!" Remy snorted, his shoulders shaking with laughter.

"Ah," said Adrian, lifting a finger. "Does that make his fingers more of a lilin than he is? Lost their virginity before he did, and to a mortal at that!"

"Of course he couldn't lose his virginity like a regular lilin," Remy muttered. He looked over at Castor. "I bet you his tongue is the next part of him he de-virginizes."

Adrian tossed his head back and chuckled. "And you know he'll save his cock for last. It'll be the longest deflowering in history."

"Damn, that's not fair. What if she sucks him off? Will his penis be partially de-virginized?" Castor frowned as he thought it over. "Are we measuring it by vagina to body part, or any sexual act?"

"All good questions," said Adrian, scratching his chin. "I mean, we have penetration with a mouth and a vag-"

"Ade!" Fred squeaked, red in the face. "Stop talking about mine and Lizzie's parts! I've only just calmed down!" He ran his hand over his face.

"Doesn't really feel like it," commented Adrian, turning back to his brothers. "I smell a bet, though. I put three days' work on a blow job first. That mortal of his looked pretty eager for our baby brother." He winked at Fred, who gasped.

"She did not! I mean- Ugh! I'm not having this conversation. This is why I don't come home!"

"Tongue," Remy said, grinning at Fred.

"Fuck! He's not kinky enough for ass," Castor grumbled. "I'm out."

"Language!" Lila shouted, but no one paid any attention.

"Good!" shouted Fred. "I wish you'd leave entirely!" He glared at Castor and then Remy and Adrian. "Quit planning how I'm gonna have sex! I'll do it how I want to!" After realizing his very committed statement, Fred stopped. _What have I done?_ he thought, gaping at his brothers in horror. All of them had grins that surpassed the a cheshire cat's.

"Oooh," said Adrian. "Baby Brother finally wants to do it!"

"She must have magic hands. You're already planning on an encore. Need any tips?" Remy grinned, rubbing his hands in glee.

"You better do the the deed in her dreams," Castor said. "She might be disappointed in the real thing."

"Be nice to your brother!" Calliope hissed. "He'll be perfect. Just like his father. A natural at sex."

"I hope this Lizzie wants ninety-nine kids then," Castor muttered.

"Mum! What! Ugh! Stop comparing my sex life with Dad! And-" His cheeks puffed. He couldn't even respond about the kids comment.

"Ooh," Remy crooned in a high voice. "Look at the big shot. A couple of hand jobs and he's suddenly got a sex life."

"Well, she did use both hands. Girl's got some skills. She must be good," said Adrian.

Fred rolled his eyes. "Of course she is, or I wouldn't be here," he muttered.

Adrian snorted and for a moment appeared both surprised and impressed with his brother's remark. He nodded at Castor and Remy. "Maybe we oughta visit this magical mortal who broke our baby brother's chastity belt."

Clenching his jaw, Fred pointed at Adrian. "Don't you dare go near her!"

"I'm not on probation. Maybe she'll use those magic hands on me," Castor said, his eyes locked on Fred's red face.

The whole family waited for Fred's reaction.

Fred didn't remember leaving his spot in the center of the room. He'd rushed over to where his family sat, standing right before his father and pointing over him at Castor. "Don't you touch her, or I swear I'll ask the Fates for a way to make you impotent!"

Everyone stared at Fred in shock.

"Lorcan! That's not a nice thing to say to your brother!" Calliope hissed. "He needs to give me grandchildren, too!"

"Oh, are your new best friends, _the Fates_ , going to help you figure out how not get thrown into a tiny cell, too?" Castor scoffed. "You're the one who's on trial, and lilin can't be impotent." He rolled his eyes.

Fred sneered at his brother, hating him for making him as flustered as when he was a child. "Then I'll just think of something else and it'll be terrible and I won't tell you what is! So stay away from Lizzie, or else!"

Adrian raised his brow. "One mortal lures your forbidden fruit out of the cloister and suddenly you're a clinger?"

Castor merely rolled his eyes and flipped Fred off.

Returning, the gesture, Fred said, "I am not jealous! Or clingy! And it's not because of what happened!"

Adrian flashed him a skeptical gaze. "Bollocks!"

"Boys! Not in front of Lorcan's friends!" Calliope motioned at the imaginary friends with unease.

Fred whined. "But, _Mum_ , Castor's trying to pork the woman I love!"

" _Mum_ -" Castor started to mimic in a high voice, but stopped and stared when he realized what Fred had said. "Love? You _love_ the mortal?"

"Lorky? You love her?" Lila's voice was a squeak. No one except the leprechaun who had been flirting with her looked her way.

"I'm great for a rebound," the leprechaun said.

"Holy fuck," Pollux whispered.

"Ah, hell!" said Adrian. "All that ya said in the dream wasn't just for her benefit? I need a drink. You _are_ a girlie!"

"Oh, yeah. Love. I'm completely shocked," Remy said, his voice deadpan. "I never saw it coming!" He glared at Fred.

Namby Pamby squeaked. "Drop Dead Fred loves the grown-up from the shrink's office?"

Andras started coughing and couldn't seem to stop. Felicia managed to make eye contact with him and shrugged with a 'told-you-so' look on her face. Calliope pounded on her husband's back and then turned to Fred, her face lit with joy.

"My baby's in love?" she shrieked, grabbing Fred's face in her hands. "Oh, Lorcan! Why didn't you tell me? I knew there was a good explanation for your tête-à-tête with her! What is she like? Is she pretty? Is she nice? Does she want children?"

"Because I always inquire if a woman wants children after I fuck her with my hand," Remy said, shaking his head at their mother.

With his face squished between his mother's hands, Fred tried to figure out what had just happened. _Me and my big fucking mouth!_

"Run. Save yourself," Shea whispered as she nudged Gabriel with his elbow.

Gabriel leaned over and kissed her temple. "Fuck, no. This is getting good. Besides, I love you too much to abandon you now."

"You're fucking sentimental, but adorable," Shea said, taking his hand in hers.

"Mum!" Fred managed to say in the mercy of her grasp, "...It's complicated," he said his voice muffled and his eyes wide. "Can ya let go of my face?" he asked. "I can't feel it."

Calliope only squeezed his face harder as she cried and kissed his face. "My baby's in love!"

"Bacchus' balls. Let him breathe, Calliope," Andras said, placing a hand on her shoulder.

Relenting, she turned to her husband. "But our baby's in love and he wants to have sex. We thought this day would never come!"

Remy snorted. "I shouldn't comment, but I really want to."

Fred's glare lost its effect thanks to his utter mortification.

"After three hundred years we all thought he'd never cum," Castor said, his voice deadpan.

Remy cackled with laughter. "It was such a perfect set up! Thank you!" He doubled over, laughing harder.

Pollux punched Castor lightly in the shoulder. "Give him a break. His whole sexual experience is on display for the world to see. You weren't exactly a perfect lover your first time around."

Remy sat up. "That's right! Misfire!" He started laughing even harder. "Lorcan peaked late and you peaked way too early!"

"Thanks, Pollux," Castor grumbled, slouching in his seat. "I fucking hate you."

Pollux only smiled and gave Fred a wink.

"Thanks," said Fred.

"Castor Blaster!" Remy shouted. "That's what we called him!"

Fred snorted and tossed his head back laughing. "Oh my god! That's brilliant!"

"Enjoy it while lasts." Castor glared, shaking his head.

"He might last longer than you," Remy said, grinning. "He might actually penetrate before he goes off!" Remy made pistols with his fingers. "Pew, pew!"

Castor flipped Remy off, which only made Remy grin more.

"Poor Deirdre never saw it coming…" said Adrian, his face red from holding in a laugh. "Because it happened too fast!" He lost it, cackling loud.

Remy laughed even harder, leaning against Adrian for support. Even Pollux had a hard time keeping a straight face and Fred burst out cackling himself. Shea tried muffling her own laughter, but failed. The joke hadn't been that funny, but her family's reaction was contagious. Soon they'd all succumbed, and even some of the leprechauns chuckled along with them.

"They're alright," one of the leprechauns said, wiping his eyes. "They're funny, I'll give 'em that."

"Don't fall for it!" Sheamus grumbled, crossing his arms and glaring at Fred.

"That'd never happen to me, Darlin'," the leprechaun said to Lila. "I'd save all of me for you."

"I don't even know your name," Lila murmured.

"It's Quinn. Remember it, cuz you'll be screaming it later." He winked.

Lila blushed and shook his hand. "Nice to meet you, Quinn. I'm Lila."

Behind Fred, Felicia was smiling, laughing, and completely thrown by this mad house. She had never been around this much of Andras' family before, and to see Fred interacting as if he belonged brought tears to her eyes. She wiped them quickly and felt her cheeks go red when she caught Andras smiling at her.

'T _hank me when it's over_ ,' she said in his mind, this interaction giving her hope. He simply nodded.

Wiping tears from his eyes, Fred realized this was the first time he remembered ever laughing with this many of his brothers and his father. The surreal sense of belonging sobered him back up. Slowly, he caught his breath and watched them in silence. _This is weird… but nice_ , he thought.

"What about Pollux's first time?" Castor said, looking over at his twin.

Pollux shrugged and Remy scoffed.

"His was all perfect and his partner was orgasming hours later." Remy rolled his eyes. "What about Ade's?"

Castor thought a moment. "Was that him who tried to penetrate her navel?"

"I think that was Bastion, or was it Dante?" Remy's forehead wrinkled as he tried to remember.

"That was Dante," Calliope said.

Everyone stared at her.

"Stop staring! I pay attention! I'm your mother!" She rolled her eyes. "These boys."

Adrian shook his head and grinned with a distant look in his eyes. "My first time we overused the lube and she slipped right off the bed and shot through the wall."

Fred choked.

"Oh please. You're such a virgin! Lilin never need that gop! I just wanted to see that lovely shade of prude you turn."

"Bastard," muttered Fred.

"Didn't she knee you in the eye when you tried to give her oral?" Pollux asked, his face a picture of innocence.

"That's true. Found out I was into it, though."

"That doesn't even make any sense!" cried Fred.

"Virgin." Adrian snickered and Fred groaned.

Remy and Castor were still laughing. Pollux looked at Fred and nodded his head toward his brothers. He mouthed Remy's name.

Lifting a brow, Fred stared at Pollux and grinned. "What about Remy?" he asked.

Remy looked at Fred. "It was a grand performance. I made her scream with pleasure." He smiled, crossing his arms over his chest.

"That's not what happened!" Castor said, rolling his eyes.

"Didn't he get tied down and spanked?" Pollux said, rubbing his chin.

"She gagged him, too," Castor said.

"Smart succubus," Shea said, laughing.

"I let her gag me!" Remy pouted. "She was into it. I was into it."

"Your ass was for sore for days!" Castor said. "Raw End Remy."

"Oh, you fucker! Thanks for bringing that up!" Remy reached over and tried to punch Castor from behind Adrian.

Adrian ducked forward and laughed. "Accurate. We're all fornicators. Except Lorcan."

"Not yet, anyway. You heard him. He's going to have sex with his mortal," Castor said, grinning at Fred. "Will it be missionary, or doggy style?"

"Pfft! I'm just trying to get another conversation at this point!" said Fred before catching the interested stare on all their faces. _Dammit. I meant to deny everything._

Crossing his arms, Fred casually cleared his throat. "So… all of you, it sounds like the first time didn't go so well..." In fact, the more he thought about what they'd said, the more he started worrying if he'd even satisfy Lizzie at all, or worse, if she'd laugh at him.

 _What if I poke her in the eye with my knob, or can't figure out how to get it in? Lilin are bigger..._ He paled, horrified by the sequence of scenarios that ran through his mind. Most of them ended with Lizzie shouting at him, or calling him the worst she'd ever been with. Thanks to Adrian, he also had one of Lizzie flying through a wall, landing on another man, and leaving him for good.

"You look like someone asked if they could fuck you from behind," Remy said, one brow raised. "Why so squeamish? Are you worried you'll forget what your man-pole is for?"

"No!" Fred looked appalled. "I just- What if I slip, or something? Or, she doesn't like it? Or I drop her? Or what if she just doesn't like it?"

"Slip?" Remy and Adrian echoed. Andras covered his eyes with his hand.

"It's not fucking pair skating," Castor grumbled.

"She'll like it!" Shea, Calliope, and Pollux insisted.

Giving Castor a glare, Fred chose to look at Shea and his mother instead. "But how do you know? She's done it, she'll know if I screw something up!"

"Lorcan, if you love her and she feels half of that for you, it won't be bad," Gabriel said. Fred's shoulders relaxed and he smiled at him in thanks, but as if on cue, Adrian raised his hand.

"Question," he said, stifling a laugh. "Just where do you think you might drop her?"

"Pool of Jell-O?" Remy suggested.

"Mud wrestling pit?" Castor said, wrinkling his nose.

Fred rolled his eyes. "I don't think either of those will fit in Lizzie's apartment."

"Who said anything about her apartment?" Remy said, rolling his eyes back, too. "How about sex in an elevator?"

"Sex in a movie theater is also a classic," Castor said.

"Sex on the beach, but you gotta watch out for sand," Remy said, wincing at the memory.

Fred blushed at all the suggestions. "Um. She's still cross at me for making her scream at me in the mall. Don't think I'd get her out for sex…"

"Tell her you'll make her scream at the mall for other reasons. Like doing her in a dressing room," Remy said.

Fred went quiet and looked down, trying not to remember how he'd nearly done that already. He tapped his foot, trying to expel some of his arousal. Lizzie had looked so irresistible in that purple dress… and he'd more than liked the scent of her perfume...

"So, that's the strangest place you've had sex? In a dressing room?" Castor asked Remy.

"No!" Remy scoffed. "I gave a woman three orgasms on a roller coaster. Maybe the third was sort of incidental, but I'm claiming it."

"My weirdest was a coffin," Castor said.

Remy looked at Castor out of the corner of eye. "A what?"

"She was into weird shit. We ended up in a mortuary. It just progressed from sex on the desk, to sex in a coffin. I'm not claustrophobic, but I could see how it might freak people out." Castor suddenly appeared to go somewhere else, staring ahead at nothing in particular.

 _Well, that's odd,_ thought Fred. Not much bothered Castor.

"Mine was in the lumber section of a Home Depot," said Adrian with a straight face.

"What?" Remy and Castor said together.

"When we came we both yelled 'timber!'"

Everyone groaned.

"My strangest was in the big, walk-in freezer at one of those bulk buy stores," Shea said. Remy gave her a look, but she shrugged. "I wanted to share my story, too. It was really cold in there. He almost couldn't function."

"Glad that wasn't me," Gabriel said.

"Our boys are so precious," Calliope said, smiling at Andras, while their children all joked with each other.

Andras raised his brow. "I don't know if that's the word I would use." He smiled at her.

"Oh!" cried Remy. "Lorcan, for something _really_ memorable you could record it for posterity! You could also tie her down, use only your tongue on her." He wiggled his eyebrows and grinned.

"Ugh! This world's got enough footage of my escapades, _thank you_ very much! And I'm not tying her up!" _Like she'd let me_ , he added to himself.

"Yep. That confirms it," said Adrian. "His first time it'll be missionary. In the dark. Sheets pulled over their heads. Like… ghosts!" he added, giving Fred a knowing look.

"You-"

"Yes. I saw that stunt you pulled as Casper the Horny Ghost. If you were gonna do that, you shoulda been naked. Now that's a surprise."

"She'd probably prefer something less kinky," Pollux suggested, changing the subject. "I suggest some candle light."

Fred looked at each of his brothers in turn, feeling like he were in a strange dream. Not only were they sorta being nice to him, but they were offering him helpful advice about Lizzie. At least they tried. _What the hell's happening?_

Shea turned around. "She's the cutest thing! Lizzie wears pink, fuzzy socks and sweats!" She looked over at Fred. "And, you need to start slow and work your way up to sex. Make sure she gets a chance on top. Women like to feel powerful."

All the brothers nodded.

Meanwhile, Fred kept opening his mouth to speak, but each piece of advice made him feel pulled in every direction. Between the strangeness of their conversation, the fantasies their suggestions gave him, and his mother's encouraging grin, he didn't have the words. Until Shea mentioned Lizzie's socks.

"Hey, how d'you know she owns those? She wasn't wearing 'em in the memory I showed you- Oh hell!" He leaned closer and whispered, "What did you do, Shea?"

Shea blinked slowly at him. "Me? I didn't do anything!" Her tone rang with mock innocence. Behind her Remy smothered a laugh. "I can't wait to meet her, though." She smiled at Fred.

"Why?" he asked, suspicion coloring his tone.

Shea's smile grew wider. "I'm your big sister. I'm meeting her."

"What about the whole lilin not showing themselves to mortals thing? Can't have my big sister on trial next." He smiled back, hopefully.

"Your very busy mouth took care of that. She knows about us. Worse case, they wipe her memory." Shea shrugged.

"They wouldn't do that!" he cried, paling. He turned to his mother. "Would they do that?" His brothers fidgeted in their seats, while Shea looked at him with pity.

Calliope sighed. "Lorcan, darling, lilin have rules to protect our people and to protect mortals. Our powers are very strong and sometimes they're too much for mortals. If it needed to be done, they'd wipe her mind." Calliope looked at her son, sadness in her eyes. "I'm sure it won't come to that. You love her. It'll work out." She touched his cheek. "Don't worry."

Fred went quiet, unable to bear even imagining what losing Lizzie that way would feel like. Especially when he still felt her with him now. He turned his gaze toward his father, silently wishing he would say something here. His mother was an optimist, his father less so. If his father saw hope, then he knew there was a chance. Taking a deep breath, he spoke the first words to him in almost two centuries. "Dad? Tell me what you think?"

Andras' jaw twitched. "I can't tell you what the council will decide. If they think it's in her best interest to forget… they'll do it." He locked eyes with his youngest son. "So, you better show those fuckers you're in her best interest."

Fred nodded, slowly, shocked by his father's approval. He was okay with him loving a mortal? Fred smiled. "I can easily do that. I'm the only person that's ever given a damn about her. I'd do anything for her." His heart pounded after admitting this to his father, but he managed to hold his eye contact.

"I'd start with an apology. Can't hurt to kiss some ass," Remy said.

Andras nodded. "Do what you can to make things right with the council. As for them," he glared at the leprechauns. "Make nice and get them all out of our hair."

"Right… And hopefully they'll take Lila, too," Fred whispered, glancing over his shoulder at the leprechauns.

"I think Lila wouldn't mind," Shea murmured, nodding at her and Quinn's relentless flirting session.

Fred groaned and turned back to his mother. "I can still feel you staring at me, you know? So, yes, Lizzie's nice, and she's pretty." He wrinkled his nose at admitting that in front of everyone, but he knew if he didn't answer his mother she might lose her mind and pinch his face off. Fred scowled and reluctantly mumbled, "And I don't know if she wants kids."

"As long as she makes you happy, but I'm so glad she's pretty! Think of the beautiful babies you'll make! I can't wait to meet her!" Calliope clapped her hands together. "We have so much to talk about! I have so much to plan!"

Fred couldn't breathe and his mouth dropped open. _Make babies?! Did she really just..._ He looked at Shea. "What's she mean? Plan what?"

Shea held up her hands. "I'm not getting involved!"

Calliope tsked at her daughter. "But she needs to meet the family!"

Andras reached over and hugged his wife to his side. "Calliope, you're getting a little ahead of things with the _mortal_." He emphasized the last word as a hint.

"But it's our baby's first girlfriend!"

Remy snickered. "A girlfriend that doesn't need blowing up."

"That hand of his is gonna get jealous of all the attention over the new woman," said Adrian.

"Will you both just stop accusing me of masturbating already?!" Fred cried. Behind him, he heard the imaginary friends all gasp. "Because I don't!" he added, quickly and cringed. The looks on his friends' faces told him even they didn't believe him and Namby Pamby shook her head at him in disappointment. _This is the worst._

"Accuse?!" Adrian laughed and couldn't stop.

Shea sighed. "We've all seen it. Might as well not deny and look like a prude." She grinned. "Maybe Lizzie will give you a hand with that now."

"She gave him two tonight already. Good thing you wasn't in the woods," said Adrian. "She would have started a forest fire."

Remy pointed at Fred. "Only you can prevent forest fires!"

Namby Pamby's giggle returned, but she covered her mouth as soon as Fred looked at her. Her face was red and her eyes apologetic as a snort sounded from her.

"Ugh!" Fred grabbed at his hair, mortified. _I want to disappear._

"And you made sounds like that, too," Adrian quipped.

"I hate you," Fred muttered. "So much."

Adrian tsked. "Might wanna change your tune, Baby Brother. After the gift I've given you..."

"What gift? My reflection in that bald, bulbous head of yours?"

Adrian smirked and it only made Fred angrier. "I've got something special to tell ya later, is all."

"What could you possibly- Ugh, never mind," he said, turning back around as he heard his brother chuckle. Knowing Adrian it was probably a trap. "Bastard," he said under his breath.

"Virgin," said Adrian, causing Fred to bristle as the council reappeared not a moment too soon.

Lila sighed in relief and Felicia hid her smile. Fred's family was certainly something to behold.

The room quieted down and Fred returned to his place in the center of the room near Felicia. The councils' serious expressions reminded him they'd been gone a long time, and suddenly he didn't know whether that was a good or bad thing for him and Lizzie… A knot the size of his fist felt like it rolled inside of his stomach. _Please don't make her forget me._

Having collected himself, Valerian sat again in his seat, watching Fred with uncertainty. "We will resume. Lorcan, this is an unheard of circumstance," he said, slowly. "I'm afraid we'll need to look into what you claim took place between you and the Fates. It's beyond me why the Fates would tell you something like this. They're not known for practical jokes…" He shook his head, lost in thought, until he noticed the leprechauns glaring at him. "Let's move forward for now. Lorcan, why did you choose to repress your nature?"

Fred laughed nervously and held up a finger. "I think I'd like my lawyer to answer that," he said, turning to Felicia, whose brows rose at him. He hoped she'd realize why he wanted her to speak for him. If the council heard him outright declare he'd wanted to be human instead of lilin, they'd lock him away for good. _Please put a better spin on it,_ he pleaded.

Nodding at Fred, Felicia stepped forward and cleared her throat. "I realize that Lorcan is a special case and has been a particular issue for this council. While his reluctance to complete his training and consummate the act that would make him a fully fledged incubus has been trying for all involved, the council must see that he is willing to take those steps. As to why Lorcan tried to deny his nature, well…" She cleared her throat again. How was she going to explain this without vilifying Fred?

"We are a people that enjoys sex," she slowly began. "We all have our preferences, and not all of us enjoy the same things. We're unique. Lorcan is that way as well. He just chose to live a little differently and wanted to have sex with the person who matters most to him. This isn't something new to us. We have those who choose to commit to a partner and those who choose many partners. Lorcan just wants a simple existence. He just happened to realize what he wanted later than others." She took a deep breath. _Good so far._

"We exist with the mortal realm. It's a symbiotic relationship," she continued. "We're taught about them so we can help them, interact with them. Lorcan just happened to find a kinship with them. He wanted to be like mortals and not have sex with many people. Human beings don't find this strange and while I know it is pushing the bounds for a lilin, I ask that you to please not hold his views against him."

The council sat in silence, deep in thought. Sirius glared as always, as Padma ignored the blight that was Lorcan. Dahlia smiled ever-so-slightly like she held a secret, while the third succubus, who sat on the end of the row, openly grinned at Fred. She looked like the youngest lilin in the room, but Fred remembered her appearance was deceptive. Carys was actually much older.

"That's a very compelling argument, Felicia," Dahlia said at last. "We shall consider it when we make our judgment." She looked at Fred. "We have made an appeal to the Fates to come before us and give us their account of your story. While we wait, I would like to ask a question of Remy."

Remy almost jumped out of his seat. "Y-yes?"

Dahlia bit back her smile as she spied him trying not to fidget. "Can you explain what occurred when you and Lorcan were with the Fates?"

"Oh, um, certainly," he said, his voice shaking. "I had gone to see the Fates, because we're, uh, friends. Yeah. Chloe and I go way back." He offered a weak grin. "Anyway, Lorcan was supposed to be getting ready for his ceremony, and he was nervous. I thought maybe if the Fates could tell him that it would go alright he wouldn't worry about it so much." He took a deep breath. "So we went, we chatted, and then we left." He offered a hopeful grin.

"Did you hear what the Fates discussed with Lorcan?" Dahlia asked.

"Uh, no. I didn't," he said, wincing.

"Why is that?" Dahlia leaned forward.

"I happened to be discussing something with Chloe quite intently," he said.

"I see," Dahlia said, one brow raising. "I can imagine what that might entail."

Remy flushed. "Uh, yes. I'm sorry I couldn't be more helpful."

Dahlia looked over at Valerian. "Would you like to continue with the issue about recompensing our guests?"

Valerian nodded. "If it must be done," he said. "Lorcan, your actions in Ireland had many repercussions. Our guests claim they experienced a year of spoiled crops, soured luck, and Sheamus produced blackened rainbows for an unspecified amount of time after the theft of the suit…"

"Blackened rainbows? Over trousers?" Fred exclaimed. "Is he sure he just wasn't leaving skid marks?" Behind him, Fred heard Adrian bark with laughter at the same time as the imaginary friends.

Valerian raised a brow. "These are the claims, yes. Please don't interrupt."

Crossing his arms, Fred huffed and pulled a face at the leprechauns.

"Where is the suit now, Lorcan?" asked Valerian.

Fred's attention snapped back to Valerian. "Right now?" he asked, brow furrowing.

Valerian sighed and rubbed his temples. "I forgot how literal you can be."

"I don't have it."

"Lorcan, the question was 'where is it?'" Valerian restated.

Turning around, Fred pointed at his sister. "It met with an unfortunate end. By an assassin."

Sheamus gasped. "You're the dirty assassin that ruined my beautiful suit! You vulgar, perverted-"

"Shut your pie hole, Tiny Tim!" Shea yelled, jumping to her feet.

Everyone else in the room gasped.

Eyes wide and nostrils flaring, she held her ground and glared at Sheamus. "I'm sorry about your suit, but you don't get to call my idiot brother names!"

Sheamus' mouth opened and closed and Quinn pulled him back down into his seat.

"I'm sorry for my outburst," Shea said to the council, "but I stand by what I said." She took a deep breath. "I'm the one who destroyed the suit. I wanted Lorcan to be himself again and I pushed him to use his powers after he was, um, hopped up on lust. His magic made the suit… disappear."

The council all stared at Shea. Dahlia appeared to be fighting a smile. Beside her, Sirius curled his lips in disgust and Padma rolled her eyes. Carys and the mustached incubus both grinned.

"So, we don't have it," Shea said, clenching her fists.

"One overdose on lust and that suit is toast?" Remy murmured. "I would have bet my left nut that would never had happened."

"That's because no one ever thought he'd be using his dick or his nuts," Castor said.

"I'm surprised dust didn't poof out like a big cloud when he came," said Adrian. He squinted, deep in thought as he pictured the awful image. "Honestly, I'm kinda disappointed it didn't."

"Ade!" Fred cried. "That's not the first time I ever ca- Can't, can't remember what I was gonna say..." Wide eyed, he stared at the floor and cursed his fat mouth, while trying not to notice his parents out of the corner of his eyes.

"Oh? Bet you could flog your memory if you tried hard enough," said Adrian, grinning.

Red-faced, Fred glared and mouthed 'I hate you' at his brother.

"And you're very welcome, too." Adrian winked.

"I'm not thanking you!"

"Oh, yes you will," he answered in a singsong.

Fred rolled his eyes. "I don't know what you're proud about, but piss off!"

"Unbelievable…" said Valerian. "I don't know what to expect next with you or your family, Lorcan." Leaning forward, Valerian eyed both Shea and Fred. "But this council thanks Scheherazade for doing what we could not: finding a way to remove the suit from Lorcan." He bowed his head in turn with the rest of the council.

Shea blinked. "Oh, uh, you're welcome. I'll just sit down and stay quiet."

"Before you do, Scheherazade, would you be willing to offer the leprechauns a formal apology for the suit's destruction?"

She stared at Valerian. "Um, yes?"

Valerian nodded at her.

Clearing her throat, Shea cleared faced the leprechauns. "I would like to offer you my sincere apology for the destruction of your suit." She coughed. "I hope you will accept my apology as I sincerely regret damaging your property." Offering a smile, she looked back at Valerian.

"I'd kinda like one from her, too," mumbled Fred.

Shea glared at his back. "Not in this or any lifetime." Fred turned around and stuck his tongue out at her and she immediately stuck hers out back before sitting down.

Valerian briefly covered his mouth to hide a smile. "Sheamus, do you and your people accept Scheherazade's apology?"

"I- I, well- It would be inhospitable to refuse," he said, scratching his beard. "I accept."

"Well, that's cleared up then!" said Fred, rubbing his hands together with a grin. "This was fun! Let's all go home!"

Valerian gave him a look. "We are not done, especially with you," he warned.

"Valerian," said Felicia with earnest, "I'd like it known that Lorcan would have returned said suit had it not unexpectedly met its end." She winced.

"You expect me to believe that he would have willingly returned it upon request?" Valerian lifted an eyebrow, the action enough for Felicia not to respond. He turned back to the leprechauns. "Sheamus, are you satisfied and ready to settle this matter, pending we retain Lorcan's ban from Ireland as well as the mortal realm on St. Patrick's Day?"

Sheamus' jaw worked back and forth as he stared, arms crossed. "I am."

"Good. Then we may finally close this matter regarding the infamous suit, and-"

"Wait a minute!" Sheamus yelled. "He stole my infamous suit! What about that? He can't just snatch a fellow's magical suit and walk away, naked as can be!"

Clenching his fists, Fred answered, "It was a fair trade!" He crossed his arms. "And, um, hello! Walkin' away nude isn't winning! That's why I took the clothes in the first place, Wee Giblet!"

"Fair trade?" Sheamus squeaked out. "My suit for four measly kegs? You were supposed to try it out and give it back! No one said you could walk off with it for three hundred years!"

"Aha! But you took the kegs! You did!" cried Fred, hopping and pointing at Sheamus.

"Hold it," said Valerian. "He took the gifts you offered in trade?"

"Yep. Guzzled 'em all up! He and his men got totally smashed! They started betting on which of them had the most chest hair." Fred shuddered. "It was really gross. Can you blame me for running away from _that_?"

Valerian frowned and shared a look with the other council members. "I don't think you want any more blame added to you this night."

"It was kegs for trying the suit!" Sheamus stomped his foot. "I never said he could keep it, and you damn well know it, Idjit!" He scowled at Fred.

"Nuh uh! It was _for_ the suit, Stupid! For keeps!" Fred curled his upper lip and tapped his foot.

"I never gave you permission to take it! We all thought it was a fool's errand anyway! Trying to stop being what you are." Sheamus grumbled. "Stupidest thing I ever heard."

Fred opened his mouth and raised a finger at Sheamus, but he quickly recoiled and bit his fist. _It's not stupid, you twat._ _I just wanna be human, not become the bloody Queen._ Biting harder, he forced back the words that practically burned his tongue, but the lingering presence of Lizzie helped him hold on. If he said them, he'd lose his last chance, and yet it didn't make the urge to scream at Sheamus much less tempting.

"Ugh!" He dropped his hand. _Bloody leprechaun's making me bite myself now!_ "Can't I dream? Anyways, you did give it to me. You said if it worked it was mine, and it did, so I kept it! Ya can't be all mouth and no trousers. If you're still this upset, how 'bout I throw in Lila and we call it even?" He smiled and nodded at his astonished offering.

"I wouldn't have traded it for four kegs if I thought it woulda worked!" Sheamus shouted, jumping up and down. "Now my suit is ruined through your sex magic!"

"Sheamus! Calm down! If the suit disappeared then your magic should be back in the rainbow." The leprechaun tugged on Sheamus' sleeve. "We can go home and you can make a stronger suit."

Growling, Sheamus shook off his kinsman. "That's not the point!"

"Aw, for the love of Éire, let it go!" cried Quinn.

"Oh my god!" Turning around, Fred cast an incredulous glare at Shea. "I made a rainbow because you killed my suit?! That's the girliest thing I've ever heard of! Am I even awake? Is this night even happening?" He looked around him, twitching as Adrian cackled, and held his arm out to Felicia. "Pinch me. I can't take it anymore."

"I'm not pinching you," Felicia said, holding her hands up. "I think this is called karma." She grinned.

"Do your brother one favor and he cries about it forever," Shea muttered.

"At least rainbows didn't come outta your dick!" cried Adrian, slapping his knee.

Flinging his arms up, Fred waved at his brother. "Why are you here?!"

"It didn't make a rainbow," Quinn started to explain. "Eh, never mind." He turned back to Lila. "So, will it be your place or mine?"

Lila's cheeks turned pink. "I'll visit."

The oldest leprechaun in the group stood and looked at the council. "If it's all the same to you, Your Honors. We'll go and consider this matter settled."

Valerian scratched his head. "I suppose this sorted itself. The property is technically returned..." He cleared his throat. "Very well. We'll consider the magic suit ordeal settled." His attentions turned on Fred and Valerian suddenly looked tired. "Finally."

Fred ignored him and turned to Sheamus instead. "So long. Don't come back." Mimicking devil horns with his fingers, he gnashed his teeth at him.

"Enjoy your dancing while you can," said Sheamus. "I'll be adding to the Tale of the Ginger Demon. The _virginal_ and _naked_ Ginger Demon. The lads'll be laughing their arses off! It'll become a pub song!" Flipping Fred off, Sheamus chuckled and began humming.

"What?! Oh, you little-"

Clearing his throat, Valerian quickly added, "Sheamus, one of our succubi guards will escort you and your friends back to the portal so you may return home. The council thanks you for your time, patience…" He stressed the word as he glanced at Fred. "...and for your cooperation. We're glad some resolution could finally be made. Farewell."

The older leprechaun bowed his head. "Thank you for your hospitality. We'll go without further incident." He looked pointedly at Sheamus, who only shrugged.

An auburn-haired succubus lead the leprechauns from the room, the doors shutting behind them.

"Now that the matter with the leprechauns has been settled, the imaginary friend council shall also conclude their dealings with Lorcan," said Dahlia. "Fartacus, please tell Lorcan what you have come to say."

"Hmm?" The imaginary friend jumped. "Oh, right…"

The faux-Roman watched Fred with sympathy, a look that Fred didn't like at all. Namby Pamby, Herman, and Graggy also avoided his gaze and it left a sinking feeling inside him. "Bugger me," he said under his breath.

"Drop Dead Fred," Fartacus began, "you've been an amazing imaginary friend. Maybe more unpredictable than most, but still a good one. Since day one you always challenged me in our farting contests, and-"

Namby Pamby cut him off by placing her hand over Fartacus' shoulder and he nodded at her.

"Sorry. I was getting off track… This isn't a choice I want to make Fr-" He paused and sharply inhaled. "Lorcan... the imaginary friend council has unanimously decided to revoke your position as an imaginary friend. We-"

"You've _got_ to be kidding!"

"Fred!" Namby Pamby hissed, shaking her head at him with worry. "Please don't."

"So you're still calling me Fred?" Namby Pamby's crestfallen expression stung him with guilt and he winced. "...Thanks."

"We have no choice in letting you go," said Fartacus. "You joined us under strict rules and… that suit, for all its trouble, sounds like the only thing that kept you, kept you like us. Enough to do your job."

"That's absurd! I can still have fun and help kids! I'm still me; I'm still Drop Dead Fred! I can do anything! I'm not some monster because I lost a magic suit!"

"Isn't that your argument as to why you needed that suit?"

Turning around, Fred glared at his very unhelpful brother. "Shut up, Ade." Adrian shrugged.

"Lorcan, I'm going to have to revoke your abilities that we gave you when you joined us," continued Fartacus.

"But you can't! I've got a charge! You can't do this!" He took a step back, shaking and pacing as he pointed at him. "You've said yourself I do a great job. You can't take me away from another kid like this. You did this with Lizzie and look how she turned out- I mean before I helped her again."

"Don't you mean before you helped yourself to her?" quipped Adrian. The loud groan from Fred made him snicker.

Keeping a serious face, Fartacus shook his head. "I'm sorry. I know a lot of the council was unfair to you around that time, to Elizabeth especially, but as we said, you're unpredictable. I did try to vouch for you, but it was out of my hands then."

"So, now you're just gonna do it again? Tear me away like I never happened?"

"Fred, you're not going to be an imaginary friend anymore. Jessica Fleegman won't be your responsibility anymore! You've left her already yourself!"

Fred's face flashed with pain and he froze. Not only had he left her twice for Lizzie, but he just realized he hadn't thought about her one bit since he'd left. _What kind of imaginary friend am I? Who am I? I never leave the kids._

"Don't worry, we'll replace you. We won't make the same mistakes we did with Elizabeth," said Fartacus, gently. "I promise Jessica will get the best we have-"

"I wanna goodbye."

"What?" all the imaginary friends chimed in unison.

"I want a goodbye with Jessica before I leave. I'm not just leaving her without any explanation." Nervously, he tapped his fingers against his thighs and held his breath. He swore the room felt smaller, or maybe it was the universe, because they were going to take such a huge part of himself away. First the suit, now his job as an imaginary friend; was Lizzie next? Could he do right by anyone before they locked him away in a box? Fred was surprised he heard Fartacus speak again at all over the sound of his own wild heartbeat.

"Alright. I believe we owe you and Jessica that. No need repeating past mistakes on a new child." He smiled wearily at Fred. "You are allowed one final visit to Jessica, then we'll remove your imaginary friend powers... And it's probably in your best interest that both a lilin and an imaginary friend accompany you for this final meeting. If the lilin council will agree?"

Dahlia nodded. "It will be allowed as this is for the well-being of a mortal child." Her tone suggested she would not be argued with. "We will send a succubus to accompany him to the mortal realm. When the trial is over, Lorcan can say his goodbyes."

"Can my sister be the succubus, please?" asked Fred, his tone quiet and somber.

"Absolutely not!" Padma said, glaring at Fred. "She cannot be allowed near children!"

Shea glared. "I know I'm not exactly maternal, but it's not like I'm Joan Crawford!"

"Padma, she would just be there to make sure nothing untoward happened. It is just a short visit so he may say goodbye to the girl. Scheherazade is responsible enough to make sure the visit will occur without incident." Dahlia raised her brows and looked directly at Shea.

Shea nodded. "I give my word that I will make sure that Lorcan's visit will be incident free."

"Fine. Just make sure Lorcan is brought back for whatever punishment he is dealt," Padma said, irritation in her voice.

"Please, Padma. We have yet to determine that," Dahlia said.

"Let us move on then," Padma ordered with a wave of her hand.

"Very well. We will arrange for the visit," said Fartacus, bowing his head.

 _I can't believe this is happening_ , thought Fred, running his hands over his face. He wanted to scream, but at the same time he felt it wouldn't be enough. "Thanks," he said, unable to tear his gaze from the floor. Strange the ground felt so solid when his world crumbled beneath his feet. Losing his ability to hold himself together, Fred found himself turning toward his mother. He didn't speak, but watched her, feeling broken and confused. He'd failed another child and now he dreaded what might come next.

"I'm sorry, Darling." She looked from her son to her husband.

"It's time to let it go, Lorcan," Andras said, his normally loud voice soft and gentle.

Fred nodded, slowly, not wanting to turn back to the council. When he did, he looked only at Dahlia because what he had to say would have come out as a 'Piss off!' if he acknowledged Padma. "Thanks," he said, hanging his head. "I promise no more incidents."

Dahlia smiled. "I know. I believe you won't disappoint us." There was the slightest emphasis on the last word.

Fred gulped and drew an 'x' over his chest with his finger. "Well, I've got nowhere to go but up. So, cross my heart," he said and returned her smile.

Clearing his throat, Fartacus said, "Pardon me, but since our business here's concluded, we should get on our way. Fred… good luck." He passed him a worried glance and smiled. "We're gonna miss having you around." Fartacus stood, along with Graggy and Go to Hell Herman, but Namby Pamby remained in her chair. She stared at Fred, her mouth open as if she wanted to say something, but instead she joined her friends and headed for the doors.

"Goodbye," Fred whispered, waving and wondering if he'd ever see any of them again.

"Well, now that our business with our guests has concluded, everyone may disrobe and we can get into Lorcan's offenses with the mortal woman," said Valerian. "Algernon?"

The incubus who had arrived late, flashed Valerian a roguish grin. "I thought you'd never notice me." His magic swirled around him then faded away, taking his covering with it. He leaned forward, stroking one end of his black mustache, his fingers playing with the end of it.

 _He's not about to tie me to the railway tracks, is he?_ thought Fred. Although, he almost felt it would be more painless...

Around the room, clouds of black swirled as lilin removed their clothes, and to Fred's dismay, the guards removed his as well.

"Ah, come on!" he whined. "I was usin' that! No takesies backsies!"

"Lorcan, Lorcan," Algernon murmured, drawing his attention. "I must say, your exploits have been absolutely a delight to watch." He laughed. "I haven't been this entertained in millennia. I'm glad you've found someone that you wish to know intimately." His eyebrows rose and his eyes glowed with amusement. "She's a stunning woman. I don't know who I'm more jealous of. Her, or you?"

"Algernon!" Padma growled in warning.

He waved her off. "Please, you've had your moment to froth at the mouth. It's my turn." He rested his forearms on the surface in front of him and grinned at Lorcan. "You must forgive Padma. She's been in a bad mood since… well, I think she's always been in a bad mood." His laughter echoed in the quiet room, mixing with Carys' musical giggles. The two were quite the pair, Carys resembling a petite snow fairy, and Algernon a dashing and swarthy swashbuckler. Padma growled low in her throat and glared at them.

 _This incubus might be my hero_ , thought Fred, stunned that someone else finally had the guts to tell Padma where to stick it, and didn't despise him.

"What was I saying again?" Algernon paused. "Ah, yes. As much as we have all, well, mostly all," he said, smiling as he gave a nod toward Padma. "As much as we have enjoyed your foray into sex, Lorcan, you have broken a few rules. And by a few I believe you have broken every single one we have. I could be wrong. If I'm honest, I skimmed." He winked. "Administration details are not my forte. Be that as it may, we need to discuss your many, many flagrant violations of our laws." Algernon cleared his throat.

 _Ugh. Fun's over._ Fred frowned.

"You have presented this council with a unique set of problems. We have never had a lilin refuse his sexual rites and become an imaginary friend. New rules were established to cover this unprecedented occurrence. I believe you broke all of them." He looked like he fought a grin and tilted his face downward. When he looked back up, his expression was serious.

"You have lusted after and fed off a charge as an imaginary friend. I believe this, and abandoning your, uh, former-current charge, was what terminated your position. I am sorry it had to come to that. While I, myself, am all for freedom of expression and loving whomever you wish, we do have our laws to protect mortals and our society. This leads me to the other laws you have broken."

Fred winced. _I'm a right sexual deviant._ "Are you sure you just don't have too many laws?"

Algernon sighed and straightened his shoulders. "These include failing to report to your assigned supervisor for feeding, feeding off an unauthorized mortal, committing sex acts with a mortal, using your powers as a lilin without authorization, bringing an unauthorized being into Lullabi, telling a mortal about Lullabi and our existence, and I believe that is the majority. Oh, and we certainly mustn't forget causing a delicious orgy in a motel… Bravo, by the way." He winked and waved his hands. "Anyway, honestly, slogging through our laws is a punishment, but it comes with the job." Algernon stroked his mustache as he looked at Fred.

"You have caused quite the uproar. I think your name is all that has been on everyone's lips. Ah, to be so popular." Algernon grinned. "Unfortunately for you, everyone is not moaning your name is ecstasy. It's a tragedy, really. Lorcan just rolls off the tongue." Fred blanched and at the strangled sound from Padma, Algernon rolled his eyes. "Yes, back to business." He pulled a face. "All work and no play make us so dull."

Carys, coughed delicately and Algernon flashed her a charming smile.

"Carys is, of course, reminding me to stay on topic. She's such a remarkable succubus. Unlike some I know."

"Algernon," Dahlia chided.

"Yes, yes. I didn't interrupt you!" He huffed. "Honestly. No one appreciates me."

Carys' giggle made him pause and smile over at her. "I take it back. Carys appreciates everyone. I'll behave only because you're my favorite." He turned back to Fred. "The long and the short of it is, you have broken our laws. This is fact. The matter at hand is your punishment. Some-" He paused dramatically and flicked his eyes toward his right. "...want you to stay in Lullabi and never set foot in the mortal realm again. I view that as rather extreme. Some of us more reasonable beings think a compromise is in order."

"He is a threat," Sirius said, glaring at Fred.

"Tut. Tut." Algernon waved a finger at the irate incubus. "Daddy is talking. Wait your turn."

"Enough of your grandstanding!" Sirius growled.

Algernon raised one shoulder. "Me? Grandstand? I would never." He bit back a smile. "I am merely offering my perspective, as is my right. You can't dictate how we speak, Sirius."

Sirius mumbled under his breath.

"So, Lorcan," Algernon said, still smiling. "What shall we do with you?"

"Um…" Fred's mind was a tornado after hearing all of his charges, so he went with what made him most comfortable. Flashing an awkward smile, he shrugged and said, "Thank me for giving you lot something new to deliberate after all these years and call it a day?" The cold stares and throat clearings from the council told him his jest went unappreciated. Padma glared so harshly her entire face puckered and Fred thought it might implode. _No getting around this one._

Slouching, he rolled his eyes, but went quiet. He wasn't sure what to say about all he'd done, other than request Lizzie never find out he'd caused the world's worst orgy. He scuffed his foot on the ground, biding his time. "Um," he muttered, knowing these might be his final moments of freedom before the council sentenced him, asked for his final words, and tossed him in a tiny box. He hoped they'd at least let Lizzie remember him...

"Okay. So, I know I broke, well, everything really," he said, tapping his fingertips together. "And created a mess. Several of 'em. It's complicated. Er, sorta. I guess? Not something I did on purpose, I mean- or will do again! I…" He took a deep breath. Why did he have trouble speaking now? He was never short on things to say and this situation frustrated him to no end. "Okay. Here goes. I'd very much like to still go to the mortal realm. I have to. I-"

"You break all our rules and still want us to let you go back?" Sirius frowned. "You created this mess and we're supposed to let you return so you can finish what you started?" He slammed his hands down on the table, making Fred jump. "Clearly he's learned nothing! He should be barred from the mortal realm permanently!"

"No!" cried Fred. "That's not-"

"Revoking that right is so extreme," Dahlia said. "It has only been done as a last resort. Yes, Lorcan is unorthodox and he has yet to complete his rite, but to bar him forever is completely unnecessary." She looked at Fred. "You wish to fix this situation?"

Fred nodded, desperately. "Yes! I do. Of course I do! I, I feel terrible about what happened because I'm… I'm sssorry," he said, his breath shaking as he struggled to get the words out. Fred squeezed his hands. Saying that had been one of the hardest things he'd ever done. "Please, there's gotta be some way to work this out. You can't keep me here." He felt his body shaking at the possibility, almost physically sick at the idea of being severed from Lizzie. "Please, don't take her away from me!"

"It is too little, too late!" Padma sneered. "You have flaunted your aversion to our ways in our faces for centuries, and now, when you will be punished as you deserve, you come with your apologies? Save them!"

"You're just a hateful, old witch!" Fred spat. "It doesn't matter what I say. You just wanna stick me in a box! You haven't changed one bit."

"Neither have you! You're the same smart-mouthed incubus with no regard for his own kind!" Padma stood. "You will not go back to the mortal realm if I have any say in the matter!"

Algernon leaned forward, resting his chin in the palm of his hand as he smiled at Padma. "My dear Padma. You really need to calm down. All this hostility may actually cause you to age." The faint buzz of his powers flowed out and enveloped Padma. The angry look on her face slowly faded, and she sat down with a dreamy smile. "Much better," he said as Fred watched in surprise.

"Thank you, Algernon," said Dahlia. "You may want to leave as soon as this is all over before that wears off."

Algernon waved a hand. "She's all bark and no bite." He grinned. "I would be delighted to find out if it is actually true, though."

"Later, please," Dahlia said, hiding her smile. "Lorcan, Padma was only slightly correct. You cannot go back to the mortal realm as you are."

Fred scoffed. "Of course not! I can't go back nude." He rolled his eyes and Dahlia sighed.

"And here I was hoping you had changed," she said.

"He is still a virgin, and a menace." Sirius grumbled.

"Lorcan, you need to complete your rite." Dahlia waited, her gaze on Fred's face.

"Yeah, I knew you were gonna say that," he muttered, deflating and going quiet again. Watching Dahlia he knew what he had to ask. His chances were slim, but they were all he had if he wanted his wish. Anxiety etched into his expression and seeped into his chest, making his heart pound. His jaw tightened and his fists clenched. _Here goes._

Holding his head high, Fred straightened and crossed his arms. "But I have something to say."

"Before he begs off losing his virginity, again, may I suggest some ladies who would be more than happy to rectify his situation?" Remy called.

"Piss off, Raw End Remy!" Fred quickly said over his shoulder. Adrian snickered.

"Virgin says, 'what?'" Remy said in a lower voice.

"What?" Fred squinted at him in annoyance and Remy snorted.

"My brothers are idiots." Shea slapped her forehead.

"Yeah." Fred nodded at his sister. "I- Hey!" He glared.

"Thanks for lumping me in with them," Pollux muttered.

"Lorcan, you wished to say something?" Dahlia said, bringing them all back to the topic at hand.

Tensing, Fred turned back to the succubus and took a deep breath. "Yeah. I'll go through with the rite. I understand I have to, but I want it to be with Lizzie," he said, crossing his arms again and taking a deep breath. "I love her... That's why I did what I did."

"I'm sorry, what?" Dahlia stared in shock.

"You want to have sex with the mortal?" Sirius sputtered.

"I did not see that coming," Remy said.

"We're still waiting for Lorcan to make anyone cum," added Castor.

"He has to find the train station first," chimed in Adrian.

"I'm- I'm sorry," Dahlia stammered at Fred. "Are you asking the council to let you have sex for the first time with the mortal woman who was once your charge?" Her brows furrowed as Fred nodded back at her.

"Ooh, how delightfully scandalous," Algernon said, grinning.

"It's what I do, apparently," he answered him. "But if she feels the same way I do, yeah sure, I'll go through with it." Fred took in the rest of the council's disbelieving expressions, then smiled, and shrugged. "I'm in love. Surprise?" He might feel like a wreck, but he wouldn't show it.

The council went silent. Dahlia squinted again, as if unsure of what she'd just heard, Sirius' right eye twitched, and Padma and Valerian sat frozen in place.

Bemused, Algernon nudged Valerian. "I win!" he whispered, igniting the musical laughter of Carys from the end of the table.

Leaning forward, her eyes shone. "So, Lorcan, you have changed after all."

Fred felt his cheeks warm. _I was right. This is awful. I hate being home_ , he thought, but smiled at Carys. "Thank Lizzie, I guess."

"We'll send her a fruit basket. Mortals love those," Algernon said, grinning.

"I don't think that will be necessary," Dahlia murmured. She looked from Algernon to Fred. "Lorcan, you cannot complete your rite with a mortal. It is completely out of the question."

"But why? Lizzie's not _just_ a mortal to me," he said, annoyance tinging his voice about the way they kept referring to her. "I choose her. Everyone else picks someone for their rite. I can't help if I fell for a human. I won't hurt her-"

"He's probably lying about being in love with her. He knows it's what we'd want to hear," Sirius said, glaring at Fred.

Fred rolled his eyes. "Oh yes, because my go to's gonna be to spout about feelings and love and sappiness to save my skin. Have you met me at all? I should be convulsing right now!"

Sirius leaned forward. "I think you would say whatever you have to so we don't lock you in a room and forget you ever existed."

"I think you'd miss me. That constipated face of yours would go to waste." Fred sneered.

"Clearly, he has not changed." Sirius sighed and looked over at Carys. "Enough excuses. Just ban him from the mortal realm so we may go back to our duties. We have wasted too much time on this miserable excuse of a lilin."

"No, wait!" Fred's heart raced. "I'll prove it! Just give me a chance!" He watched them, holding his breath.

"You have become a different incubus since you were last before us, Lorcan," said Dahlia. "A miracle to be sure. One might think you are ready to accept your place in lilin society." She folded her hands. "But your insistence on being with a mortal is an indication that you are not. No matter how you view her, she is a mortal and you aren't. You cannot have sex with her as you are. Have you forgotten why you are here? You forget yourself around her and that is dangerous in your current state. Understand it is for the greater good. Ours, yours, and hers."

 _Greater good?_ Fred struggled not to roll his eyes at this pious group of sex demons. "Did it ever occur to you lot that maybe I don't just wanna have sex with her?" He paused, realizing if he didn't say this just right he risked everything he wanted. "I want more with Lizzie…" he confessed, his voice and gaze softening. "A lot more. Something real. For the rest of her life if she'll have me. I can't- I won't just have it off with some succubus first." He made a disgusted face. "Lizzie's the woman I love... Lilin have sex with mortals all the time. It's what we do. I know I made a bit of a mess… but I can brush up on my powers so it won't happen again. She'll be safe with me."

"No one has listened with greater interest than this council, Lorcan." Dahlia held out her hands, willing Lorcan to hear her words. "You appear to be the one who does not listen. Who better to understand emotions and sex than your own people? Your love for her is what makes you dangerous to her. If you gave into your baser urges you could drain her and leave her mad or dead. Do you understand why you cannot be with her as you are? You are too inexperienced. It is not to meant to be. I'm sorry."

"Yeah, well, you're wrong!" Anger tinged his panicked voice. "Lizzie and I belong together. I feel it! I'm the only one who's ever loved her, cared for her, helped her. She still needs me, I know it! There's something real here and you can't take it away!" He panted, angry at them and himself. Why did he have to be lilin? He felt her inside him, like a knot in his chest which squeezed his heart at the mention of losing her. She was his life. If he'd been human, he wouldn't have this council of bastards telling him his love was wrong. "She wants me to stay. You can't do this. You can't take me away from her!"

Seeing Fred's distress made Felicia stand. "There is something you need to know. It's crucial you hear this and understand why Lorcan is so attached to Lizzie." She looked at each member of the council. "Would you be willing to hear it from the doctors who examined both Lorcan and Lizzie?"

"Very well. Summon the doctors, please," Dahlia said.

At her summons, Emil appeared in a swirl of black smoke with a dark-skinned woman materializing beside him. She carried folders of her own, her hair done up neatly with golden beads woven into the braids. Tossing her head back, she glanced at Adrian and flashed him a tiny smile before her expression ebbed into a stoic mask.

Adrian elbowed Remy and grinned. "That's mine."

"I know. Raven, told me." Remy grinned at Raven who ignored him by pretending to listen to Emil. "Not as into playing doctor as I would have thought."

"Your Honors," said the succubus, bowing her head. "I'm Doctor Raven. I was assigned to examine the mortal woman, Elizabeth Cronin and I've found something worth mentioning before discussing Lorcan."

At hearing this, Fred stood taller, holding his breath. What had she found? Hadn't Felicia said Lizzie was unharmed? "Isn't she alright?"

Clearing his throat, Emil raised his hand. "We've _both_ found something, actually, Your Honors. Though, my findings were in Lorcan."

"What? In me?" Fred pointed at himself and glanced back at his family with concern. What the hell was Emil talking about? When the pompous loon had examined him, he'd said nothing had been out of the ordinary. "Just when were you gonna tell me? There's something wrong with us?" he asked.

"Don't get me started on that list…" Emil muttered without a glance his direction.

"Did he find that stick up his ass?" Remy asked, grinning.

Castor snorted. "I bet it's a log."

"I was asked to ascertain Lorcan's mental state," said Emil, annoyed and tucking his hair behind his ears. "After examination, I've concluded he is indeed of sound mind."

"That has to be a mistake," Remy muttered.

"Remy, hush!" Calliope hissed. "I want to hear this!"

Shea and Andras both shared an anxious, knowing look.

"The mortal as well," said Raven. "No signs of insanity or physical harm, just some parental issues and scars from an abominable ex-husband. Personally, I think that man should be on trial himself, and may Karma be swift."

Fred's relief that Lizzie remained unharmed nearly dropped him to the floor, but he couldn't stop his running thoughts. If she was fine, if they both were, then what had they found?

"I wish we could try her husband," Shea grumbled. "What an asshole."

"During my examination of Lorcan," said Emil, "I discovered his magic suit effectively stamped out his nature by tricking his body into a state just before adolescence. As the magic wore off over time, he re-entered adolescence, needing to finally feed. I'd place him at that point right now, but it's temporary." Emil smiled proudly and straightened his files. "In about a day he should fully function as an adult incubus."

Fred's eyes widened. _A day?_

"Oh, so he's a teenage virgin, again," Remy said.

Emil cast Remy a dirty look. "I'd also like to make mention that while Lorcan did feed from several mortals this night, only one is draining the suit's magic from him. Elizabeth Cronin. And very quickly, for that matter."

"Lizzie's… Why?" Neither doctor heard Fred's whisper.

"So, I can't be fully blamed for that snot rag blowing up? I'll take it!" Shea grinned, pumping her fist. Gabriel nudged her and she settled back in her seat still smiling.

Lifting her chin, Raven stepped into the center of the room. "I also found something strange regarding the mortal. While I did find Elizabeth highly amped on lust as expected, there were surprisingly no signs of physical exhaustion from the feeding." She glanced at Fred as if studying him a moment. "I've never encountered anything like that before, and none of my research provided an answer."

"But that's good, isn't it? She's unaffected." Fred shrugged, trying his best to stay positive.

Raven looked at him incredulously. "She's mortal and this isn't the expected outcome. I don't like not having answers. Just because something appears stable now doesn't mean it stays that way. Mortals are fragile beings compared to us. They need our every precaution."

Fred gulped, but held to his facade. "I don't know. She's resilient. I whapped her with a shovel once and she didn't crack." He smiled, but even he didn't believe himself.

"It's just more proof he's a menace!" Padma said, her cheery haze gone. "I'm sure the mortal will be insane when she is examined again!"

Raven returned her focus toward the council. "After searching some texts, I returned to the mortal for further examination. I had a suspicion… and Your Honors, I found something big." She anxiously glanced at Emil.

"Was it a smile?" Adrian snorted.

"If it's big, can't be Lorcan's penis," Remy sing-songed.

"Don't belittle, uh, joke about your brother's penis! All the incubi in our family are huge! Lorcan is no different!" Calliope smiled at Fred. "It's alright, Darling. I'm sure your mortal knows you're very well-endowed."

Fred's mouth opened and closed, a high-pitched breath escaping him. "Oh goody. Just what every lad wants to hear from his mum."

"But who better to know than your mother?" Calliope asked. She looked at Remy. "All of you are very capable lovers. Of course I know what sizes you are."

"We know, Mother," Remy said. "But Lorcan is never home to hear it. You should tell him some more."

"Ugh! Stop it! My knob doesn't need a pep talk, thank you!"

"Are you sure?" asked Adrian. "What if he runs away again for three hundred more years of winter?"

"He might need to tie a string to it," Remy snickered.

Whining, Fred turned to his mother. "Mum! Make them stop teasing me about my knob!"

Calliope opened her mouth to speak, but Andras squeezed her knee. "He doesn't need your input, Calliope."

"But-"

"Let it go, Dear," he said.

Emil smirked, hands behind his back as he paced before his audience. He'd waited years for this moment. Everyone had told him he would never make close to the monumental discoveries in science as his father had, but today he would prove them wrong, and right before the eyes of the council. Right before Algernon.

Algernon smoothed back his dark hair, winked at Emil and waggled his eyebrows at Raven.

As Emil paused at the end of the council's row, Fred noticed his doctor's glance at Algernon lasted a little too long to be natural. His brow furrowed.

"Perhaps this will best explain our findings…" Emil waved his hands, black smoke swirling from his fingertips. A life-size, holographic image in the shape of a woman appeared, silhouetted in white. It hovered in the center of the room.

"Better avert your eyes, Lorcan," Remy called out. "You might see a lady's breasts!"

Emil over exaggerated clearing his throat to bring all focus back to him. "This is a representation of a normal human's soul. We all know they're white and shimmery, like light. Now this…" He waved his hands again and a male figure appeared beside the woman, except it resembled a shadow. "This is a lilin's soul. Black as night."

Fred scrunched his nose, watching the entire presentation. He felt as if he were at school and it frustrated him. Where was he going with this? He wondered if Emil even had a point or if he just flagrantly loved to talk.

"Maybe Lorcan will finally get the sex education he's been lacking," Castor said.

"How long is he going to talk? I have a few appointments to keep," Remy said, sighing. "Sex waits for no lilin."

"Lorcan, step forward," said Emil.

Fred jumped. "Why?" he asked, standing rigid. "I already said I'm not giving you any samples!"

Emil rolled his eyes. "No, not now. I do want them later. Please do come here."

"What if I say no?"

"Now."

His tone left no room for argument and Fred noticed every eye in the room focused on him. Taking a deep breath, he stepped forward. Emil held out his hand.

"Stay still."

"Bet that's what he said to that mortal," Remy said, his voice lowered.

Fred fidgeted. "Am I allowed to blink? How 'bout breathing?" He tilted his head and Emil groaned.

"This is the chatter I told you about," he said to Raven. "Lorcan, just stand still."

"Boy, you're in a mood." Fred rolled his eyes.

"If he says 'bend over' next, I'm going to lose it," Castor said, laughing.

Remy snorted with laughter. "Please, Bacchus, please let him say it."

"Quiet! All of you! This family is giving me a migraine! Lorcan, just do as I say," said Emil. "I need you to go incorporeal for a moment."

Scoffing, Fred shook his head. "I can't, Mr. Science. The council's snuffed my magic."

"You try my patience," he muttered, turning to the council. "I'd like to request that Lorcan be granted temporary abilities for evidence sake."

Valerian looked at his fellow council members. "Why not? I'm curious to know where this is headed."

"This is ridiculous! Why are we even entertaining the failure and the other failure?" Padma muttered.

"Get to the point!" Sirius growled.

"Have faith in science," said Emil with a smug smile.

Holding up a finger, Remy cleared his throat. "Isn't that an oxymoron?"

"Shush!" Calliope said, turning and swinging at her son. "Stop interrupting!"

Remy dodged out of habit even though his mother couldn't reach him. "Sorry!"

Dahlia looked at the guards. "Give Lorcan his powers, please." The four guards each raised an arm and pointed at Fred. The warm, electric buzz of their magic flowed out and enveloped Fred and with his magic returned, he shivered.

"Now," said Emil at Fred. "Fade out."

Shrugging, Fred faded to his incorporeal form. He noticed all attention remained on him and he wished that this form wasn't visible to other lilin. Emil's satisfied smile unsettled him as he watched the incubus open his hand and reveal a small, red orb.

"What's that for?" asked Fred.

"Doesn't even know what a ball gag is. Sad." Remy shook his head.

"So help me, Remy, I will ground you for the rest of your eternal life!" Calliope hissed.

Remy crossed his arms over his chest and slouched in his seat as his brothers laughed.

Ignoring him again, Emil lightly tossed the orb at Fred. It floated his direction, expanding and covering his being like a second skin. The red faded and Fred watched as his body grew dark as a shadow with only a small, white glow in the center of his chest.

"What the hell did ya do to me?!"

"This orb lets us see another's soul." He pointed at Fred. "Note the white."

The council members all leaned forward, staring at the bright, white spot Emil pointed to on Fred's chest. Dahlia appeared fascinated and Padma's mouth dropped open.

"This cannot be!" Sirius said.

"And here's an image taken earlier of the mortal," said Raven, shifting the hologram of the woman into the image of Lizzie's soul. Fred's eyes widened when he saw that in the same place as him Lizzie had a mark identical in size and shape with his, except hers was black.

"They've begun a mutual soul-bond," said Raven.

Fred's jaw dropped. "You've gotta be shitting me!"

"What the fuck?" Castor yelled, looking around the room.

"I can't believe it! My baby has a soulmate!" Calliope shrieked in glee.

Andras ran a hand over his face. "Of course they have." He glanced at his daughter, the moment they'd been waiting for having finally been revealed.

"She's having us on," Remy scoffed.

"But it would explain a lot of things," Pollux said.

"How can this failure start a soul-bond?" Padma growled.

Gabriel leaned closer to Shea, who fought against appearing guilty, but failed. "Did you know?" he asked.

"Me? Know about that? Nope. Not me." She smiled a little too widely.

Gabriel shook his head. "Trouble and lying badly runs in the family."

Shea stuck her tongue out.

"This is better than Little Red Riding Hood," said Adrian, unable to look away.

Clutching his chest, Fred couldn't speak. He just stared at the image of Lizzie's soul, at the black mark where a piece of his soul rested. He reached out for it, but timidly pulled his hand back and rubbed his chest instead at the place he felt her inside him. It suddenly made sense what he felt, that gnawing feeling of need and connection wasn't just his, it was her. They'd become a part of each other.

 _Snotface is gonna kill me…_

"You just keep getting more and more interesting, Lorcan," Algernon said, grinning at Fred. "If only we had met under different circumstances."

Perplexed at Algernon's words, Fred squinted at him. His attention flitted between the hologram and Algernon, unable to focus. "What?"

Beside him, Emil's eyes flashed with jealousy that Algernon bothered to flirt with Fred. An insult in his opinion and in the face of his monumental discoveries.

Emil tucked his hair behind his ear and cleared his throat. "Their coital interruption, and I believe the suit, kept the soul-bond from progressing to the point of no return. Meanwhile, Lorcan exhibits signs of withdrawals from it not reaching completion."

Fred squinted at him, trying to process everything that tumbled like an avalanche onto his head. "Point of what?"

"And the mortal is also experiencing symptoms," added Raven. "A part of her seeks Lorcan's return. She feels him. These are not abilities mortals should possess. We're uncertain what this means for her. Every record on lilin-mortal soul-bonding shows it has been unsuccessful, as the mortals never in turn gave back a piece of their souls after the lilin offered theirs. This mutual bond… is certainly new territory." Raven surveyed Fred with apprehension.

"We're going to have a crazed or dead mortal on our hands," Padma said, crossing her arms over her chest. "He is a danger!"

"Not necessarily," said Raven. "Soul-bonds only mutually happen between soulmates. All evidence points to this being Fate, despite Elizabeth's mortality."

"Soul… mates?" Fred squeaked, his eyes wide. "Me and Snotface?"

Padma mumbled to herself, and refused to acknowledge the doctors.

"Fate? A lilin and a mortal cannot live together indefinitely," Sirius said, staring at the doctor. "Mortals cannot stand long-term exposure to us."

"That is true," said Emil. "Without the suit, Lorcan can only be near the mortal a few days at a time. Even a week is pushing it before needing weeks or months apart. Long-term, even six months spread out, is impossible for her sake."

"I'm curious what this means for the mortal's health with a piece of a lilin's soul inside her," said Valerian with concern. "What happened to the other mortals on record?"

Emil took a deep breath. "They all died. Exhaustion, but they slipped into madness before that. And, at this time we don't know the answer to Lizzie's fate, but it is doubtful the outcome will be different if the bond completes."

"She will need to be monitored until we can determine the next course of action to take," Dahlia said. She looked over at Fred who didn't appear to be following the conversation.

Fred's eyes grew wider and wider and he looked down at his chest, caught in a strange mix of bewilderment and bliss, unable to stop his grin. Lizzie was a part of him and with his magic restored he felt her stronger than before. Its intensity scared him, but he wanted more, and savored it. Her soul felt like a warm embrace, fluttering near his heart and he felt so happy he wanted to burst. He wondered what it would feel like if the soul-bond completed, what it would be like to be a part of her and make love to her.

Slowly the blackness faded from Fred and his features returned, leaving him in his corporeal form with a lovesick grin on his face. Lizzie cared about him enough to give him a part of herself and he recalled her words from the dream.

 _'_ _Stay with me. Be mine always.'_

Suddenly Lizzie's blissful presence in his soul made him ache to be close to her again, to feel her body and her soul against him and all around him. The feeling of being so far away pained him and he felt the emotion mirrored in her mixed with confusion. She wanted this, too and he gasped under its call.

Raven lifted her hand and flicked her magic his direction. A calming wave of energy washed over him, dropping him to his knees in his physical form. "Elizabeth will remain under my care. Lorcan is another matter… Case in point," she said, nodding at him as he panted on the floor.

"The good news is, their soul-bond is temporary at this stage since they avoided the point-of-no-return, but as you can see Lorcan craves to complete it," said Emil.

"We cannot allow them to complete it," Dahlia said, frowning. "He needs to remain here until the soul-bond is undone."

"For once, you are speaking sense," Padma said, looking from Dahlia to Fred. "Lorcan cannot go back to the mortal. Better for all he never goes back to the mortal realm."

"I didn't say he should never go back!" Dahlia glared. "He just cannot have a soul-bond with a mortal. It will only end in heartache."

"Are we all in agreement that the soul-bond between Lorcan and the mortal must be undone?" Sirius asked.

"Absolutely!" Padma said and after a moment, Dahlia nodded.

"I'm not!" Algernon said. "Can't something be done?"

"There must be another way," Carys murmured.

Valerian nodded. "Yes. For their sake, we shouldn't be too hasty. If they are soulmates, then a solution must be found."

"Shouldn't the two involved get a say?" Shea demanded.

Sirius waved her off. "They are clearly not equipped for a decision such as this!"

Shea glared. "Why you-"

Gabriel clamped a hand over her mouth. "Calling him names won't help."

' _It'll make me feel better_ ,' Shea spoke in Gabriel's mind.

"Trust me. It helps," said Fred, pulling himself back to his feet. His lovesick haze had dissipated and he noticed Raven must have blocked his powers to give him back his senses. He glared at Sirius. "Look, I might be an utter, utter fuck up of an incubus, but if Lizzie's my soulmate, you can't just take her away from me."

"You prefer a dead soulmate to a living one?" Sirius sneered.

"Well… that's a downer," said Adrian.

Crossing his arms, Fred sneered back. "She's my soulmate. Why would this even happen if it was just gonna end in death?"

"That's opening a can of worms," Remy said. "Everyone loves a good tragedy. Romeo and Juliet. Cathy and Heathcliff. Mark Antony and Cleopatra. Hitler and Eva Braun. I'm sure there's more."

Eyes wide, Fred stared at Remy. "Whose side are you on?" he hissed.

"I'm all for you having sex, but you need to think of her. She'll get you for just a little while and you'll have to go away again. Is that the kind of life you want for her?" Remy looked into Fred's eyes. "You'll probably hate me, but I'm just saying she deserves someone who won't pop into and out of her life."

The anger washed away from Fred's face and he stared back at his brother. Remy was right. Fred knew he was right and hated him for it. How could he give Lizzie the life she needed and deserved when he was an incubus? She already didn't forgive him for leaving her last time and she'd asked him to stay both in and out of her dream.

It suddenly hurt to breathe and Fred placed his hand over his chest, over their soul-bond. They were meant to be together, he knew it, but how could they make it come true? She was mortal and he was a demon. What if the only way for them had been his suit? Fred suddenly hated what he was more than ever before.

Fred tried speaking, but a shaky breath came out under the weight of his pain. Several seconds passed before he had enough control to try again.

"Alright," he whispered hoarsely, the room blurring as his eyes burned with tears. He quickly covered them with his hands, the ache in his chest feeling like it would break him. "I'll, I'll let her go."

* * *

 **Authors' Notes** **:**

 **unleashthewords** **:** Are you shocked? Well, don't give up on us now. Especially now that you've met the family! I hope you enjoyed meeting Fred's parents and some of his brothers. I'd love to know what you thought of the crazy. :)

 **zombierose3** : Don't hate us! We have more chapters written and coming!


	7. Chapter 7: Fate Steps In

**Authors' Notes** **:**

 **zombierose3** **:** I'm sorry for the delay getting this out. Hope you're still with us! :) Thank you for the reads and comments.

 **unleashthewords** **:** Confession time! Algernon is an homage to the fabulous Dorian Pavus from Dragon Age: Inquisition! If you're a fan I hope you appreciate this nod to the magnificent mustached mage! Thanks for reading this weird story that was supposed to be a one shot and turned into a novella. :D

 ****** **Disclaimers** **:** We do not own Drop Dead Fred, Ade Edmondson, Wednesday Addams, Mr. Wizard, Sera & Dorian Pavus (Dragon Age: Inquisition), Ariel (The Little Mermaid), Dracula, Chucky, or Disney's the Haunted Mansion.

* * *

 **Chapter Seven**

 _ **Fate Steps In**_

"I'll, I'll let her go," said Fred, keeping his hands over his eyes. He couldn't open them, not yet. He just wanted to keep the image of Lizzie in his mind, of her smiling face and big, brown eyes, even the look she gave him when he pissed her off. He wanted every detail because it was all he'd have left for eternity.

Fred shuddered, memorizing the way Lizzie felt inside his soul, so warm and tender. She fit perfectly, like the spot had always been waiting for her and he gently laid his hand over it. How would it feel when their bond broke? Cold? Empty? Unbearable for certain.

 _Fuck, I don't wanna let her go._ Fred squeezed his eyes shut until they ached. He didn't want to open them to an existence without her. _How can this really be goodbye? She wants me to bloody stay, too! How can I?_ His grief flooded his broken heart, seeping through its cracks until it reached every part of his being.

Barely able to keep her tears in check, Shea gripped Gabriel's hand. Her brother's hurt seeped into her and she felt it as if she was the one being asked to give up their true love. Gabriel squeezed her hand and she felt his love for her. Praying to every deity known to lilin, Shea hoped Fred could be with Lizzie.

Behind Shea, Remy felt pulled apart by his own guilt and Fred's despair. He had only wanted to help and to keep his brother from being locked away. Now, he had ruined his life. Wishing he could fix it, Remy sat in silence, praying Dahlia and Carys would have mercy on Fred.

"At last you're being reasonable, Lorcan," said Padma. "Now we can-"

An unnatural wind tore through the room and Fred latched onto Felicia's arm before it knocked him to the ground. He braced himself, Felicia taking an iron grip on his wrist as gusts flew at them from every corner.

"What the hell's happening?" he cried.

"The world is ending! How should I know?" Felicia shouted.

Around them, lilin leapt from their seats, frantic and holding onto whatever they could. The council room doors slammed open, a bright light flashed, and as suddenly as it had begun, the winds ceased. Silence followed.

Confused, Fred squinted at the empty doorway, his hair sticking up worse than usual. "Okay… what the fu-"

A young, blonde woman stood inside the doorway, a smile on her pink lips. Strutting into the room, her pink heels clicked on the black floor. Her hips swayed, swinging her pink, plaid skirt as she neared Fred. She tossed her long hair over her shoulder, waved at a few stunned lilin, and stopped before the council.

Posing, one hand on her hip, she thrust out her chest, her light pink shirt stretching across her breasts. "Pardon my interruption," she said, "but I see our guidance is needed!" She turned her head, making eye contact with Fred. Looking him up and down, she gave him a wink. "Hello, Fred. It's so nice to see you again."

Fred started. "You! You're, you're here? Uh… yeah." Fred couldn't believe his eyes, but there she stood, at least a head shorter than him: one of the Fates. _Odd_ , he thought, his mind wandering. He didn't remember her being that small compared to him. "Y-you, too." Suddenly he realized he still clutched Felicia's arm like a big girl and he let go as if it had burned him. "Uh, hi. I mean." He scratched the back of the head and waved.

Mouth open, Felicia stared at the Fate in front of her. They rarely made public appearances and sightings of them were sporadic at best. The Fate fixed her blue eyes on Felicia and smiled. Nervously smiling back, Felicia straightened her shoulders.

Almost in unison, the room of lilin returned to their seats, but Felicia kept her eyes on the unconcerned Fate. She knew that where one Fate appeared, the other two were sure to follow, which meant something immense was about to happen, and Felicia awaited the inevitable chaos with anxiety and excitement.

Ahead, Padma clenched her jaw, fighting for control once more. "Chloe." She nodded in greeting. "The council was not expecting such a flamboyant entrance or for you to actually grace us with your presence." Her displeasure was not subtle. "A note would have sufficed." Padma sighed. "I suppose you have something of interest to tell the council regarding Lorcan?"

"Damn skippy, P!" Chloe flipped her long hair over her shoulder and Fred's eyes widened with interest.

Padma sighed at Chloe. "Please, do not call me that."

"You know, for nudists, you sure have your panties in a wad," Chloe said. "Well, some of you." She turned to look at Remy. "There's an incubus who knows how to show a girl a good time." She waved. "Hey there." Remy's cheeks pinkened as he waved back, making Felicia laugh.

"Blushing must run in the family," she quipped, noting how similar Remy and Fred looked to one another.

"Talk about tempting Fate," Adrian added, making Fred roll his eyes.

"You're a ruddy greeting card," he said, but something else caught his eye.

Black ooze bled from between the floor tiles, forming a puddle before him.

"Oh no. Not Miss Sunshine," uttered Fred.

Suddenly the air turned chill and a woman rose from the inky pool, clothed in black. Her pale skin practically glowed against her dark attire and her gaze fixed on Fred.

Fred gulped at the second Fate. "Ash… you haven't changed."

Crossing her arms, she stepped forward, her garments hanging like tattered drapes. "Immortality's cheeky like that," she said in a monotone. She stared at him long enough to be uncomfortable, black lipstick accentuating her morose expression.

"So… very… corpsy," added Fred, feeling the need to fill the silence. Ash's eerie stare felt worse than what he imagined insects might feel like under one's skin. He shuddered.

"True, yet I'm hardly anything to cower over when your lilin threads can't be snipped." Motioning at Chloe, Ash tilted her head. "But _she's_ basically in charge of the universe. Scary, isn't it?" she said, staring Fred dead in the eyes.

"What's scary is that your face doesn't move when you speak!" Fred retorted.

Ash held her stare.

"Ugh! Stop that!" Fred shouted.

"Death always wins." She snapped her fingers and sighed as if suddenly tired. "Alright. I've had my fun… Speaking of…" Ash turned toward Chloe. "Stop flirting. You're not here for that one today." She pointed at Remy.

Tossing her hair over her shoulder, Chloe pouted. "Who says I can't mix business with pleasure, Ashie?" She wiggled her fingers at Remy, who smiled back. "Besides, we both know how all of this will play out."

Ash rolled her eyes. "Whatever."

The clicking of heels on the dark, stone floors echoed in the room, making Chloe turn to see the source.

"Welcome to the party, Miss Buzzkill." Chloe smiled.

The third Fate straightened her white blazer and rolled her eyes. "I'm here to make sure you stay on task. A job that I am forever doing." She patted her brown hair that was pulled back into a bun.

Chloe stuck out her tongue. "I know how to do my job, Lidee."

"Please don't call me that. It's Lydia. Lid-ee-uh." She smoothed her pencil skirt that matched her jacket and sensible heels. "Honestly."

Chloe winked at Ash. "I know. I just like making you say it like that."

Lydia sighed. "The lilin, Chloe. Finish what you came to say and let's move on. We have a million lives to plan out, and Ash has a million more to end."

Ash tilted her gaze up at Fred. "I've just sharpened my scissors. It almost makes me giddy," she said in a tone that held no mirth. Fred took a step away and leaned toward Chloe.

"She takes her work too seriously. Are you sure she's not dead?" he whispered. The corner of Ash's mouth twitched, but it was so subtle Fred wondered if he imagined it.

Waving off Fred's concern, Chloe rolled her eyes. "I'm sure she is dead inside. We're used to it." Looking at Lydia, who was now glaring, she sighed. "Fine! Back to business, or you'll be on my case forever." She spun to face the council, her blonde hair whipping into Fred's face. He flailed and batted to get it out of his mouth and eyes.

Smiling brightly at the row of stone-faced lilin, Chloe said, "We gave them that soul-bond for a reason. They're supposed to be together. What is there to get?"

Spitting out strands of hair, Fred's eyes widened. "Wait- We are?" His heart skipped so hard he nearly choked. "Is Lizzie- is she mine?" A smile broke over his face. "For reals? For really, really?"

Lydia cleared her throat, looking almost beleaguered. "Chloe's been… creative recently. And you've been difficult. Eros and her conferred. No other is, or could be, a perfect match for either of you."

"Seriously?" Fred cried. "My Snotface and me?!" He beamed, the lead-like weight inside his chest gone. His heart pounded so hard he felt he'd lift off the ground. "I knew it!" He whooped, bouncing with uncontainable joy. _Soulmates. And wait 'til she hears I'm perfect_ , he thought.

"Yep! You're welcome," Chloe sang.

The murmuring in the room grew into a dull roar, but over the din Calliope could be heard shouting, "The Fates chose the perfect person for my baby! Did you hear that? Soulmates!"

Algernon leaned forward. "Well, slap my ass and call me Sera!"

Sirius visibly seethed and strangled noises came from Padma as she stared in horror at Chloe. In contrast, both Dahlia and Valerian cracked a smile.

"Oh! It's like a fairy tale!" Carys clapped her hands together, grinning.

"I'm glad some of you appreciate our work," Chloe said.

Adrian shook his head. "The rest of our brothers aren't gonna believe this," he uttered.

"I just want to go home." Ash sighed. "My scissors crave a mortal's thread..."

"This is preposterous!" Emil blurted. The doctor threw his files to the floor, papers scattering. "Everyone knows mortals don't get soulmates. They don't live long enough to require a soul-bond. And this mortal's supposed to bond with _this_ lilin?" He pointed at Fred. "Absurd!"

"Drama much?" Chloe asked, rolling her eyes.

"Who cares how it usually _works_. The point is, she's mine." Fred sneered at him.

Emil scoffed. "And the universe has rules and boundaries. That is science."

"You're a magical twat," Fred said, crossing his arms.

Chloe moved toward Emil and glared. "We are the Fates. We don't owe anyone explanations for what we do, especially overzealous fools with big mouths!"

Emil pursed his lips, but took a step back. "I meant no offense regarding your ways. Only that science-"

"I am beyond science, and I'm done with you." Chloe flipped her hair over her shoulder and humphed. "Talk to the hand, Buster!" She held her palm up and turned away, but her icy demeanor melted when she saw Fred.

"Oh, Freddy," she cooed, "I know you have something you'd like to ask me. So, ask!" She smiled as he quizzically blinked back at her.

"Um, yeah…" He glanced at Emil with distaste. "The quack has a point." He frowned, fidgeting. "I mean, how's this supposed to work? Me and her? She's got that whole mortality thing, and well…" He wrung his hands and looked back at Remy. His brother's words, wretched as they were, stuck with him. "What I am's no good for her. How are we supposed to soul-bond and do the happily-ever-after thing when I can't stay with her very long without, ya know..." Fred made a ripping sound and dragged his finger along his neck.

"Details." Chloe waved a hand at him. "You're meant to be. Obviously." Chloe emphasized the last word. "You've been thinking it the wrong way around. Freddy isn't supposed to be mortal. Lizzie's supposed to become lilin."

The murmurs resumed and Fred distinctly heard his mother's cry of joy.

"A what now?!" Fred shouted so loud he was sure the next world heard him. "Liz- Lizzie's- I can't catch my breath. She's- Lilin?! I don't think I heard that right." He stuck the tips of his pinkies in his ears and furiously wiggled them.

"Did I stutter?" asked Chloe. "I said she's going to become lilin. She's not one now." She scoffed. "No one ever listens. I hope those brothers of yours have better listening skills."

"You already know the answer to that question," said Ash, scanning the row of Fred's brothers with her blank stare.

Remy frowned. "Why is Wednesday Addams looking our way?"

"She mentioned brothers," Pollux said. "I'm suddenly concerned. And if we weren't immortal, I might be concerned we're about to die."

The corner of Ash's mouth seemed to crawl as it pulled into a smirk. "There are greater things to be concerned about than death. And Remy, our eyes are always looking your way. They're on every one of you." Her attentions shifted to Castor.

Castor blinked. "Ash."

"Awkward moment?" Pollux looked at his twin, who repeatedly tapped his foot on the floor.

"Shut up," Castor hissed.

His brothers' interruptions shook the last of Fred's patience. "Hello! Can we get back to, oh, I don't know, the really _huge_ thing happening in _my_ life right now?!" he cried, running his hands over his face. "Honestly!"

"Now he wants to talk about his knob business?" asked Adrian of Remy who shrugged.

Exasperated, Fred spun back to Chloe. "Is this some of kinda joke?"

"I don't joke with love, Freddy," she said. "It's in poor taste and I take my job very seriously. We all do."

"But, but _human_! She's _human_!" Fred growled that he couldn't get out what he wanted to say.

"Very good," said Chloe, bemused. "And soon she's going to be like you. All lilin." Reaching out, she patted the top of his head, shaking some remnants of green magic from his hair. "And all yours."

"Ugh!" Fred stepped back. "But this doesn't make any sense!" he cried. He felt himself shaking at the idea of Lizzie changing and he looked over at his parents in confusion. All his life he'd dreamt of becoming human; he'd just known he belonged in their world. Even Lizzie had dreamed of him promising to turn mortal. _I couldn't have been that wrong… I just couldn't. She can't become a succubus!_

Chloe smiled. "Just because you believe and want something bad enough, doesn't mean it's the right path. Freddy, this is the way to be with the woman you love, who you're meant for."

"But I-"

Lydia lifted a hand. "I've got this one," she said, stepping toward Fred. "The reason you've felt so connected to the mortal world is because of who you're destined to be with. Lilin can have a sixth sense when it comes to sensing their soulmates. Not all, but enough of you."

Fred wrinkled his brow. He didn't like that answer. It made him feel like an idiot getting it backwards for so long. Huffing, he said, "Fine. But you still haven't explained how this is supposed to happen with Lizzie." He matter-of-factly crossed his arms.

"If only someone else had thought to ask just that…" Emil muttered, drawing glares from both Chloe and Fred.

"Quiet! I don't want to hear 'science,' or anything else out of you for the rest of this meeting!" Chloe pointed a manicured finger at Emil, who flinched.

"Yeah, piss off!" Fred cried, waving him off and adding an exaggerated head roll. His eyes locked with Chloe's. "Well? Out with it, Missy! What do you mean she's supposed to become lilin? She's just gonna poof!" Fred snapped his fingers. "Change species? You said that couldn't happen!" Flailing, he almost accidentally smacked Felicia, but she dodged at the last moment.

"It can't happen with lilin," corrected Lydia. "A spirit cannot ever become flesh."

"But flesh can become a spirit," finished Ash.

Fred paused, this new information feeling like a kick to his stomach. "But then… this isn't a joke? She's really…" He gulped, the idea of Lizzie changing into a lilin and what that process meant finally sunk in. "This isn't gonna kill her first, is it? I mean, how else could she become a spirit?" Hard as he tried, no other ways leapt to his mind and he suddenly felt queasy. Miss Death and Scissors wasn't about to snip his Lizzie's thread of life, was she?

Ash rolled her eyes. "Much as I mourn the loss of cutting your mortal's thread, and tingle at the idea of sweet tragedy, she is safe from my shears."

"Ashie, I love you, but lighten up," Chloe said, her hands on her hips. "This is a happy affair, not a wake."

"Whatever."

Lydia cleared her throat. "Sisters, we're getting off topic again."

"Okay, okay, Buzzkill." Chloe turned back to Fred and sighed. "It's not a death. It's a transition."

Fred squinted in confusion. "I'm giving her blood?"

"I said transition! Tran-zi-shun! Not transfusion!" Chloe yelled, clenching her fists. "Do I look like Dracula?"

"She does." Fred pointed at Ash, who remained deathly still.

"Fair point," Chloe answered, relaxing.

"So..." Fred began, lifting his brows.

"Relax. It's nothing to fret about," Lydia interjected. "It's just changing her nature."

Fred's eyes widened. "You're talking about her soul?"

"Ding, ding, ding!" Chloe clapped. "You got it, Dude!"

Fred's eyes widened with apprehension. "And you promise no killing?"

"Not unless she has an accident before you get to her," Ash said, rolling her eyes. Fred gasped. "What?" she asked. "Things happen. She forgets to look both ways when crossing the street, that's not my fault, Casanova."

"What do you mean before I get to her?" Fred frowned, but he didn't take his gaze off Ash. _First thing I do when I get back to Lizzie is keep her away from streets…_

Ash began humming what sounded like a funeral march. Fred paled.

"Yes… Now that we've circled back to this riveting topic..." interjected Emil, standing with his hands behind his back. Chloe bared her teeth at him. "Fates or not, no science or magic exists to turn a mortal lilin. The mortal will go mad, I expect, even if fated to soul-bond. Explain yourselves."

Chloe's eyes narrowed at Emil's comment. "What did I say, Mr. Wizard?" She pointed at the insufferable incubus. "I said to shut it, and I don't need to explain anything. Just because you don't understand how it happens, doesn't mean that it can't." She looked at her sister. "Ash, can we rescind immortality?"

Ash's black brows rose and the Fate actually looked surprised. "Uh, no." Her porcelain mask fell back into place. "Not that I haven't contemplated it."

Chloe turned back to Emil, who looked ill. "What a shame. Guess you still get to live forever and annoy everyone around you for all eternity." Her eyes looked around the room. "You guys seriously bum me out! You're the sex group! You're supposed to be fun." She tossed her hair and stomped. "I'm out!" Spinning on her foot, she turned her back on Emil again.

"It is my duty as a doctor and a lilin of science to ask questions, and I will be heard." He held up one finger, looking like a strange statue.

"Challenging Fate. _Very_ idiotic," said Ash to Emil, who slowly lowered his hand. "And so cliche. Don't be that person." She sighed, her gaze flitting around the room at the blackened walls and shadowed art. "Lilin aesthetic does fill me with such a dark peace." She hummed and stole another glimpse of Castor, her pale skin almost a light in the dark.

"It was idiotic," Chloe said, glaring at Emil, who avoided eye contact as he retreated to his seat. "I have woven a finite amount of lives and one pushy, know-it-all lilin is no match for Fate." Chloe looked to Ash. "And of course you love the decor here. It's black. Like your soul." She wrinkled her nose at the room and Fred stepped closer to her.

"I don't like it either," he said. "They need some color… and trousers."

"True, they could use come color, and some bangin' threads," she said, looking Fred up and down. "No clothes isn't really a crying shame." She winked at him and he bristled.

"Don't be gross," Fred remarked, wrinkling his nose. He suddenly remembered how naked he was, but it concerned him even more that he kept forgetting about it. "Can we just get back to Lizzie? I'm still lost."

"Ah, your soulmate. What do you want to know, Freddy?"

He tilted his head. "Well, are you abso-positivo-lutely sure I can't be human?"

Crossing her arms, Chloe raised a blonde brow at him.

"Alright, alright!" Fred huffed. "Worth a shot… So, the changing's not something that's already started with her, is it? Because I've already got enough sorrys to remember."

 _Wouldn't that be great. 'Hey, Snotface! Boy, do I have a surprise for you!'_ He cringed as his unhelpful imagination supplied him with Lizzie slamming another door in his face and phoning twelve priests.

Chloe smiled. "Relax, Romeo. Lizzie's all human. The only change is she's just a little linked to you from your soul-bond starting."

"Right." Fred exhaled. "Guess that's better than I thought," he mumbled. _But what happens when she does change?_ His stomach knotted with worry. _Will she be different?_ "So, uh, how exactly does Lizzie become lilin, then?" Beyond concern for her, he still wasn't sure how he felt about the idea of her changing; he wasn't even comfortable with the idea of himself being a lilin. _But I do really wanna be with her..._

"What else with you color-impaired people? Sex." Chloe placed a finger against Fred's lips before he could object. "I mean sex in the dream world. Obviously if you have sex in the real world that would go all sorts of wrong." She wrinkled her nose at the idea. "I suppose there's worse ways to go. Well, obviously, there are. I've planned them all." She shook her head as she laughed.

"And I watched." For the first time, Ash smiled. Raising two fingers, she mimicked snipping shears as Fred's mouth fell open.

"That's just sick, you psycho!" Fred shouted. "What, so it'd kill her in the real world?!"

Chloe sighed. "Seriously, your lack of sex ed is really bumming me out." She frowned at him, shaking her head.

Fred pulled back from Chloe, feeling bummed out himself. When he'd imagined being with Lizzie intimately, he hadn't wanted it to be in the dream world. He'd wanted everything to be like it was in her world, so it was normal for her. He knew how important normalcy was to her. "But-"

"You're too inexperienced for that, Lorcan," explained Lydia, her tone taking an edge of warning. "Your magic's more potent outside of dreams because it would touch her body more than just her soul. Physically she couldn't take it. You'd overdose her."

Chloe nodded. "I'm sorry, Freddy, but you have to start in the dream world."

Hesitating, he nodded. "Okay, but then I'm still confused… Lilin have sex with mortals in dreams all the time and no one converts to sex demons." His brow furrowed so much his head hurt. "Why's it gonna change Lizzie?"

Chloe groaned. Spinning around, she frowned at Andras and Calliope. "Did you raise him in a barn? Under a rock? Why am I even asking?" She turned back to Fred. "This is why you needed divine intervention! There was no way you were getting it done without help! Leave it to Fate, indeed!"

"I would have snipped your mortal's thread of life before you ever made a move," said Ash.

Fred gasped. "I'm not _that_ bad!" The entire room scoffed and groaned, making him jump. "Traitors," he grumbled. "Hey, wait a second!" He looked at Chloe, noting her mischievous smile. "What'd you do to me? You said divine intervention. Why?" He eyed each of the Fates, especially Ash with concern.

Chloe giggled. "So naïve. I didn't _do_ anything to you. Just gave you a push."

Fred gulped. "I think I would've remembered being pushed."

"How do you think you got here?" Chloe surveyed her pink nails.

"A slight lapse of control..." he answered, his concerns growing.

"Further than that, genius," said Ash.

Fred's eyes bugged and he made a strangled cry.

Patting his cheek, Chloe smiled. "You're welcome."

Face red, Fred stared back at the cheery blonde rewriting his existence. "You pushed Lizzie to have that dream, didn't you? So I'd lose my soddin' mind? And-" He stumbled back, gasping. "Oh my god! Did you plan this to break my suit?!"

Chloe tapped his forehead. "Did you forget the first time we met?"

"Course not," he said, blinking rapidly from her distracting tapping. "You helped me solve my problem."

Smiling, Chloe moved her index finger in a circular motion. "Yes…"

Fred's eyes crossed after following Chloe's finger around a couple of times. "Okay," he said, dragging out the word. _What does she have to look so happy about?_ She looked like a child with candy who wouldn't share and he remembered the same look on her face back when she'd told him about the solution to avoiding his nature. Suddenly Fred got a sinking feeling inside his stomach. "Oh no… My suit?! You pushed me with my suit?"

Chloe tapped Fred on the nose. "Give the boy a prize!"

Grabbing his nose, Fred growled. "But that was almost three hundred years ago! What, you've just been waiting all this time for this?" He waved his hands at the courtroom and then his naked self, unsure if he should feel impressed, betrayed, or scared of Chloe. Screaming also sounded like a good option. "You promised the suit would give me what I wanted!"

"Didn't it?" She smiled.

Opening his mouth, Fred realized he had absolutely nothing he could argue. "Fuck's sake, I've been had."

Shea snorted. "As much as I appreciate someone pulling a fast one on Baby Brother, I can't believe the most fashionable person would inflict such an eyesore on all of us for so long."

"She could've at least let us in on it," uttered Adrian.

Remy burst out laughing. "Baby Brother got played!"

"It's not funny!" Fred spat, so furious and embarrassed he could burst. Remy didn't stop cackling. "Ugh! I hate you!"

"Remy!" Calliope glared at her son. "Do not laugh at your brother! This is still very serious. Isn't it, Andras?"

Lost in thought, Andras didn't answer right away and Remy kept laughing.

"Andras!" Calliope poked her husband, making him flinch.

"Hmm? Oh. Sorry," he said. "I still can't fathom that the Fates set all this in motion and it wasn't at all how any of us thought it would turn out."

"Guess Ariel doesn't get to be human, eh?" Remy sniggered.

"For the kazillionth time, I'm not a mermaid!" Fred shouted. "I look nothing like her!" Seeing all the stares from his family made Fred groan and clutch his head. "I can't believe this has happened!" The Fates had tricked him and a leprechaun suit had lured him to his soulmate and led him right back to being lilin. "You, you tricked me with my favorite things! Humans, clothes, and Snotface!"

Calliope wrinkled her nose. "Dear, is that what you really call her?"

"This is the most amazing thing I've ever heard of," Castor said, his voice just above a whisper. "Even I couldn't have planned something so clever..."

Pacing, Fred started talking to himself. "This is the weirdest, bloody fairy tale of all time! She tricked me!"

"I do like to entertain," Chloe said, but smiled at Castor. "Weaving lives can also be entertaining. Especially when it comes to love. There's so many options." She winked at Castor, who looked confused.

Adrian had held his mouth open in morbid fascination for a while, but no amount of shock could deter him from missing an opportunity as big as this moment. Elbowing Castor, he nodded at Chloe and said, "Sounds suspicious. Perhaps you're next, big brother."

Castor's mouth opened in surprise. "Me? It could be you for all we know!"

Adrian scoffed. "Or Remy more likely. He's Chloe's favorite. Seems fitting she'd owe him a favor."

"Me?" Remy said, looking at Chloe. "You're planning your games with my life?"

"Of course not, Remy. You're wonderful. I only want the best for you," Chloe said, pleading with him to understand.

Remy's gaze moved to the floor. "Maybe I know what's best for me."

Tilting back her head, Ash stared up into darkness. "All this night has me feeling generous, so I will say the next brother is in this room." She smiled, but no one could see it.

Everyone turned their gazes toward the brothers.

"Well, this is completely awkward," Remy murmured.

"Now I know how Lorcan feels," Pollux said, frowning as he avoided eye contact.

"Then you get why I never came home." Fred smiled in sympathy.

"I'm one hundred percent certain it's not me," said Adrian. "I'm in too much demand for a soulmate." He grinned. "How would that be fair to the universe?"

The rest of the family groaned.

"I call bullshit," Shea said.

"I second that," Remy said, holding up two fingers.

"I third it," said Raven, smirking at Adrian.

"Hey!" he cried, but Raven shrugged a shoulder.

"I sleep with you. I don't lie for you."

Ash groaned. "Chloe, Lydia, will one of you explain to Lorcan what to do with his mortal already? I have souls to cut down. Coffins don't fill themselves."

"I don't need you nagging me, too," said Chloe. "Why do I have to explain sex to the people that invented it?" She stomped her foot. "Lid-ee-uh, you can explain the birds and the bees to Freddy."

Patting her hair, Lydia nodded. "If this will get us back on schedule, I will be happy to." She turned to Fred. "Listen closely, because I will only say this once and then we are leaving." At Fred's nod, she continued. "You must have sex with Lizzie in the dream realm. You must both willingly give each other yourselves. It must be mutual. If she doesn't commit, the soul-bond will not be complete and you cannot continue. I repeat, you cannot continue. You with me so far?"

"Yes, yes. Dream world. Soul-bond. Then what?" Fred didn't want to show it, but he was actually very curious in hearing what they had to do.

"Once you have completed the exchange of souls, you must feed from her in the flesh. She will then feed from you and you will then consummate your bond and she will become lilin."

Fred's jaw dropped. "Wait, wait! I thought you said not to do it in the real world!"

Lydia smiled. "Your soul-bond will protect her. It's the start of the ritual to turn her. She'll be safe."

"Bloody hell…" Fred took a seat on the floor, trying to process everything he had to do, and everything he'd have to explain to Lizzie.

"I thought the ritual was just legend," Dahlia said.

Lydia shook her head. "Your elders banned it, because too many were attempting the bond with terrible results. The ritual is only meant for soulmates."

"And this time it will succeed?" Dahlia asked, her brows raised.

Lydia nodded. "It is woven in the threads. It will be done."

"If you people cracked a book more, you'd know these things," said Chloe, flipping her hair.

Raven's eye narrowed. "I have searched the libraries and read what records exist. We have no entries of this ritual ever being successful."

Lydia sighed. "Yes, you do."

"No, we don't."

"You skimmed, didn't you?" Lydia asked, raising a brow. Raven's stammer was answer enough. "As I thought. Never skim, you miss the important parts." She sighed and noticed the smirk on Emil's face. "And stop looking so smug! The important parts would hit you in the face and you'd still ignore them!" Emil's expression wiped and he looked at the floor. "Good." She cleared her throat. "Allow me to clarify everything… again. In your history this ritual has only been successful five times."

"Five times?" asked Dahlia. "Why have we never heard of this?"

"Crack a book, people!" Lydia exclaimed. Chloe grinned. "Honestly." She pinched the bridge of her nose before answering, "They were all a long time ago. Once was with a lilin and a human male. The other four were with lilin and other races."

"Astonishing," said Algernon. "I know what I'll be reading this evening."

Still on the ground, Fred only half-listened to what went on around him as he repeated Lydia's instructions in his mind. _Sex in her dreams, then in the real world… but what if..._

"Are you sure she'll say yes?" Fred asked, standing up. Everyone stopped around him, surprised by his interruption, but Chloe smiled. It didn't comfort him.

Now that Fate had cemented him and Lizzie into completing a soul-bond, and a sex ritual, his insecurities warred within him. Anxiously, he squeezed his hands together. He hated to admit it, but he didn't like the idea of turning her into a lilin. What if she became a different person? What if she hated it? Hated him?

 _She barely handled that I'm real. Now I'm supposed to shag her into the next world?_

Chloe stepped forward. "It's meant to be. And this way Lizzie will be your first." Patting his cheek, she smiled at him.

"My first?" Fred broke into a grin, his heart pounding and feeling breathless. "You mean… So, _all_ of it? The _whole_ thing?"

"It's all planned out. I'm a genius! Of course, you're going to need some help again. We've all seen how you handled your declaration. Wow. That was a complete shi-"

"Chloe! Time to go!" Lydia crossed her arms. "We've dallied long enough."

"Coming, Buzzkill." Chloe sighed. "This is going to take some help from your siblings, Freddy. Sister knows best." Chloe winked. "And my favorite redhead." She looked at Remy. "You're a good brother, and a good friend. Goodbye, Remy."

"See ya around, Beautiful," Remy said, giving her a half-hearted wave.

"Excellent, now we can leave!" Lydia said, hooking her arm through Chloe's. "Lives to plan! Deaths impending! Lovely to have seen you all! Goodbye!" She marched toward the doors, pulling Chloe with her.

"Bye!" Chloe called. "Good luck, Fred!"

Smiling, Fred waved. "Bye," he said, but whispered from the corner of his mouth at Remy, "How is it she's so cheerful and terrifying at once?" He paused, feeling watched from behind.

"She is definitely a force of nature," Remy said, looking in the direction Chloe went.

Turning around, he saw Ash with her death stare aimed right at him.

"I hope no one expects a big show and exit outta me. It was what it was. Except…" She tilted her head Castor's way. "I'll see you soon. With chains on." With a wave, she melted back into the black ooze she had emerged as and disappeared through the floor.

"That was an experience," Shea said.

"I'm surprised her head didn't rotate," said Adrian.

Turning in her seat, Shea looked at Castor. "That was a rather ominous departing statement. Anything you want to share?"

Castor scowled. "She was probably messing with me. One sexual experience and she's holding it over me still."

"Really? You and the Dark One? Do tell," she said, leaning forward.

"I'd rather not," he said, looking away.

Pollux leaned toward Shea. "I think Ash was the one he nailed in a coffin." He laughed. "Nailed in a coffin. Classic."

Shea gaped with shocked interest. "No! Really?" The family all stared at Castor.

"Alright, yes! It was with Ash!" he cried.

"Kinky. How was it?" Shea asked, her brows raised.

"A little too convincing on her part," Castor said, through clenched teeth.

"Who knew big brother had that in him?" Shea said, laughing.

"I think you mean, you didn't know who had him in them," Remy said, leering at Castor.

"Shut up! You're the one mooning over Chloe!"

"Shut your face!" Remy yelled, lunging at Castor.

"It was only a matter of time before a fight broke out," Shea said, watching Remy and Castor punch each other.

"Boys! Stop this!" Calliope shrieked. "Stop hitting each other!"

Fred snorted, watching the show. "This is great! Why don't I come home more often?"

"You can make them stop, Mother," Shea said, wincing when Remy's fist connected with Castor's right eye. "You're a succubus."

"But they're my babies," Calliope murmured, wringing her hands.

Sulking, Fred crossed his arms. "I'm the baby…" he mumbled.

"For fuck's sake," Shea muttered, sending out her power with a nod of her head. Remy and Castor froze in place with Remy's arm locked around Castor's neck. "Ah, it seems like it was only six hundred years ago when you were rolling around on the floor, beating each other like idiots. So nice to see some things never change."

"I miss the days when there was biting," said Adrian.

"Let me go," Remy growled through his teeth. "I need to wipe the floor with this asshat."

"You wish. You're whipped! The only thing you'll be wiping is the floor. With a mop!" Castor looked at Shea. "Let me go!"

"No." Shea made a face. "You're both annoying. You can stay like that for awhile."

Fred snorted at the ridiculous sight of his frozen brothers. "Ha! You'd made great statues for the pigeons to crap on. Nice work, Sis." He'd always loved when she took control and did that to his brothers. When he was small, she'd sometimes let him adorn them with ridiculous clothing, or set random objects in their hands. Remy had hated the tutu and Castor had screamed a lot over the tiara. He smiled at the memories, but of course it had never been fun when the tables were turned. _Crap, I hope Lizzie won't figure that power out anytime soon…_ He frowned.

"Scheherazade! Let your brothers go!" Calliope hissed.

Sighing, Shea turned back around, releasing her magical hold. The brothers fell to the floor, grumbling about their sister. They started to lunge at each other, but paused when Calliope leaned forward.

"Don't do it, or I will make you regret it!" She glared, her tone making both incubi wince.

"Sorry, Mother."

"Yeah, sorry, Mother."

They both sat down.

"You could've let 'em get in one more punch," said Adrian.

Clearing her throat, Dahlia looked at Fred, as he focused his attentions on her. "I realize that I am no match for the Fates, or your endlessly entertaining family, but we do have this matter to settle, Lorcan..."

Fred arched his brows. "What? Isn't it already? I mean, Fate's not something you can argue with, right?" A tinge of worry entered his voice as he wondered if they might still prevent him from returning to Lizzie.

Glancing over at Padma, who looked like she wanted to strangle someone, Dahlia frowned. "Yes, uh, we cannot go against Fate."

Padma unclenched her fists, her eyes still shining with rage. "No, we cannot."

"Thank, Minerva," Dahlia whispered. Sighing, she placed a hand to her chest before she gave Fred a half-smile. "Though, before we get to the happy part, we must finish your sentencing."

Fred nervously shared a look with Felicia.

"More like the happy ending…" snickered Adrian, jerking his hand. Calliope turned and flicked her son's ear with her magic. "Ouch!"

"Shh!" Calliope hissed.

"Lorcan," said Dahlia, "you have broken the laws established by our forebears. These laws are sacred and protect both mortals and our way of life. This is something that cannot be ignored."

"He should be locked away until the end of time," Padma muttered, receiving a glare from Dahlia.

"As confinement is used in only extreme situations," reminded Dahlia, "you will not be locked away. You will, however, be subjected to confinement in Lullabi for a period of no less than six human months." She held up a hand before Fred interrupted her.

"Because of your unique situation, and the endorsement of the Fates..." Dahlia shook her head, a small smile on her face. "...you are being allowed certain latitudes. I hope you realize how lucky you are." Pausing to see if Fred absorbed her words, she continued.

"Your confinement will begin after your goodbyes with your mortal charge and completing your soul-bond. In the meantime, you will not be allowed any unsupervised visits to Elizabeth Cronin, and when you are not with her, you will remain here until she makes her choice." She surveyed Fred carefully for any signs of disagreement.

"In other words, I have to be babysat," he said, crossing his arms.

"That is because if you are not, you'll drain the woman into madness or death," Sirius growled and Fred cringed.

"While you are in Lullabi," Dahlia continued, "you will return to the educational facilities with the adolescent lilin. You will learn all about your heritage and your abilities. You will be tested at the end of your confinement, and if you pass your tests, your ban from earth will be lifted. If you do not pass, you will return to school. You will also be learning at the hands of our watchers. I think learning from your brothers will be a nice bonding moment for you all." Dahlia smiled, looking pleased with herself.

Blinking, Fred's gaze flitted from Dahlia to his brothers, trying to wrap his mind around everything. Adrian smiled and waved, surprising Fred with his good mood.

"So… I have to do school? _Again_?!" Fred groaned and rolled his eyes. School and six months in Lullabi learning lilin things? A low whine sounded in his throat. He knew it could be worse, but were they trying to kill him?

Felicia stepped beside him and whispered, "Remember you are not in a position to be choosy. You're getting off easy and getting what you wanted. Be grateful." She smiled at him, urging him to accept the ruling.

"Alright. I accept," he said to Dahlia. _Felicia and her points._ He smiled at her, though. "Does this school bit start after… the, that thing I gotta do with Lizzie?" he asked. Saying aloud that she'd become a lilin wasn't something he felt ready to do.

"No." Tilting her head to one side, Dahlia lifted her brows. "And I'm sorry. What thing are you referring to?"

"You know ruddy well what thing! Did you forget already?" he asked, blushing, but trying to maintain a stoic expression.

"For fuck's sake! Just say sex!" Shea yelled. "Sex!"

Fred jumped back.

Dahlia's lips twitched, but she managed to stare at Fred in silence.

"Just say it, Fred," Felicia urged.

Remy and Adrian chanted, "Say it! Say it!"

Fred stared agape at his siblings. "Piss off! I won't!"

"Darling, just tell the council what you're asking," Calliope said. "You want to be with her, don't you?"

Locking eyes with his mother, Fred pursed his lips. He did want to be with Lizzie and he hated that he had to admit this word for word to the council. They knew damn well what he wanted. "Of course I do, but does it need to be said out loud?" he whispered.

The entire room groaned.

 _Stupid lilin and their super hearing_ , thought Fred.

"Such an embarrassment," Shea muttered.

"Do you think he'll have sex with his eyes closed, too?" Remy asked.

"He'll be fucking the couch before he realizes it's not Lizzie." Adrian laughed.

"Is that what you tried, Castor?" Remy asked.

"I hate you," Castor said, not looking at his brother.

"Lorcan," Andras said, looking at his son. "Stop skipping around the issue. The Fates gave you a gift. Don't fucking squander it because you can't say sex."

Remy and Adrian clapped. "Hear, hear!" they shouted.

Huffing, Fred turned back to the council and said loudly, "Fine! I want to go have sex with Lizzie. Are you happy?"

"Bacchus' balls! That was like pulling teeth!" Remy said. "Are you going to be able to look at her breasts?"

"I-" Fred choked. His face felt so hot he lost his words. "Yes! I have eyes!"

"Oh. Brilliant response. One flash, bet his eyes will die of shock," said Adrian.

"He might need a map to find her vagina," Remy said. "It's below her navel, by the way."

"What?!" Fred squeaked. "What're her bits doing with the navy? I can find 'em just fine, ya know! I already ha- I mean- UGH! I hate you!"

"Doesn't count. You had help before," Adrian quipped, winking at Remy. "Virgin's luck. Cheating."

"Yep. I mean it was like a fifty-fifty shot, right?" Remy said. "Good thing he went for a frontal assault."

Covering his face, Fred muttered to himself, "I have to live with this for six months?"

"I think it's just as much a punishment for me as it is for you." Remy rolled his eyes. "But think of what a learning experience it'll be. You might even pick up some tips. How to use your tongue on her. Where your penis goes. You'll know what boobs look like and everything."

Fred turned back to the council, fighting to keep himself from leaping over the row of seats behind him and pummeling Remy. "Can you just finish sentencing me, please?"

"You do realize, sweet, baby, virgin brother, that the sooner they do that, the sooner you're in our hands, right?" Adrian asked.

Fred rolled his eyes.

"I heard that," said Adrian.

"Carys?" Dahlia said, looking at the succubus to her right. "Would you like to take this?"

The young-looking succubus, leaned forward, a smile on her lips. "I would love to. This is so exciting! I could weep at the romance of it all!" She clapped her hands together. "Lorcan, this is a very big step, and it is so wonderful that you'll be united with your soulmate!"

A smile crept over Fred's face and he noticed the flutter of happiness and excitement inside himself. He still couldn't believe that Lizzie was his; he'd felt it for months, but for it to be true felt surreal. _Me and Snotface forever…_ "Hope she can handle forever with me."

"Since the Fates have said it happens, it will be so!" Carys said, grinning. "This is just like a romance novel!"

Fred looked at the floor, but managed a tiny smile. _Lizzie does love all that romance shit… It's perfect._ Now he really couldn't wait to tell her, to finally give her the kind of love he knew she'd always craved and dreamed about.

"Sounds like a strange romance novel," Shea said. "I'd read it."

"Me, too," said Adrian. "But we still must know whether Lorcan's gonna gaze upon yon maiden's pillowy bosom."

"And throw her on a feather bed and plunder her goodies?" Remy chimed in.

"I think seeing me as a pirate again would just bring up bad memories..." mentioned Fred.

"Ah! So you are into roleplay! Avast! I will swab your decks, fair maiden!" Remy pretended to wield a sword.

"Aye! He was "The Pirate Who Doesn't Touch Anything" if I recall…" Adrian eyed him. "You'll get to change your name!" He grinned.

"The peg-penised pirate!" Remy shouted.

"No wonder you're both unattached," Shea muttered.

"But they could be next to find their soulmates! You heard the Fates!" Calliope said, grinning. "My babies will find their true loves. Oh, I'll have so many grandchildren soon! Andras, just think of it!"

"Not with those idiotic ideas," Shea said.

"Breathe, Dear," Andras replied, squeezing his wife's hand. He smiled.

"Pfft! It's not gonna be me," said Adrian. "Bet it'll be Ol' Castor Blaster. He's the oldest," said Adrian.

"Yeah, well I bet it'll be Remy," said Fred, grinning straight at him. "And I bet he'll have lots and lots of kiddies, too."

"I don't think so," Remy said. "I'm a reconfirmed bachelor."

"I'd take that bet, Lorcan, but you got nothing I'd want," answered Adrian with disappointment.

"Lorcan," Carys interrupted, "from what I see, you're much better off listening to Algernon when it comes to Lizzie. He's the most romantic person I know." She smiled at the incubus seated at the end, who waved.

"Thank you, Carys, my dove! I'm so glad you appreciate my many talents." He blew her a kiss and winked at Fred.

"Of course I do!" Carys smiled. Turning her gaze back to Fred, she tapped a finger against her lips. "Now about your happily-ever-after... Things must be explained to Lizzie, and I know the Fates said your sister and Remy are needed for that... While tact isn't your strong suit, you are very honest, which is a good quality. It'll have to be broken to her gently, but you must give her the choice. Do you understand?"

Fred nodded. "Well, yeah. Of course. I wouldn't wanna force her into anything. This is big, and it's forever. I want everything to be her choice. Always. She hasn't gotten that much in her life. And I won't do anything until she's really ready."

"Good. I know the Fates have seen the outcome, but choice is important. I think you're much smarter than everyone gives you credit for. You also seem to understand her very well. It'll help you." Carys narrowed her eyes. "Now we know it will happen, we just don't know when. I'm sure some wooing will be involved. I think that's my favorite part. What do you plan to do?"

Fred's eyes widened. Of all the planning to tell Lizzie his feelings, he'd never actually planned beyond that. He'd always been about making things up as he went along, but Carys was probably right. He'd need to romance Lizzie to get her to see him in a new light and the idea frazzled him.

"Um. I… I guess try to do some of the things I've heard her say she likes." He took a deep breath, hoping he could say this aloud before changing his mind. "She loves romance." He started to roll his eyes in an effort to hide his discomfort, but he stopped himself. "I guess I could start with a letter? I don't know. I wanna make her feel special and show her how much she means to me. Make her feel like the most important person there is." He faltered, trying to think of what would make Lizzie happy.

"That sounds so lovely!" Carys put her hands to her cheeks. "I'm sure a heartfelt missive will be much appreciated. It's so romantic."

Fred ignored the remark as it left him with an odd feeling in his stomach. "Will I get my powers back? I wanna take her on a date."

"A date?" Carys paused as she thought over Fred's request. "Well, that's so very mortal, but you are courting a mortal... Dahlia, can it be allowed?"

Dahlia started at the mention of her name. "What? Oh. A date? It's rather unorthodox." She glanced at Padma, who didn't even seem to be paying attention anymore. "I suppose it depends what this date entails. I imagine you in large crowds isn't the best idea. We're trying to limit your contact with mortals until your ban."

Fred couldn't believe what he was about to admit. "I just wanna make her dinner," he said quickly.

No one in the room moved. All eyes were on the fidgeting incubus in the center of the room.

"When did you learn to cook?" Shea asked, breaking the silence.

"Jessica's mum loves to watch a lot of shows about it. Lots of the foods reminded me of Lizzie, so I just sorta paid attention…" He cleared his throat. "Plus, I've got magic! Mortal's do it without any of that. Can't be that hard, right?"

"You think you're some kind of fairy godmother?" Remy asked, looking horrified. "Where do you put your wand?"

"I'm Fred. I don't need a wand." He smiled, proudly.

"Oh, Hades, she's gonna die," said Adrian. "Baby Brother's gonna be a virgin forever. Mother, help your son! We all beg you."

"I don't know how to cook! We don't eat food!" Calliope cried, wringing her hands. "Can't you compose her a sonnet? What about a nice bouquet?"

"Mum, a romantic salad's not gonna _kill_ her," cried Fred. "We fed her mother worms once."

"What the fuck's a romantic salad?" asked Adrian, raising a brow.

"Nothing says romance like lettuce," Shea said, wrinkling her nose.

"Look, I don't know! I watched Lizzie making one and that's what she called it!" Fred tossed his arms up in defeat.

"So, you're saying she's as weird as you? Got it." Adrian nodded.

"Did this salad lead to any romance?" Shea asked.

Fred made a disgusted sound. "No. She was making it for her cruddy, no good husband right before I finally proved to her he was a cheating bastard."

Fred's family just stared at him.

Sighing, Shea shook her head. "Please, don't make a salad."

"Salad bars are where romance goes to die," Remy whispered.

Fred wrinkled his nose at Remy. "I don't get it. Isn't that what she thinks is romantic?"

"Salads taste of despair and poor taste!" Algernon added, pounding his fist on the table. "Fruit baskets are for friendships. Flowers are for declarations of love. No salads!"

Slapping her forehead, Shea groaned. "You want to make her a romantic salad just like she made her lying, cheating bastard of an ex-husband?"

"Well, I- Ohhh!" Fred waggled a finger at Shea and smiled. "I see what you're getting at." His grin disappeared the more he realized. "Yeah, that'd be pretty terrible, wouldn't it?" He cringed. "Well then, what do you suggest, Miss Romantical Authority?"

"Flowers are definitely a good start," Shea said. "And the universe's best apology to go with it wouldn't hurt."

"Ladies always love chocolate," Remy added.

"They also love jewelry, commitment, and men who put the toilet seat down," Castor muttered.

"That's rather specific," Pollux said, looking at his twin.

"I listen," he said, quietly.

Pollux nodded, looking surprised.

"Write her a song!" Calliope suggested.

Shea looked at her mother. "I don't think Lorcan sings."

"He doesn't. I've spent enough time watching him to meet that unfortunate moment once or twice," said Adrian. "But, I have seen enough to know that your Lizzie needs to know you're sticking around." He tilted his head and widened his eyes, suggestively.

Fred blinked, confused. Like Castor, Adrian had been the hardest on him when it came to teasing or bullying him. He didn't know how to take this more lighthearted, eager to offer advice version of Adrian. It was almost like he became a different person without his hair. Fred's gaze drifted to Castor, who also seemed different toward him. _Huh. I don't know if I like this, or if I should run..._

"So, you're saying she's scared I'll leave again?" he asked, quietly.

"Um, duh!" Adrian rolled his eyes. "For knowing so much about her, you know squat!"

"See. Commitment," Castor said.

"But then she asked me to leave tonight..." Fred said, working through the last moments of their conversation.

"Because you're a nimrod," quipped Adrian.

Carys nodded. "Your brothers are very sharp. I've read the file on Lizzie. The two most important men in her life left her. That is something one does not get over easily, if ever. Letting her know that you will be there for her is very crucial."

 _And I've left her, too._ The thought came so quickly he couldn't prepare for the pain it left him. "Right… Okay, I can definitely promise her that I'm not going anywhere ever again. Actually… that makes a lot more sense about why she got so pissed..."

"Bacchus' staff, you're dense," Remy said, shaking his head. "No wonder she wanted to murder you; I want to murder you."

"Oh, it gets worse," said Adrian. "Seem to recall him saying something like, 'Oh gee, Lizzie." His voice mimicked a squeaky-voiced child. "There's a problem if I stay! Don't you remember that we kissed right before I left you? When you thought it was goodbye forever! Ha, ha! Gee, I like you. I just thought it'd go away! Whoops! I was wrong!'"

Fred gasped. "I did not _sound_ like _that_!"

"Bollocks! That's when she got pissed off, isn't it?" Adrian's eyes widened at him in challenge and Fred's face reddened.

"Just… Stop... making sense!" cried Fred, crossing his arms. Adrian laughed.

"So we've all agreed, romantic gesture, and swear to never leave her. How are you going to drop the bomb on her?" Remy asked.

Fred shrugged, but worry lined his face. "I don't know. I guess after the apology, if she takes it well. I'd like to wait, but… I know we don't have much time together with her being human, and I'd rather get all the secrets out of the way so she can trust me. Mum… or Dad? What do you think?" He waited, watching his family for any advice.

"How long do you think this trend of our son actually listening to us will last?" Andras asked.

"Shush! The point is that he is!" Swatting her husband's arm she clicked her tongue at him. "Honestly, the children get their mouth from you!" Turning, she smiled at her youngest son. "Darling, you need to bare your soul! If you tell her how much she means to you, she'll listen! I'm sure it'll make her want to be with you, too!"

"Okay…" Fred took a deep breath and smiled at his mother. "I'll tell her everything." He stared at his father a moment, his comment making him wonder what he'd say to him in private once the trial ended. _And then I'll be here for six months…_ Fred turned back to Carys. "So, now that you know my plans and you've put me in time out, is there anything else?"

"Scheherazade, Remy, you'll go with Lorcan to see Miss Elizabeth Cronin?" Carys asked.

Valerian leaned forward. "Yes, you'll both be needed as added protection for them with Lorcan in his current state."

Remy nodded. "First row seats to the freak show, sure."

"Remy!" Calliope hissed.

"Yes, I'll be there to make sure he doesn't screw it up," Shea said, smiling widely at Fred. "Without me he'd probably screw up this Fate-ordained relationship."

"Hey!" Fred cried. "I'm not that awful!"

"Oh, virgin brother, quit while you're already behind," added Adrian, shaking his head.

"You got yourself here," Shea said, crossing her arms over her chest. "You're awful, at least when it comes to love, but there's hope for you." She smiled.

"Yep," chirped Adrian. "Soon Lizzie'll be a very happy succubus. And you know what they say, happy heart, happy vagina."

"That isn't a saying," Pollux said, his forehead wrinkling in confusion.

"It's not?" Adrian squinted. "Well, it is now. I'm gonna make it a thing. Shea likes it, right, Sis?"

Rolling her eyes, Shea looked at Gabriel. "We need to leave here and just have sex for the next twenty-four hours. Please?"

Gabriel laughed. "As soon as you get back from fixing your brother's love life." He kissed her. "You know you love meddling."

Her smile changed into a scowl. "I don't meddle!"

Castor snickered. "Right."

Fred's brow rose at that remark and he noticed his brothers making the same skeptical expression at Shea.

"Don't say another word!" Shea ordered.

"I think we can conclude this meeting, can we not?" Carys asked, looking at the other council members.

Dahlia nodded. "I agree."

"Never has a meeting gone on so long," Padma grumbled. "I never want to see this group again." She glared at Fred and his family and vanished in her own cloud of dark vapor.

Dahlia stood. "Good luck, Lorcan. We'll be watching." A dark column of smoke enveloped her and she disappeared. More lilin followed suit, but some stared at Fred a moment longer, whispering amongst themselves before they too vanished.

Rising from his chair, Sirius pointed at Fred. "If you murder your mortal, the Fates cannot save you from the punishment you will receive. Remember that." Without waiting for a response, he left as the others before him.

"Wanker!" said Fred. "I'll show you!"

"Don't let him turn your head," said Valerian, offering a smile. "It's nice to see these changes with you and I wish you well with your mortal. It can only get better from here. Once she is lilin, we will need to meet with her."

"Why?" asked Fred with concern.

"To decide how to help her adjust to her new life here. There will be difficulties at first, of course." He smiled, but Fred just chewed at his bottom lip.

"Right. Guess that makes sense," he said.

Nodding, Valerian stood. "Oh, and, Dr. Raven?"

"Yes?" She straightened in surprise.

"Watch over the mortal's health from now until the soul-bonding is completed. Lorcan, too. Never can be too cautious."

"As you wish."

"Lorcan is my patient," said Emil.

"The hell I am!" spat Fred.

Valerian pursed his lips, but not in time to completely hide his smile. "I think he's in better hands with Dr. Raven. She seems to have a handle on the entire situation, and a succubus can subdue him if need be. You and Dr. Raven are dismissed." Without another word, Valerian vanished, missing the scandalized glare from Emil. Both doctors followed suit in their own clouds of black just as Algernon stood.

Smoothing his mustache, he grinned at Fred. "I wish you all the luck in the universe, Lorcan. Remember, faint heart never won fair lady." He winked. "With those baby blues, you'll knock her dead. Figuratively speaking, of course. I do have one question. Would you mind if I were a witness to your consummation? It's been ages since I've been to a good sex initiation."

Fred choked and started coughing and Felicia had to pat him on the back until he calmed down. He'd completely forgotten about that part of Lullabi tradition. Every initiation had at least one witness to celebrate and share in the rite of passage.

"Um, I, I think Lizzie'd mind. She's very mortal, ya know. Any witnesses would bother her. So, I think in her- our case, we need an exception, don't we?" he asked. _Seems sound to me..._

Clucking his tongue, Algernon frowned. "Your unwillingness wounds me. I hope your lady love is more open." Rubbing his chin, Algernon looked lost in thought. "I don't see why she'd mind me witnessing? I'm a delight. I'm a generous lover, wonderful conversationalist, a glory to behold, and I'm more charming than a snake charmer." He smiled, flashing white teeth.

"Well, that's, that's a lot of things," said Fred. "And, um, Lizzie's very private."

"I'm very persuasive," Algernon said, winking at Fred.

"I don't think Lizzie's solely the problem…" said Adrian, innocently looking around the room as if he hadn't spoken. "Baby Brother's still trying to play human a bit longer, aren't ya?"

Fred scoffed. "Ha! No!" He shook his head at him, a crazed smile on his face.

"You mean Lady Lorcan doesn't want a man in her boudoir?" Remy asked, feigning shock.

"For the last time, I am not a girlie, a lady, a mermaid, or anything of the sort!" Fred cried, crossing his arms. "I just don't want Lizzie to be uncomfortable, is all."

"I might buy the chivalrous act if you weren't beet red, right now," Remy said, grinning.

"That's just a reflection from my hair! A trick on the eyes!" Fred stomped.

Remy blew a raspberry. "Weak excuse! Just admit you're embarrassed!"

"I hope I'm there when you're forced to admit something," he mumbled.

"I wouldn't be forced to admit anything!" Remy scoffed. "I'm an open book!"

"Uh huh. Just wait 'til the day you catch feelings." Fred sneered.

Waving a hand at him, Remy rolled his eyes. "Lilin have feelings, idiot. And I doubt I'll develop any for anyone ever, but if it did, I wouldn't turn into a stammering milkmaid like you."

Flipping him off, Fred rolled his eyes and turned back to Algernon. "Can't something be done to forget about this witness thing for us? I mean, our situation's very different."

Laughing, Algernon shook his head. "You're adorable. If I can't witness the momentous occasion will you at least stop by and give me the blow by blow?"

"No!"

Fred's family laughed.

"Not eager to regale Algernon with your sexual exploits?" Remy snickered.

"Bet that's gonna change once he's had some," quipped Adrian. "Oh no! Look, his hair's reflecting again!"

"Everything reflects off your skull!" Fred huffed.

Adrian laughed. "It sorta does. Ladies love it when they can look at me and a mirror at the same time." Fred wrinkled his nose like he'd experienced a bad smell and Adrian snickered. "Oh, it's gonna be so good to have you home."

"You've never said that before. That sorta terrifies me."

"I know."

The grin on Adrian's face made Fred squirm.

Chuckling, Algernon added, "I do hope your adolescence wears off soon, Lorcan. Your lady will appreciate you more if you're comfortable in your own skin." He paused, looking over at Fred's family. "I'm sure your family will be glad to witness your sexcapades. See you soon!" With a little wave, Algernon disappeared.

Pulling a face, Fred couldn't imagine himself ever feeling comfortable as an incubus, and he felt even stranger without the suit. So unlike himself in many ways, they were small, but enough to leave him out of place. He didn't see how his adolescence wearing off, or losing the remaining leprechaun magic would change that either, but he did wonder what Lizzie would think about him this way. His stomach fluttered with anxiety about their upcoming reunion and the longest talk he'd probably ever have.

 _And so help me no one's witnessing anything with us if I can help it._

"Witnessing them's the only way we'd believe it finally happened," quipped Adrian.

"You'll know it happened when I bring Lizzie home!" Fred rolled his eyes. "We're doing it alone."

"You do realize that everyone'll know exactly what you're doing when you're gone, right?" Shea asked, looking smug. She didn't have the heart to tell him he'd have witnesses whether he liked it or not.

"Wha… How's that?" Fred's voice lilted, nervously.

"How does he not know anything?" Gabriel asked in awe.

"He was hit in the head. Repeatedly," Shea said, rolling her eyes.

"Pfft. Yeah. By him," said Fred, pointing at Castor.

"Me?" Castor said, outraged. "I preferred psychological torture. Look at Chucky for the physical trauma," he said, jabbing his finger toward Remy.

"I admit nothing," Remy said, crossing his arms over his chest.

Tilting his head, Fred tried to remember. "Oh, that's right. Castor was just there smiling half the time." He rolled his eyes.

"Because he made me do his dirty work," Pollux said, frowning. "I still have guilt over it."

"I don't see why. He's barely scarred," Castor said, waving a hand at Fred.

"Barely?! When I was five, you told me that if I stayed in the human realm after dark, the priests would exorcise me and eat my head! I didn't sleep for a week and then you took me to earth to show me you were joking and left me for an hour in a cathedral!" Fred's face reddened as he relived the awful memory. "You know how many priests there are in those things?!"

Pollux and Shea looked at Castor who avoided eye contact.

"Your lack of concern is positively sociopathic," Shea said, making a face.

"Okay! Maybe I was a little mean," Castor said, holding up his thumb and forefinger to show just how little he meant.

"A little? What the hell's a lot then?" Fred cried. "Sending a mob of angry villagers at me?"

Carys' laugh interrupted Castor's response. "Your family is very colorful. It's been such a pleasure to see you all together." She looked at the succubi who were still on guard duty. "You may return Lorcan's powers."

The guards sent out a dark wave of magic that swirled around Fred before passing into him and disappearing. He gasped as he felt his powers reawaken, lighting up the place inside him where he felt Lizzie's presence in his soul. Fred shivered. "Fuck, that's intense!"

Shea immediately sent out her magic to soothe him. "Better?"

"Thanks." Fred smiled, catching his breath.

"It won't be like this once the soul-bond is complete," Calliope reassured him. "You'll see." Her warm smile comforted Fred.

"Not being a virgin helps, too," muttered Andras, who received a sharp glare from his wife.

"Goodbye, Lorcan," said Carys. "I do so hope that everything goes well." She smiled and disappeared from the room, followed by the guards, but Lila remained behind.

She walked instead to the doors, and stopped, turning to look at Fred.

"I hope you get your happily-ever-after, Lorky." She sniffed. "That's all I ever wanted. I had just hoped that it would've been with me." Without waiting for a response, she left the room and the last of the audience vanished with her, now that it seemed the show was indeed over.

"Damn. Now I feel bad for her," Shea said, frowning. "And for thinking she was a nutcase."

Pollux looked at Fred. "She really was harmless, and I felt what she felt when Chloe said you were meant to be with Lizzie. Still kinda hurts." He rubbed his chest.

"You felt it? That's odd," said Fred, thrown by his own guilt at hurting Lila. He'd never tried to understand her before, and they had been friends once when they were young. He remembered Lila having trouble making friends in class and he'd been the only one to defend her when the other children teased her. Unfortunately that friendship had turned into Lila developing a crush on him, which she never let go of.

Shea looked at Pollux through narrowed eyes. "I felt it, too. I'm surprised it resonated with you so much."

Pollux shrugged. "We've seen her pine after Lorcan for centuries. It's hard not to feel bad for someone like that."

"True," Shea said, still looking at her brother. "You are clearly far more sensitive than these idiots." She turned her gaze to Fred.

"Maybe I should talk to her? Say sorry, or something?" he asked, scratching his head.

"Give Lila some time. She probably needs to be alone to process everything."

"I've got no problems with that," said Fred. "So… now what?"

Felicia cleared her throat. "Well, since you asked and you're out of danger, I should take my leave."

Turning toward her, Fred stepped closer and gave her a thankful smile. "Yeah, um… thanks," he said, quietly. "I don't think I would've gotten anywhere near this happy ending if it weren't for you."

Smiling, Felicia leaned forward. "It got rather tense, but we pulled through. I'm so glad it all worked out for you. Fred."

He grinned wide. "Thanks, Licia." Fred wanted to tell her so much more, but words escaped him. Gratitude left him awkward and made him want to fill the space with jokes, so he just smiled and hoped she knew.

Seeing so many emotions flit across his face and feeling them, Felicia smiled. "You're very welcome. Now go make me proud, and try to stay out of trouble." She winked. "If you do ever need help, just give me a holler." At his nod, Felicia disappeared.

A loud smack was heard and Fred turned and found Adrian vigorously rubbing his hands together. "Now I think it's time I gave you my present," he said, hopping from his seat.

"Oh, fuck. What now?" Fred whined and slouched.

"I, Virgin Brother, am the reason you are this night _still_ a virgin!" Adrian flung his arms out to the sides and took a dramatic bow.

"What?!"

"Don't hold your applause. Feel it. Let it all go." Adrian stood and waved at everyone to make some noise.

Confused, Fred scanned his family for an answer. "Is he somehow high?"

"I'm pretty sure Lorcan is the reason Lorcan is still a virgin, or did you not listen to any of the trial?" Shea said.

"Ah, well that's where you're wrong, dear sister. You see, I was watching, as I do, and without me there to zap some sense into Lizzie long enough to realize his suit'd gone black, Baby Brother wouldn't have come back to his senses long enough to hightail it outta there with his panties still on. I saved you some more charges and future problems. You're welcome." Adrian started a slow clap in honor of himself as Fred watched with his mouth hanging open.

"You… Oh my god…" Fred held his head as he thought back. "It was… you?!"

"And yet you let him get that far in the first place? How's that helping?" Shea asked, glaring. "I had to fix your situation by getting rid of the nasty, green evidence!"

"Hey! A little respect for the dead, Shea!" cried Fred.

Shea mumbled something indiscernible under her breath.

Adrian just rolled his eyes. "How could I not let it go on that long? He's a three hundred year old virgin who whines about cooties. I figured if he got his feet wet, it might solve one of his laundry list of issues! Also… I wanted to see how far he'd go, but then I had to go be all responsible and big brother-ish. So, uh, you're welcome!" Adrian scoffed.

"That's not responsible!" cried Fred, throwing his hands up. "That's the opposite! You're a terrible big brother! You let me feed on my future wife when I could've killed her! She might've been babbling in the streets!"

"Duh, I was in control like your own guardian angel! And no, I'm a great big brother, and you didn't kill her, and from what I see she talks to herself anyway. But she liked what happened, and so did you. All's well and ya both got a hand job." Adrian rolled his eyes again and Fred dropped his face into his hands and let out a muffled scream. "Some might call me a hero…" Adrian added.

"Shea, I'm gonna kill him," Fred growled through his hands.

"Go ahead. We have ninety-six other brothers. He won't be missed." She made a face at Adrian, who gave her the finger.

Growling, Fred lunged at Adrian, but his brother turned to smoke and rematerialized behind Remy.

"Ha, ha! Ya missed me!" Adrian cried, placing his hands on either side of his head and wiggling his fingers.

"Ugh! Guess I did." Fred shrugged and sent a wave of his magic out to flick Adrian in the forehead.

"Ow!" He grabbed his head, stumbling back. "You wanker! Ya weren't supposed to do that!"

Fred laughed and did it again, this time hitting his brother in the ear and the nose. Adrian growled and vanished, reappearing behind Castor for protection.

"You've done the same trick for years. I was waitin' for you to disappear," said Fred.

"Oh, so then the virgin learned new tricks and is also a cheat!" Adrian rubbed his nose and sulked, but his hand hid his smile. No one need know he actually enjoyed having Fred back in Lullabi, or that he'd loved watching over him during the years. Teasing him was just a bonus.

"Look at our boys!" Calliope cooed. "It's like when they were little." She turned tear-filled eyes to Andras. "Aren't they precious? It makes me want one-"

"No!" shouted all the offspring, looking at their mother with horror.

"I think the clan has spoken," Andras said, trying to hide his grin.

"And on that note, I must be off. Time for my feeding. Toodles!" said Adrian as he kissed his mother's cheek, waved, and vanished from the room.

Remy stepped toward Fred. "I'm glad you didn't have to give her up afterall." He grinned. "It's been wonderful seeing you bare before all, but I have a hot sex session. See you and Lizzie soon, Baby Brother!" Remy slapped Fred on the ass, laughed, and disappeared before he could retaliate.

Fred yelped like an over-boiled tea kettle and covered his stinging ass. "Ugh! Bastard! I _hate_ it when you do that! That's such a cheap shot!" Rubbing his sore cheek, Fred shouted again, even though Remy couldn't hear, "And it better not leave a ruddy mark, or there'll be hell to pay!"

Grinning, Pollux walked over and gave Fred a pat on his shoulder. "I'm glad you're back, to stay out of trouble." Pollux turned and walked out of the room, whistling to himself.

Castor rubbed the back of his neck. "Yeah, uh, what Pol said. Try not to screw your romance up. Later." Castor hurried off after his twin.

Both Shea and Gabriel had been whispering while the others had said their goodbyes, but they smiled at Fred.

"So, dear, sweet baby brother," said Shea, "it worked out for you somehow. I'm going to take my credit, and I'll see you later for your goodbye with your little mortal charge." She patted his cheek. "Just give me a shout. Gabe and I will be fucking each other blind in the meantime." She winked at her brother as she took Gabriel's hand. "Come on, Handsome."

"Of course. Good luck, Lorcan." Gabriel grinned and the two of them disappeared, leaving Fred alone with his parents.

His father's expression remained unreadable, yet intense and Fred suddenly dreaded what he might say. Tonight had been the biggest fuck up of his life and his father hadn't said much. A few jokes and a supportive comment didn't mean he wasn't furious. He could be stewing, ready to blow, and Fred wished he had some place he could run away to like his siblings.

Nervously, Fred tapped his fingers against his thighs and stared at the floor. Maybe if he didn't speak first things might go better for once...

Calliope looked at her husband, who stood ramrod straight, and then at their fidgeting son who was too afraid to make eye contact. She sighed. "I would leave you alone to talk, because you really should, but if I did that, I might find myself down a child."

Andras let out a long breath. "I wouldn't kill him, Calliope, even if I thought I could and get away with it."

Calliope rolled her eyes, looking just like her daughter. Tucking two fingers under Fred's chin, she tilted his face up to look in his eyes. "Well, Darling?"

Catching sight his mother's blue eyes made him crumble. "I'm sorry," he blurted out, hesitating a second before throwing his arms around her in a tight embrace.

Calliope hugged her son tightly, tears falling freely. "I know you are, my precious boy. I'm just glad you're home."

"I'm sorry it was so long," he whispered, shutting his eyes before he cried with her. "I missed you, Mum." Her embrace soothed him and he suddenly felt safe from every awful memory of tonight and strangely like he'd never left. "I'm sorry." He felt like he couldn't say the words enough.

She hushed him and rubbed circles on his back. "I know. I'm sorry things were so difficult and that you felt you couldn't be here. I missed you!"

Sniffling, Fred stepped back so he could look at his mother. "Well, guess you've got me here for a while." He smiled suddenly, a playfulness to it. "Are you shorter?" he asked.

Laughing, Calliope gently swatted her son. "You know very well I am the same height as when you left! Now, let me look at you! You're the one who's grown!" Her eyes took in the color of his hair, his face, and the fact that he was actually standing before her naked and had completely forgotten it. "You're so handsome!"

"I am?" Fred looked down at himself, then back at his mother. After being an imaginary friend for centuries, hearing someone declare him as handsome seemed strange. "Not a common thing people say about me. Usually it's 'fun' or 'gross.'" He laughed and tugged at a strand of his hair, trying to see the color of his natural hair again. He really needed to find a mirror.

"Of course you are! Just like your father!" She patted his cheek. "I can't believe my baby is grown, has finally come home, and is going to bring the love of his life home to live here! I'm so happy I could cry!" And she did.

Suppressing a smile, Andras stepped forward and took his wife in his arms. "It only took a crafty Fate, an ugly suit, and the entire family mopping up his messes to achieve that." He looked at his son. "The prodigal son returns."

Smiling, Fred watched his father in amazement. "I suppose you can finally win the 'I'm difficult' argument."

"If there was ever a doubt, running away from home for the better part of three centuries confirmed it."

Shaking his head, Fred reached out and patted his mother's shoulder as she cried, but he looked at his father. "Thanks, Dad," he said, quieter than he meant. He cleared his throat. "For your help. And for not killing me, but for the record, it was a great suit!"

Andras' stern expression changed into an amused one. "While I hate to admit it, you get it from me. When I was just a boy I wanted to be Santa Claus and drove my mother crazy with my fake beard and ho ho hoing."

"Get out! No way! You wanted to be the big, jolly fellow?" Fred's eyes widened in disbelief. "From a _mortal_ holiday?" He laughed. "Why's this the first I'm hearing of this?" Excitement rose in his voice as he fought against laughing himself to death at the thought of his father in that outfit with a fake pot belly. "Did you wear the suit?" He smirked.

"It was a long time ago," he said, rolling his eyes. "No, I didn't wear the suit. I had the beard, the hat, and a sack of toys."

Tilting his head, Fred couldn't resist asking, "Does that make me an elf?"

"If it did, you would be the most obnoxious elf in history who failed to listen to Santa," Andras said, glaring. "Unlike you, I put aside the fantasy and embraced what I am. You ran off trying to live a fantasy and broke your mother's heart."

"Darling!" Calliope gasped. "We're past that now!"

"Are we?" Andras asked, looking right into Fred's eyes.

His father's words stung more than Fred wanted to admit and for a moment he could only stare back. He'd broken his mother's heart?

 _What kind of monster breaks their mother's heart?_

"Well, clearly," Fred answered. "You heard the doctor. I'm almost 'natural' again." The words tasted bitter. A part of him still wished to fight accepting his true nature, but a very confusing part of him wanted to let it happen. He was tired of fighting himself, tired of running, and tired of hurting the ones he loved. _Including Snotface._

"How else can I be with Lizzie if I'm not past it?" he asked. Fred took his mother's hand. "I didn't realize I hurt you… Hurt everyone, actually. I'm pretty crap at this, aren't I? I really am sorry for all of it. Truly. And I won't disappear on you again, Mum. Promise." He met her eyes and hoped she felt how deeply he meant every word.

"And yet I can feel your distaste from here," Andras said, shaking his head. "We are your parents. We know what you're feeling. You're still too new to your powers to hide what you're feeling from anyone." Andras sighed. "You're becoming more comfortable, since that Fate-cursed suit was destroyed, but you're still fighting what you are. We want you to be happy."

Fred didn't like his father's apt words, but he couldn't help but feel agitated at himself for not having control of his powers either. He stepped back from his mother and crossed his arms.

Andras released his wife and began pacing. "I was hoping this trial and finding that you're meant to be with Lizzie would've given you an epiphany and you'd fully embrace who you are, but you're still fighting it!" He stopped and stared at his son, who winced. "Lorcan, I hope seeing the damage your stubbornness caused makes you-"

Grabbing his own hair and grimacing in an imitation of his son, Andras growled. "I don't want to lecture you! I just want you to see the gift the Fates gave you and make you appreciate it. Really appreciate it. You're an incubus and that in itself is a gift!"

"A gift?" Fred's eyebrows rose as he took in his father's kinder words toward him. Had Felicia been right about him not hating his guts? _Fuck, my whole world's topsy turvy. Must be Halloween voodoo._ "Being an incubus?" He chuckled, shaking his head as he was at a loss for words. Nothing felt normal anymore.

"Fine. I'm fighting it, but so what? I've spent part of the night thinking I'd hurt Lizzie because of being lilin, then I got charged with, well everything, really, I lost the job I loved because of it, and then I'm warned over and _over_ again that what I am might kill my own soulmate! Or make her insane. Can you blame me for still holding back? I just…" His voice broke with emotion and he had to stop. He refused to lose it again; he was still Drop Dead Fred.

Touching his chest where he felt Lizzie, he took a few deep breaths and tried again. "I think of Lizzie as a gift. I do. And I'm shocked and ecstatic she's mine, but I have trouble liking what I am when I know it can hurt the one I'm supposed to be with forever. And when I was in her dream, I caught her dreamin' of me saying I'd give it all up and become _human_ for her. I don't think she wants me like _this._ " He waved at himself and frowned. "Can you understand why I've still got a problem with being an incubus? I-"

He exhaled, afraid Lizzie might reject him, Fate or not, if he couldn't become human. Fred looked at his mother and her eyes so filled with love and patience. "It scares me. It actually scares me, and I feel weirder and differenter the longer I don't have the suit." Broken, he looked at his parents for answers and hoped his father would understand what he was going through for once.

"I can't fully understand it," Andras said, frowning. "This isn't about wanting to be an imaginary friend, or Santa Claus. You want to be something that you're not. Running away may have let you meet Lizzie and let her know you without knowing the true you, but this fear of hurting her wouldn't exist if you hadn't run away and denied your powers and who you are. If you would have learned, you would've been with her without fearing you'd make her crazy or kill her." Andras paced. "I don't know what Chloe was thinking, but she has this all planned out. It will work if she says it will, and your sister will kill, or drive everyone insane to make it happen."

 _Shea's already worked on driving me insane tonight_ , Fred thought as he remembered her merciless assault on his suit. _She does always have my back, though_ …

Fred sighed, fighting frustration that his parents couldn't fully understand him. "Yeah, but I'm happy Lizzie got to know me minus the lilin powers. I'd rather she really love me, and not just sex romping magical good times." He rolled his eyes and grimaced. _Stop thinking about that now._ "And like you said, I met her because of that suit. I wouldn't change any of it. She needed me growing up and again later on. She'd still be with that bastard ex if it wasn't for me! She didn't need an incubus. She needed a friend. She needed Drop Dead Fred."

Fred pouted, wondering if it would really work out between him and Lizzie. Asking her to change what she was for him was a lot, soulmates or not. Did it make him any better than the other people in her life who had made her change for them? "Although I could've gone without Chloe's diabolical tricks," he muttered.

"What she simply needed was you," said Calliope, "and, Darling, you say all that stuff now, but once you have a twenty-four hour sex romp with Lizzie you'll be singing another tune." She rolled her eyes. "Don't look at me like that. I've been having sex and helping mortals have sex for a millennium. Marathon sex romps are highly enjoyable."

"Mum!" Fred covered his ears, willing the images to die in a fiery death. "Fuck, now I'm picturing it! Ugh! Burn it!"

"Honestly! You can stand in front of everyone naked, but talking about sex makes you squeamish? You didn't get that from me!" She fixed Andras with a glare.

"Just because I wanted to be Father Christmas as an adolescent doesn't mean I made our child run from sex! You can't blame me for all of his issues!" Andras crossed his arms over his chest. "He's just a weird kid who is still going through his weird phase."

Fred smirked at his father, amused by his mother's remarks. "I'm not in a phase! I'm breaking the mold. Be boring to be just like everyone else, but… I don't know. Santa… Imaginary friend… Same difference, really, right?" He playfully crinkled his nose at his father.

Expecting a meltdown from her son when she reminded him he was naked, Calliope was shocked and pleasantly surprised that Fred not only ignored the subject, but he continued on as if she hadn't said it at all. She wanted to cry, sing, dance, and jump for joy, but instead chose to speak to her husband.

' _Andras!'_ she said through their link. ' _Did you see that! He didn't bat an eye, or so much as cringe! He must be changing like that snotty doctor said!'_

' _I did. Thank Bacchus those idiotic leprechaun powers are wearing off. Now, if he would just stop whining about sex, we'd have a normal son. Or as normal as he's ever going to get.'_

' _I could just cry! I hope he's back to his natural state soon! I need grandbabies!'_

Andras smiled at his wife. She was forever hounding all their children to procreate. ' _One step at a time, Love. We have to get him over the virgin hurdle first."_

' _He better get cracking! Bacchus' balls, I should have asked Chloe about my grandchildren! How many do you think they'll have?'_

Andras subtly shook his head at his wife. She was tenacious, but it was why he loved her. Looking at his son, Andras studied him. He was becoming more comfortable it was true, but those remnants of leprechaun magic still lingered.

"Lorcan, a job is not the same as one's identity. You would still be a lilin no matter what, and this is a phase. Longest fucking phase in the history of the universe, but a phase nonetheless."

Fred gulped. He knew his father referred to the leprechaun magic draining from him and he worried what he'd be like when it wore off. _Yeah, we'll see_ , he thought, refusing to admit his father might be right. He'd been through enough tonight. He needed to believe he'd still be himself. "Well, until tomorrow I'm not all lilin." He smiled. "And technically until Lizzie's changed, aren't I a bit human from this?" Fred tapped his chest. _If she changes_ , his mind reminded him.

"Stop being an obnoxious dumbass," Andras said, glaring at his son. "If you knew anything at all you'd know you're lilin no matter what you do and no magic, or piece of a mortal's soul, can change that. Now stop dicking around and focus on what you must do next."

Fred rolled his eyes.

"Have you thought about your proposal, Dear?" Calliope asked, stepping forward. "You only get one chance to get it right. Letting her know that you love her and can make her orgasm with just a look will help."

Fred flushed from his head to his toes at the idea of doing that again to Lizzie. He'd really loved the way she looked when she came in the dream, and those sounds she'd made...

 _Fuck_.

He started pacing to fight off his temptations before they got the better of him. "I don't know." He shrugged. "Haven't had time, you know," he said, motioning at the room. "I… I just wanna see her again. I'll think of something."

"Darling, you can't wing these things!" Throwing her hands in the air Calliope paced alongside him. "This is true love! This is forever! You can't just waltz in and hope it goes well! I love you, Lorcan, but you're not that charming. Remy could get away with that, but not you. Now, what are you going to say to her?"

Fred blinked. Did his mother just sneak in a put down while comparing him to Remy? _Bloody hell_ , he thought. His mother rarely said anything negative to him and when she did, while she remained nice and gentle, she didn't mince words. "I've got my own style, Mum. I'm Fred. Lizzie'll be happy. Promise. I'm perfectly capable of saying the 'L' word to her." He slouched and tapped his foot. _I just don't think she's ready to hear it, or see my face._

Calliope slapped a hand to her forehead. "Minerva, give me strength." She stared at her son. "The 'L' word? The 'L' word?!" Her voice came perilously close to shattering glass. "You can't say 'love' to your own mother? How are you going to say it to the love of your life?" She looked at Andras. "You should've hugged him more!"

Andras sighed. "And there it is." He rolled his eyes, making her glare. "Calliope, the boy is fine. He just needs a little guidance." He looked at Fred. "I know you're still getting used to your nature, but no matter if you are lilin or human you should embrace feelings and honesty. We're honest by nature. There isn't a point in lying when everyone around you can tell exactly what you're feeling. From all I have read and heard about Lizzie, she wants honesty."

Fred grimaced, his father's words hitting him deeper than he'd expected. Lizzie did want honesty, especially after Charles and a life with the Megabitch. Unfortunately he wasn't great at being open about these sorts of feelings. He knew how to make others laugh, be overly dramatic, and express how much things offended or overjoyed him, but finding a way to tell Lizzie he loved her baffled him. All the feelings came on so strongly every time he'd thought about it that he often did something playful or antagonistic instead. Like sinking Janie's houseboat.

"So…" he said, casually, "you've read a lot about her?" He furrowed his brow, wanting to hear what the report about her said, after all, lilin were experts on figuring out what people wanted and needed. Fred didn't want to admit it, but he relished the help in this area right now.

"Yes, the O.L.A. keeps tabs on humans, and of course they're going to monitor one close to you." He crossed his arms. "I think you know what you need to do, but you're avoiding it for some reason. Why is that?"

A little voice inside his mind told him that he couldn't keep anything from his father and he'd never get back to Lizzie if he didn't give in. His mother wouldn't have it otherwise. Fred sighed. "Because I've tried to tell her before..." He frowned, apprehensive to divulge any more. He shrugged. "What… sorta things are in the report?" he asked, casually, shuffling his foot.

Waving a hand, Andras shrugged. "The report doesn't matter. You know her, and I think your brothers covered what matters in regards to her. I believe your sister also covered the manner in which you revealed your return to her." He sighed. "Wearing a fucking sheet," he muttered.

Smugly, Fred retorted, "There was no fucking in that sheet."

"Exactly, smartass! If you would have handled it right there would've been! What part of immortal sex being doesn't register with you?"

Fred rolled his eyes, his tongue hanging out as he moved his hand like it was talking. "Oh, pfft! So I don't shag on sight and ask questions later! You're always on me about sex! Even when I'm about to have it!"

Smacking Fred's hand to the side, he glared at his son. "Except you couldn't shag the one person you did want to have sex with! You couldn't even tell her how you really, truly felt! That's the sad part. You had your chance to show her how you felt and you resorted to child's games."

"Darling, I thought you weren't going to lecture," Calliope gently reminded him.

"Well, telling him anything calmly doesn't seem to sink in. He's-" Andras paused and looked at Fred. "What is it you say? 'I'm Drop Dead Fred!' How is that working out for you now?"

Fred's jaw dropped and he pointed at his father, but the words didn't come out. Growling, he paced, grabbed his hair, and tried again, but all he could think about was how his imaginary friend powers would be stripped from him tomorrow just like his suit.

"Ugh! You- you know that's not fair!" He stomped, having nothing but a pitiful tantrum left in him. "You're not blameless, ya know! You're the one who helped me become Drop Dead Fred! Yeah, that's right! Felicia told! And, and I can _so_ too tell Lizzie how I feel!"

He stomped again, green sparkles shaking from his hair and disappearing. "Whoa!" He jumped back, worry quickening his pulse. The leprechaun magic really was draining out of him for good. "Fucking hell, I'm leaking magic!"

Calliope looked at her son and over at her husband. She could feel both of their emotions and it was becoming overwhelming. Between their stubbornness and her son detoxing magic they were bound to come to blows. Straightening her shoulders, she pointed her finger at them, glaring.

"Both of you stop it! You're so much alike it makes me crazy! Imagine dealing with two of you! That's what the rest of us have to deal with when you're in the same room!" She took a deep breath and looked at Fred.

"Your father's right! You screwed up and couldn't close the deal. And as much as I am loathe to say this… it's very… well, frankly, I'm disappointed." She looked away, her lips trembling. "I love all of my children, but you are my favorite, Lorcan." She look at her son, eyes brimming with tears. "You're special. You have so much love in you, but you run from it. I know if you just open your heart you'll show Lizzie what a wonderful soulmate you'll be to her."

Nothing could have prepared Fred for the full force of his mother's disappointment and honest love for him. _Dammit!_ His chin quivered and he quickly covered it with his hand.

 _She's gonna bloody make me cry, too!_

Sniffling, Fred trembled as her emotions washed through him, stronger than ever without the suit to deaden his lilin senses. He couldn't believe he held such a place in his mother's heart, especially after all he put her through. He should have come back and seen her. All she did was love him.

"Mum…" he whispered, a soft crack in his voice. Her love for him was so strong that he couldn't push it away to hide in his guilt. "It's…" Meeting her eyes, he felt his senses opening up. Not only did he feel his mother's emotions, but his father's, and some of the lingering essences of those who had been in the room. Strongest of all, though, was Lizzie's resting inside his chest and the draw to be one with her. He couldn't breathe for a second.

 _Fuck, that quack was right! I am changing back._

Taking several breaths, Fred managed to speak. "I love you," he said, the words easily slipping out now. "I love you, and Shea, and Dad, and everyone, okay, and I hated being away from all of you!" Confused, he looked between the floor and his mother's gaze. "Fuck, everything feels like it's in stereo all of a sudden…" He shook his head, another set of green sparks falling from his unruly hair.

Clasping her hands together, Calliope smiled at her son. "I love you, too, Baby! I'm so proud to see how much you've grown! I know you'll sweep Lizzie off her feet!" She looked at Andras. "See! That unnatural magic is leaving and he's fine!"

Andras rolled his eyes. "I don't know if I'd go that far, Calliope."

"He is! Stop being so negative! It's counterproductive!"

"Yes, Dear," Andras said, grinning. He looked at Fred. "Well, you can say 'love' to us. Can you say it to her?"

Fred let out a short laugh. "Have I been able to hold in much of anything tonight?" He crossed his arms and rolled his eyes, but he smiled. "Yes," he said, emphasizing the 's', "I can manage it."

 _What could go wrong? Only everything._

Grinning, Andras held back his laughter. "Alright, since you're a fount of declarations, how are you going to explain to Lizzie that you're soulmates?"

"What, you want a blueprint?"

"If I thought you could write, I might," he said, smiling. "No. I just want to know that you're not going to write that you love her in snot, or play her a song with your armpit."

Fred jutted his jaw, frowning. "That was a hit when she was small," he said, cracking a smile at the end. He sighed. "I promise nothing _silly_. It'll be the big, gushy, romanticalness that she loves." He couldn't help rolling his eyes.

"As long as there aren't romantic greens covered in salad dressing," Andras said, rolling his eyes. "Besides, if you screw it up your mother will never let you forget it."

"I would not do that!" Calliope said, putting her hands on her hips. "Stop being so negative!"

"She says that now, but her memory is long and her tongue is sharp." Andras winked at Fred.

Calliope snorted. "Now you're just being a smart ass!"

"You know, I kinda see where my brothers get it…" Fred said, tilting his head at his father.

"Our family is loud and sarcastic, and famous for it." Andras laughed.

"You mean infamous," Calliope retorted, rolling her eyes.

Smirking, Fred added, "Lizzie's gonna love it." He snapped his fingers. "Which reminds me… I think I owe you an answer to something," he said to his mother, motioning with his finger for her to step closer.

"It better not be a wet willy," she said, stepping forward.

He laughed sharply. "No. I'd be a lot more discreet about that. Giving it away ruins the fun," he said, reaching out and placing his fingertips to his mother's temples. In his mind, he imagined a memory of Lizzie smiling at him from earlier that night, her face in vivid detail, and sent it into his mother's mind. "Thought you'd wanna see what Lizzie looks like?" He rose his brows at her and grinned.

Smiling at the image, Calliope touched Fred's cheek. "She's beautiful. You're going to have gorgeous children!"

Fred went red and stammered. "Mum! Calm down, she's not even lilin yet!"

"Nothing wrong with planning ahead," she said, smiling wider.

"Mum, you've been planning ahead since before I was conceived." His nose wrinkled.

"Well, I'm no Fate, but of course I'd plan for all my children, and grandchildren, and great grandchildren, and-"

"Calliope, slow down. You might make him faint," Andras said, laughing at the stunned look on Fred's face.

"Maybe… Maybe you should bug whoever it is the Fates have next in line first," he said, hoping that got him off the baby radar for a while.

"No! I want to know about the mother of my grandchildren!" Calliope said, grabbing his hands.

Fred might have fallen over had his mother not latched onto him. He laughed, nervously at his mother and the half-crazed look in her eyes.

 _She's kinda scary about this… Fuck, I hope Lizzie wants kids for all our sakes._

"What?" he asked. "Didn't you read the cheat sheet about her from O.L.A.?"

Rolling her eyes, Calliope tugged on his hands. "No! Those aren't helpful! I want to hear all about her from you! Now, tell me everything, and don't leave a single thing out!"

"Alright, alright! God, you're pushy!" Taking a long look at his parents, Fred took a deep breath and started from the day he met Lizzie.


	8. Chapter 8: Drop Dead Fred

**Authors' Notes** **:**

 **zombierose3** **:** I decided to break post this bit so you get an update while we edit the rest of this. :) I'm sorry it's short.

 **** Disclaimers: **We don't own Drop Dead Fred, or Alice in Wonderland.

* * *

 **Chapter Eight**

 _Drop Dead Fred_

(The next morning...)

Fred frowned sullenly as he looked around Jessica's living room, hesitant to go upstairs. After Lizzie, he'd promised himself he wouldn't end up in this situation again. _But here I am_ , he thought. _Failing another kid. Spectacularly. Can't even tell her why. Such bollocks._

He sighed, heavy with grief. _So, this is my last day as an imaginary friend… and my last charge. No more kiddies. No more games. No more Fred._ It almost didn't feel real. What killed him most about everything was that unlike Lizzie, he wouldn't get a second chance with Jessica if his leaving irreversibly damaged her. He hoped she'd buy the story his mother had helped him concoct last night, after all, he did care about his little friend.

Looking down at himself, Fred scowled at his solid, black suit. It resembled his old one in shape and style, but thanks to his lilin powers, he couldn't add any color. Outside of dreams his magic had limitations and the last of the leprechaun magic had left him hours ago. He was entirely lilin now.

"You waiting here?" he asked Shea, without looking at her.

She nodded at his back. "I'll just be here. You probably want to talk to her yourself." Her emotions swirled within her as much as his did. While she felt elation at having her brother back, she felt guilty that he had to give up something he loved. Shea felt the same emotions reflected in Fred. Guilt at leaving his little friend and also sadness.

Mentally stomping on her guilt, Shea told herself this was for the best.

Fred nodded, feeling on edge. Everything felt so different now, so much so, he didn't recognize his own wants and needs, and he didn't know how to feel. His life had been exactly how he'd wanted it: carefree, innocent, spontaneous, and, most importantly, in the human world. He'd known it was the closest he'd get to the life he'd wanted, the one away from what he was, but then Lizzie had shattered his carefully built world. She'd made him exactly what he really was - an incubus. And a part of him liked it. Fred didn't think he'd ever felt so happy and pissed off at the same time in his life.

"She's such a Snotface," he muttered to himself, forgetting for the moment that Shea stood behind him. The urge to hold Lizzie felt stronger here in the mortal world, and he craved to feel her heart beating against his chest, to breathe her in, and show her just how much she meant to him. He felt as though she was the only place he could ever find peace, and the distance gnawed at him. Did she feel it, too? Perhaps the unfinished soul-bond had made him delusional, but he swore he felt her reaching out for him.

Studying her brother, Shea felt his yearning for Lizzie. It reminded her of the bond between their parents. So much had changed for Fred in a short amount of time. The leprechaun magic had finally left and he was no longer the erratic mess he had been. He was now a regular lilin and ready to say goodbye to his old life.

Shea frowned. The Fates had a strange sense of humor. She was starting to think they were weirder than Fred. They had given him a soul-bond with a mortal; it didn't get stranger than that. Remembering that Lizzie had yet to learn about the soul-bond, Shea swallowed down a small bout of panic. _I can fix it_ , she promised herself. It was becoming her mantra.

"It'll be okay," she said absently. "Jessica will be in good hands."

Nodding again, Fred suddenly felt like getting his goodbye over with. After finally having a taste of what he'd denied himself for centuries, his untamed powers hadn't stayed satisfied for very long. Without the suit, he feared how much stronger his cravings might become. He wanted to get far away from here before his hunger grew from more than just a small rumble.

"Right, I'll try to make this quick," he said, vanishing in a swirl of black smoke and reappearing outside the door to Jessica's room. He found Namby Pamby standing before him, a meek smile on her lips.

"Hi, Fred," she said, waving her wand. Fred caught her pitying glance at his new suit.

"So, you're my replacement?" he asked, slouching.

"I volunteered."

"Hmm." Fred felt quiet, which was unusual for him, especially around his friend. "Jessica likes it when you tell her stories using shadow puppets at night," he said, somberly. "She loves to watch Planet of the Apes on weekends and she hates the ice cream man because he dented her bike. We usually try to make booby-traps when he comes 'round. And when she's sad, there's this spot on her nose that if you tickle it she starts to laugh."

Namby Pamby nodded, listening, but watching him with so much sadness that Fred felt pathetic.

"Ugh! Will you stop with that look!" he cried, flinging his arms out.

"I'm not giving you any look!" Namby Pamby insisted, placing her hand on her hip.

"Oh, yes you are! That googly, doe-eyed look someone gives to lost puppies at Christmas!"

In thought, Namby Pamby flicked her hand and tapped her wand against her lips. "Christmas puppy pity? Never heard of it. Is that like- Never mind. It's not that. Promise." She fidgeted with her wand, chewing her lip as she watched Fred.

 _Cripes, is she afraid of me now?_ he thought.

"You just… seem so different," she confessed.

"I'm not," he said, quickly. "I'm not different." Tugging at the front of his jacket, Fred stood taller with mock confidence. "See?"

Namby Pamby's mouth pulled up until it was crooked.

"Let's just get this over with," he said.

"If you say so."

Together, he and Namby Pamby re-materialized inside Jessica's bedroom. It was hard to ignore the change in his magic as his black smoke intermingled with her pink sparkles. _Yep. Definitely all lilin now,_ he thought, flexing his hands. He'd never liked the black. Too 'demony' in his opinion.

"Ready?" Namby Pamby asked, smiling at him as if nothing was out of the ordinary.

Rolling his eyes, Fred blew a raspberry and Namby Pamby jumped. That answer definitely summed everything up and he made it as loud as he wanted because Jessica couldn't hear or see them until they wanted.

Sulking, he watched his last charge asleep in her bed and snoring with a fury. She'd once again kicked the blankets off herself, a soft whistle escaping her stuffy nose with each exhale. He could tell she'd woken up while he'd been away and his guilt couldn't have been more crushing.

"Shit," he said, sighing heavily and shoving his hands in his pants' pockets.

Namby Pamby tilted her head. "Hmm? Where? I don't see any."

"It's not that kinda shit," he answered.

"Tsk, tsk. The mouth on you, then." Namby Pamby shook her head.

"It's known to be a problem." Fred nearly smiled, but nodded at Jessica. "See that?" In her arms, she clutched a ratty voodoo doll.

"What? A dolly? Are you scared she put a curse on you?" Namby Pamby giggled.

"It wasn't her," he mumbled, thinking about his life choices, but shaking it off. "She grabs that doll whenever her mother's been drinking. It's her protection." Fred frowned, remembering how they'd made it together one evening after her mother had forgotten to pick her up from school. Fred had helped walk her home and they'd found her mother passed out in Jessica's room. When Jessica had tried to wake her, her mother had struck her. Fred had been so pissed. He'd wanted to give Jessica something to help her feel braver and safe, especially when he knew he wouldn't be around forever.

Since then, Jessica had reached for that voodoo doll whenever she was scared or angry. It helped her believe she had some control in her life and something had definitely happened tonight. By the empty beer bottle resting on the nightstand, he guessed her mother had meandered in tonight while his life imploded for all of Lullabi to see. Jessica had needed him, and he hadn't even felt her call him...

"I'm gonna take good care of her, Fred," said Namby Pamby. She hesitated, but set her hand on his shoulder and squeezed. "Don't you worry."

Fred stepped away from her touch and sat on the edge of the bed. He studied the crayon drawings that hung on the wall above Jessica's headboard. The final memorial of his favorite, green suit and Fred suddenly had the sinking feeling these would be the last drawings any child ever drew of him. No more Drop Dead Fred.

"Fred?"

Startled, Fred looked at Namby Pamby as she made a chair appear out of sparks of pink magic and sat in front of him.

"Why didn't you ever tell us what you were?"

Fred wrung his hands and shrugged. "Because I didn't wanna be what I am."

"Oh…" Namby Pamby looked confused. Her pitying gaze had returned, but she tried hiding it with a smile. Fred really hated it.

"So…" he began, "guess I better wake Snot Whistle up and say my goodbyes…" As he stood up, Namby Pamby grabbed his arm and squeezed.

"Fred, wait."

"Why?"

"There's something I wanna say," she said. "We didn't get to say it during the trial."

"We? You the bloody Queen now?"

She swatted him with her wand.

"Ow!"

"Sometimes I feel surrounded by all you boys... Are you forgetting about us already?" she teased, smiling and placing her hands on her hips. "Why, it's me, Graggy, and Herman, of course!"

Fred's features softened. "Course not. We've been best mates for years."

"And we're all really sorry for what happened to you. We- That is I... I want you to know that you'll always be my friend, and to me you'll always be Drop Dead Fred."

Fred went quiet, awkwardness consuming him as the genuine promise of her words warmed his heart. _She really believes that, doesn't she?_

"Erm… th-thanks," he said, rubbing the back of his head. "But we both know the Drop Dead Fred bit's a load of rubbish now. It's over with." He frowned and looked at the floor, missing the stubborn flicker in Namby Pamby's eyes.

"So…" she said, her word hitting an awkward note. "That cute, little, crazy grownup from the shrink's office… You really love her, huh?"

"Turns out we're soulmates," said Fred.

Namby Pamby grinned. "Then… you'll get to see her again?"

"I will tonight," he said, unable to hide his smile, "but not really sure how it'll go."

"Why not?"

Fred winced. "It's a mess, really. Got a lot to explain. You know, plenty for her to scream about and run for the hills. Soulmate thing, apologies, accidents... That if we soul-bond she'll become lilin."

Gasping, Namby Pamby's hands flew up and covered her mouth. "No way!" she said through her palms. "You're gonna soul-bond with your crazy mortal?"

 _I hope so_ , he thought, rubbing his chest where he felt Lizzie. "Maybe. The Fates say so, anyway," he said, unsure how to discuss this with his old friend. Love was never a conversation he'd thought he'd have with an imaginary friend.

 _Things just keep getting weirder._

Bouncing with glee, Namby Pamby cooed. "Oooh, you're gonna get married and live happily-and-nakedly-ever-after with your Lizzie-kins?"

Fred flushed head to toe. With his eyes widened and his lips pursed so tightly, he appeared ready to blow steam, especially as Namby Pamby started singing.

"Fred and Lizzie sitting in a tree. K-I-S-S-I-N-G!" She flicked her wrist, waving her wand like a baton to her own beat.

"Oi! That's enough outta you!" Growling, Fred leapt up and tried to grab it.

"Not today, Freddy!" Cackling, Namby Pamby magicked out of his grasp and appeared in pink sparkles behind him. She quickly rapped him on the head with her wand and disappeared again just as he turned to pounce her.

"Too swift for you!" she called, waving at him from a shelf across the room. She'd shrunken to the size of a doll and kicked her little legs. Fred rolled his eyes, but his crooked and playful grin had returned.

"Going dolly on me ain't gonna stop me! I rip their heads off all day long. It's fun to launch them at the mailman." He picked his nose and flicked some snot at her. His leprechaun magic may have been gone, but his imaginary friend abilities still remained.

Watching in horror as the snot rocketed toward her tiny face, Namby Pamby squealed and flung herself off the shelf. Her short legs kicked as she floated downward, her tutu poofing out like an umbrella, resembling Alice falling down the rabbit hole.

Fred snorted with laughter. "That's what you get, you harpy!"

"Hmph!" Namby Pamby crossed her arms and before she hit the ground, she returned full size. For a moment she glared at Fred, but it quickly turned into a glowing smile.

"See? You're still you," she said, making Fred's laughter stop.

"Huh?"

She rolled her eyes. "Suited, or nude, you'll _always_ be Drop Dead Fred." Namby Pamby walked toward him. "I've been helping children longer than you and I know how to remind someone they're still themselves, thank you." She grinned, beyond pleased and sporting a know-it-all gleam in her eyes. "You're welcome!" she sang.

"Bugger me," said Fred, realizing that he'd just reacted as he always had. _I'm not gone?_ "I'm still Fred…" A creeping smile swept over his face and he laughed. "I'm still me!" Whooping, he danced around Namby Pamby and grabbed her hands, radiating energy. She laughed with him.

"See? I'm right! Now, stop moping. It's so boring and un-Fred-like."

"Pfft!" Fred let go of her hands, but he still grinned. "I'm never boring! I'm a delight!"

"Now that's the spirit!"

Chuckling, Fred said, "Thanks. Guess I'm a bit mixed up right now 'bout what's me and what's from the suit."

"It was always you, Fred," she said. "Now stop this, or I'll have to start calling you Dumbo, you silly boy. That suit was just your magic feather. You don't need it to be yourself."

"You're like the hundredth person to tell me that," he said. "And don't you dare call me Dumbo. My bottom's not big enough for me to be an elephant."

Namby Pamby blushed and started hysterically giggling. "Oh my goodness, I know! I saw most of it!" She covered her warm cheeks and Fred couldn't help laughing with her.

After a moment, the two of them quieted and stared at one another as two friends who knew they might never see one another again.

"I'll take good care of Jessica. You have my word," said Namby Pamby.

"I know. And you'll give her mum hell for me?"

"It's a promise, Freddy, and… I'm gonna miss ya. We all are." The quiver in her voice was undeniable.

Smiling, Fred looked down at the floor, not knowing what to say. Goodbyes were always hard for him.

Sensing his discomfort with her sentimentality, Namby Pamby leaned in and whispered, "And I'd like to add that, boy, am I glad you wore something today because- Whew! Any more giggling and I might've popped!" She grimaced, her eyes unfocused as a memory took her. "Again."

Fred snorted. "You really should have that looked at before we're velcroing all your bits together like Velcrohead!"

"Hmmph! I'm so fragile as that!" She tiptoed closer to him. "And, Fred?"

"Yeah?"

"You go and you make Lizzie the happiest grownup there ever was! Make her happier than rainbows!" Tears shone in Namby Pamby's eyes. "And don't think I won't be visiting! You two ever have children, I swear I'm gonna play with all of them and spoil them whether they need a friend or not!" She wiped her eyes, laughing to try and stop her tears.

Choking, Fred's eyes bugged. "S-Snotface and I having kids?" He tried to picture it, but he could barely imagine tomorrow at the moment. "I don't know about that. That'll make half of Lullabi dig graves just so they can dramatically roll over in 'em." Fred shared a grin with Namby Pamby before he turned to Jessica and shook her.

"Hey, Snot Whistle! Wake up!"


	9. Chapter 9: You Shook Me All Night Long

**Authors' Notes** **:**

 **We dedicate this chapter to one of our huge supporters, Sheryl, aka the Scottish bird! Thank you for all the lovely and hilarious notes and comments. Here's to you!**

 **zombierose3** **:** Getting closer to the moment you've been waiting for. :D

 **Unleashthewords** **:** Sorry for the delay! Hope you enjoy!

 **** Disclaimers: **We don't own Drop Dead Fred, Weekend at Bernie's, Dumbo, or _Sports Illustrated_ (obviously). We do not own "Pour Some Sugar On Me" by Def Leppard, "Push It" and "Let's Talk About Sex" by Salt-n-Pepa, "Nasty" by Janet Jackson, "Love Shack" by The B-52s, "I Touch Myself" by Divinyls, "Do You Wanna Touch Me" by Joan Jett, "I'm Too Sexy" by Right Said Fred, "All I Wanna Do Is Make Love To You" by Heart, or "Hot Stuff" by Donna Summer. We are not affiliated with Kenny G.

 **We do not own these songs either** **:**

Fred's sex mix tape: "Rub You The Right Way" by Johnny Gill, "If You Leave" by OMD

* * *

 **Chapter Nine**

 _You Shook Me All Night Long_

(Two hours later...)

* * *

Fred covered his face and groaned in the upstairs hallway. After what felt like a very long morning, his link with Jessica had finally closed and his imaginary friend powers had vanished along with it. He was almost relieved, because any longer and he might have collapsed.

Fred hadn't realized how different it would be working as an imaginary friend without the help of his green suit. He'd wanted to spend a few last happy moments with Jessica, entertaining her as he usually did, but using imaginary friend tricks had been trying on him. He actually felt wrecked from all the energy spent playing with her and Namby Pamby. Jessica had even complained about his performance and called his outfit boring.

While Fred agreed his new suit was awful, he was outraged by the remarks and put everything he had into impressing Jessica. Unfortunately in his weakened state from avoiding full feedings, and his newly awakened lilin nature, his lilin magic had dragged down his imaginary friend powers. The harder he'd used his magic, the more exhausted he'd become.

Of course, he'd refused to admit that to her or Namby Pamby and had pushed himself even harder, but now all he wanted to do was crumple to the floor and bemoan his existence.

Fred lingered, listening to Jessica's laughter from the other side of the door. A very bittersweet sound in his ears, like listening to a happier part of his life he couldn't be a part of anymore. She was happy, but leaving was harder than he'd imagined.

Jessica had quickly taken to Namby Pamby, thinking she was getting two imaginary friends, but her excitement had taken a dive when she'd realized he was leaving her.

She'd protested his goodbyes, tugged on his jacket, cried, and clung to him, but as their link faded, her heartache lessened. She'd laughed with Namby Pamby and joked with them both, and by the end of their play session she'd hardly noticed him at all.

While imaginary friend links always closed without notice or pain for the child, being forgotten always stuck with Fred. Jessica didn't need him anymore, like so many others, and he was glad for it, but empty inside. He couldn't ignore the loss. A hollow, loneliness followed it, leaving him listless and lost. He didn't get to forget, and unlike the real imaginary friends, he had to live with it.

 _Probably a consequence of being lilin._

Grimacing, Fred rubbed his chest where he felt Lizzie. The more exhausted he became, the stronger their unfinished soul-bond pulled at him, almost like it wanted to possess him - he certainly wanted to possess her. She had his body and soul aching to find her, to complete their bond, and his desire had him on edge.

"Ugh! How can she feel so wonderful and annoying all at once?!" Dropping his head back, he whined. "The moment you say yes I'm _so_ getting you back for this! You'll get a good seeing to, you adorable, snot-faced temptress. All ruddy night if I have to." Fred sulked and looked at his chest. He knew she couldn't hear him, but it helped. "You're impossible, you know." He sneered at Lizzie's sexually charged energy. "Nag, nag, nag. Well, we can't do it yet."

Rolling his eyes, Fred trudged downstairs because he felt too knackered to use his powers, but he paused as he felt the familiar energy of Remy in the living room. He followed it and found his brother talking with Shea, both of them buck naked and without a care. "Why are you here?" he interrupted them, his voice having an edge to it as he rubbed his aching head.

"You look like you were used as the dead body in _Weekend at Bernie's_ ," said Remy. Wrinkling his nose, he looked Fred up and down. "On second thought, the dead guy looked better than you do right now."

Tossing aside the Fleegman's family photo album, Shea hurried toward Fred. She examined his pale face and the dark circles under his eyes with growing concern. "You look like shit. You really need to recharge if you're going to talk to Lizzie tonight. Go with Remy. You have time for a quick stop before you get home."

"Is that what's wrong with me?" he asked, touching his head. "God, it never felt like this in the suit." He whined, tugging at his shirt collar, the fabric tight and confining. "I don't understand. I've always felt better after playing with kids… My head feels like it wants to split and I feel so fucking drained and miserable, and…" He cringed. "Horny."

"Welcome to motherhood," Shea said, laughing as he flipped her off. "I'd say have a bubble bath and a glass of wine, but we don't have time for that."

"I bet he'd feel better if he took off those clothes," added Remy, resulting in another glare from Fred.

Shea frowned at her youngest brother. He had so much to learn and they didn't have much time to teach him.

"You don't have that terrible-" She winced at Fred's face. "Uh, that suit; however fashionably impaired it was, suppressed your nature and helped you tap into the imaginary friend magic. It kept your natural magic from counteracting your play magic. Now your proper magic is fighting off the other magic and you're feeling it." Grabbing his face, she leaned in close. "You really need to feed. Add in a soul-bond, and of course you feel horny as hell." Shea gazed at him as if he was a child.

"You need a real feeding after playing house," said Remy. "Ready to do some adult playing?" He waggled his eyebrows at Fred.

"I'd rather smash something!" he answered, and mumbled, "And I didn't play house…"

They had.

Crossing his arms, Fred mulled over what Shea had said. It was as he thought, but he hated it. "I'm not in the mood for that sorta play," he lied. At least he could still be obstinate. No one could take that away from him. "I'm full."

Shea squeezed his face, drawing his focus. "Liar. Listen to your elders. You've been playing all morning, and not in the fun, naked, orgasm-inducing way." Fred whined, stomping his feet just as he had when he was a child and didn't get his way.

"But I don't wanna, Sis. Do I really have t' feed?"

Taking pity on him, Shea gently tucked his hair behind his ear and smiled with patience. "Lorcan, we have to sate our lusts, then we'll feel re-energized. It's part of our powers. We feed from others' desires, give it back, and the cycle goes on. You have to remember… the more you feed, the more powerful your gift, and if you expend a lot of energy, you need to put a lot back in. It's not about doing just enough, or whatever gets you through the day. You need to satisfy the desire, take in all the lust until you might burst, and then use your gift. We've always believed in giving back what we take."

Pouting, Fred gave Shea a pitiful look and another nasally whine. "Sounds exhausting!"

"Nope. Not doing what we're made to do is exhausting. It's our nature, so feeding for us has no adverse effects." She made a face. "I sound like Father, but it's true."

"Just need the beard," quipped Remy.

Ready with a smart remark, Shea paused when she saw a grin crack on Fred's face. At least he was smiling. "Ha. Ha," she said, rolling her eyes at Remy. _._

Clearing her throat, she continued, "Mortals might think this is the best job ever, but it's a duty, and we have to make sure we fulfill that duty. We have to take care of ourselves to do that. You've finally embraced your nature and this is instinct, but you need to remember that if you try to fight it, or not feed, it'll cause more problems. You could lose control again, so no more skipping meals. Okay?" Shea stroked his cheek as she used to do when he was little and came to her when he was sad. She hadn't realized until now how much she'd missed being his big sister, protecting and helping him. Some things never changed.

"This sex demon thing is so demanding." Fred scowled, but his sister's touch did quell some of his moodiness. She always did have a knack at comforting him. A sharp tongue sometimes, but great advice and a good heart. Still, he hated all these changes within himself. He just wanted his awful headache to leave and for the energetic high he normally had to come back. _And Lizzie._

"Sex demon thing? Really? Only you could find sex demanding," said Remy, rolling his eyes as he flipped through a magazine.

Fred didn't hear his brother because his thoughts remained on Lizzie, wondering what she was doing right now. He bet she was still in bed, her hair a mess and wearing one of her very Victorian nightgowns. Fred didn't need to see her to know she looked beautiful.

He imagined creeping into her room, leaning over her, and kissing her mouth to wake her. Her arms wrapped around him and she released a soft plea for him not to go. He promised her he wouldn't and her lips eagerly chased his as his hands reached beneath her nightgown, slipping along her bare skin until he touched-

Growling, Fred shook himself out of the fantasy. "Fuck! I can feel her from here and it's just so- UGH!"

Sharing a worried look with Remy, Shea took a deep breath. "See. I'm right. Listen to your sister. It's going to feel this way when you're in the mortal realm. She's closer." _And she's feeling the after effects of your magic and soul-bond, but I'll drop that bomb later_ , she thought to herself. She didn't need Fred crawling up the walls. "Go with Remy. If you eat, it should help."

"Yeah. I'll even find you a sassy brunette," Remy offered, undeniable worry on his face.

Fred pulled away and paced, tugging at his shirt collar again. His skin felt hot and prickly with want and every brush of his clothing's fabric made it worse. He wanted to feel skin on skin, Lizzie's skin; her body pressed against his and his length inside her as their souls entwined. He wanted it so badly he swore he felt her.

Sensing her brother's escalating libido, Shea quickly sent out her magic to bring him down as much as she could. "Lorcan, breathe," she said. Fred stumbled and grabbed the side of the couch, closing his eyes and gasping. His lust waned, but Shea still felt it simmering inside him, waiting. The doctors had been right, he wouldn't last long this way and she could only soothe him so much. Soul-bonds were more powerful than her.

 _'We're running out of time,'_ said Remy inside Shea's mind.

 _'Yes, but we're going to fix this.'_

 _'He's about to fuck the furniture! You better speak to his mortal today.'_

Shea nodded. _'And you better get him fed while I do.'_

Taking deep breaths, Fred opened his eyes and caught sight of himself in a full-length mirror hanging on the wall. "This… is me?" he asked, taken aback by his pallid and wan reflection. "Fuck, I do look like shit." Fred pulled at his cheeks and rubbed the circles under his eyes, tilting his head for a better look. "Like undead puke, really." Gnashing his teeth at the mirror, he suddenly froze.

His sickly state aside, he had changed. His red hair had darkened to the same shade as his father's and Remy's hair. His natural color, which he'd almost forgotten. It had changed the moment he'd put on the leprechaun suit and he never thought he'd see it again. "This is so… weird," he whispered, tugging at a strand and stepping back. This was him; the real him, and he didn't quite recognize that person.

"I've worn that suit for over two hundred years," he said, his voice eerily calm as he noticed he didn't slouch as he had in his old clothes. "Talked to no one but children, felt like one, and I didn't have to feed as much either... There were times I even completely forgot what I was, and then Lizzie just…" He sighed, shakily. "I… I don't think I know how to be this person you guys want me to be," he said, turning around to look at them. "It feels natural, but it also feels wrong. I've been Fred for longer than I've been him." He pointed at the mirror. "Everything's just gotten so intense, and fuck! My head!" He grabbed it and winced at the sharp pain between his eyes. "I feel like I'm in withdrawals, or something!"

"You are," said Remy, casual enough to hide his concerns.

Fred's mouth fell open. "Really?" He stared at him. "Fuck this! I hate it. Is this really what it's gonna be like? I've gotta constantly satisfy it, or I can't have a normal life? I'll be controlled by, by this lusty knob rocket?!" He pointed at his crotch. "This can't be how it is!"

"And here comes the backpedaling. Right on cue," said Remy, looking at his wrist as if he had a watch.

"Lorcan, it's just the withdrawals talking," said Shea. "Listen to me. You'll feel better once you've eaten." She offered him a sympathetic smile, but she felt panic rise in him. They needed him fed soon before another incident happened. The Fates couldn't save him from the council twice.

"But I don't _want_ to feed _that_ much! I know what happens. The more you feed, the more you want it, so basically I either lose control from not doing it enough, or lose myself in doing it, right?" He looked at his brother and sister, pleadingly. He needed help, he needed his siblings to tell him it would be alright, and he just prayed that Lizzie would make all this pain worth it. "I don't wanna lose who I am, Shea." Namby Pamby had shown him he was still himself, but clearly if he gave into his nature, that would be the end. He certainly wasn't himself now.

"Maybe if you stopped being such a bitchy whiner you'd hear what we're saying," Remy said through clenched teeth. He began pacing. "I can't deal with him when he's like this! It's like talking to a stupider, uglier version of me!"

Shea rolled her eyes. "So I get to deal with two bratty gingers? Thanks." She looked at Fred. "Lorcan, I love you, but if I had my book in my hand right now, I'd hit you with it." Shea struggled to keep her voice calm. Her patience was gone and she fought between sympathy and apathy. "What're you not understanding about what you are?" she asked. "Did you really think you could have the desires of our kind and not deal with the baggage that comes with it? Yes, you have to make hard choices. I honestly don't think it's a choice. It's acceptance." She stepped forward, looking up into his face.

"You _are_ this person." She gently turned him around. "You were _always_ this person, but you fought it. I understand that all of our ways don't appeal to you. No one said you had to sacrifice virgins, or have orgies every full moon. You can be monogamous with Lizzie. I don't understand why you want to romanticize humanity and demonize your own kind."

Yanking on his own hair, Remy's gaze met Fred's reflected stare. "Because he's a ball-less git who only thinks about himself!"

"Oi! Am not!" Fred cried. "Quit staring at me!"

"Shut it!" Shea yelled. "Both of you!"

Remy went back to his magazine and Fred looked down, not wanting to see his own reflection. However, he couldn't stop peeking at it. The image both scared and fascinated him too much...

Beside him, Shea watched her brother peer at his reflection. It seemed he was really seeing himself as he appeared to others. He was no longer a madman with unruly, red hair and an obnoxious, green suit. He was a different person with his black attire, darker hair, and despite the fatigue, there was a sophistication to him that had been absent before. Before he had been chaos incarnate, now it was all lust.

"I understand perfectly what I am, and if this is the real me, he looks like a complete bastard." Fred scowled, wanting to smash the glass in front of him so it would take the monster inside away with it. Both Shea and Remy groaned.

"Alright, I'm not a freaking mind reader," cried Shea. "What do you see that's so terrible? Please explain it to us."

From the mirror, Fred watched as Remy set his magazine down and stomped closer with interest.

 _Oh, bollocks_ , thought Fred. "Must we have so many heart to bloody, soppy hearts?" he exclaimed, flicking his wrist in exasperation. Both of his siblings shot him a glare that eerily channeled their father's disapproving features.

"Alright, alright!" he cried, huffing and turning to face them. He knew he owed them an honest explanation, but old habits were painful to break- as much as he loved breaking things.

"If you're gonna swoop in with Dad's face and all, I'll explain…" Fred grit his teeth and took a deep breath. "So, once upon a time, I fell in love with most everything to do with humans. I was a kid. They fascinated me cuz they always wanted more than what they were. They could do anything they liked, really. Be anyone they wanted. It wasn't set in stone they had to be slave to some carnal nature. Sure they had it, but they didn't need it. I envied them… So, anyway, blah, blah, skip forward a bit... One visit, I learned what we really are… Our true nature." Rubbing his chest over his soul-bond, Fred focused on Lizzie's soothing presence for strength. He'd give anything to have her here beside him right now. "Don't you know what they call us in this world, Sis?"

Shea listened as Fred waxed romantic about mortals and she let him. It seemed he needed to get something off his chest, but she wrinkled her nose at his question. "What? Usually it's, 'Oh God!'" She smiled, but he didn't seem amused at her humorous attempt. Shea sighed.

"We're not mortal, Lorcan. We have our own code, our own set of rules, and ideals. Some love the lust and the sex, and the fact that they're never tied down to anyone, or anything."

"Some are, in fact, tied down. With rope," Remy interjected.

"That's not helping. Be helpful," Shea said, glaring. Remy shrugged.

Rolling her eyes, Shea continued, "Some, like Mother and Father, are together, soul-bonded and committed for eternity. I do think that's rather romantic." She smiled. "What's your issue with us? That we don't die? Our lack of clothes? Castor's penchant for psychological torture? That we've been called 'demons?'" On the last suggestion, she felt the sting it left inside him and tilted her head with interest. Remy did the same.

Waving her hand as if she could bat the word away, Shea blew a raspberry. "That's some crazed mortal's explanation for something he didn't understand. We're not damned. We're not unholy creatures that crawled up from the bowels of Hell. We're just spirits who live in another plane and feed on lust."

"Wait-" Eyes wide, Fred clutched his chest. "We're _not_ demons? But... You mean, if I start shagging with Lizzie, and feeding regularly I'm not gonna go mad and turn into some raving, hot to trot monster?"

Unmoving, Shea stared open-mouthed at her brother. She tried processing his statement, waiting for him to break into laughter at her expense, but he was perfectly serious.

Dumbstruck, Remy grabbed Fred by the shoulders and looked him in the eye. "You're fucking serious. You thought that was going to happen?"

Fred slowly nodded, unsure if he should say any more. "Isn't it?"

Closing her mouth, Shea frowned, watching Fred in shocked confusion. She held up a finger, opened her mouth to speak, but giggled instead. She couldn't help it. It was the funniest and cutest thing she had ever heard. Her eyes watered and she nearly doubled over in her fit of laughter.

"This is priceless." Remy grinned and shook his head. "Wait 'til I tell Ade!" He cackled, his shoulders shaking as his laughter grew.

"Hey!" cried Fred. Had they gone mad? "What the bloody hell's so funny, hmm?" His voice hitched, cracking. "There's nothing funny about this!" Why wouldn't they stop? This was his darkest, deepest secret and his brother and sister had turned into hyenas. Insecurities flooded him and he glanced at his reflection. "Shea, I'm being serious, here!" His stance wavered, but he shook his finger at them, sternly. "Look, I don't wanna be a lust maniac!"

Shea moved her hands, trying to speak, but only cackled more.

"Ade says-" Remy laughed ever-harder. "Ade says you're an even bigger girl than he took you for!"

"Am not!" shouted Fred, ready to spit. "Ade's a barmy twat! And, oi! Quit laughin', you snitch!"

Remy howled with laughter the neighboring realms could hear.

"I-I'm- sorry!" Shea managed to say between fits of laughter. "It's just… I..." She broke into another fit of giggles and turned away, trying to get herself under control. While she felt bad for her brother, his confession was too much.

"Stop it! Get bloody ahold of yourself, woman! Ugh!" Fred grabbed his hair. "I swear if I made Jessica laugh this hard, milk would've shot out her nose, followed by the cow itself."

Gasping for breath, Shea fanned her face. "Bacchus' balls! I haven't laughed that much in a very long time." She took another deep breath, wiping her eyes. "You are you too much." Shea pursed her lips to keep another laugh from escaping. "I'm sorry! It's just… you really think we're demons?" She snorted and his eyes narrowed. "I'm sorry! It's just…" A small giggle escaped. "I'm sorry, really, but I can't believe you thought that this whole time."

"Thank Bacchus we're immortal," said Remy, taking a big breath and slowly exhaling. "I thought I'd bust a gut and die." Patting his bare and toned stomach, he grinned at Fred. "I take it back. This was worth probation. Where in all of fuckdom did you get that idea, anyway?"

Fred's brow furrowed in confusion. "Well, I... When I was a kid, Castor said we're insatiable demons who go mad with need of sex. He had me convinced if I gave into it I wouldn't care about anything else, or anyone! He told me the demon part would take over for good, and-" As soon as he'd said it aloud, the ridiculousness of that story finally struck him full force and Fred wanted to hit Castor even harder.

"That ruddy bastard!" he exclaimed. "He lied to me?" Dumbstruck, every story and taunt Castor had ever said to him flashed in his mind. The time he'd left him in the Catholic church after telling him priests exorcised their kind, the day Castor told him he never fed off the same mortal twice because he ate them, and the way he'd laughed when he said Mother and Father would only tell him the truth when it was too late. He'd never questioned it. Castor was horrible, but he never believed he was _that_ horrible.

 _I was wrong._

"I don't believe this! I, I left Lizzie in part because I worried I'd quit loving her if we- I thought the demon part would just take over. Just as he said! It… Oh god, are you saying that I left her for… for _nothing_?!" Fred's heart felt like it might careen out of his chest, everything spun. "How am I gonna explain this to her?"

Mouth open, Remy stared at Fred. "You're saying that our bastard older brother fed you some idiotic idea about what we are and it's left you this damaged for this long?"

"Well… um..." Fred fidgeted, feeling like an utter fool for believing anything from Castor's lips. "He was very convincing…"

"Lorcan!" Shea stared. "Why didn't you ever say anything? To us, or to Mother? We would've told you." She paced, wildly gesturing. "Why would you- Why would he-"

She stopped and locked eyes with Remy. He grinned and both siblings vanished in clouds of smoke. A moment later they returned with Castor struggling between them.

"It was just a joke!" Castor said, trying to get out of his siblings' hold.

"Not funny!" Shea yelled. "Now apologize, or I'll make you sorry in a whole other not fun, painful way!"

"Bacchus' hairy balls," he muttered. Castor looked at Fred, who stared in confusion. "I'm sorry I told you we're demons."

Remy gave Castor a shake, making him grimace.

"And I'm sorry I took you to that church and left you there," Castor quickly added.

"And!" Shea said, using her magic to squeeze Castor. He hissed in pain.

"I'm sorry for all of it!" he ground out, wincing. "I just got tired of you going on about mortals, and I was pissed off that Mom doted on you, okay? I'm an asshole! I'm sorry!"

Blinking, Fred couldn't believe what he'd just heard. Castor had apologized. For everything. His mind flashed back to all the centuries of hating himself and his nature, and of all the measures he'd taken to keep himself in check. Of how he'd left his family, starved himself, and abandoned Lizzie for all his fears. All of it was because of Castor's lie.

Fred thrummed with so much anger he felt like he might rocket through the ceiling. Balling his fists, he shouted, "Are you kidding me?! I've been- I- You scared me shitless and into a leprechaun suit because I _liked_ humans and you wanted _Mum's_ attention?! That's not- You're unbelievable- No! On second thought you were right on one thing! You _are_ a demon, you bloody bastard!" Fred paced, utterly beside himself. "I'm a three hundred and five year old virgin because he got jealous?! How am I supposed to explain this to Lizzie?"

"I'm sorry?" Castor said, fidgeting. At another painful squeeze from Shea, he groaned. "I mean, I am sorry. I didn't mean for it to go so far. After you ran, I wanted to tell you and then Mom was so upset… I didn't know what to do. Then you got your job and you seemed happy so I just let it drop."

Fred didn't want to hear Castor's apologies. He was so mad he wanted to explode just to take his brother out with him, but a sudden wave of guilt off Castor stopped him cold. Was that shame he felt? And sadness?

 _Bloody hell, that's powerful!_

Thrown, Fred sobered and took in his eldest brother's face. Though Castor avoided eye contact, Fred could feel he was legitimately sorry, even grieved. Castor had always kept himself guarded, but his every wall had fallen almost like he wanted him to feel it. Fred rolled his eyes. This made it so hard to stay mad at him, and he _really_ wanted to stay mad.

 _Why does he have to go and have emotions today? Typical. It's not fair._

Sighing, Fred said, "Alright, but this doesn't mean I'm not still pissed. Because I am, so don't forget that, but… I _guess_ I can forgive you. A little." _Never thought I'd see the day I'd pity Castor._ "And I guess," he added, pursing his lips as he fought to get his words out, "you did help lead me to Lizzie. In a roundabout and really weird and fucked up way."

Castor blinked at Fred. "You forgive me?"

"You do?" Remy and Shea echoed.

Fred grimaced and rubbed his temples. "Oi, the stereo."

Giving Fred a small smile, Castor rubbed the back of his neck. "Um, thanks. I know you're still pissed, and I deserve that, but thanks for forgiving me, even a little. I don't deserve it, but thanks all the same." Finally taking in Fred's appearance, Castor frowned. "You look like shit ran over twice." He looked over at Shea. "Are you guys going to get him fed, or what?"

Shea growled. "Don't change the subject! I never said I forgave you! You better watch it!"

"I said I was sorry!" Castor yelled as he pulled out of their grasp and hid behind Fred. "It all worked out, right?"

Pointing at Castor, Shea glared. "You say that now, but Mom and Dad don't know what you did! Prepare for Hell!"

Castor paled. "Bacchus… I'm so dead."

Remy grinned. "I'd start running. Maybe you'll find a place they don't know about."

"Not funny. I should go talk to them so they can hear it from me." Castor suddenly cringed. He looked at his siblings, shock on his face. "Who told? Mom's screaming at me in my head!" He winced. "Such colorful language. I better go." Castor vanished in a cloud of black.

"Well, that was fun and enlightening." Shea looked at Fred. "Seriously, Lorcan, you could've saved yourself a lot of heartache and all of us a huge headache." Sighing, she looked at Remy, who only shrugged. "I guess it worked out like it was supposed to. Those Fates are terrifying. And Chloe is so…"

"Hot?" Remy suggested.

Shea scowled. "Not what I was going to say, but she is rather gorgeous for an immortal being that controls the universe. I don't know whether to be turned on or frightened."

"Same," Remy said, nodding.

"Ugh. I never noticed how much you guys talk!" said Fred, holding his splitting head. "I swear even my ruddy teeth hurt." Stumbling, he leaned over the couch and groaned. Everything hurt and he felt more exhausted and sexually frustrated by the second.

"Alright, alright. I'll take you to get your evil desires fulfilled. Ready, Lucifer?" Remy grinned and slapped Fred's ass. "Let's go corrupt some mortals and feed on their flesh!"

Fred snapped upright and spun around. "Will you quit hittin' my ass!" _Especially since my twisted imagination makes me imagine Lizzie's done it._ Fred flushed, annoyed at himself beyond measure. _What the fuck's wrong with me?_

"Do you need a moment to masturbate? I can wait," Remy said, leering at Fred's crotch.

"Would you-" Fred gasped like he might inhale the room. His hands flew and covered his crotch. "Do you mind?!"

"Having trouble? I'll set the scene for you. Lizzie's warm, soft hands wrapped around your hard on, giving you a nice squeeze and tug." Waggling his eyebrows, Remy demonstrated the motion.

Fred's wild imagination already pictured Lizzie doing exactly as Remy suggested and his groin pulsed with a warm ache. Desperate to stop it, he focused all his anger from Castor on Remy to keep himself in check.

"Remy, I know how to masturbate!" Fred shouted, not realizing what he'd announced until it was too late. Groaning, Fred slapped and covered his face. "Just, stop giving me ideas right now. Please? I can't… take it." His voice had a pathetic whine to it. His resistance frayed and he wanted to disappear into the next room and wank himself blind to thoughts of Lizzie. Her hands sounded so inviting and heat pooled in his groin.

Dropping his hands, Fred looked at his brother and tried to pretend everything was normal. "Can we just go now and get this feeding over with? Please?" Fred winced as his trousers became tight and he held his hands in place to hide his growing problem.

Remy tapped a finger to his chin, pretending to think about it. "Well, since you're such an expert masturbator, I suppose we can go and help the little mortals get their orgasms on so you can have yours. If you think you can handle it."

"Stop torturing him and go already!" Shea said, gesturing at them to leave. "I have things to do! Get him filled with lust so he doesn't cum all over Lizzie when he finally sees her!"

Eyes wide, Fred bit his lip and whimpered. Without a word, he turned and walked down the hall. A door was heard shutting soon after he was out of his siblings' sight.

Remy looked over at Shea. "I'll be damned. He does know how to masturbate."

"I'd be more impressed if he would've just done it right here," Shea said.

"Baby steps, Shea."

* * *

Fred's clothes vanished in a swirl of black as soon as he entered the bathroom and he fell back against the door with a gasp. "Fuck… I didn't think I was gonna make it," he said, his skin prickling with desire as he ran his hand down his bare stomach and over his swollen cock. His tease made his hardness twitch with anticipation and he shivered. "Lizzie, oh I wish you were here." Eyes shut, Fred moaned at the pleasurable ache that throbbed for her touch and squeezed. "Fuck..."

Biting his lip, he stroked his length, unable to help himself. He wanted to give in, to come undone and be with her, and he mimicked the pace she'd used to work him in her dream. "Oh, yes," he whispered, consumed by their connection and his lust and love for her. "Just like that..." He groaned, squeezing himself at the tip and thrusting back into his fist. He couldn't get enough of the feeling, completely addicted to its spell as if it were Lizzie herself. "I love you so much!"

With labored breath, Fred opened his eyes at the pulse of pleasure that nearly pushed him over the edge. "Ah!" He hissed and froze, the throbbing in his cock like a heartbeat and the tension almost unbearable. "Fuck, not yet!" He didn't want to cum because he wasn't ready to leave this fantasy with Lizzie. He needed her, real or not. "God, I'm so hard I can't stand it…"

Groaning, Fred rubbed his aching balls for some relief, but noticed his reflection in the mirror. His eyes had changed. They were black and ringed in blue. He'd never seen it happen to himself before and he suddenly heard Lizzie's words from her dream.

 _'Your eyes. They're so intense. I need you. Now.'_

"Me too. I wish you were right here…" he whispered, his voice hoarse with desire. "I'd fuck you. Repeatedly. All night. I think you'd like that. I can feel it off you… Do you... even feel what I'm doing right now, Love?" He laughed and closed his eyes again. A very vivid image of Lizzie laying in her bed entered his mind. Sheets were tangled around her, but he could tell she was touching herself. Her body arched, her hips lifted, and she moaned his name. Fred didn't know if it were real, but he pretended it was because he'd never seen a more perfect sight.

"You're the most beautiful creature I've ever seen. And I can't believe you're mine!" He focused on the image of her so filled with desire and lust, so completely awash in euphoria. "Naughty Lizzie," he whispered with a smile as he thrust into his hand, desperate to feel her.

Using both hands, Fred stroked himself, his orgasm mounting quickly. His body burned with desire, his cock ached with sweet intensity, and his soul craved hers. "Lizzie… Oh, I need to be inside you before I lose my ruddy head." He replayed the dream in his mind, close to the edge. Her warm mouth on his, her body tightly pressed against him, and her hands stroking his hardness so needfully she'd sent him into ecstasy.

"Lizzie!" he whispered, head tilting back from another jolt of pleasure. He couldn't get enough of saying her name, its mention bringing him closer. "Fuck, I want you to touch me for real so much," he whispered, desperation etched his voice as he fervently stroked his length and pretended it was her hand. "Lizzie, I need you! I can't keep myself together much longer. I can't even keep my clothes. Look what you're- Oh!"

He shut his eyes, letting their connection wash over him. "Oh, you feel so good and you're not even here!" He shuddered, her presence warm like breath and teasing him just long enough to give him ideas. "This really isn't fair!"

Fred imagined and felt Lizzie trailing her delicate fingers over his body, exploring him, teasing him. He swore he could see her so vividly, her curious eyes watching him and her playful mouth grinning at what she could do to him. His hips thrust into his hand and he moaned, unable to hold back any longer. His pace quickened and he ached for release.

 _"Are you close?"_ he imagined her saying.

Fred nodded, panting.

 _"Are you going to cum with me?"_

Fred couldn't breathe. He swore he'd heard her and he came so intensely he dropped to his knees. "L-Lizzie! Fuck!" He gasped, holding his pulsing cock and trembling under the wake of his orgasm. He'd never felt anything like it and several minutes passed before he could focus on anything else.

"Shit… is that how it feels without the suit, or is it just our connection?" Fred fought to catch his breath, his pulse still struggling to settle. "I can barely see straight…"

Absently he laid his hand on his chest over their soul-bond and stroked it affectionately. "Miss you, Snotface… I hope this waiting's over soon." He smiled, noticing that her presence felt calmed and happier, too. _Weird_ , he thought, but shrugged and pushed himself to his feet. "Well, at least she's having a better day."

Glancing down, Fred noticed the evidence of his lusty session all over his hands and the floor. He made a face. "Hmm. I made a right mess, didn't I?" He laughed and tapped their soul-bond with his finger. "Your influence, Snotface."

Flicking his wrist, his magic vanished the evidence as if it never happened and he smiled. "Love that trick."

Opening the door, Fred headed back to the living room. He kept his eyes on the ground and scratched the back of his head, trying to appear as casual as possible. "Sorry… um, thought I heard something."

Remy and Shea stared in silence, taking in Fred's nakedness.

 _'I'll be a horned sex demon,'_ Remy said to Shea in her head.

 _'I'm so proud, I could cry!'_ Shea said back to him.

 _'Ovation?'_

 _'Damn straight.'_

Together they began clapping and cheering. "Bravo!" "Excellent work!"

Red-faced, Fred bit down his embarrassment and rolled his eyes. "Alright, there! Told you I knew how to masturbate!"

Slapping a hand on Fred's back, Remy laughed. "I'm proud of you! Walking in to face your big bro and sis after masturbating to the image of your soulmate. And in your natural attire. Baby Brother's growing up." Pretending to wipe away tears, Remy let out a sniffle.

"Oh, ha, HA!" Fred said, sneering, but suddenly realized he'd forgotten to magic himself new clothes. "Huh… That's weird… I didn't even notice that..." Fred's brow furrowed as he looked down at himself and he was struck with not knowing what to do. Why didn't his nakedness bother him? It should bother him.

Shea stepped closer. She wanted to encourage him, but she didn't want him to freak out.

"Lorcan, I- I'm really proud of you. I hope this shows you that being yourself isn't bad." She smiled softly at him. "No horns." She ruffled his hair.

Cracking a crooked smile, Fred stroked his sister's hair. "Just one in the bathroom, but I took care of it." He snorted, surprised by his joking, but it felt good. "Thanks."

Blinking, Shea stared at Fred and his relaxed attitude. "I- So, you're not going to freak out?" She winced, bracing herself for him to panic and go into a meltdown.

Pursing his lips, Fred tapped his chin. "Hmm." He shook his head and smiled at Shea. "Nah. I'm good. Unless of course, you want me to?"

"To be honest, I think I only know how to handle manic, sex-hating you. Calm, sex-crazed you is kinda freaking me out." Shea looked over at Remy. "What am I supposed to do with this?"

"Uh, if you love him, set him free?" Remy said, scratching his head. "Calm Lorcan is kinda freaky." Remy stepped up to Fred, thrusting his face right up to his. "Who are you? Have you possessed my brother?"

Fred poked Remy in his side. "I am your brother!" he cried, but he paused and smirked. "Or am I? We'll just have to wait and see." He laughed and wiggled his eyebrows.

Smacking him upside the head, Remy laughed. Looking over at Shea, he grinned. "It's him. No one else makes jokes as bad as Baby Brother."

"Hey!" He rubbed his head. "I'm funny! You've just got no taste."

"With the exception of women, you both have questionable taste," answered Shea. "Now, take him before he makes another terrible joke." She glared at Remy, but winked at Fred.

Fred rolled his eyes while smiling at his sister. "You're lucky I love ya." Crossing his arms, he turned to Remy. "So, where are you taking me for this feeding?" he asked. "Because I'd like to get back to my soulmate. And quickly."

"Come on! Why am I getting no love here?" Remy pointed at himself, acting wounded. "I was always on your side, Shea. Team no green suit!" When Shea only stared at him, Remy sighed. "So, it's pick on Remy day? Whatever. I'll go where I'm appreciated and treated like the sex god I am. To the strip club! It's a fun place, and I get VIP seating," he said, grinning. "And if I get you a special booth, you can masturbate all you want."

"It better have curtains. As great as I am, I refuse to be part of the show," Fred replied, sighing. Unfortunately, refusing to engage in any sexual acts when he fed left him needing a release from the excess of lust inside him. _This is gonna be a very long day without Lizzie_ , he thought. "Thanks for always finding me some privacy whenever we go out to eat, by the way."

"Never let it be said that Remy has no empathy for those who need to masturbate!" Remy posed with his hands on his hips. "I work for the good of all who masturbate! Ready to give your hand and cock a workout?"

"Pfft. So long as it doesn't fall off." Fred smirked.

"Castor told me my dick would fall off if I masturbated too much. Evil bastard. Luckily Dad heard that one and saved me from a life of no masturbating." Remy shook his head. "We really need to pay Castor back for all his torture. But I digress."

Blinking, Fred looked at Shea. "Have Mum and Dad ever had Castor psychologically tested?" he asked. "Honestly, it's overdue. I vote we give him to Dr. Emil." Fred spun back to Remy and grinned. "And I'm all for payback."

Remy grinned. "Anyway, you can let Candy give your dick a workout. I guarantee it won't fall off and she'd give your pole a good cleaning." Remy laughed at Fred's expression. "You really are no fun. You need to at least stuff a bunch of ones down some thongs or garters. These girls work hard. Now, let's go." He disappeared and spoke in Fred's mind, ' _Just follow along.'_

 _'No thanks. Just save me a booth to wank. I'm saving myself for Lizzie,'_ he reminded his brother. Fred let out a loud whine and Shea patted his face. "The more we talk about this, the more I need to see Lizzie. I'm afraid I might pop soon."

"I'm off to speak with your Lizzie," said Shea, smiling. "Time for some girl talk. Have fun with Remy, and make sure you sate yourself, or you're not seeing her tonight. I mean it." She gave him a look until he nodded in agreement. "Good boy." Grinning, she disappeared in a swirl of black smoke.

"This waiting is killing me." Fred whined at the air. "And this is the _weirdest_ family reunion _ever_!" He sulked and looked once more at himself in the mirror. Turning sideways, he straightened his posture and even took a glance at his ass.

 _You know, maybe I don't look so bad after all… I hope Lizzie likes all the goods…_ Fred smirked, almost pridefully.

Remy reappeared right behind Fred and smacked his ass. "Come on, stop admiring yourself and let's go!" He vanished again, laughing. _Next time it could be Lizzie smacking that._

"Ah, fucking hell, Remy!" Fred screamed, holding his stinging arse. Every part of him reddened with embarrassment. "See! You are demon spawn!" He rubbed his poor cheeks, but the suggestion his brother left made his hunger stronger. "I wish he'd quit knowing everything. The things I do for love…" he muttered, vanishing in a cloud of black smoke.

* * *

 _(11 AM, Lizzie's bedroom a few moments before…)_

Waking in a tangle of sheets, Lizzie stared at the ceiling and wondered when she'd turned into some kind of harlot. Thinking about Fred in a non-imaginary friend kind of way had to mean she was finally cracking, or a very twisted individual.

Her sex life in college had been slightly experimental, if rather tame. She had always taken precautions and gotten regularly checked. She'd been just a regular, red-blooded woman with a healthy sex life.

Meeting Charles had changed her for the worse.

Surprisingly, thinking of her ex-husband didn't bring her the usual swirl of emotions followed by self-loathing and a desire to polish off a gallon of ice cream. Instead, she felt regret and a strong resolve to move on.

Her mind flashed to her dream and Fred looking at her the way no one else ever had. She recalled his eager mouth on her skin, his hands roaming her body, and his teasing words. Even now they teased her, igniting her desires, and making her core tighten. Lizzie felt herself grow wet and she whimpered softly. A small part of her wanted to feel embarrassed, but this new, apparently wanton side of her, only wanted relief.

Closing her eyes, Lizzie saw in her mind the two of them, their hands on each other and their bodies crushed together as their lust built to a sweet and almost painful high. Desperately they stroked each other, their breaths like one, and Lizzie squirmed on her bed as she remembered the feel of Fred's desire in her hands. Her sex immediately ached for him, throbbing with need, and Lizzie needed a release now.

Snaking her hand down her sweatpants and under the band of her underwear, she slipped her fingers over her sensitive flesh. The contact felt so good, she moaned.

Biting her lip, Lizzie pretended her fingers were Fred's as she teased her wet and aching flesh. She wanted him like no one else and Fred's words echoed in her mind.

 _"Bloody hell, don't stop!"_

Gasping, Lizzie swirled her fingers around her clit and gently tugged. The jolt of pleasure ran deep and her sex tightened.

"Dammit, I want you inside me!"

Moaning, she pushed her two fingers inside herself and bucked her hips, imagining him thrusting inside her. The idea only made her ache for him more.

"Fred, you're a bad influence," she whispered, shuddering as she pumped her fingers, moving faster.

She heard Fred's laughter as though he was in the room.

"You're such a tease." She could feel the pressure building, her core fluttering with heat, and her every breath became heavy. Release was close and she imagined- no she was sure he could feel it, like he was locked in this moment with her.

"Are you going to cum with me?" she asked, dipping her fingers in and out and bucking her hips, her movements almost frantic until...

"Oh, fuck!"

Her orgasm slammed into her. The wave of pleasure was just as intense as in her dream and she could have wept at how good it felt.

Ecstasy pulsed through her and an intense warmth spread through her chest that made her want to burst. Lizzie gasped, slowing her pace, as she rode out her sexual high.

Moments passed before she could open her eyes and she stared at the ceiling, out of breath.

"This should be wrong, but it feels too damn good to be bad." Her hips moved in a slow, easy pace as she felt another orgasm build.

"Yes, again. Again and again," she whispered.

Moving with more urgency, her breath quickened as she pumped her fingers inside herself. Her orgasm hit her, making her body shake. "God, yes!" Another smaller one rocked her and she gasped, arching off the bed. "Why is my sex life so good now that I'm single?"

Pulling her hand away, Lizzie lay spread eagle, still staring up at the ceiling. Her pulse pounded in her ears and the warm sensation in her chest remained strong. "What the hell is going on?"

Thinking back to Fred showing up last night and his confession, Lizzie's euphoria melted into confusion.

"Why?" she asked, curling against her pillow and burying her face against it. "Why am I reacting this way? People don't sleep with their sexless friends in dreams! It's not real! None of it was real!" Rolling onto her back, Lizzie sighed. "But it felt real. Really real." Her cheeks warmed.

Lizzie sat up, clutching her bed sheets to her chest. "Am I going crazy?"

Mercifully, the phone rang, interrupting her thoughts.

Bolting for the bathroom, Lizzie washed her hands, and hurried to the living room for the phone. "Hello?" Her voice came out breathless.

"Where are you?" asked Janie.

Lizzie blanched. "What do you mean 'where am I'? I'm home! You're calling me here!" Lizzie was glad for the distraction. It was safer.

"We had a brunch date. It's past ten. Are you okay? You sound, I don't know… flustered. Details."

Lizzie groaned. "Oh my God! I'm so sorry! I had a terrible night! Between my mother ruining Halloween and Fr- An annoying man knocking on my door, I went to bed late and then I… I slept badly…"

 _Please don't ask me any more questions._

"Well, your mother makes ruining things an art, but wait, wait. Hold it. You had a grown man knocking on your door late at night? What, was he trick or treating? Come on. Just come out and say it. How good was he? It won't hurt my feelings you missed our brunch. Only if you don't give me all the juicy details, that is." Her smile could be felt through the phone and Lizzie nearly squeaked.

"I-it wasn't a man! It was just a group of teenagers! I had to give them the rest of my candy to get them to leave! I don't know why you would think it was a man. No one is interested in me and I'm not ready to enter the dating pool. I just signed my divorce papers, Janie!"

"All the more reason to celebrate."

Lizzie felt her pulse slowly return to normal. "I- You're right. It's time to celebrate having no negative influences in my life." She thought of Fred and her dream and felt her face heat.

 _That's a different kind of bad influence_ , she thought.

"Huh. Alright, then. Answer this," Janie's voice hitched with intrigue. "Why are you so defensive? You're keeping something from me. Don't make me come out there."

Inside, Lizzie panicked. "Pfft! I am not! I barely slept, and you woke me up! I'm still trying to wake up! I haven't even had coffee yet!"

"Sounds like it. I know I always like my men before my joe," Janie quipped.

"Oh God." She ran her hand over her face. _This isn't going well._ "Um, it's still early. Why don't I meet you for brunch?"

"Well, I don't turn down food. Let's go. You pick the place, and I'll meet you there."

"Okay. There's a new place near the mall. I heard they have really good french toast and mimosas."

"Mmm, mimosas. I'm sold."

"Great! I'll see you in… thirty minutes."

"Sounds good. Don't trip and fall back into bed."

"No! I won't go back to bed! Um, see you soon! Bye!" Lizzie slammed the phone back on the receiver. "She is going to think I have lost it." Lizzie hurried to the bathroom to get ready. "What do I mean think? I have lost it!"

Twenty minutes later Lizzie was in her car driving to meet Janie at the restaurant. She looked at her hair that she had tried to tame and rolled her eyes. "Get it together," she told her reflection. Clicking the radio on, she tried to think of how to keep Janie from asking more questions.

The perky radio DJ's voice filled the car. "Good day, Minnesota! You're tuning in to our top ten songs that'll get you shaking! At number nine, here's the Divinyls' 'I Touch Myself'!"

A squeak escaped Lizzie as the intro played and she wanted to sink down in her seat and hide.

"I love myself, I want you to love me.

When I feel down, I want you above me.

I search myself, I want you to find me.

I forget myself, I want you to remind me.

I don't want anybody else.

When I think about you, I touch myself.

I don't want anybody else, oh no, oh no-"

Jabbing a button, Lizzie changed the station before she burst into blames.

"Let's talk about sex, baby!

Let's talk about you and me!

Let's talk about all the good things and the bad things that may be!"

"AH!" She jabbed another button on the radio. "Can't they just play Kenny G?"

Another rock ballad began to play and Lizzie gripped the steering wheel so tightly her knuckles whitened.

"All I wanna do is make love to you.

One night of love was all we knew.

All I wanna do is make love to you.

I've got lovin' arms to hold on to-"

"Oh, for fu-" She hit the button again. "I swear if they play one more…"

"We're in the middle of our rock hour! Here's one from Joan Jett and the Blackhearts!"

"Finally," Lizzie murmured, tapping her fingers on the steering wheel.

"We've been here too long.

Tryin' to get along.

Pretendin' that you're oh-so shy.

I'm a natural ma'am.

Doin' all I can.

My temperature is runnin' high.

Cry at night.

No one in sight.

An' we got so much to share.

Talking's fine.

If you got the time.

But I ain't got the time to spare.

Yeah.

Do you wanna touch (yeah).

Do you wanna touch (yeah).

Do you wanna touch me there, where-"

Lizzie had been singing along without realizing what she'd been saying until the chorus began and caught up to her brain.

Groaning, Lizzie ran a hand over her face and stopped at a four way stop. Leaning out her window, she looked at the sky and shouted, "What are you telling me, universe? Are you trying to shame me? I don't think I have any shame after having sex dreams about the man that used to be my imaginary friend! I have zero shame!"

Feeling eyes on her, Lizzie looked to her right and saw a car had pulled up in the lane next to her and the little, old woman in the huge Buick stared at her.

"I blame you, Fred!" Lizzie said through clenched teeth. She turned the radio off and drove on. "Speaking of! How do I know you're not doing this? It would be so like you!"

The light at the next intersection turned red and Lizzie stopped before the crosswalk, still ranting. "This isn't funny, Fred! You are in big trouble!"

As she waited for the light to turn green, a man walked across the crosswalk wearing a bright, green sweatshirt. Lizzie did a double take, her heart skipping before she realized it wasn't Fred.

"I bet you planned that, too!"

The light changed, but she didn't accelerate. The car behind her honked, making her jump. Realizing the light was green she stepped on the gas pedal.

"I'm sorry," she said as if the person behind her could hear her. "I'm sorry I'm a wreck because I fantasized that I had sex with my imaginary friend and I'm going nuts."

Fred's voice from her dream came back to her. _"It's not fair to be so close to you, so connected and not inside you. I'd love to know what it's like."_

Lizzie could almost feel his lips on her skin, his warm breath blowing in her ear.

Squeezing her thighs together, Lizzie noticed the wetness in her panties.

"Stop it, Lizzie! Control yourself, it was just a dream, and-"

Realizing she missed the driveway for the restaurant, Lizzie smacked the steering wheel with her palm.

"Damn it, Fred!"

Finding another street, she made a U-turn and turned into the parking lot.

"I'm late and I'm going insane," she muttered as she pulled her car into an empty space.

Turning off the engine, she looked at herself in the rear-view mirror, wondering if the crazy was visible to everyone, or if it was just her.

Another car pulled up next to her, a song blaring through the open window.

"Listen! Red light, yellow light, green-a-light go!

Crazy little woman in a one man show.

Mirror queen, mannequin, rhythm of love.

Sweet dream, saccharine, loosen up.

Loosen up.

You gotta squeeze a little, squeeze a little.

Tease a little more.

Easy operator come a knockin' on my door.

Sometime, anytime, sugar me sweet.

Little miss innocent sugar me, yeah, yeah.

Give a little more."

Lizzie banged her head against the steering wheel, cursing her luck. The driver, oblivious to her pain, turned the music up and began singing along.

"Pour some sugar on me.

Ooh, in the name of love.

Pour some sugar on me.

C'mon, fire me up.

Pour your sugar on me.

I can't get enough."

"Why is everyone conspiring against me?" Sighing, Lizzie sat up, grabbed her keys and got out of the car, glaring at the clueless karaoke driver.

Stomping off, Lizzie made it halfway before she realized she didn't have her purse. "Of course."

Running back, she unlocked her car, grabbed her purse, and slammed the car door. Just as she tried to leave, the karaoke driver got out of her car and sashayed her way over to Lizzie.

"Don't ya just love Def Leppard? They're so hot!"

Nodding, because she couldn't form words, Lizzie stared at the blonde in the pink, spandex outfit.

"They're so awesome. Always gets me going." The blonde laughed. "Those Salt-n-Pepa ladies are good, too. Push it! Push it real good."

Shaking her hips, the blonde bumped Lizzie with her ample hips, knocking her off balance. Lizzie squeaked, but caught herself, clutching her purse tighter. _Thanks, universe._

"You here for brunch, too?" asked the blonde."You look like you could use a drink, girl. Maybe a little s-e-x." She giggled.

Opening her mouth, Lizzie tried to say something, but changed her mind.

"Is it man trouble?" The blonde looked concerned. "Honey, men aren't worth the stress. You need to get him out of your system. A pitcher of mimosas, maybe some aerobics. And if that doesn't work, just find a hot guy for some hot getting over your ex sex."

They had reached the door to the restaurant and the blonde opened it, letting Lizzie through. "It'll get better, girl. Stay strong." The blonde strutted over to another equally coiffed blonde and sat at the table.

 _What was that?_

Still in a daze, Lizzie saw Janie at a table and hurried over before anything else happened. "Hi! Sorry I'm late. Uh, traffic and… uh, I missed my turn."

Janie cocked her head and smiled, giving a slow nod. "Right. Rush hour must've hit the parking lot five minutes after I pulled in." Smirking, she picked up her glass of water and took a sip, keeping her eyes on Lizzie the whole time.

Lizzie laughed, but it sounded high pitched even to her. "There's… construction. Near my apartment. It took awhile." She tore her gaze away from Janie. "I need a drink. Where's the waiter?" She searched the room so she wouldn't have to look at Janie.

"Over there," she said, pointing to a tall, red-haired man. She snapped her fingers at him.

Lizzie gasped, but it sounded like a choke. "Who? What? Uh…" She caught Janie looking at her in bemusement and Lizzie cleared her throat. "Waiter!"

The waiter turned around, and to her immense relief, it was not Drop Dead Fred. He was younger with a much thinner face and wide, brown eyes. He came over, smiling politely.

"Yes, Miss?"

"I'd like to get a mimosa, if I could, please?"

"Of course. Anything for you, Miss?" He looked expectantly at Janie.

"The same," she said. "And maybe a camera because my, do you look delicious." Janie winked. "And I want to remember."

The waiter blinked in surprise, but grinned. "I'm sorry, Miss. I don't have a camera. Maybe you'd like my number instead." He winked. "I'll get your drinks. If you need anything else, I'm Frederick." He smiled seductively and walked away.

Lizzie had been shaking her head at Janie's flirtatious encounter with their waiter until he said his name. Her eyes nearly popped out of her head. Groaning, she covered her face with her hands. "The universe hates me."

Janie's eyebrows shot up. "Bad night, huh?" Her finger circled the rim of her water glass. "I was just teasing. If you want him, I can call him back, Hon."

Lizzie dropped her hands and leaned forward. "This isn't funny, Janie. I think I'm going to have a nervous breakdown!" She hissed, trying not to shout.

"Alright, I'm here. What's up?" Janie asked, leaning forward in concern. She hadn't seen Lizzie look this shaken since the Annabella incident.

Lizzie blushed, thinking of her dream. "I had a visitor last night, but it wasn't teenagers trick or treating."

"You're kinda worrying me now. Is this something I gotta call the cops over? What happened?"

Taking a deep breath, Lizzie prepared to spill her guts. It was better to just say it fast, kind of like ripping off a bandage.

"Drop Fred Dead came back and told me he's an incubus that feeds off sex, and I dreamt that we almost had ridiculously hot sex, and now I can't even think straight, and I think Fred's following me everywhere!" It all spilled out in a rush, but she felt mildly relieved to have it out in the open.

Janie's eyes widened in disbelief before she rolled her head back and cackled loud. "Oh. Oh god, Lizzie." She placed her hand on her chest as she tried to get her breath, but she couldn't, submitting again to another fit of laughter that filled the entire restaurant. "I'm, I'm sorry," she said, wiping tears. "That's just… Oh god, where is that drink?"

Lizzie slouched in her chair, overly aware of all the people at nearby tables looking their way. "Janie!" She hissed, both mortified and upset. "This is serious! This isn't funny!"

"Alright." She choked, patting her chest. "So, your imaginary friend is back… Drop Dead Fred? The crazy one who loves to play pranks? How do you know he wasn't just pulling one last night? It was Halloween, after all. Plus, isn't he like the size of a gremlin? You dreamt of that? What was that like? God, no wonder you need a drink. Hon, I'll get you two more."

Lizzie sighed. Her explanation could have gone better. "Yes, he loves pranks, but this wasn't a prank! And he's not a gremlin." She winced, thinking of what Fred really was. "He's a man. Well, he looks like one, anyway. He looks a lot like the waiter. Well, the hair does and he's the same height, but Fred's eyes are… blue." She thought again of those blue eyes in her dream and how they had turned into those black orbs ringed in blue. She shook her head. "He was very much a man in my dream."

Janie's interest piqued and she glanced again at the waiter. Smirking, she looked back at Lizzie and asked, "How much of a man are we talking?"

Lizzie started to answer when the waiter returned with their drinks. He set the glasses on the table, winked again at Janie and looked at Lizzie. "See anything you like?"

Lizzie groaned internally. The universe really did hate her. "I'm still… deciding."

"I'll give you ladies a few more moments." He smiled and left.

Lizzie picked up her drink and downed half of it. "I'm cursed. Or, I'm being punished. I can't decide which." She drank the rest of her drink, set her glass down, and pushed it away from her. "I need five more of these." She was stalling now.

Janie eyed her. "So… your imaginary friend's really an incubus?"

"Apparently. Funny how it never came up before," she muttered, still feeling the sting of his secret.

"I don't get it. So, he just showed up wanting to boink you senseless, just like that? And now you think he's following you?" Janie looked around, not seeing anyone else matching Lizzie's description of Fred. "Is he here now?"

"First, he had to scare the crap outta me and act like it was no big deal that he left for _six_ months and never visited me once. Then, he tells me he's really an incubus, who doesn't like sex, and now he has feelings for me! How am I supposed to handle that? No one can handle that! It's ridiculous!" She reached for her drink, remembered it was empty, grabbed Janie's, and finished it instead. "And I don't know where he is!"

Janie was too fascinated by all this to care as Lizzie guzzled her mimosa. "Wait. Whoa! Back up. This guy's got _feelings_ for you, ran away, finally tells you why, and adds in he's basically like a sex god, but then tells you he hates it?" Janie held her head. "Now I'm gonna need twelve drinks. Who hates sex? I thought you said he was a man?" Smacking her hand on the table, Janie caught the waiter's eyes and waved him over.

Frederick, pitcher in hand, returned and filled their glasses. "Are you ready to order? The french toast is the special of the day. I highly recommend it." He smiled at Janie.

"Give me that with another mimosa." She didn't even look at him this time, she was too stumped on what Lizzie had said. Finally she just could not help but ask him, "You're a man, right? Tell me, what would you say if you heard any of your kind hated sex?"

Frederick blinked in surprise and then smiled slowly, looking Janie up and down. "My kind doesn't hate sex." He leaned down, hovering over their table. "Sex is like breathing. It's a necessity."

Janie smiled dreamily, suddenly noticing him again instead of her thoughts. "Right. That's what I thought." She patted his cheek. "I just needed to hear that. My faith is restored." She turned to Lizzie. "Go on and order, Lizzie. It's on me."

Frederick winked at Janie, straightened and looked at Lizzie. "Have you decided?"

Lizzie stared at the waiter, who seemed to be put here to torment her. "French toast."

"Good choice. I'll put your order in. Just flag me down if you need me." He left, smiling to himself.

"Janie, if you're done drooling over the waiter I have a crisis to deal with!"

"Right, right. I'm on it," she said, eyeing the waiter's ass as he walked away before finally setting her focus back on Lizzie. "So, how do you feel about all this?"

Lizzie exhaled. "I don't know. I don't know how I should feel. It's… crazy. I- That dream felt so real."

"Are you sure it wasn't real?" she asked. "Incubi are known for invading dreams. I have a friend who's way into all this. Very New Age. She let me borrow a book once. God, I couldn't put it down." She took a drink of water and fanned herself.

"It had to be a dream! He couldn't have-" Lizzie put her hands to her reddened cheeks. "He was unlike himself. He was sweet, and sexy, and unbelievably amazing." Lizzie felt like she needed to fan herself.

"That good, huh? Honestly, you look like you've had sex all night. It's all over your face. I think he went for it."

Lizzie squeaked. She leaned forward, lowering her voice. "I did not have sex all night! We stopped before- It was just a dream! A really, vivid dream, and I'm still feeling the effects." Janie's words worried her, though. Did Fred somehow invade her dream and try to have sex with her?

"Feeling the effects? That sounds like incubi magic to me. I hear it's like taking a hit off a crack pipe. Looking at you, I believe it."

"Oh god. Why is this happening? He said he was a virgin and was kicked out, or demoted for not having sex. So he chooses to practice on me?" Lizzie struggled to keep her voice down. "That was not the performance a virgin would give!" She thought of his very sure and strong hands on her body. The memory of the orgasms also seemed like evidence against Fred. "Definitely not the performance of someone who hates sex."

"This sounds already like so many dates I've been on, minus the whole supernatural flair. Please, Lizzie. He's a man! He'll say what he wants to get you into bed." Janie sipped her drink, feeling sorry for her friend now, and also a little like kicking Drop Dead Fred's ass.

"I would at least like to be conscious if he's going to get me into bed! He swore he'd never done anything!" She felt both embarrassed and angered. "If he lied to me I'm going to punch him!"

Janie took an even bigger gulp of her drink. "Makes two of us. Where's he now, anyway?"

Lizzie took a long drink from her own glass. "I don't know. I told him I needed time to think about all of this. I don't know where incubses… incubi? I don't know where they go when they aren't having sex with people."

"Well, did he say he's coming back? Anything? You said he had feelings for you… Do you think it's true? What do you feel about him?"

"I said we could talk tonight, but who knows when he'll come back." She remembered the broken look on his face. "He might not. He seemed so… sad and hurt that I didn't understand what he told me." Lizzie looked at Janie, pleading with her eyes. "How was I supposed to answer him? I've known him since I was little. I didn't think he was capable of feeling anything like that for anyone, let alone me!" She shook her head. "How do I feel? Confused."

"Understandable. That's a lot to swallow, but if he's serious… well, good luck." Janie's eyes widened and she took the last drink from her glass. Wiping her mouth, she added, "And if he's that good in bed, then write the rest of us memoirs so we can at least live vicariously."

A short and shapely woman with dark hair approached with a tray of food. "Ladies, I'm sorry to keep you waiting. Here's your food." She smiled brightly as she placed the plates on the table. "Can I get you anything else? More mimosas? I think Frederick has been slacking off. He's trying, though. I hope you won't be disappointed with his service."

"Honey, with those buns of his, he can slack all he wants. The service is great. I'm good for now, thank you," said Janie, smiling and tugging her plate toward her.

"Oh, you should see those buns out of those pants!" Shea winked. "His service outside of the restaurant is superb." She looked at Lizzie. "Are you satisfied with your service?"

Lizzie looked at the beautiful woman in front of her and felt like she knew her.

"No. I mean, yes. He's good. Thank you." She looked at her, frowning. "I'm sorry, I just feel like I know you from somewhere."

The woman smiled like she was amused. "You and I have never met, but we have a mutual… friend."

"Oh? Who's that?" Lizzie was sure she would have remembered hearing about a woman like her.

"You know my brother, Lorcan." She looked like she was trying not to laugh.

Lizzie's brow furrowed. "Lorcan? I don't know anybody named Lorcan. You must be mistaken."

"Miss!" A customer waved the waitress over.

The woman motioned to the customer to let her know that she saw her. She turned her eyes back to Lizzie, smiling like she had a secret.

"No. You're old friends with my brother. He just likes to go by a different name when he's here. Drop Dead Fred." She walked away and went to attend to the customer.

Lizzie would have gasped but she felt that all the air had been sucked out of her lungs. Her mouth hung open as she tried to process the woman's words. She looked at Janie, who seemed equally dumbfounded, then turned to stare at the mysterious waitress who seemed to know Lizzie's imaginary friend.

Turning back to Janie, Lizzie tried to keep her voice calm. "You heard that right? I'm not… hallucinating Fred everywhere?"

"No. Definitely not hallucinating," said Janie, staring at the woman in shock. "Not unless I've gotten a contact high off your wild night. Holy shit. That gremlin's got a sister?" She nudged Lizzie. "I think you better go get yourself some answers before I do." She looked around for another drink, finding a half-empty glass of something alcoholic at the next table, and swigging it down. "While you're at it, ask her where I can place a custom order for what you had last night."

Lizzie stared at this strange woman who claimed to be Drop Dead Fred's sister.

 _He has a sister?_

Lizzie wondered what else could possibly come up. Would she say Fred's father was Santa Claus? His mother was the Tooth Fairy?

"He never said anything about family," Lizzie said, wondering what other fascinating branches existed in Fred's family tree.

Fred's sister had disappeared into the back room and Lizzie's anxiety rose. "I never pictured a sister, and certainly not one who looks like a model."

"Sounds like he didn't say much about a lot. Didn't you two _ever_ talk?" asked Janie. "Jesus, go after his sister already! Get yourself some answers."

"He's not exactly a wealth of information when it comes to talking about himself. Obviously I never asked as a child. He was there to cheer me up and we had fun. Later… I think I was just so surprised that he was back I never thought to ask those questions. I mean, I thought he'd come from my imagination. I was wrong." Lizzie looked back toward the doors that led to the kitchen. "I can't just go back! I'm sure she'll come back. She showed up out of the blue. It has to be for a reason."

Fred's sister emerged from the doors, holding two pitchers. She went to a table, refilled their drinks, and returned to Lizzie and Janie's table, topping off their drinks.

"This is why I don't enjoy the food service industry. It just runs you ragged." She blew her hair out of her face. "Nothing a good soak in a hot tub with Frederick can't fix." She emphasized Frederick with a smile. "Need anything else?"

Lizzie just stared. Who was she? Was she really Fred's sister?

Janie picked up her fork and poked Lizzie in the arm. "Ask her, dammit! The suspense is killing me!"

"Ow!" Jumping, Lizzie shook herself out of her stupor. "I'm sorry, but you're Fred's sister? How?"

The woman smiled. "Yes, and the usual way, but I suppose that isn't what you're really asking." She pulled out a chair and gracefully sat down, crossing her legs at the ankles.

"Mummy and Daddy are very old and they did what most loving couples do. They procreated. A lot. I have… ninety-seven brothers, plus Lorcan, and I don't know how many nieces and nephews. Everyone's always having babies. Family reunions are… well, we don't really have them. No time, and we can only stand that many loud people for so long." She paused.

"Lorcan, I mean, Fred, hasn't really been in the picture for awhile. I'm afraid my baby brother is a bit of a black sheep." She shrugged a shoulder. "I've been doing my best to help him mend fences with Father. Now that Lorcan's finally decided to own who he is the situation's looking more positive." She paused again, her gaze meeting Lizzie's.

"Truthfully, you're part of that positive situation." A hopeful smile lit her face.

Mouth opening and closing, Lizzie stared at Fred's sister.

Sister! She still couldn't get passed that, and she had nearly fallen out of her chair at the mention of ninety-seven brothers. That wasn't a family it was an army. Fred actually had a family. He had a mother and father and he never mentioned them. Not even once in the whole time he had known her. What else had he not told her? Was he married? Did he have ten wives? A harem? A sex den?

Lizzie's breath quickened and she felt like her skin was on too tight. Fanning herself, she glared at the strange woman.

"No! No! No! You don't get to dump stuff on me and smile like it's no big deal! I'm starting to see the family resemblance! I want answers! Straight, complete answers! No more vagueness! No more half-truths! I want to know everything!"

She panted and everyone around her eyed her like she might start stabbing people with her fork. Lizzie was tempted.

She reached for her drink and took a big gulp.

"Start talking, sister!"

"I'd do it," said Janie, casually. "She's crazy. Her mother almost had her committed."

Shea's eyes were wide as she took in Lizzie in her agitated state.

 _'I think I broke her,'_ Shea said to Gabriel in her mind.

 _'She's dealing with a lot. Honestly, she's doing better than I thought she would. Just help her and answer her questions.'_

 _'Ugh. Do you wanna handle this oh-so-delightful Q and A?'_

Gabriel laughed in her mind. _'No, Darling. This is all you. I'm just here as eye candy.'_

 _'Fine. I'll take it out on you later.'_

 _'Promises, promises.'_

Clearing her throat, Shea offered Lizzie a small smile.

"I'm sorry. I never realized how much my brother kept from you. Please don't be mad he held so much back. We're not supposed to tell mortals about our true nature. Most people think it's all a game, or they go nuts. We have rules where we're from and we don't tell people about us. Lorcan, I mean Fred, is an exception." Shea rolled her eyes.

"Of course he has to be dipping his toes in the mortal end of the pool." Seeing Lizzie's eye twitch, Shea grimaced and held up her hands.

"Sorry. What do you want to know exactly?"

Lizzie sighed. She was finally going to get answers, but she felt a mixture of relief and nausea. Shouldn't Fred be telling her all this? Would he even tell her all of it? She thought back to his sister calling him a black sheep. It seemed fitting, but it also made her sad to think that he was an outcast in his own family.

 _His ginormous incubus family._

Lizzie stared at Fred's sister with hesitation. "I-I'm sorry. I don't know what to call you."

The woman laughed. "Sorry! It's a hazard of being a succubus. Everyone knows everyone in Lullabi and when I work, well… exchanging names isn't a priority." She winked.

"I'm Scheherazade, but everyone calls me Shea. It's much easier to spell and yell during sex." She grinned.

"Oh," Lizzie said. She had no idea how to respond to that. "Alright. It's nice to meet you, Shea…"

"Likewise. If I'm going for complete truth, I did pop in to look in on you. To make sure you were alright." Shea frowned. "I hope that's okay. I'm sorry if it seems…. well, like an invasion of your privacy, but I promise I was in and out."

"Uh… you looked in on me?"

"Yes, after your dream," Shea said, bracing herself for another outburst from Lizzie.

"You know about that?" Lizzie wanted to shrink until she disappeared, and sank down in her chair.

"I do," Shea said, carefully. Lizzie's reaction was adorable. She hoped she could help Lizzie see it wasn't so bad. "Baby Brother came to me and told me what a mess he'd made of his… reintroduction to you. I could strangle him, but I digress. He told me about that dream. Sounds like it was a good one. Was it?"

"Yeah, was it?" asked Janie with a sly grin. She'd soaked up every juicy detail of their conversation and was dying for more.

Mouth opening and closing, Lizzie tried to form words, but that part of her brain had broken.

Fred knew about the dream and now his sister knew, too. She was going to kill him.

Shea tried to suppress a grin, but failed. "Darling, in my experience if someone is speechless after sex, it's a good thing."

Glancing over at Janie, Shea smiled. "Janie, isn't it? You agree, don't you?" She rested her chin on her folded hands.

Mimicking Shea's pose, Janie leaned toward her, a devilish grin on her face. "Oh, most certainly. That's the best kind. Bonus points if you also can't walk." She tilted her head at Lizzie. "So, sounds like you two had a lot of fun. You're all shades of red. Do I get the details? Don't make me wait. I've been in a dry spell thanks to your Fred. I need my entertainment somehow."

Pursing her lips, Shea narrowed her eyes at Janie. Shea was here for Lizzie, but hearing about Janie's dry spell made her pause. "Dry spell? Please tell me you mean that it's only been hours since your last romp."

"Honey, I wish!" Janie lamented. "I haven't seen a man's schlong for six months now. Not since your brother pushed me to a meltdown at the office over his invisible, little gremlin ass." Janie gave Lizzie a side eye, shaking her head.

"I lost my one good schtup and now I work so much it's hard to get out and find another."

Moaning in sympathy, Shea shook her head. "I apologize for Lorcan. He has a way of… cock blocking everyone in a fifty foot radius. Doll, you need to be able to unwind after a long day's work and what better way to unwind than sex? I need to make this right. I saw you were a fan of Frederick over there. Is that your type?"

"Red-blooded is my type, honey. Give me tall, horny, and able, and I'm good to go." Janie scooted her chair closer and rested her chin on her palm. "So… ninety-seven brothers, you say? Any of them single?"

Shea clapped her hands together. "I love that you aren't particular. Why settle for one type when you can try them all?" She smiled. "Oh, quite a few are in the confirmed bachelor stage." She tapped a finger against her red lips.

"Now, who would suit you best?" she mused. "Castor's in the dog house, so I'm not doing him any favors any time soon. Pollux? No, you need someone more aggressive. Ade? No!" A huge smile lit up her face as it came to her.

"I think you'd enjoy the company of Remy. He's enthusiastic in all things, but especially in foreplay. I think a romp with an enthusiastic partner's just what he needs. He's a little bruised because his last playmate had to break off their long-standing appointment. I'm sure your can-do attitude toward sex will perk him right up. I'll see when he's free."

Lizzie wanted to plug her ears. "Do you have to discuss this in a restaurant?"

Janie looked at her in confusion. "Why not? It's where people order." She looked back at Shea. "I'll have him for sure. He sounds like my kind of fun."

"Perfect! I love bringing people together!" She smiled, clasping her hands together. "Now, back to the matter at hand." She looked right at Lizzie, who fidgeted in her seat.

"I'm afraid Lorcan's new to the show-and-tell portion of being an incubus. He's trying, but let's be honest… he's kinda crap when it comes to explaining things." She shook her head. "I know he dumped a lot of things on you last night, and if I hadn't had a bachelor party and Gabe to satisfy, I would've been there to help." She reached out and patted Lizzie's hand.

"So, as a succubus, a woman, and his sister, I apologize for his miserable attempt at explaining who he is… and why he left." Shea grimaced. "I wish he would have come to me." She sighed. "Brothers. So, you know what he is..." Pausing, Shea hoped she could help fix her brother's mess. "Do you have any questions?"

"So many I can't think straight," Lizzie said, sitting forward. "I'm not sure I know where to start. I- Is he coming back?" Lizzie asked. Part of her was worried he wasn't, and the other part worried that he was. "Where is he now?"

"He's…" Shea stopped, considering how to answer. Lilin didn't lie and she didn't want to ruin this by lying to Lizzie.

"He's with Remy, actually. They're doing what we do best. Giving mortals healthy doses of lust." Studying Lizzie's face, she saw and felt curiosity. _Well, that's_ _a good sign._

"He wants to talk to you," Shea continued, choosing her words carefully. "Not just to apologize. There's a little matter of what happened after he left." _Like a mother fucking soul-bond._ Shea looked at Lizzie, guiltily.

"What happened after he left?" asked Janie. She felt like she was in the midst of a steamy soap opera and she was hooked. Forget the mimosas. "And is he really a virgin? Because that's killing me."

Shea bit her lip, trying to keep from giggling. She really wanted to spill all the juicy details, but she didn't want to embarrass Lizzie, or let her think Fred had gone into her dream with lusty intent.

"Well… he is in the traditional sense." She glanced sideways at Lizzie, waiting for her reaction.

Lizzie's eyes widened. Did Shea know what happened in the dream? Lizzie wanted to crawl under the table. She found herself starting to slouch in her seat again and her cheeks turned bright red as she thought of Fred touching her, whispering how good she felt. She felt her sex begin to tighten as the feel of his fingers on her most intimate part came back in full force.

Janie sat up straighter and her jaw dropped before she pointed at Lizzie. "So, you _were_ having sex all night. I knew it! That little bastard."

Lizzie cringed. This was horrible. Had Fred somehow been responsible for that dream? Was it more than just a dream? "It wasn't actual sex, and it wasn't all night," Lizzie said, sounding unconvincing even to herself. "It was just… very vivid." She mumbled the latter, her cheeks flaming at the memory of their hands on each other.

"If that's how you'd describe taking his non-traditional virginity, sure," Janie responded.

Shea inhaled through her teeth. This could get messy. Feeling Lizzie's desires, she whispered to Gabriel, _'A little help here, sexy.'_

 _'For you, anything,'_ he whispered as his power flowed out, caressing Shea and flowing to Lizzie and Janie. All three women sighed as euphoria washed over them.

"Oh, what the hell," said Shea, grinning and flicking her hand. She sent the euphoric and satisfied feeling throughout the restaurant. Gabriel's power added to hers and soon the whole restaurant was full of smiles.

"We're all adults. Everyone could use a pick me up today." She grinned and fed off the resulting wave of sexual satisfaction from the customers. "That's better." Shea leaned back, catching the pleased smile on Janie's face.

"I do love a woman who's enthusiastic in the bedroom and out, and anywhere, really. Janie, you're my kind of lady." She laughed and turned to Lizzie, who felt considerably less tense.

"What did you just do?" Lizzie asked, feeling like she had after her dream, minus the sexual frustration and freaking out part. She felt amazing and looking around the room, so did everyone else. "Is that what you do? Make people feel better? Can you change people's dreams?"

Shea smiled at Lizzie. She really was precious, and just perfect for her baby brother. Not giving her the full truth at this point started to wear at her.

"Well, Frederick and I-" She winced. "Dammit. That's not Frederick. I'll be honest. I had him introduce himself as Frederick as a little joke. That's Gabriel. My incredibly sexy, thoughtful, and all around delicious lover."

From across the room, Gabriel waved and winked at Shea.

"Gabriel and I used our powers to give everyone a little pick me up. We also took a hit, as it were, off the desire rolling off everyone in waves. It's fucking fantastic."

Lizzie blinked, not sure how to take yet another reveal. Was anything forthright with Fred and his family? "Oh. So, you gave us all that post-sex feeling and you somehow… fed off that?"

"Yes," Shea said, grinning. "A girl's gotta feed and waffles don't do it for this lady."

"This is the best lunch I've ever had," said Janie, taking it all in with pure astonishment. "I can't wait for tonight. I've read so much about this and it's all true!" Janie smiled, but she furrowed her brows. "Huh… So, when you mentioned Remy and Lizzie's sex gremlin giving people lust, you meant that they're off… feeding right now?"

"Yep. It's a time of brotherly bonding and feeding off lust. I'm sure Remy is also making many jokes about masturbation at Lor-Fred's expense." Shea snorted. "He's hilarious, but I'm not telling him that to his face."

"I take it they're not somewhere people have brunch," Lizzie said, trying to picture Fred among people like this.

"Ha!" Shea blurted out and grinned. "No. They're at a strip club, Honey."

"Fred's at a strip club?" Lizzie all but yelled. The customers were too busy and euphoric to notice. "Are you telling me that right this moment Fred, my Fred, is in a strip club? Where women take their clothes off and shake their asses on poles?"

Nodding, Shea laughed. "I know! It's amazing. I really hope Remy got him to shove ones down a thong or two."

Blinking, Lizzie stared at Shea. Fred was at a strip club. Watching half-naked women shake their breasts in his face? Confusion and shock was overridden by a feeling of jealousy. She didn't want Fred looking at anyone else's breasts!

Realizing she'd just become jealous over Drop Dead Fred being at a strip club caught up to Lizzie and she laughed. She was losing her mind.

"Fred's at a strip club." Lizzie laughed harder. "I don't know if that's the craziest thing I've heard since he showed up at my door last night and said he was an incubus."

Thinking back to the fact that Fred had started a soul-bond with Lizzie, Shea's laughter grew weak. "Yeah, crazy brother who hates sex is at a strip club. Crazy."

Wiping her eyes, Lizzie shook her head. "I can't believe this is all true. I shouldn't have been surprised, but after that dream and now this…" She sighed. "I don't even know how to feel about that dream."

"Yes, the dream. That wasn't planned," Shea said, patting Lizzie's hand. "It's just that my lovable, idiot brother doesn't think."

"Meaning, what?" asked Janie, raising an eyebrow. "He just tripped and whoops! Started a sex dream?"

Rolling her eyes, Shea shook her head. "I wish it was as simple as that. No. Lorcan's not a planner. He didn't realize what an avalanche he'd cause just from telling you how he felt. So, with his weird, semi-explanation, you started to dream about him and then… sex avalanche."

"What? That's what you want to call the-" Lizzie bit her tongue to stop herself from continuing. Admitting to herself and Janie that the so-called 'sex avalanche' was the best sex she'd ever had was one thing. Saying it out loud to strangers was another.

"Lizzie, you don't have anything to be embarrassed about," said Shea, sensing her feelings. "Sex is natural. It's great! It's a necessity. We, that is those of us who aren't from around here, are very fond of sex, and we do our best to help others feel that way, too. I'm all for sex and enjoying it and I certainly won't judge you." Shea smiled, hoping she got through to Lizzie.

"Now… I know this seems very strange," she added, "and probably weirded you out, but you had a dream that involved my brother and things went from mild PG-13 rated stuff to… M for Mature." She grinned.

"That's putting it nicely," Lizzie murmured.

"So, the virgin's got some skills." Janie grinned at Lizzie. "Impressive little gremlin."

Shea puffed her chest out. "Of course he does! He comes from a long line of very skilled sex enthusiasts. Though Lorcan's still new, and he doesn't have a handle on things like he likes to pretend, but the basics are there." Shea leaned forward. "Just so you know, if he had somehow managed to ruin sex for you, I would have hurt him."

Lizzie's eyes widened. "Oh. He, he didn't." She cleared her throat and Shea winked.

"So, thankfully, he's a natural and I don't have to maim him and get an earful from our mother."

Lizzie purposefully chose not to comment on Fred and his natural abilities. His amazing abilities. _God, stop thinking about it, Lizzie!_

Shea snapped her fingers, making Lizzie jump. "Oh, you remember his wretched, green suit?" Shea stuck out her tongue. "It was helping him suppress his gifts. Thankfully, I, being the wonderful sister and person that I am, got rid of it. You're welcome."

Lizzie still struggled to process everything Shea had said. She reminded her of Fred, talking a mile a minute and switching topics lightning fast. When she stuck out of her tongue, she had really reminded her of Fred. She wondered what the rest is his family was like. "I'm sorry… His suit?" Lizzie's head spun like it had when Fred had tried to explain things.

Grinning, Shea nodded. "It's dead! Finally! I can't believe all it took was a heaping dose of lust, but thank Bacchus it's dead!"

"It was alive?!" Janie asked, dropping her fork where it clattered on the plate.

Seeing Lizzie's confused look and Janie's shock, Shea settled down. "Sorry. It was just hideous. And a major cock block. And not really alive." Shea held up a finger before either women could respond.

"I'll try to explain things better than my brother... We're spirits called lilin, but obviously we can occupy the physical world. Those of us who are older and more experienced can come and go. I can appear here in a physical form for several hours. It takes a lot of practice. There are those, like Lorcan, who get banished and can occupy the physical world, but with limitations."

"Was he still an incubus when he was with me?" asked Lizzie. "When he was my imaginary friend?"

"Yes. You can't change a lilin into something else. It's not possible, but with magic, you can change abilities."

Lizzie frowned, but nodded, wanting to hear more.

"Now, our powers are rooted in sex. The act, the desires, the feelings you get from a really good roll in the sheets… We feed off that. It enhances our powers and we give it back. It kind of goes in a circle. We can alter mood, feelings, like you just experienced, and we can alter dreams. Part of our job is to help people. We can make fantasy seem like reality, and in some cases it can become reality." Shea paused to see if Lizzie followed.

"Okay. I think I understand," said Lizzie, slowly. "He made the dream seem real?"

Shea sucked in a breath. She had to be very careful now about how she explained this to her.

"Yes. He can make you feel what happened in the dream. And in the beginning Lorcan felt you calling him when you were dreaming. I believe it's part of the bond you have with him because that's not something humans can do. Call us, I mean."

Lizzie's eyes widened, but Shea continued.

"He entered your dream and saw what was happening in it. He experienced what you did and it started to awaken his powers. That's when he began using his powers so you could feel what was happening in the dream. For a little while you both could feel it. He left and came to me before he got out of control."

When Shea said Fred actually entered her dream Lizzie almost spat out her mimosa mid sip. "He was in my dream? Like, he was just hanging out in there while I was getting a hand job from his dream self?"

Shea winced. "This is tougher than I thought. I always considered this to be very simple. Yes. He was in the dream. He could see it all playing out in front of him like stepping on a stage at the theater." She looked at Lizzie and Janie. "Does that make sense? Are you still following me?"

Lizzie's brow furrowed, but she nodded. "I think I understand." She frowned. "So, Fred didn't change my dream?"

Janie tilted her head as she started slicing up her french toast. Taking a big bite, she kept her eyes on the conversation. This was too delicious to interrupt, and she had french toast. She needed to come here more often.

"Not on purpose." Shea smiled. _Please don't freak out._

"He did change it?" Lizzie's mouth opened in shock. Her heart raced. "What part?"

"Just at the end, well, perhaps it's more like halfway through?" Shea cringed. "I'm sorry. He responded to you in the dream. It's new to him. I know that's not an excuse and he did leave when he realized he was losing control. Again, I'm sorry. He would have come to apologize right away, but he got himself into trouble."

"So, now you know, too?" Lizzie moaned. "Awesome. Now you've seen me and your brother…" Lizzie trailed off realizing what that meant. "His sister saw me having sex with him. Great."

Shea fought a smile. _Lorcan's little, mortal girlfriend's more precious than I thought. And I am not going to be the one to tell her that all of Lullabi knows about it._ "It's no big deal, Lizzie. I'm just happy he's interested in sex. That's a miracle in itself."

"I don't even know what to say to that," Lizzie said, covering her face.

"I know it seems strange, but lilin don't have hangups about sex. We're very open about it. Usually a family member or two watches over out first time. We celebrate sex. It's part of who we are. Our powers let us change the mood in dreams. If you have a dream that's making you feel anxious or scared, we can help make you feel happy, safe, and of course we can take a tame, little makeout sesh and turn it into full blown erotica!" Shea threw out her hands in emphasis. "We can also make you see your ideal sex partner, or partners." She threw a wink at Janie. "We can even put a specific person, versus just a fantasy in the dream."

Janie smirked at Shea. "Tell Remy I'd like him au natural. I wanna see the face of the incubus coming to rock my world." She winked back and lifted her glass in salute.

"And… which of those did Fred do?" Lizzie swallowed, tearing the corner of her napkin.

"He didn't alter your feelings, but he did amp up the lust. Those orgasms you had - pure incubus. Feels good, right?" Shea grinned. "We can be in the dream and we can interact as if we're in the same room with you." She looked carefully at Lizzie.

"So, I felt more desire because of his powers?" Lizzie thought over everything she had heard and couldn't keep one particular worry from her mind. "You said you give and then you take… did he?"

 _Mother fucker_ , thought Shea. _This is the part I was dreading the most._

Sensing Shea's anxiety, Gabriel used his powers to calm her. _'You can do this, gorgeous. You can help her understand.'_

Shea nodded, but kept her eyes on Lizzie. "Yes. He did."

Lizzie had wondered if he had, but hearing it from Shea's lips was still shocking. "He swore he wouldn't."

Shea grimaced. _Lorcan, why would you promise her that?_

"I'm sorry," she answered. "It's in our nature. You see, lust is a very strong emotion. It's a siren song to us, one we can't ignore. It's hard to control if you don't have the skills, and dear, little Lorcan is a tad inexperienced when it comes to using his powers. It got away from him. So, please don't think he was trying to pull something. He would never have done it on purpose." Shea braced herself for yelling, hysteria, or fainting.

Lizzie had been carefully listening. Shea had a way of explaining it that made it easier for her to follow, but Lizzie drowned in a swirl of emotions. She felt confused, relieved, betrayed, and even disappointed, which confused her even more.

"So, we both experienced the dream and he used his powers and fed off me?" Touching her neck, as though she expected to find bite marks, Lizzie's cheeks flamed as she thought of those things they had said to each other. How she had wanted to help him take care of his virgin situation. "It felt so real, like I could feel him…" Lizzie trailed off, touching her mouth as she recalled the sensation of his lips on hers.

Shea smiled. She knew what Lizzie meant because she had seen everything from Fred's memory. Now she had to explain what he had done, but she didn't want to traumatize her. "You experienced it together. What you felt, he felt. It seemed quite pleasurable from what I could tell. Now that you know, are you alright?"

Lizzie nodded, only half-listening. What did it mean that Fred had fed off her? "Am I going to go crazy now?"

Shea sighed. "Did he say that? Stupid brother. No. You're fine." _Aside from that damn soul-bond while still being mortal._ "I said I looked in on you after the dream. I made sure you didn't have any adverse side effects."

Lizzie let out a long, slow breath. "It still feels surreal, well, not the sex part. That felt real. I mean the fact that it was Fred. Someone I don't associate with sex."

Nodding, Shea smiled. "I understand. He's been running from that part of himself for a very long time." Shea tapped a finger to her lips. "Do you want to talk about the dream?"

Janie grinned. "Yes, and don't spare the details. After all, his sister here's trying to help," she said, her mouth full of food. "God, this is delicious french toast!"

"It could be the afterglow." Shea smiled. "It makes everything better. Food included."

"Always very true. That's why I highly believe in sex before meals. That, and you're less bloated." She took another bite and looked at Lizzie. "So, come on! I wanna hear what was so great that you missed our brunch date."

Lizzie looked from Janie to Shea, both of them watching her, expectantly. "It was… the best sex I ever experienced in my life." She groaned. "And it was all in my head and… other places, but mostly in my head. How sad is that?" She covered her face with one hand.

Shea wanted to cheer and jump on the table. Little Lorcan had delivered great sex and he had only tapped into his powers a little. There was hope yet.

Outwardly, Shea frowned in sympathy and patted Lizzie on the shoulder. "Sex is sex, Doll. Great sex should be enjoyed, no matter how you get it. Don't feel bad it was in a dream." Shea wanted to add that it could become a reality for Lizzie, but didn't want to push it. "The effects were real." She grinned.

Janie smiled. "Ah, so that's the sense he's not a virgin. Well, Lizzie, if it was that great and only just a dream, you gotta take care of his other sense pronto."

Lizzie was too embarrassed and overwhelmed to respond to Janie's suggestion. She looked at Shea. "It felt really real and great. So great I wanted more, but...

"You feel conflicted because it's Fred?" Shea finished.

Lizzie nodded. "It seems wrong. I remember in my dream it seemed wrong, but when his hands were on me and his lips... It felt so good, so right."

"Maybe your subconscious is trying to tell you that it's okay." Shea leaned forward. "Relationships change. Lilin can go through them faster than mortals use tissue. Sometimes we see people differently."

 _Speaking of different_ , thought Shea.

"There's something I should mention. He wants to see you, apologize for his atrocious handling of telling you he was back." She rolled her eyes. "I swear I'm so embarrassed we came from the same parents. Anyway, he really does feel awful and also bad about the dream sex thing, but the thing is…" She paused, struggling to find the right words. "I mentioned his suit and how I got rid of it. Well, without it, it not only lets him use his powers without interference, but it lets his true personality come out."

 _Pray to every sex deity that you didn't just screw this up, Scheherazade._

Lizzie still tried to process sex with Fred when Shea hit her with another smack between the eyes. "His true personality? What does that mean?"

Shea let out a groan. "Well… most men can be childish. I'm sure we'll all agree on that. Lorcan is more so, especially because of the suit. It helped him suppress his sexual needs and desires, and instead of channeling that, he channeled lunacy." Shea looked embarrassed now. "I mean, I say lunacy because I don't get that childish behavior. I just have to apologize for the snot thing. I can't believe he tries to do that still and thinks it's endearing! Well, he did. He better stop, or so help me…"

"He does a snot thing?" asked Janie, raising an eyebrow.

"It's just putting boogers on people's faces," Lizzie said, waving it off. She looked back at Shea. "Is he a different person?" Lizzie tried to reconcile the Fred she knew with the Fred from her dream. Who was he really?

"It's still him, Lizzie. At his heart, he is the loud, obnoxious, fart obsessed, lovable idiot you have always known. But he's also someone who needs sex and wants it with you."

"I-I don't even know what to say to that. He's never seemed interested and you're saying the suit did that?"

"Yes. It helped him channel his snot-loving child side so he could hold off feeding and be among mortals. Now it's gone and he's finally realized that a woman wants a man in the bedroom, not a fu- freaking elf from the North Pole. So… I just wanted to warn you that he's going to seem, and uh, look slightly different without the suit."

Hearing this stung. "Oh, I-I didn't know that all this time he was hiding a part of himself," said Lizzie, quietly. "Obviously I didn't know anything about him, really."

Lizzie fought between confusion and sadness over all of Fred's secrets. On one hand, she could relate to hiding a part of herself. She had done it for years. But the one person that she thought she knew was a mystery. He had chosen to shut her out. "I feel like maybe I never really knew him." It hurt to think that all this time he had lied by hiding who he was.

"It's still him, Lizzie," insisted Shea. "It's just, he's more toned down and less eye-assaulting. I find it's an improvement." She offered a bright smile, hoping Lizzie would feel the same way. "I know it'll take some getting used to, but it's Lorcan… I mean Fred. He may be a little different and not have his ghastly clothes, but he's still the Fred that you know. The one that loves to kid around and wants you to be happy."

Lizzie nodded, knowing Shea meant well, but that didn't stop the hurt, or confusion. "It's just that he helped me be who I am. He was the one pushing me to not be the person my mother wanted, or even Charles. I could always count on Fred, and to hear he was hiding this huge part of himself…" She rubbed her fist over her chest. "It hurts. He was the only one who never lied to me and now… I don't know who he is anymore."

"I'm sorry," Shea said, her lower lip sticking out. She felt awful. "I wish I knew what to say. As his sister, I want to fix this mess, but as a woman, as a friend, I wish I could fix this and ease the hurt. Aside from, ya know." Shea wiggled her fingers. "Temporarily fixing it."

Offering Shea a weak smile, Lizzie squeezed Shea's hand. "Thank you. It's nice to hear, anyway. I just feel a little betrayed, and I never thought I would feel that way about Fred."

Janie had been taking in every word and she'd heard enough. Lizzie had a way of bringing out a protective streak inside her and after everything she'd watched Lizzie go through since Charles, she'd be damned if an ex-imaginary sex gremlin would hurt her best friend. "It's gonna be alright," she promised her. "I understand what you must be feeling, and frankly I don't blame you. Just remember, deep breaths and visualize. I'm here."

Lizzie offered a grateful smile, but was too lost in emotions to reply.

Setting down her fork, Janie picked up her napkin, dabbed her mouth, and cleared her throat. "Alright. As the best friend I think this is my cue…" She looked at Shea, while reaching out and holding Lizzie's hand. "He's coming back you said? To talk? I hope this talk's including letting Lizzie get to know him? The real him? No more tricks, magical chastity suits, and lies? Does he really feel bad about this? Do I need to kick his invisible ass again? Because I will! I've got sharper heels now. What made shit for brains think he needed to run from himself anyway? It's sex! Who runs from sex?" Janie smacked her hand on the table and took a drink.

Pursing her lips together, Shea listened to Janie's rant. She was beginning to like Janie even more. The feisty, sex-obsessed woman would make a great lilin. Shea smiled at the thought. One mortal becoming lilin was a miracle. Two would be… whatever a miracle times infinity was.

"Trust me," she answered, "you're preaching to the choir, as the saying goes. The entire family's been on Lorcan to be honest with Lizzie. It was a very long and interesting talk. Lilin are naturally transparent, as far as thoughts and feelings go. You can't exactly hide things if everyone can feel what you're going through. Baby Brother's an anomaly." Shea looked at Lizzie.

"A very remorseful one. He feels like shit, and if it's any consolation, he looked like shit this morning... He just wants a chance to explain himself, and for you to see him as he is…" She looked away. Honesty was the best policy, but being this upfront with a mortal was tricky. "He's actually nervous, Lizzie."

"He is?" Lizzie's eyes widened. "Over me?"

"Very. He's worried you won't like the new him. Well, I say new, but it's still him. He just seems new because he's been hiding underneath a pickle suit for the entire time you've known him. I know this has to be your decision, but I hope you'll really think about it. I hope you'll see him, but do it for you, not for me, or for Loca- Sorry, I mean Fred."

Lizzie remained quiet and conflicted. Did she want to see Fred? How would she feel when she did? Was he really the same Fred she'd always known? She felt doubtful, but the pickle suit comment made her laugh. Lizzie smiled at Shea. She could tell she cared very much for her brother. It was sweet and she wished she had a straight answer for her.

"Thank you," Lizzie said. "Not only for coming here and talking to me, but for what you said. About doing it for me." Lizzie smiled over at Janie. "Only two people have ever really had my back before. This one," Lizzie said with a nod at Janie. "And Fred." Lizzie laughed.

"I'm trying not to think of him as past tense. He's still Fred, and yet… it still blows my mind that Fred's… an incubus. I don't know what shook me more, his showing up so suddenly, or the revelation that he isn't exactly an imaginary friend."

Shaking her head, Lizzie tried to explain her thoughts. "I was really upset with him after he left, and then I thought he might never come back, and then the… dream. I didn't even know what to feel this morning." She cleared her throat.

"I mean I feel frazzled after really good sex, and sleep deprived, but still really good, but it was with Fred and it feels… wrong, but not wrong. I don't know what to feel now. Guilty. Good. Weird. I think I'm still processing it all. Leave it to Fred to make my life more complicated." Lizzie felt like her emotions were all over the place, but in the midst of her emotional hurricane she felt herself missing Fred.

"He excels at that." Shea rolled her eyes. "I know this isn't the usual way a man declares his feelings, but we're not ordinary people, Lorcan- Fred more so. I'm sorry this is harder than it should be. I just hope- I just hope you can talk and then it's up to Fate."

Shea stamped down her guilt. She knew exactly what was up to Fate, but she wasn't going to dump that on Lizzie's plate, too. She just needed to get them to meet and pray to all known deities that Chloe's crazy plan worked out. Feeling Lizzie's longing, gave Shea hope. The feelings were there, but they were strangled by Lorcan's mess.

"I know I'm biased because he's my brother, but I've never seen him this way over anyone and I want him to be happy." _I hope you can be happy together._

Lizzie managed a half-smile. "I never dreamed that Fred would come back like this and find our friendship… evolving." Lizzie made a face. Evolving wasn't even the half of it. "I still feel like the incubus thing isn't real. I mean, clearly, I have evidence it's true, but it still seems so surreal."

"Doll, that is our M.O. We want to seem like figments of the imagination. It's better for all involved if it stays that way. You and Lorcan are an exception, though. You had a bond when he was playing imaginary friend and none of the incubus stuff came into it. Now that you know… are you really okay?"

Shea waited anxiously for Lizzie's answer. There was so much Lizzie still didn't know and she hoped and prayed that when she found it all out she didn't go screaming for the hills.

Lizzie took a moment before she could form an answer. She had known Fred for a long time. At least she had always figured she knew all there was to know. Now she knew better. Her ex-husband and his lies didn't seem to compare. Fred hadn't kept a secret relationship from her; he had kept a whole secret life from her. Was it something she could get over? Sadness filled her.

"I know you mean well and Fred does mean so much to me, but… how do I look at someone who has been my friend for so long as something else and…forget that no matter what his reasons he lied to me?" Lizzie met Shea's worried eyes. "Can I forgive and forget? And how do I know what's real? I'm afraid I won't know my own feelings. Will I just be craving what I felt in that dream?"

Shea nodded, Lizzie's sadness tugging at her heart. "That's fair. I'm sure you think I'm coming in here with my smart ass two cents and telling you what should do and that it's all no big deal, but I hope I at least offer some good counsel. I feel what's going on inside." Shea tapped her chest with a finger. "I may not be going through it, but I feel it, and I know how mixed up you are inside. It's completely understandable. It's also valid. You're in the weirdest position possible." Shea cracked a smile at the phrase.

"I'd know about weird positions, but that's for another time. Back to you. Normally, it would be like any situation where two good friends start to develop an attraction and have to decide if pursuing something's worth the friendship. You and Lorcan are unique. You have the years of being close friends and then you have the incubus thing. I know I said we can alter mood, but true feelings can't be hidden, Lizzie. You will always love him for being the friend you needed. That won't change. Now I know you only have my brother's confession and that very sexy dream to show you how he's different, but there's truth there. Lorcan feels something for you and it's strong and undeniable. He's willing to give it a go despite the risk you might reject him. I hope you take that into consideration. And I'll get off my damn soap box now."

Listening quietly, Lizzie stared at her half-full glass as Shea spoke. Part of her wanted to believe Fred was serious, a tiny part of her did believe, but the larger part of her was scared. Her last relationship left her burned. Would this one end in ashes, too? Should she risk what she and Fred had for something more? The possibility thrilled and terrified her.

"Thank you for talking to me. I'm sure you had more important things to be doing. I know you must care about your brother a lot to come explain things." Lizzie managed a meek smile. "I wish I had a sister like you." She glanced over at Janie and smiled wider. "I have Janie at least. She's the closest thing to a sister I have."

Janie raised her glass. "Right back at ya. I love you and your crazy life, and I'd do anything for you." She reached across the table and squeezed Lizzie's hand. "I gotta say, though… as your honorary sister, this guy's sounding better and better if he cares for you as much as his sister says. Plus, I kinda like all the perks he kicks my way. Money, a hot date tonight, the possibility of my best friend having happiness... I really can't say much against him at this point." She winked at Lizzie and turned to Shea.

"However, I'm sure you know Lizzie's been through a lot. Truthfully, I don't believe she would've made it through what she did with Charles or her mother if it weren't for Fred… He got through to her more than I ever could. Crazy gremlin or not, he's got something special, so I'm glad he's got you, too, but as Lizzie's honorary sister I've gotta cover her back." Setting down her glass, Janie leaned forward, channeling her inner lawyer.

"So, can you guarantee for Lizzie's sake that Mr. Incubus-with-the-Identity-Crisis is serious here? I mean, it sounds like he's been around a while, right? He denies himself what he is for how long, gets a magic suit to change what he is, and suddenly decides Lizzie turns his head? Why? No offense, but until today I didn't think incubi were interested in anything beyond great sex. So, tell me as a woman, not his sister, is he for real about Lizzie? Because if he's not I'll find a way to kick his lusty, imaginary ass across every astral plane there is." Janie smiled so serenely that an eerie vibe emanated from her expression. No one messed with her friend.

Smiling at the two friends Shea felt envious of their relationship. She had no sisters and while she would say she had female friends, including the succubi married to her brothers, none of them came close to being like a sister. Janie's comments gave Shea hope, but then she threw down the gauntlet. Could Shea convince them that her brother was completely serious about Lizzie?

Pursing her lips, Shea drummed her fingers on the table as she tried to organize her thoughts. Setting her bias aside, she decided honesty was the best policy. At least as honest as she could possibly be without saying, 'Hey, I met the terrifying woman in charge of the whole universe and she said this is happening!'

"That's fair," said Shea. "I'd protect my friend from someone as fickle-sounding as my brother. As a woman I understand that having someone waltz out of your life and then return without warning is upsetting. I can also understand not being sure of someone like my brother. He hasn't shown himself to be boyfriend material. At least he wasn't with that vomit-inducing suit. He learned to push feelings aside and hide them behind humor. It's how he's learned to deal with our father and our brothers. It's his safety blanket. If he was willing to come back and tell you everything then it means he's serious, and I take that as a good sign. I know it wasn't the best way to come back and tell you, and Bacchus knows I cringe at the situation, but he's trying. He's finally willing to embrace who he is and that's huge. He's taking those steps for you." Shea looked into Lizzie's eyes.

"So, it's your choice, Lizzie. Don't decide because Lor- Fred asked you to, or because I'm pleading, or because you feel like it's what you should do. Do it for you, because you want to and you feel that it's what you need to do." _Because I don't know how Chloe's going to swing this if you tell me no right now_ , Shea thought.

Lizzie blew out a long breath. She sat still, mulling over Shea's words. It was true. Fred hadn't exactly given her any signs that he wanted something serious with her, with the small exception of their goodbye kiss. She had never thought of him as a boyfriend, let alone a lover. If the dream wasn't a lie, then clearly he could be a lover. An amazing lover. To feel it in a dream was one thing, to experience in person was another. Did she want that?

 _What do I want?_

"Huh," Janie said, running her finger along the rim of her glass. "He sounds very complex for someone who tried so hard to stay an imaginary virgin in green." She smiled at Shea. "Alright, I'm satisfied. He passes door number one. He'll face the rest of my gauntlet if he gets a chance from Lizzie… Speaking of..." Janie's focus turned to Lizzie and she lifted her eyebrows in expectation.

Fighting the urge to squirm under both intense stares, Lizzie shrugged and took a drink. "Thank you for your honesty, Shea," she said, turning the glass in her hands. "It's true that I never thought of Fred like that and now that it's come up it's not as strange as I might've thought. I just have some concerns…" She hesitantly looked at Shea.

"Fred insisted that he left because he was afraid of hurting me. He didn't mean emotionally… Can things go wrong? Should I be worried?"

Sensing Lizzie's apprehension, Shea reached out and gently placed a hand over Lizzie's. "It's a valid concern. Lilin are interested in making everything a good and pleasurable experience. Granted, there are the types who are into pain, but that's something else entirely. Lilin are only allowed around mortals if the council approves it."

"And does he have the council's permission?" asked Janie, pointedly.

"He does now," said Shea. "I mentioned he got into trouble… but it's settled now. He's been granted their full permission to be with Lizzie…"

"But there's a valid concern?" Janie prodded.

"Sorry. Yes, kinda. Lorcan's new to this, but I won't be far away." She urgently turned back to Lizzie. "I wouldn't let anything happen to you. I'll be with him when you meet. So will Remy." She gave Lizzie's hand another squeeze. "I don't anticipate anything going wrong, but his feelings where you're concerned are like a bottle of champagne waiting to burst. So, his desires are much more heightened around you. I believe in better safe than sorry, and safe words." Giving Lizzie a wink, she sat back. "Any other concerns?"

"Oh." Lizzie could barely form a coherent thought, let alone a sentence. "So, he really was afraid of doing something to me…" She looked at Shea, a frown on her face. "I think part of me thought it had been bullshit. To try to get himself out of trouble. I'm almost afraid to ask. What could happen?"

Shea grimaced. "Baby Brother has a gift for saying the wrong thing. Although, recent events have discovered our asshat older brother put some idiotic ideas in his head. Stupid Castor." Shea glared as she remembered what Fred had told her.

"To clarify, once and for all, we're not demons. That's a myth. We're beings that exist on another plane and can interact with the physical world. As for what could happen, well, once upon a time the worst case scenario was death, but that would never happen. That's from taking too much from a mortal, too many times and Lorcan couldn't do that. I wouldn't let that happen. No death on my watch." Shea felt the jolt of shock inside Lizzie's stomach and frowned.

"Death was an unfortunate side effect long ago when we didn't have rules in place like we do now," Shea explained. "And the not so worst case, well, I suppose that depends on your viewpoint... is insanity." She offered an apologetic smile. "Maybe not what you wanted to hear, but I believe in full disclosure in all things sex-related. Get the kinks, safe words, sexual preferences all on the table."

Eyes wide, Lizzie stared at Shea, unable to say anything. Death? Insanity? Things had suddenly taken a dark turn. "D- I could _die_?" Her voice came out as a squeaky, helium-induced version of her own voice. "What's the upside? Is that why he was so freaked out about being near me?"

Reaching out and patting Lizzie's shoulder, Shea nodded. "I know, it's a bit much, but like I said, that's worst case. It's not gonna happen. No one is going to let you get hurt." Shea leaned forward. "As long as I exist to watch over my wayward brother, I will never let anything happen to him or to you." Shea took a deep breath. "I swear to Vesta, Lorcan, you have to complicate everything. It's like you want to stay a virgin."

Opening her eyes, she looked at Lizzie. "Listen, Doll Face, I know this is a very heavy subject, but it's not as dire as Dork-an made it sound. He's been refusing to live as himself and he has been woefully misinformed. Next time he wants to make a confession he should talk to me. Honestly, my family is unnecessarily complicated. Lorcan, I mean Fred, has this strange obsession with being mortal and wants to live like he is one, but he's not. He's learned that he can't and he's coming to terms with it. For a long time who he is, what he can do, freaked him out. One little taste of lust and he's flogging himself like a penitent monk. Or least he was. He knows better and he knows what he really is now."

"So, he was worried for me because he didn't understand?" Lizzie frowned.

Sighing, Shea said, "I despair for old Lorcan. Wandering around, clueless. Let's just say his understanding was very limited. It has been corrected. He's making strides toward being who he ought to be, but, and I suppose this is a _big_ but, he's not quite there yet. Learning to let go of old habits is difficult, but I'm confident he can do it. " Shea grinned, thinking of Fred's uncharacteristic display of nudity. It was a good sign.

"Learning that he's not a mindless sex demon helped. Once he learned the truth, he felt much better. He knows he can be in control and can be with you without crawling up the walls." _And of course if you're soul-bonded then you won't have to worry about going crazy or dying or spacing out visits..._

Thinking over Shea's words, Lizzie recalled Fred's worry about hurting her and his loathing of being an incubus. "I see what you mean about Fred. He seemed so… sad and repulsed about admitting who he really was. I would've thought he would have been relieved, not depressed about it. He's always been so proud and happy about himself." Lizzie took a deep breath and slowly exhaled. "Why was he so confused and why did he think he was a mindless sex demon?"

Shea slapped her forehead. "I swear Castor got off easy." Sighing, Shea pasted a smile on her face. "Well, during a little heart to heart Lorcan told Remy and me that our brother Castor had told him a long time ago when he was a kid that we're demons and one day he'd lose control and be a mindless sex monster and apparently left him in a church after telling him about exorcisms on our kind. Which is impossible, by the way!"

Lizzie coughed. "He did what? Why?"

"Oh, so many reasons. Mommy issues, mostly," Shea muttered.

"But- but that's terrible!" Lizzie was outraged on Fred's behalf and suddenly wanted to throttle Castor and throw her arms protectively around Fred. She could only imagine how frightened he must have been.

"Yes, I know." Shea leaned forward. "Our mother just found out about it. She'll put the screws to him. I look forward to hearing about it."

Eyes wide, Lizzie took in the devious look on Shea's face. It was intimidating and it also reminded her of Fred. "You're scary," she murmured.

Shea grinned. "Thank you. With ninety-eight loud, unruly brothers I've perfected the art of being scary."

Lizzie grinned back. She liked Shea. Fred's sister was funny, honest, and easy to talk to. "So, now that Fred knows what he really is he can be in control?"

Resting her chin on her hands, Shea nodded and smiled at Lizzie. "Bingo."

"Is that all there is to it?" Lizzie was genuinely interested, partly because the thought of being around Fred made her nervous and the idea that Fred could control his abilities made her feel better.

"Well… I thought that was going to be the hard part. The mental bit always seems like the biggest battle, but..." Shea glanced at her nails. "Baby steps. I've done all I can. After our talk this morning I think he's crossed that first big hurdle. The rest… he'll figure it out as he goes." Her bright, green eyes shone at Lizzie. "Just talk to him, Lizzie, and I hope you can help him see that being who he is isn't terrible."

"I'll try…" Lizzie said, her voice soft. She felt bad that her former imaginary friend seemed to be struggling with himself. Like she had. "I want to help him, like he helped me, but I don't know if I can." Covering her face with her hands, she groaned. "I feel like life was simpler before I knew Fred was an incubus."

Patting Lizzie's shoulder, Shea smiled. "Just listening to him is a start. I won't ask you to do anything you're not ready to do, but I hope you'll meet with us tonight. He should at least explain himself properly and if I'm there he'll be on his best behavior. No promises about the stupid that may come out of his mouth, but it'll be better than whatever he said to you last night. Life may have seemed simpler, but simple is boring." She winked.

Lowering her hands, Lizzie looked at Shea with uncertainty. "I'll be honest, too. I'm a little nervous about seeing him after… you know…" Her face grew red. "Oh god, I can't even say it to his sister. How am I going to say it to him? I feel like things are backwards. We sorta had sex and now we're supposed to talk about feelings?"

"Sorry, but that's the incubus nature." Shea shrugged a shoulder and smiled. "Lust is strong. That's why your dream was so very physical." She winked. "Lust is easier to express and with Lorcan's lack of control, it just spilled over into the sexcapades you both enjoyed. Feelings are important in our work, too. It's necessary to know what your partner feels and needs. The more desire, the stronger the lust, and to add genuine feelings into the mix, that makes for a potent experience. Exactly like what you both had."

Rolling her eyes, Lizzie groaned. "Potent is an understatement."

Shea bit back a laugh. "You don't have to tell me. Besides, potent is a lilin's specialty." She winked. "Lorcan's spent so much time with that… _suit_ that he suppressed his potency and that conflicted with his nature. He was trying to do one without the other, which is a no-no for us. We need the physical _and_ the emotional aspects of everything not just sex. Now that he's more incubus than whatever he was before, he's getting in tune with his feelings and the feelings of others. We're empathic by nature. It's awkward for him, too. Honestly, he was all over the place after the dream. It was panic, satisfaction, regret, and if I'm honest, fear. Fear, that'd he messed things up with you. I thought it was rather endearing. He may kill me for saying that, but I felt you should know that he's in a delicate situation along with you."

Lizzie's brow furrowed as she listened to Shea. It eased some of her anxiety to know that Fred was just as awkward about the dream. Her stomach was in knots over how she felt and to hear Fred felt just as mixed up eased the bundle of nerves inside her.

However, learning he regretted what happened between them made her stomach nosedive.

Was what happened wrong?

Lizzie pushed the idea aside for another time and thought about seeing him again. How would that feel? What would they say to each other the next time they met? Would he be a stranger? What had that suit done to him? Last night was the closest she had ever come to seeing him exhibit passion as a man would. The idea that Fred could have such passion still surprised her. What else was he hiding?

"So, is there anything else I need to know?" she asked. Any brothers or cousins with other special powers?"

"You know everything I know, well, that's not exactly true. I could fill volumes with the things I know and it would make your toes curl." Shea laughed. "No, you know the important things and the rest you can learn from the incubus himself." Shea fought the urge to cross her fingers. Not being able to mention the soul-bond ate at her. Shea hated feeling so guilty.

"I do have one question. Why did he look different?" Lizzie figured she should get all her questions answered now while she was still able to think. She recalled his eyes, so black and ringed with blue. The change should have frightened her, but they'd been so intensely beautiful she'd wanted to stare into them as long as she could.

"He looked different?" Shea asked, amused. She knew Lizzie had yet to see Fred naked and bet that it would knock her socks off.

"His eyes and his suit changed."

"I hate that green blight on fashion! It was most definitely not natural." Shea shuddered. "God, I hate that suit."

Laughing at the very Fred-like outburst, she patted Shea's arm. "There, there. It's gone now, right?" Lizzie's brow wrinkled. "But why did it turn black?"

Shea smirked. "I like to think lilin invented wearing black. It's our natural state, if you don't count the zero clothes thing. We wear black to varying degrees. Even Lullabi, our home, is some shade or other of black. Our magic can only produce black clothing in the physical world. Naturally, if the job calls for certain attire in a dream, we do accommodate those tastes as the dreamer desires. Lorcan's suit changed because his nature and feelings toward you overpowered that puke green clothing."

Stinking out her tongue, Shea gagged. "He could have spent the last several centuries as a total babe instead of that party clown he chose to be." Shea slunk down in her chair, crossing her arms over her chest in annoyance. "I suppose his choice of costume was fitting. Juvenile misfit."

Lizzie wanted to admit she never found the suit that bad, but she didn't want to send Shea into shock. "So, you rocked black before it was cool?" she asked, smiling.

Shea laughed. "Damn straight."

"So, his powers made his suit change… what about his eyes?" Lizzie asked, curious as to what had caused it.

"Ah. That's an even better one." Shea turned and looked at Gabriel, who leaned in the doorway to the kitchen.

 _'Care to show the mortal?'_ she whispered in his mind.

Gabriel only offered a smile as his power flowed out and swirled around Shea. She sighed as his magic touched her like a caress, flowing up her thigh, over her breast, and across her cheek. The lust he filled her with made her feel warm from the inside out. Shea's magic pulled on the connection between them, feeding on his desire.

Lust blossomed within her, spreading from her core and outward. Every part of her being tingled. Gasping, Shea turned her darkened eyes to Lizzie.

"And there you go," Shea said, smiling. "Potency at its finest." Turning, she blew a kiss to Gabriel, who winked.

"So, now you know about that," she said to Lizzie.

Staring at the black orbs of Shea's eyes, Lizzie noticed the bright, green ring around the edges. "That's so eerie to see it like this with my own eyes." She leaned closer, her mouth agape. It was real and her eyes had changed just like Fred's had.

"That's a neat trick…" said Janie, leaning closer. "Will Remy's do that?"

"Well, arousal is like a drug. Our eyes dilate so much they look like they turn black. You get used to it." Shea smiled. "What did you think of Fred in his natural attire?"

Lizzie snapped out of her reverie. "What? Oh. Well, in the spirit of honesty, I didn't hate it." The feel of Fred's hands on her came back, a whisper of his touch on her skin, and she felt like she'd gotten too close to a fire.

Shea raised a brow. "I can feel that, but give me something here. Words would be nice. Janie, back me up."

Janie leaned in on her elbow and grinned. She'd spent the last several minutes entranced by the whole conversation like she were watching a juicy talk show.

"Yeah, dish it! Come on, I didn't come all the way back out here for nothing, and Shea's come from… I don't know, another planet, or something, so you better get talking." Janie tapped the table and her smile spread wider. "So, describe it to us, and talk slow."

Fighting the urge to squirm, Lizzie managed to maintain her composure. "You're both terrible." She took a drink and tapped her fingers on the table. "It was strange seeing Fred act so different. He was so confident and-and… It was surprising. I've never seen him like that, and I never thought I'd see him out of that suit. Not that I did! I just meant his suit was different!" She blushed. "I don't know if it was the dream, but he was so appealing I couldn't take my eyes off him."

Shea's smile grew even wider at this news. "Excellent. How did you feel about his penis? Too long? Too short? Just right?"

Lizzie gasped and began coughing. She glared at Shea, trying to grab her water, but her hand shook too much. Rolling her eyes, Shea handed her the glass.

Taking a long sip, Lizzie drank slowly until she could breathe and set the glass down with a thud. "You're trying to push my buttons, aren't you?" _Just like Fred._

"Curious minds, Doll, curious minds." Shea grinned, clearly unrepentant.

"Hey, this is important, Lizzie," said Janie. "I don't wanna hear you've been impaled in the night. So, tell us about this magic penis, and don't leave out the girth, because believe me, that is _always_ important."

"I hate you both so much right now," Lizzie said in an angry whisper.

"Come on, this is just good, old fashioned shop talk. I can share some of my experiences." Shea leaned over, a mischievous gleam in her eyes.

"No!" Lizzie clamped her hands over her ears. "No, I'm fine without knowing how many men you've pleasured in your vast experience over the years."

"Speak for yourself. I'm not!" Janie interrupted. "But you go first." She smirked.

Glaring, Lizzie shook her head at both women. "You're not going to let this go, are you?"

"Nope. Spill." Shea tapped one long finger against her chin.

"Fine. He was bigger than what I'm used to. It was…" Lizzie grimaced. "I only had my hands on it. Okay! It seemed more than adequate. It was his fingers that… ya know." Lizzie felt her face growing warm. "His fingers made me cum, and I practically saw stars. It was so good I was still reeling from it and wondering what he'd really feel like when I woke up."

"Excellent. I'm so proud of him." Shea clasped her hands together. "It's nice to know he's got it."

"I'm so glad to know you're so pleased about this," Lizzie muttered.

"And how were the orgasms?"

"Hey! I was just gonna ask that!" Janie cried. "We're so connected right now."

"Are you doing a survey?" Lizzie glared even harder at them. "Maybe I should leave so you can both swap war stories."

"Come on, Lizzie," said Shea. "It's fun to swap stories. I'm always delighted to know that a woman has enjoyed her sexual experiences."

"I just don't have that much experience," Lizzie said, her voice low. Her eyes looked around the restaurant, hoping no one was paying attention. It was mostly women in the room, but she still felt awkward.

"That is nothing to be ashamed of," said Shea. "Besides, Lorcan has never actually taken his canoe for a dip, if you know what I mean."

"I didn't need to know that," Lizzie hissed. "I mean he told me, but I don't need to hear it from his sister."

"I'm just confirming it. Having sex for the first time is a big deal in Lullabi. It's like having your sweet sixteen for a lilin. There's practically a parade," Shea said, smiling.

"You're kidding me," Lizzie said, looking horrified.

"It's a rite of passage. It means an incubus or succubus can go solo and be around mortals. I remember my first time. It was nerve-wracking, but also exciting. Mother was crying, she was so proud, which made things awkward at first-"

"Your _mother_ was there?" Lizzie shouted, drawing several stares, which made her slouch in her chair. "I hate my life at this moment."

"I don't," said Janie, chewing her french toast with a smile.

"Traitor," Lizzie mumbled. "Why was your mother there?"

"There's always a senior member in the group. It's part celebration, part precaution, and because lilin share everything, basically."

"I can't even imagine having sex in front of a mirror, let alone in front of another person," Lizzie said, her eyes wide.

"It's tradition. It's usually a family member. Mummy has seen all her children through their first experience. Except dear, little Lorcan." Shea smiled. "I spoke with her before coming here. I haven't seen her this ecstatic since my brother Bastian and his wife Idina had triplets."

"Wait, hold it," Janie said, lifting up her hand. "Does that mean that when Fred introduces his canoe to Lizzie's pond his mother's gonna be there?"

Lizzie gasped. She stared, mouth open at Shea in horror. "No!"

Shea bit back a laugh. "I think we're getting ahead of ourselves, yes? But if you were both lilin, you can bet my fabulous breasts that my mother would be there."

"Well, I'm not! And I never said I was letting his canoe anywhere near my pond!" Lizzie felt frantic.

Shea huffed out a breath. "You're so uptight. Reminds me of Lorcan. You could both use a massage, or a good, sweaty roll in the sheets." She looked to Gabriel, who sent out more of his powers through the room. Lizzie exhaled and slowly sat back in her chair, looking more relaxed.

"I don't know if I hate that you can do that, or if I'm grateful," she mumbled, a smile coming to her lips.

"Be grateful," Shea said, smiling. "I'm always grateful. What were we discussing again? Oh yes. How was sex with Lorcan?" Shea enjoyed pushing Lizzie's buttons and it still amazed her that someone was so uptight about sex. Lizzie was in for a rude awakening if Chloe's future was going to happen. She felt it was her responsibility to get her used to this kind of talk.

"I got a two for one. Happy?" Lizzie said, but she didn't look as angry as she had.

"Did he go down on you, or-"

"You know that didn't happen!" Lizzie cried. "What else are you going to ask? If I like biting, licking, or spanking?"

"Alright, alright," Shea said, holding up her hands. "Good enough. I bet Janie will be more than willing to share details of her romp with Remy." She looked expectantly toward Janie.

"Oh, Honey, you'll get a play by play with instant replay if I can swing it. I give them to Lizzie all the time, but this whole incubus deal, woo! I wish Fred had talked sooner. He shows up, and the universe just hands me gifts in droves!"

"See, I knew I could count on you," said Shea. "Actually, if I use my powers I can see what you experience." Shea looked over at Lizzie. "Will you join us?"

Lizzie rolled her eyes. "I'll let you two enjoy yourselves without my prudishness to ruin it."

"Yep, you and Baby Brother are perfect for one another." Shea grinned.

"Am I such a freak for not wanting to discuss every aspect of such an intimate moment?" Lizzie asked, feeling hurt. She wasn't a freak, and neither was Fred.

Shea blinked. She may have gone a little too far in her prodding. Reaching over, she gave Lizzie's hand a squeeze. "No. I'm sorry. Truly. It wasn't my intention to make you feel awkward. This is strange for me. I mean, talking to someone who doesn't want to share every little thing about sex is rare for me, even with Lorcan, and I'm sorry that I tried to push you out of your comfort zone. I don't have a lot of girlfriends." Shea looked away. "It's nice to talk to women. Like we're friends."

"Oh," Lizzie said, surprised. Part of her had assumed Shea was just trying to mess with her. Not necessarily in a malicious way, but for her own amusement. "I'm sorry, too. I guess part of me resists the poking and prodding, and while it's weird that you're his sister, you are easy to talk to. I could see us being friends."

Shea smiled. "Thanks. That's so sweet of you. You're precious beyond words."

Lizzie laughed. "I've never been accused of that before."

"She hasn't." Janie shook her head. "And you know, with all this friendship happening, it really is a shame you won't be a part of our shop talk, Lizzie. But I suppose you can spend that time perfecting obscene positions with Fred and his perfect schlong, and then not telling us about it." She gave her a pointed look. "I mean, the chance at taking an incubus' virginity, how often can you claim that honor? Keeping that to yourself is just cruel."

"Actually, a mortal's never claimed that honor." Shea grinned.

Lizzie blushed, despite willing herself to fight it. "You're hilarious," she said, without humor in her voice. "Just because I don't feel the need to go into minute detail over what we did to each other, doesn't mean I didn't enjoy it. I did." Lizzie sighed. "Sex with Charles was just… fine. It was nothing to write about. The other times I had sex in college it was kinda a drunken blur. If actual sex is half of what I experienced in my dream, then I feel cheated for missing out."

Her thoughts strayed to Fred. He was very important to her and when he'd left it had hurt. A lot. But now he'd returned and he wanted to be with her. Everything felt like it was happening so fast, and yet since he had shown back up, it felt like he had never left. Overwhelming was an understatement, and somehow she felt like he was near her even now. The feeling was strange, but comforting.

Shaking her head, Lizzie confessed, "I had gotten used to the idea that sex was just something you did as quickly as possible. I never imagined I would want it. More than once. In the same hour."

Shea stared at Lizzie in shock. "I am so sorry! I know many women haven't had the best experiences when it comes to sex, but I feel like I know you, and to hear that makes me so sad. God, I feel so depressed." She glanced toward the kitchen and then at Lizzie's plate. Stabbing some french toast with a fork, she shoved it in her mouth. "Food is therapeutic, too. Normally, I would go for sex, but that would be rude in this circumstance." Shea felt the connection between Fred and Lizzie and it gave her some comfort. If they could be together it would be the happiness they both deserved.

"Yeah, that _is_ depressing," uttered Janie. "I told you not to marry him the minute he had the gall to give you 'the gift of him' as your birthday present." She rolled her eyes, heated at the memory. "He had oodles of cash to splurge on himself, but when it came to you, you hardly got a cent. The man was _always_ overcompensating for you know what." She suggestively waggled her pinky in the air. "I hope you jumped Fred more than once in that hour!"

"There was no jumping!" Lizzie insisted. "It was only han- Ugh!" She covered her face, making Janie grin.

"Sorry. Couldn't resist." Janie patted her shoulder. "You're just so cute about it."

Lifting her face, Lizzie managed a small laugh. "At least I have your sympathy." She sighed. "I thought I was sad over my terrible experiences. I know Charles' equipment was lacking, but that wasn't a priority for me. I think I'd kick old me if I could. I deserve someone who puts me first and makes me feel good. That dream more than made up for all the bad times. I don't know if that's even more depressing or not."

"Good sex is good sex," Shea said, eating more french toast, "and if that's the best you've had, enjoy it." She took another bite. "This is good." Realizing she had finished Lizzie's food, Shea frowned. "Sorry, should I get you some more?"

"Um, no. I'm fine." Lizzie smiled. "Do you actually need to eat?"

"No, well, yes, but not food." She winked. "We do enjoy it, though. Taste is a sensation we love to experience. Some people are really into food."

"I had an ex like that," said Janie. "Paul. He really liked his mashed potatoes. Loved to mash them between my breasts and lick them up."

"Different strokes for different folks," Shea said.

"Mashed potatoes?" Lizzie echoed, dumbfounded. "In bed? During sex?"

"Hell yes, and don't even get me started on Thanksgiving night." Janie shook her head. "I gained so much weight dating him. We broke up. I'm sorry, but I like my body more than getting stuffed by Paul." She turned to Shea. "Fred's not into food, is he? Or Remy? Will Lizzie and I need Jenny Craig?"

"No, I think Lorcan's into more traditional sex and dirty talk." Shea smirked at Lizzie. "Remy, however, likes massages and sex in public places." She laughed as she remembered Remy's first time. "And spanking, just not that enthusiastically."

"Massages? Is he free every night?" Janie laughed. "Tell him I'll be gentle."

"I think this talk is helping," Lizzie murmured. "I don't really feel fazed by it so much anymore." Lizzie suddenly realized what Shea had mentioned regarding Fred and froze. "How do you know he likes dirty talk?" she asked as casually as possible.

"Sharing is caring," Shea said in a singsong voice. "And I have my ways, Doll."

"About time you stopped being so shy, Lizzie," added Janie. "I mean, your potential boy toy's an incubus. When in Rome…"

"Fred's not a boy, or a toy," Lizzie stated, stung by the idea. "He's… well, he's Fred."

"Well, he's all incubus now. So, Lizzie, where's the craziest place you've had sex?" Shea asked.

"A car," Lizzie said, lamely.

"Hey, you made it out of the bedroom!" Janie said, proudly.

"Barely. It was really awkward," Lizzie admitted.

"I rode Gary on a riding lawnmower once," Janie said. "Frank was in a Ferrari on a car lot. That was a rush! Oh, and there was the time that Ramone and I did it on a Ferris wheel. Lost my favorite pair of pumps."

"I had sex on the Titanic when it was in dry dock," Shea said, her gaze looking far off. "His name was Cian. He was lovely."

"The Titanic?" Janie blinked in disbelief. "Fred didn't sink it, did he?"

"No, he was in Ireland before that. He's banned from going there ever again, which is good because they probably would've blamed him for the Titanic. I think he was in America somewhere playing games with kiddies at the time." Shea smiled, but it didn't quite reach her eyes.

"Banned?" Lizzie asked, stunned that Fred had managed such a feat.

Shea waved it off. "It was some nonsense over laundry. It's all settled. Water under the bridge."

"Oh," Lizzie murmured. She wanted to ask more, but Shea looked like she might start yelling again. "So, why the Titanic?"

"I had wanted to see the unsinkable ship for myself," she continued. "An amazing achievement for that time. It was something to behold. Massive. I stayed long enough to see it leave harbor and then I went on my way. When I heard it sank and all those souls were lost, it broke my heart. I forget that life is fleeting sometimes."

"I'm sorry. That's terrible," Lizzie said, softly. "Do you- Are you immortal?"

"Yes. It's something I think my kind takes for granted." Shea looked at Lizzie and gave her a sad smile. "Sorry, for being such a buzzkill. It's not often I get sentimental."

"It's fine. Don't apologize. I guess I forgot that you're not human. You seem so… normal," Lizzie said, giving her a grin. "Especially next to Janie."

"Yeah, two peas in a pod," Janie said. "Immortal… Wow. I might need another drink."

"Same," Shea said, her voice tinged with sadness. "Oh, Freddy!"

Lizzie was about to comment when Shea waved for the waiter. Giving Shea a dirty look, a thought occurred to her. "I can't believe you pretended his name was Frederick."

Laughing quietly, Shea shook her head. "I'd say I'm sorry, but I'm really not..."

"I'm beginning to realize that deviousness seems to run in your family," Lizzie said, glaring.

"It wasn't to completely screw with you," Shea said, flicking her hair over her shoulder. "I merely wanted to test the waters."

"What does that mean?" Lizzie demanded.

"If your dream tryst with Fred didn't mean anything, then you wouldn't react to Freddy and his delightful red hair, but if you did… well, maybe we'd have something to work with." She watched Lizzie with her expressive, green eyes, waiting.

Crossing her arms over her chest, Lizzie sighed. "Is there a compulsion in your family to mess with people, particularly me?"

"No. Usually we love to mess with each other. And if we can get each other in trouble with our mother, then even better." Shea grinned at Lizzie, who kept her glare. "I can see you're quite put out with me," Shea said, tilting her head. "I'm sorry I took my curiosity to such lengths. Some people aren't very forthcoming and I find reactions are more telling."

Gabriel, still in the guise of Frederick, came to the table with a full glass for Shea, refilled everyone's drinks, and left without a word.

Slowly, Lizzie placed her hands on the top of the table and leaned forward. "I swear to god you and your brother are going to send me to the nut house," she said, her voice calm and even. "Why did you need to see my reaction?"

"You're not exactly a fount of information when it comes to you and my brother." Shea continued studying Lizzie. "If I asked you if you had feelings for Lorcan, would you have given me an answer?"

"NO!" It came out much louder than Lizzie had intended and again people around them turned to look her way. Lizzie breathed out through her nose and spoke again in a quieter voice. "I wouldn't have because I don't know."

"Oh?" Shea's voice tinged with curiosity.

"Oh?" Lizzie mimicked, irritation clear in her tone. "You're impossible."

"I know. It's a gift and a curse," Shea said, sounding amused. Her smile waned. "Seriously, Lizzie, I'm just trying to help. I don't know you and peeking in your head would be cheating. The best way to figure you out is to talk to you. Yes, I play my games, and I'm completely open about my sexuality, and I press you with personal questions, but this is love on the line!" Shea leaned forward. "I know I'm asking a lot of you. I'm pushing you way out of your comfort zone and I do apologize for that, but my intentions are good. You need your cage rattled. What do you feel?"

Rubbing her temples, Lizzie rolled her eyes. Shea saying love was on the line surprised her. No one had said anything about love. This was just something more than friendship. Or was it? "What don't I feel?"

"The spirit of sharing, for starters," muttered Janie before she took a sip of her drink.

Sticking out her tongue, Lizzie made a face at Janie. "I'm sorry I don't feel the need to broadcast my sex life and what I feel about the strange man in my life who isn't exactly a man." Lizzie looked hard at Shea, who only smiled back. "It may be cliché, but it's complicated."

Brows raised, Shea waited in silence as she took a sip from her glass.

Taking a drink, Lizzie shook her head. "So, it's my turn to do all the talking?"

Janie said nothing and expectantly tilted her head.

"God! You're both like the mafia!" Lizzie played with the napkin in her lap. "I'm confused. I know I don't talk about everything and I keep most of what I feel inside, but I don't know what to do with this. How do you deal with something like this?"

"How do _you_ want to deal with something like this?" asked Janie with interest. "He sounds attractive with grade A timber, has helped you get your life together, and he cares about you. Are you saying you're _not_ interested?"

"I'd be lying if I said otherwise, but is it morbid curiosity? Lust? Insanity? I don't know how to separate one thing from another." She looked at Shea, eyes pleading. "What's real?" Fred was her friend, always had been, but he wasn't just Drop Dead Fred anymore. He was Lorcan, Shea's brother. And he was a man in the guise of Fred who also happened to be an incubus. What was she supposed to feel for someone she didn't really know?

Shea felt bad for the jumble of emotions inside Lizzie. It had to be overwhelming.

"It's all real, Lizzie," Shea said, scooting forward in her seat. "You and Lorcan have a connection and now you have chemistry. It's only natural to feel curious about things. The lust is self explanatory and the insanity… Well, my brother does tend to inspire that in people." She smiled. "Taking the first steps in a new relationship is never easy. It's nerve-wracking and exciting. You just have to be brave. We're here for you. Whatever you decide. We'll support you. I just hope you'll be open, get to know him now that you know the truth."

"Yep. You know I'm there one-hundred percent," said Janie, smiling at Lizzie. "But my guess is, you already know what you want, but you're fighting yourself on it. Am I right?" She lifted her eyebrows. "By the way, just how ugly was this suit? You don't happen to have a picture, do you?"

"Thankfully that suit is but an ugly memory," Shea said, grimacing. "Be glad you never saw it."

"It was very…" Lizzie began.

"Eye-assaulting? Offensive? Vomit-inducing?" Shea suggested with gusto.

"I was going to say bright," Lizzie said with a small smile.

"You're just being polite." Shea sniffed.

"So… he was a manic highlighter?" asked Janie.

"Basically," Shea muttered. "So tacky."

"Um, so, aside from the fact that Fred doesn't, or didn't, know how to dress, you're both saying I do know what I want, right?" Lizzie asked, looking sideways at Shea, who muttered about moldy clothes.

Janie patted the table. "Hey, style's no issue. Clothes all come off the same when you're riding the lawnmower to pleasure town." Janie grinned. "So, what's it gonna take to squeeze this answer out of you? Come on. Deep breath. It's a safe place. Visualize, feel it, and let it out! Just stop fighting yourself and say it. We're here for you, aren't we, Shea?"

"Yes, and obviously this is a judgment free zone." She turned to Janie, mouthed mashed potatoes and winked.

"I've noticed," Lizzie said, a wry smile on her lips. "I know you both just want to help. It's not easy for me." She looked at Janie. "You know about my mother, and my dad leaving, and then that toxic thing with Charles. Relationships have always been complicated for me. You're the best friend I have and the one I trust the most. Fred is… safe. In a way he's the least complicated relationship I have. At least he was. I didn't have to think about what he means to me, or sensor myself, or put on some sort of mask for him. He knew everything about me and it didn't matter." She looked at Shea, worriedly.

"I don't want to lose that. What if him seeing me in a romantic light ruins that? What if he sees something and it destroys what we have? What if he runs again and doesn't come back?" Looking down at her lap, Lizzie wrung the napkin. "I don't think I could take another disappearance." Her voice shook. She had seen Fred walk away from her once, so to speak, and if she had to see it again it would wreck her. The connection they had tugged at her now and the thought of it being gone was unbearable.

"Wow. I don't blame you," said Janie. "Listen, I don't really know this guy to give you any sort of insights on what he might, or might not do, but your fears are valid. It's hard going from friendships to relationships, especially after the hell you went through." She turned to Shea. "Time for you to step in on your brother's behalf here again. What's the forecast? Where's he stand? He sounds very unpredictable. Is he mentally ill?"

"Well, he knows better than to run, I can promise you that," Shea said, anger flashing in her eyes. "That was such a shitty thing to do." She drummed her fingers on the table. "He's not mentally ill! He's just an idiot!" The drumming increased. "Honestly, his life choices are so questionable. I mean, they were. He finally saw sense when he came home." She looked at Lizzie. "He's taking the steps to change. He wants to, but he's scared, too. He's had this mental block about accepting who he is. I've seen the progress. Just talk to him. If he seems completely unfit to be with you, then let him have it."

"Hmm," said Janie, "well, that at least sounds like full disclosure. You don't always get that. I must admit, he's losing some points, but then they're all idiots in some way, aren't they? How do you feel about this, Lizzie?"

Her thoughts still on Fred and their connection made Lizzie miss him. She wanted to hear him laugh. Even hearing him say Snotface would be a welcome sound. She rubbed her chest. "I know he can do stupid things and sometimes he makes me so mad I can't see straight, but he's also supportive and he sees me," Lizzie said, her voice low. "Sometimes I feel like he's the only one who sees me."

"Sounds nice." Shea smiled and winked. "I'd say that shows he has potential."

"Alright, he's back on the board. Points redeemed. For now," said Janie, pointing at Lizzie and adding her own wink.

"Enough with the winking, girls. I'm going to think it's contagious." Waving a hand at them, Lizzie smiled. "Thank you, though. Both of you. It helped to talk things over."

"So, you've decided?" Shea asked, trying to keep her voice even. She sensed calm in Lizzie. Shea, on the other hand, felt anything but calm.

"I want to talk to Fred. I want to hear from him why he left, and why he's back, and what he wants from me." She slapped her hand on the table. "I'm going to get a straight answer out of him."

"Good for you!" cried Shea. "Make him sweat! From questioning, I mean. Sweating from other activities can come later." She smiled, sweetly. "One can hope."

Lizzie groaned. "We aren't gonna have sex!" She fought to keep her voice low. "You're getting way ahead of yourself, Scheherazade!" She tried to not think of sweaty activities with Fred and clenched her hands, the urge to wrap them around Fred irresistible. Whether to hug him or strangle him, Lizzie couldn't say, but she felt a need to be near him.

Shea grinned. "Yes, yes. I'm sorry. I couldn't resist. You and Baby Brother will just play nice with your toys and-"

"Shut up. We're going to talk. Like adults, which will be interesting since I didn't think Fred was capable of that at all," Lizzie muttered, taking a drink.

"I appreciate you willing to hear him out and not write him off as a lost cause," Shea said, smiling. "You're a kind person."

"I don't know that it's really kindness, but he's been my friend for a long time," Lizzie said. "I'd be a terrible friend if I didn't give him the chance to explain."

"Well, I think you're kind," Shea said, nodding her head for emphasis. "I think I see exactly what he sees in you."

"Oh?" Lizzie blushed. "I- What is that?"

"You're a sweet, caring woman who happens to be a knockout."

"A knockout? I don't know about that," Lizzie said, looking stunned.

"I do! Don't question my taste! It's excellent!" Shea said, her voice filled with certainty. She paused, tilting her head as if she heard something behind her. "I'm sorry, ladies. I need to dash. It's been a ball. We should do brunch again. I know a place that has the cutest waiters. I'll see you soon, Lizzie." She grinned and hurried away, disappearing into the kitchen with "Frederick" close behind.

"I- That just happened, right?" Lizzie turned to Janie, slamming her palm on the table. "I swear I will check myself into an institution if you don't tell me that you witnessed all of that!"

"Incubi, sex dreams, and mind altering suits? Yeah. I heard it," said Janie. "Boy… that's a lot to take in. How are you going to handle all of this when he shows up again? What do you want in all this?" Janie's mind reeled with all the layers this situation had. Part of her plotted a book.

"I don't know! I feel like I should hear him out, but part of me worries it'll end in a fight again." Lizzie took a large sip from her glass. She set it down with a clunk and looked right in Janie's eyes. "Part of me wants to know that he's sticking around and is going to satisfy me repeatedly, and maybe even in real life, but that's ridiculous, right?" Lizzie sighed. "Is it just the sex talking? The really, really good sex talking?"

"From what I hear, it's doing a lot of talking, but I know you, Lizzie. You don't get all sweaty and involved with men, or want to unless there's something more under there." Janie lifted an eyebrow at her. "I don't think it's just incubi magic."

"It's still hard to think of Fred as a man. He's been my best friend for so long and he's always been such an outrageous person. Can someone like that be serious about a relationship? Is it even worth considering? Should I just count myself lucky for the experience and move on? Preserve the friendship?" She looked at her friend, pleading for help. Would telling him no to a real relationship ruin things? The thought worried her. She touched her sternum again.

Janie reached out and laid her hand over Lizzie's. "If he means anything to you at all, on _any_ level, I think you owe it yourself to find out. Who knows. He might surprise you. Sounds like he's been hiding a lot under whatever that suit was..." Janie's expression softened. "Hon, you wouldn't be having this crisis if he didn't mean something. Trust me. I've had countless encounters of meaningless sex, and that was exactly what it was. Meaningless. Think about it. Plus, I've gotta see where this goes." She grinned and patted Lizzie's hand.

Lizzie laughed. "You always could make me feel better. You're right. I should at least hear him out. Maybe he'll surprise me. Hopefully, in a good way."

"I bet he will." Janie sat up and tapped the table. "So, I'm curious, what exactly _did_ you feel off him in the dream?"

"Oh God! I was half-hoping you wouldn't ask." Lizzie laughed. "It was intense. I felt like he wanted me, desperately, and if he couldn't he would die. It was like I could feel throughout my entire body how much he desired me, craved to feel me. I was wanted to an extreme level and it felt so good." She shook her head, still in disbelief. "And then he made me feel like I would die if I didn't feel his touch. I needed to feel him on my skin, taste his lips, feel him inside me, and if I didn't I was going to crawl out of my skin, or lose my mind." Lizzie felt the desire and the intense need creep to the surface. Her pulse sped up and she squeezed her thighs together to ease the ache between her legs. "And then his fingers were on me, in me, and I wanted to die, but from pure joy and ecstasy and I wanted nothing else for the rest of my life."

Janie's mouth hung open and her face reddened from forgetting to breathe. "Oh my god, Lizzie! And you had to think about seeing him again? Are you out of your mind? If he had a phone, I'd say call him now! Follow him home! Jesus!" She grabbed her water glass and drank. "This guy made me rich after sinking my boat, and he's giving you the time of your life. I don't even know him personally, but I'm on the Fred train. Go get him."

Lizzie shook her head. "I'm so glad you don't keep things to yourself. I know you don't just mean the sex, but I'm afraid. What if this is just another doomed relationship, and what if everything's ruined and he leaves for good?"

Janie sighed, but looked at her friend with understanding and love. "I know it's hard, especially after Charles, and it sounds like this Fred guy is the closest, healthiest relationship you've had with a male, right? Relationships don't come with a guarantee, Lizzie. You can wait a year, you can wait a lifetime. You still run the same risk you do today. You don't even know how old this guy really is, but sounds to me like he's been around a long while, and like you're the first woman to ever turn his head. I don't think he's gonna run off again if he's serious, which sounds like he is now thanks to his sister and losing that suit. I think you're going to need to tell him how important him sticking around really is, especially if you can see yourself with him."

Lizzie blinked. _Can I see myself with him?_ She tried to imagine a life with Fred as she knew him and it seemed impossible. She tried to imagine the other Fred she was beginning to see, but while it wasn't impossible to see, it was still slightly fuzzy in her mind. She had to choose or there would be no kind of Fred to be with at all and the thought ate at her.

"I don't know if I should be glad, or sad that he's my healthiest male relationship. I don't know what's going to happen, but I won't know until I see him." She wrung her hands. The thought gave her butterflies in her stomach. How was it going to go? Lizzie felt like it would be awkward as hell.

Frederick the waiter returned and started clearing their plates. "Ladies, I hope everything was to your satisfaction. Today's meal is on the house. Compliments of management." He grinned and looked at Janie. "Shea wanted me to let you know that Remy's free later tonight and is looking forward to… meeting you." He winked and left with their dishes.

Janie's eyes remained wide. "Goddamn they've got great service here! I'm going straight to bed tonight. Can't wait to find out if this Remy's as good as yours." She shivered at the thought and looked back at Lizzie. "Whatever happens tonight with Fred, it better wait 'til morning." She winked.

Lizzie laughed. "Best brunch ever." She shook her head. "Don't worry. I wouldn't dare disturb your appointment. Even if I did call you, you wouldn't even hear it, let alone answer it." She grinned. "I should get going. I have some errands to run and I guess I need to be ready for this talk with Fred." The nervous feeling returned and with it, Lizzie felt hope. She was excited to see him.

"Sounds good. I like this plan. You're moving forward, I've got a scrumptious evening planned, and you've got, well, a surprise at least. Should be one hell of time." Janie grinned. "Talk to you tomorrow sometime. Not before noon." She winked, standing up with her purse. She gave Lizzie a hug and walked toward the door, humming to herself.

Lizzie watched as Janie practically skip away. "At least I'll get to grill her about her activities if my night turns into a disaster." She left the restaurant, got in her car, and drove around town, completing her errands and trying not to be anxious about Fred coming over.


End file.
